Now what?

Old 12-08-2009, 06:19 PM
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Now what?

Pretty much all my physical withdrawal symptoms are gone. Now I'm left with actually facing and dealing with the things I covered up with alcohol. It's all coming out and is pretty raw. How on earth am I supposed to deal with this without taking a drink?!?!? This is where it all started in the first place. I'm 8 days sober and very proud of that, however facing all this crap really sucks!
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Old 12-08-2009, 06:24 PM
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It does suck, but it is what we must do. A friend on SR said we mentally stunted our growth by turning to alcohol and I have found that to be true. Instead of "learning" how to deal with our emotions, we numbed them and in recovery we start our growth process again. If you need help and face to face support then find a support group. I have had success with SR and continue to lean on it. Some people don't find SR enough.

You are changing your life and with change comes anxiety. Don't drink. You can do it.
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Old 12-08-2009, 06:26 PM
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Yes, it does suck, but there's no way around it, but to deal with it.

It's hard and we have a lot to learn. I had to learn to deal with my emotions and to get through the daily stuff that comes along.

Know that you can do this.
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Old 12-08-2009, 07:18 PM
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Facing the crap keeps me sober.

Welcome to SR. I'm glad you're here.
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Old 12-08-2009, 07:26 PM
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Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
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I use AA....and by living the Steps of the program
I've found a fantastic new life....

I remember you did go to a meeting or two.
Did you notice how many people there were
dealing with ???? and not useing alcohol?

Well done on your sober time..
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Old 12-08-2009, 08:23 PM
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It's hard for sure - but there's a lot of support here...and a lot more out there of the face to face variety...keep reaching out GG...and keep focused

You can do it
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Old 12-08-2009, 09:18 PM
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It's not easy, no.But what I found was-it was going to catch up with me eventually anyway and better to deal with it sober than in an alcoholic fog.We can only run for so long.

As others have said, keep posting and keep reaching out.There's a lot of support here for you.Welcome!
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Old 12-09-2009, 06:03 AM
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Welcome to SR. I too have a hard time dealing with the crap that had me drinking in the first place. I go to an addictions counselor once a week and that helps. SHe listens to me vent and offers ideas I hadn't thought of to deal with my problems. I am also on meds for depression and anxiety and they work a lot better if I'm not drinking, so that's incentive to stay sober.

Again, welcome to the family!
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Old 12-09-2009, 12:28 PM
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GG, congrats on the 8 days! Trust me, I know it's a huge deal.

Ahh, to deal with our issues when they stop drowning in alcohol and start clawing their way back into our lives. I totally agree with Jules. We're gonna have to deal with them sometime, might as well do it sooner than later, right? Something that I realized a few years ago was that on top of drinking to smother all my supposed inner pain, I had also graduated into drinking because of my . . . drinking. LMAO. Man that seemed stupid. I lost lots of years and opportunities because of my alcohol abuse and that started piling on top of all the other crap I was trying to ignore. A coping mechanism shouldn't require it's own coping mechanism to uh, cope with?

The issues will bubble up. During my first few days, I'd find myself standing in the shower, crying my eyes out, screaming at my dad . . . lol . . . he lives over 2000 miles away so it's not as if he could hear me, and trust me, I thought I had neatly resolved those issues long ago . . . we have a great relationship now . . . It's been a little over a month for me now and I no longer wake in the middle of the night with desires to punch people I haven't seen in over a decade lol I think the more our cells detox our latent alcohol toxins, the cleaner our bodies and our thoughts become . . .

Wounds will open, they may bleed a little, but it's better to sew them up with a sound mind now than to just pour a little more alcohol on them in an effort to attempt to keep them clean for a little while longer . . . Did that analogy make any sense whatsoever??

Good luck GG. I'd love to say it gets easier, but I'm just starting my journey as well, and I'm sure there will be many rocky roads that lie ahead . . . Know that you are not alone. We are all here to support each other. I know exactly how you feel . . . there is a lot buried deep down there, but I'm keeping faith that it will feel like a much lighter load once I get it all purged and dealt with in an orderly manner.

Be well sweetheart! Stay sane and sober. Much peace and wellness to you always. If it helps, my first two weeks were the freaking hardest. Feels like sailing on only choppy waters now as opposed to navigating through a hurricane . . . There is calmness ahead. This I know.
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Old 12-09-2009, 01:12 PM
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Hi GG! You're so right when you say 'this is where it all started in the first place'. Getting numb was never the answer, but I did it almost my whole life. When I got sober I felt like a bear coming out of his cave - the sun was blinding! Reality - what a concept.

Life is a series of unpredictable events. We can't go around them - we have to go through them. I successfully avoided growing up and facing life for many years, but when I sobered up all the stuff I'd been running from was waiting there to greet me. To drink to avoid confronting it just burdens us more, down the line. Today, I deal with things as they come up. I can't believe the stuff I found so overwhelming now can be handled just by taking charge and doing something about it instead of procrastinating. Who knew?

Thanks for an interesting topic. Let us know how it's going for you.
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Old 12-09-2009, 01:22 PM
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Ask yourself if the problems that are now presenting themselves will go away/improve if you take a drink? I am guessing they will still be there. You can deal with them much more effectively if you are sober while addressing them. Remember, when an ostrich sticks his head in the sand, what is sticking in the air and exposed?

Best of luck to you!
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Old 12-09-2009, 10:09 PM
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Yes, I know. The advice to start a program of recovery is a good one.

Abstinence is not drinking and feeling bad about it.
Recovery is not drinking and feeling good about it.

Now that you are sober, you need to focus on building the life coping tools that you used alcohol previously to avoid.

You can do it! Congrats on 8 days.
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Old 12-10-2009, 03:00 AM
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Pretty much all my physical withdrawal symptoms are gone. Now I'm left with actually facing and dealing with the things I covered up with alcohol. It's all coming out and is pretty raw. How on earth am I supposed to deal with this without taking a drink?!?!?
Oh yes, I can sure relate to that! When I came out of detox sober reality slapped me right in the face! It was like a gorilla was on me and at that time the only solution I had for living life was drinking, but at this point I also knew that if I started to drink again it would kill me eventually, I had to find a different solution that did not involve drinking.

In detox they told us that if we wanted a chance at long term sobriety we should go to at least 90 AA meetings in 90 days and get a sponsor.

Well the day I got out of detox I had to make a decision...... get drunk or find a different solution! They suggested AA and I did AA.

I had drank for 40 years and the last 5 years of my drinking I doubt if I drew a sober breath, I did not have a clue in how to live life on lifes terms without being drunk.

When I went to AA there were people there who at one time had been just like me, they had found a solution for their problems and had a twinkle in their eyes and a skip to thier step, they had self confidence and were sober.. The best thing about these folks is their favorite thing to do was to share with folks like me the solution they had found and how they dealt with life sober!!!!

Heck there is even a chapter in the book Alcoholics Anonymous called "There is a Solution"

Why face all this caca alone? Why not check out a few AA meetings and talk to folks who have found a solution like I and millions of others have. What do you have to lose?
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