my own little piece of recovery world
spirit
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: perth,western australia
Posts: 1,460
some good news
SHE SAID NO.
so now that is sorted out, we can focus on him and us. he is still going to have time out, i said that is ok, i need that too, but will wait until after christmas is out of the way. from what he said she said, she was pretty clear she wasnt interested. he also didnt tell her that we were splitting because of her, so that is not the reason she said no either.
anway the hard work starts now for us, but at least for the first time in 2 yrs, there has been honesty, we can work on getting her out of his head, he has her answer and we have a chance to work on us.
feel better today. i bought him a bunch flowers, cause i knew he must be feeling like crap, rejected etc. but i told him i thought he was brave and i was proud of him. i also said i bought flowers cause my instinct was to buy win, but i had given a committment not to do that, so flowers it is.
hugs to all
kath
SHE SAID NO.
so now that is sorted out, we can focus on him and us. he is still going to have time out, i said that is ok, i need that too, but will wait until after christmas is out of the way. from what he said she said, she was pretty clear she wasnt interested. he also didnt tell her that we were splitting because of her, so that is not the reason she said no either.
anway the hard work starts now for us, but at least for the first time in 2 yrs, there has been honesty, we can work on getting her out of his head, he has her answer and we have a chance to work on us.
feel better today. i bought him a bunch flowers, cause i knew he must be feeling like crap, rejected etc. but i told him i thought he was brave and i was proud of him. i also said i bought flowers cause my instinct was to buy win, but i had given a committment not to do that, so flowers it is.
hugs to all
kath
Sending you love and (((Hugs))) Kath. I hope things work out for you. 
))))
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: ontario
Posts: 83
Spirit
Hi Spirit,
I caught this thread today. First read the last part of this one, then skipped to the beginning and tried to catch up on the drift of things.
I got as far as a few pages after you came home from this plane ride.
Then I went back to the end of this thread.
So I said to myself (not knowing the entire thread), what the heck is this? Spirit is now having conversations with partner about how ow said no? I asked how does that fit into any decision making here? Truly I am sorry you are going through any of this.
Bottom line for me was I put myself into your shoes and thought what would I do?
Came up with this: forget what the ow says (hey an ow is determining what you yourself might want?);
what do you want? (for yourself)
I have never been in your situation but I sit here and think you were doing so well, so why even begin to let an ow have any say in what you yourself want to do?
As for flowers to your partner I'd say forget that (was this a reward for him???) and instead: buy a flower and place it nicely in your hair, pile a bunch of other flowers in a vase where you enjoy them, and after telling your partner what is is that YOU want , go after it girl!
:hello2
Hope you have a sponsor or someone really good at this sort of thing.
Greenmeadow
I caught this thread today. First read the last part of this one, then skipped to the beginning and tried to catch up on the drift of things.
I got as far as a few pages after you came home from this plane ride.
Then I went back to the end of this thread.
So I said to myself (not knowing the entire thread), what the heck is this? Spirit is now having conversations with partner about how ow said no? I asked how does that fit into any decision making here? Truly I am sorry you are going through any of this.
Bottom line for me was I put myself into your shoes and thought what would I do?
Came up with this: forget what the ow says (hey an ow is determining what you yourself might want?);
what do you want? (for yourself)
I have never been in your situation but I sit here and think you were doing so well, so why even begin to let an ow have any say in what you yourself want to do?
As for flowers to your partner I'd say forget that (was this a reward for him???) and instead: buy a flower and place it nicely in your hair, pile a bunch of other flowers in a vase where you enjoy them, and after telling your partner what is is that YOU want , go after it girl!
:hello2
Hope you have a sponsor or someone really good at this sort of thing.
