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Preparing to quit on 1/2

Old 12-24-2009, 06:48 AM
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Preparing to quit on 1/2

Hi all, I have set my date to quit being Jan 2 to be my first day of being sober. I had the talk with my wife that I have a problem (she obviously already knew) but was tough for me to say out loud. I have an appointment with my Dr. and I'm assuming that will be an uncomfortable conversation but will get through it.

I am hoping she prescribes meds and I plan to detox at home. I am a 5 strong drink per day person of Whiskey and soda. I go through a bottle of 1.75 every 5 days or so. I am a daily drinker but only after work at night. I drink in my house alone. I don't really know why I do this other than it is a stress reliever after a hard day at work, but work can't be that hard every day right?

Towards the end of each day I get a little jumpy until I have had one or two drinks and then in a haze until I pass out. I work out every day to help with weight control and burn off last night cob webs. I am not a religious person and and hoping I can this on my own with help from you all. Is AA a requirement?

My wife is supporting me and will quit drinking too. She does abuse alcohol but isn't a daily drinker.

Looking for feedback on my plan. I read some scary stuff on the withdrawl forum and it sounds like I will be in for 4 "fun" days. Thanks for reading.
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Old 12-24-2009, 06:56 AM
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Originally Posted by BetterDad View Post
Is AA a requirement?
AA is not a requirement. It's simply a way that many of us have found that really works, and allows us to be fulfilled and content without drinking.

If you find that just quitting proves harder than you thought, you may want to talk to a recovered alcoholic in AA. I walked into AA a staunch atheist, and found the common spiritual solution, so don't let the lack of religious leanings worry you.
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Old 12-24-2009, 07:00 AM
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I have 42 days sober. The first 4 were not that bad because like you I work out and am better fit than most drunks. Please be careful this holiday. You may want to go ALL OUT because you have a quit day in mind. You could DUI or worse yet kill someone behind the wheel. Find a driver or take a bus or cab.

If you are going to AA try to go to several different groups to find 1 you like. That is what is helping me.

I wish you the best.
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Old 12-24-2009, 07:06 AM
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I am drinking through the liqour cabinet to get it out of the house, but don't worry... I don't drink and drive.

Is this last dance I am having a bad idea? should I be weening off and would that make quitting in total on 1/2 easier? Just was thinking I didn't want to start the "pain" until my quit date.
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Old 12-24-2009, 07:14 AM
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Welcome to SR. There is a lot of support here.

Originally Posted by BetterDad View Post
I am drinking through the liqour cabinet to get it out of the house, but don't worry... I don't drink and drive.
Be careful doing that. I would suggest just dumping it instead of trying to drink it all. Just my opinion though.
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Old 12-24-2009, 07:30 AM
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Welcome to SR. Sobriety is worth the journey.
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Old 12-24-2009, 07:31 AM
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Do you tend to spoil the holidays when, you drink? If so, why don't you make this a great Christmas and New Years and try not drinking through them??
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Old 12-24-2009, 07:41 AM
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I don't plan to ruin the holidays. I plan to be a social drinker at the parties over the next week and not go over my daily limit that I set for myself. Changing my quit date would stress me out. Plus I am not seeing my Dr until next week.

Thanks for your concern.

No one besides my wife knows I have a problem since I drink at home. How have you broached this with friends and family. I plan to tell folks that I just decided to not drink, but not tell the world the reason why.

New year diet excuse. cut down on calories and remove alcohol. I know coming clean is probably the best way, but kind of embarrassed and would rather just tell folks I gave it up.

thoughts?
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Old 12-24-2009, 07:44 AM
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Originally Posted by CAPTAINZING2000 View Post
Do you tend to spoil the holidays when, you drink? If so, why don't you make this a great Christmas and New Years and try not drinking through them??
That's what I was thinking. And I know that its a scary thought to not drink during the holidays, but if you are serious and this is what you want to do...why not make it your first alcohol free holiday. It's a start and then talk to your Doctor.

There will be lots of others on SR through out the day. Keep checking back because I have a feeling you are going to get quite a few responses.
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Old 12-24-2009, 07:47 AM
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First of all welcome to SR and merry Christmas

If it were me id come out and tell people I was quitting - but its no ones buisness as to the reason why you quit.
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Old 12-24-2009, 07:51 AM
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Welcome and I am glad you decided to live a sober life.