Greenmeadow
spirit
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: perth,western australia
Posts: 1,460
hi guys, thank you for all you kind thoughts and lovely to meet you green! , what a cool nick you have.
well actually with the flowers he said they should be for me, that i deserved them. i said lets says they are for us so we both have something nice to look at after getting through the last few days of crap. he said you mean the last two years! haha, oh well he is learning.
god and then guess what happened. i think i have to change boards here. Mr 16 was being really weird last night blah blah blah. eventually i went in and said waht is going on with you. he burst into to tears, said look, he had been self harming, said he didnt want to live anymore, wanted to stop taking speed (WTF) and go on H for a couple of years cause it was better and then die at 18 cause he didnt want to get a job blah blah blah blah
we i was sitting there thinking, where to F has this come from. have i been walking around so blind for the last few years, what sort of mum am i etc etc etc.
anyway i rang the psych team, took hm to hospital, had him admitted, more so he could see what happens to people who take drugs and it is not a romantic bloody lifestyle etc etc etc. when he got into the ward he looked really scared, terrified, which thought was a good thing. i had to laugh though cause a very odd old man wth no teeth who couldnt speak properly etc, came over to say hello and ask me for a cigarette, to which i had to say no. it was about 1.30am by this stage and i dont think they let them out for smokes at that hour haha. anyway i chatted to this man, mr 16 has stunned that i could do that because he has never seen me in my 'work head'. then the guy went over to the fridge (we were waiting in the dining room) and poured us both a mug of milk and brought it over. i said thank you very much and proceeded to drink the milk. Mr 16 had eyes like saucers, 'mum you are not going to drink that are you?", i said yes it is just milk i saw him get it out of the fridge and i dont want to offend him. ( in my head i am thinking go i dont want this guy to go troppo if i reject the milk etchaha) Anyway he came back and asked why mr 16 wasnt drinking it, i said he didnt like milk etc. then the nurses came and took the guy aware. mr 16 said he was scared, i said good, but the people here will be ok, you just need to think about yourself and be nice etc etc. so i left him there.
i will go and see him a bit later, i have to get mr 11 from his dad's he has a wart on his leg, which of course is a significant life crisis as well. haha. when i rang my boss today to say, cant come in again - life crisis, i asked if she had a spare room in her house, (she collects waifs and strays in her family) she laughd and said no. i said i didnt want it for mr 16 but for ME haha
god what did i do in a previous life - i must have been really bad haha, the next one should be ok, cause i think i am dealing with enough here now haha
well as i say, gotta laugh. now i need to go and learn all about speed, crap i was wanting to learn about macrame or cake icing or something haha.
i'll try to spare you from furthr updates haha ( JOKE)
but be afraid next time someone asks"where is our fearless leader" - god knows what you will here next, not sure there is much more but i am sure it will find me.
i feel like a **** magnet, mm not sure i can say that, sorry if i offend, but it is a good saying haha.
hugs all -
kath
well actually with the flowers he said they should be for me, that i deserved them. i said lets says they are for us so we both have something nice to look at after getting through the last few days of crap. he said you mean the last two years! haha, oh well he is learning.
god and then guess what happened. i think i have to change boards here. Mr 16 was being really weird last night blah blah blah. eventually i went in and said waht is going on with you. he burst into to tears, said look, he had been self harming, said he didnt want to live anymore, wanted to stop taking speed (WTF) and go on H for a couple of years cause it was better and then die at 18 cause he didnt want to get a job blah blah blah blah
we i was sitting there thinking, where to F has this come from. have i been walking around so blind for the last few years, what sort of mum am i etc etc etc.
anyway i rang the psych team, took hm to hospital, had him admitted, more so he could see what happens to people who take drugs and it is not a romantic bloody lifestyle etc etc etc. when he got into the ward he looked really scared, terrified, which thought was a good thing. i had to laugh though cause a very odd old man wth no teeth who couldnt speak properly etc, came over to say hello and ask me for a cigarette, to which i had to say no. it was about 1.30am by this stage and i dont think they let them out for smokes at that hour haha. anyway i chatted to this man, mr 16 has stunned that i could do that because he has never seen me in my 'work head'. then the guy went over to the fridge (we were waiting in the dining room) and poured us both a mug of milk and brought it over. i said thank you very much and proceeded to drink the milk. Mr 16 had eyes like saucers, 'mum you are not going to drink that are you?", i said yes it is just milk i saw him get it out of the fridge and i dont want to offend him. ( in my head i am thinking go i dont want this guy to go troppo if i reject the milk etchaha) Anyway he came back and asked why mr 16 wasnt drinking it, i said he didnt like milk etc. then the nurses came and took the guy aware. mr 16 said he was scared, i said good, but the people here will be ok, you just need to think about yourself and be nice etc etc. so i left him there.