For me, I chose to keep my decision to myself. I think it's a very personal decision and only my immediate family was aware. I recognized that honesty was going to be a huge part of my recovery, and therefore I decided that I would not make up excuses or lie to people, but rather just say 'No thanks' and let it go at that.
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Old 12-24-2009, 07:52 AM
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Originally Posted by BetterDad View Post
No one besides my wife knows I have a problem since I drink at home. How have you broached this with friends and family. I plan to tell folks that I just decided to not drink, but not tell the world the reason why.
I can only tell you from my experience. I told everyone the truth. I only drank at home so no one else really knew that I had a problem. When I was serious about quitting I first spoke with me Doctor and then my family and friends. I also told my boss and my coworkers. I figured they had a right to know why I wasn't be as productive at work. I had to be honest with everyone that was around me. I have found so much support from all of these people and could not have done this if I had not been honest with myself and all of them. But the choice is yours....and honestly its not anyone's business. You can always just say no thank you when offered a drink. No explanation is needed.
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Old 12-24-2009, 08:02 AM
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I quit for 6+ months without AA, mostly using SR. I hated the religious aspect, and the "we are the way" attitude I saw so often. I went to my first meeting in September I think, and I have to say, it has added a whole new and wonderful dimension to my recovery. They have a pretty great set of skills to live a good life, and I just used "The universe" in general as my higher power, believing surely there must be something beyond what we see here.

As far as the holiday plan, I always 'planned" to be a social drinker, but thats the problem with booze right? Eventually I saw that it was alcohol, not me, making my decisions. I personally would never decide to drink every day in the amount I was, or drink til I felt like sh!t the next day, or drink til I did stupid things.

When I realized that alcohol had taken the wheel, I snapped. I am a strong and rebellious girl, and nobody but nobody runs MY show. I took my life back that day, then and there, take that alcohol!

Of course for the people in recovery reading this, you may know that I eventually found a HP was even better at running the show than me, but that came a bit later in the game.

Welcome to SR, read and post, lots of great information and support here.
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Old 12-24-2009, 08:10 AM
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Originally Posted by BetterDad View Post
I don't plan to ruin the holidays.
I never planned to ruin the holidays either

Originally Posted by BetterDad View Post
I plan to be a social drinker at the parties over the next week and not go over my daily limit that I set for myself.
Let us know how it works out for you. I am not trying to be negative here. I am just noting that you have made a "plan." Your ability to stick to it will be quite telling as to the seriousness of your condition.

If you can control your drinking by putting your mind to it, it may just be a matter of making a decision and stopping.

If you find you cannot stick to your "plan" your condition may be much worse than you suspect.

I wouldn't pour out the alcohol. Alcohol withdrawal can be fatal and I know nothing about your physical condition.

At any rate, this next week could prove to be invaluable in that it could give you a solid understanding of the situation.

And as I said, please keep us posted as to how it works for you. No one will judge you in either case. There is an amazon collective experience on these forums from which to draw.

Good luck.
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Old 12-24-2009, 08:12 AM
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Oh yeah, all you have to tell your friends is, "I realized I am allergic to alcohol"
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Old 12-24-2009, 08:27 AM
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Originally Posted by basIam View Post
Oh yeah, all you have to tell your friends is, "I realized I am allergic to alcohol"
Are you being serious or giving me the business?
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Old 12-24-2009, 08:42 AM
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Originally Posted by BetterDad View Post
Are you being serious or giving me the business?
Serious as a heartattack... and it is possibly very close to the truth.

What ever the case, saying "I'm not drinking tonight" runs the risk of somone responding " aw c'mon, you can have one"

I've never seen anyone say "I'm allergic" and being met with "you can have one." Have you?

I really do want to hear about the success you have with your plan!
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Old 12-24-2009, 08:50 AM
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Originally Posted by BetterDad View Post
I don't plan to ruin the holidays.

thoughts?
None of us on here ever set out to ruin a Christmas etc.

One year, a friend of mine from work and later in AA with me started partying at work together. We proceeded to the bar after work and closed it down. All would have ended well for me had his wife not called my wife at the time. I get home my x wife goes all ugly on me. Before it was all said and done, I loaded up all the Christmas presents and took off with them. I drowned the car out in the river and woke up in the morning with presents floating in the car.

Some of my friends from work still call me Mr. Grinch over that one.



Your choice on staying sober or not. At least, you're admitting you've got a drinking problem. That's half the battle there!!
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Old 12-24-2009, 10:43 AM
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Originally Posted by basIam View Post
There is an amazon collective experience on these forums from which to draw.
I really gotta nbe more careful when posting via my phone. . . the auto correct can create some really amusing sentences, huh?
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Old 12-24-2009, 10:58 AM
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I stayed drunk when I kept planning on quitting. For years.

Why not now? Dump the liquor.. have a Merry Christmas.
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