i will go and see him a bit later, i have to get mr 11 from his dad's he has a wart on his leg, which of course is a significant life crisis as well. haha. when i rang my boss today to say, cant come in again - life crisis, i asked if she had a spare room in her house, (she collects waifs and strays in her family) she laughd and said no. i said i didnt want it for mr 16 but for ME haha
god what did i do in a previous life - i must have been really bad haha, the next one should be ok, cause i think i am dealing with enough here now haha
well as i say, gotta laugh. now i need to go and learn all about speed, crap i was wanting to learn about macrame or cake icing or something haha.
i'll try to spare you from furthr updates haha ( JOKE)
but be afraid next time someone asks"where is our fearless leader" - god knows what you will here next, not sure there is much more but i am sure it will find me.
i feel like a **** magnet, mm not sure i can say that, sorry if i offend, but it is a good saying haha.
hugs all -
kath
Connie
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 83
Kath:
After reading what you're going thorough, I see that you are still fearless. Reminds me of a time I went through about 10 years ago, my marriage was ending, I had to put one of my sons in a psychiatric hospital, just all around chaos. I don't know how I got through it, but I did. I felt as if I was at war, and just laced my army boots up everyday and went out there and trudged through the muck. Luckily at that time, alcohol wasn't in my life, that came later. Anyway, the "one day at a time" concept got me through that hell, just as it's getting me through my life today.
Hang in there girl. I agree with Green, buy yourself flowers next time. Keep the chin up, and hang on to your wonderful sense of humor. I hear on TV that theres a heat wave going on in your part of the world. Hit the beach, girl!
Happy, happy Christmas to you
After reading what you're going thorough, I see that you are still fearless. Reminds me of a time I went through about 10 years ago, my marriage was ending, I had to put one of my sons in a psychiatric hospital, just all around chaos. I don't know how I got through it, but I did. I felt as if I was at war, and just laced my army boots up everyday and went out there and trudged through the muck. Luckily at that time, alcohol wasn't in my life, that came later. Anyway, the "one day at a time" concept got me through that hell, just as it's getting me through my life today.
Hang in there girl. I agree with Green, buy yourself flowers next time. Keep the chin up, and hang on to your wonderful sense of humor. I hear on TV that theres a heat wave going on in your part of the world. Hit the beach, girl!
Happy, happy Christmas to you
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: ontario
Posts: 83
Spirit
I like your nick too and as Connie said you are still fearless. You've got lots of spunk and spirit!
If it's of any help, I have a dear friend who went through something similar with her son and at the time it was so exhausting, bewildering and scary but she came through it with the help of friends, a therapist, and a minister. (plus all the med people for her son).... he's doing well now.
Keep the faith, hold onto hope, you will get through this.
greenmeadow
If it's of any help, I have a dear friend who went through something similar with her son and at the time it was so exhausting, bewildering and scary but she came through it with the help of friends, a therapist, and a minister. (plus all the med people for her son).... he's doing well now.
Keep the faith, hold onto hope, you will get through this.
greenmeadow
spirit
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: perth,western australia
Posts: 1,460
hahaha a leash, i might get two one for mr 16 and another for mr 40 hahahaha
i guess i am pretty tough (meds must be working haha) but some days ahhhh, but we all get those.
well i am up and attem this morning. mr 16 seems ok, i am a bit nervous about leaving him on his own today, but he said he might go to my folks place, but he will probably sleep so that is ok. he went to bed early last night which was good and ate heaps at dinner.
so today should be a good day.
and guess what i havent had a drink!!!!!! that is just bloody amazing, mind you i havent had time hahahaha,
hugs all - love yas
kath
i guess i am pretty tough (meds must be working haha) but some days ahhhh, but we all get those.
well i am up and attem this morning. mr 16 seems ok, i am a bit nervous about leaving him on his own today, but he said he might go to my folks place, but he will probably sleep so that is ok. he went to bed early last night which was good and ate heaps at dinner.
so today should be a good day.
and guess what i havent had a drink!!!!!! that is just bloody amazing, mind you i havent had time hahahaha,
hugs all - love yas
kath
spirit
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: perth,western australia
Posts: 1,460
oh and for christmas, imagine this, i am taking mr 16, just him and me, to a 12 hour concert of willie nelson, the guy out of talking heads, jimmy barnes ( a guy you wouldnt know), BLONDIE and the DOORS (jim morrison cant make it evidently haha)
i will need strength for that, but it isnt until feb so have some time to work up to it haha
mmm let me see for husband, i got him a voucher to refill his air tanks for scuba diving. i asked for the unfilling vouchers, but they said there were none left, must have been a run on them from other wives hahahahahaha. actually the man said i sounded quite mean and that he was glad i didnt know his wife. i said give me her number. then he said, no lets have a beer to discuss it, haha i said that is exactly the sort of behaviour that will get you air tanks UNFILLED hahahaha
hugs all
kath
i will need strength for that, but it isnt until feb so have some time to work up to it haha
mmm let me see for husband, i got him a voucher to refill his air tanks for scuba diving. i asked for the unfilling vouchers, but they said there were none left, must have been a run on them from other wives hahahahahaha. actually the man said i sounded quite mean and that he was glad i didnt know his wife. i said give me her number. then he said, no lets have a beer to discuss it, haha i said that is exactly the sort of behaviour that will get you air tanks UNFILLED hahahaha
hugs all
kath
spirit
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: perth,western australia
Posts: 1,460
hey gianna, so good to see you mate, how have you been???
kckman, oh david burne haha, i am going to have to do some homework so i can be groovy on the day and say "hey cool i love these guys" rather than "oh now i remember" hahahaha
hugs to all
kath
kckman, oh david burne haha, i am going to have to do some homework so i can be groovy on the day and say "hey cool i love these guys" rather than "oh now i remember" hahahaha
hugs to all
kath
Member
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 763
hi everyone and merry christmas!
i have been reading but not typing here much because of my dislocated right elbow-three months ago today. rendered the right arm and hand totally useless. many hours of physical therapy later i am starting to get it back, but meanwhile i developed carpal tunnel in the left hand because of overuse. miss this place though, and i am looking forward to being back here more in the new year.
where's denise? laci? wiebe i have seen. and all my other friends? dq seems to be a whole new gang.
hugs, gianna
i have been reading but not typing here much because of my dislocated right elbow-three months ago today. rendered the right arm and hand totally useless. many hours of physical therapy later i am starting to get it back, but meanwhile i developed carpal tunnel in the left hand because of overuse. miss this place though, and i am looking forward to being back here more in the new year.
where's denise? laci? wiebe i have seen. and all my other friends? dq seems to be a whole new gang.
hugs, gianna
Platinum Member
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Central California
Posts: 859
:xmasb (((Gianna)))
Merry christmas to you too! Its nice to see you here. I'v missed you.
I heard from Denise the other day. She says to say hello to everyone, and that she misses you all. She's been going to Smart Recovery a lot to she if that can help her with her recovery. She's still hanging in there, and taking one day at a time. I think she could use some prayers tho.
I havent heard from our sister Laci, I hope she is ok and has a wonderful christmas.
Again its good to hear from you. Have a wonderful christmas and new years!
(((Big sisterly hugs)) Bonni :xmasq :xmasu
HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO EVERYONE!!
Merry christmas to you too! Its nice to see you here. I'v missed you.
I heard from Denise the other day. She says to say hello to everyone, and that she misses you all. She's been going to Smart Recovery a lot to she if that can help her with her recovery. She's still hanging in there, and taking one day at a time. I think she could use some prayers tho.
I havent heard from our sister Laci, I hope she is ok and has a wonderful christmas.
Again its good to hear from you. Have a wonderful christmas and new years!
(((Big sisterly hugs)) Bonni :xmasq :xmasu
HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO EVERYONE!!
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