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New and terrified!

Old 11-02-2009, 01:39 PM
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New and terrified!

Hi everyone,

I've been "lurking" a bit and reading your posts for the last few days and I feel it's time to jump in and hopefully get some support. I'm to the point where my drinking is out of control, and it's got to stop.

I'm 31 years old, and I've been a wine drinker for about 6 years. Long story short, about 3-4 years ago it became a daily thing. Then it was a daily bottle of wine thing, and recently it's become a daily bottle and a half thing. I can probably count the amount of days I didn't drink wine in the past year on one hand. I've been in denial that there's a problem for a looong time. I'm happily married, fully functional and great at my job, never missed work from drinking (but am hungover most of the time), and I've never gotten into real "trouble" from my drinking. I guess you could say I have gotten pretty good at keeping my "secret".

So today is day one, and it terrifies me. I'm keeping myself busy tonight, so I'm not worried that I'll drink today, but getting through the next week, or even the next 2 days without wine scares the heck out of me! It's not even that I crave it, it's just gotten to be such a habit that I feel uncomfortable without it. I don't even think about it during the day, but when 6:00 rolls around I panic when there's not a full wine glass in my hand.

I'm sorry for the rambling. I just thought this would be a good place to come for support. I look forward to hearing about your stories and hearing any good methods for survival.

Thanks,
Penny
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Old 11-02-2009, 01:47 PM
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Welcome Penny!! I can totally relate to every word you have written and it is best if you nip in the bud now. I went too long and although I didn't have the stereotypical losses, I KNOW it would have happened and was only a matter of time. Alcoholism is a progressive disease. I was drinking the boxed wine and was drinking alot, but I started with the bottles and then progressed.

You can do it Penny. SR is full of information and helpful people too. Let us know if you need help tomorrow or even today. Post away if the urge hits and you need help moving through the moment.

Edit: Saw your last part and don't ever apologize for rambling around here. We are great ramblers.
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Old 11-02-2009, 01:51 PM
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Welcome Penny!
Yup, your story was my story as well.
It is going to be uncomfortable for a bit. Do you have a plan in place? Are you planning on working a recovery program or just gonna white knuckle it?
We are here for you, no matter how you decide to get sober. But I will offer that it is MUCH less painful if you have face to face support from folks who have been through it.
Keep posting and let us know how you are doing!
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Old 11-02-2009, 02:04 PM
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Thanks for sharing with us.....

Welcome to our recovery community


Try this....get a different type of glass.mug/cup
put juice or water or Gatorade in it to sip on.
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Old 11-02-2009, 02:11 PM
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Hi Penny,

We're very similar in age and situation. It's best to stop now, as I am sure you can see it gets more and more as time goes on. Just get through today and get some kind of support if you can.

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Old 11-02-2009, 02:12 PM
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Here's a good method for survival. Go to some AA meetings. You may want to try a Woman's Only meeting first if that would make you feel more comfortable. Just remember that AA meetings are like anything else in this world. Some stink and some are great. Find the great ones. Call the aa number in the phone book. It's manned 24/7 and they'll direct you to the closest meeting. And please don't say AA's not for you until you've tried it for while.
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Old 11-02-2009, 02:18 PM
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Thank you all so much for your support. I'd never say that AA isn't for me. I'm going to see what I can do this first week and possibly try AA if it continues to be a struggle. That probably sounds lame...of course it will be a struggle!

Thanks again for your replies. It's so nice to know that I'm not alone. And I like the idea of sipping gatorade or another soft drink out of a different glass. Sometimes I do think it's like a routine just to have the glass full, so I'll definitely try that.

I need to keep reminding myself of the good this will do for my health and relationships. No more hangovers at work. No more arguments with my husband that I can't remember the next day. No more constant dehydration. No more (or at least less) empty calories! And probably so many other health reasons I'm not aware of.

Thanks again.
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Old 11-02-2009, 02:50 PM
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Hi Penny,

I'm glad you found us and are seeking support.

I find that changing my daily routine helped me a lot in the early days. I would normally start drinking right after supper, so I started to go for long walks, and that helped me on so many levels. It was also a trigger for me to drink when I was home alone, so I prepared myself to be going out, calling someone or doing something to take my mind off the normal routine.
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Old 11-02-2009, 02:52 PM
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Old 11-02-2009, 04:31 PM
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Hi Penny

As you can see there's a lot of help and support here. I think most of us have been where you are. You're not alone.

Welcome
D
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Old 11-02-2009, 04:56 PM
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Welcome!!!
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Old 11-02-2009, 05:50 PM
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Welcome! My story is similar to yours and it continued that way for awhile - I kept saying I would slow down, quit, that I was still young, things were good.. my friends are worse, etc.

But then finally, at 39, I decided to stop... and now I am over 30 days and it is so much better than before. Give it a shot - you can do it!!

You have lots of support.
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Old 11-02-2009, 05:57 PM
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Welcome! Habits are hard to break. In addition to a soft drink, try some energy drinks during the day. I have found them very helpful to keep me focused on what I need to do. :-)
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Old 11-02-2009, 06:08 PM
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Hi Penny and welcome. I personally don't know of anyone, or even heard of anyone that doesn't really struggle at first. There are some really good suggestions here...and one of my favorite sayings, take what you need and leave the rest. Believe me, it does get easier, but it's really helpful to get someone with some sober time under their belt to help you...they will understand. This Thursday, the 5th, I will have 6years clean time, and if I can do it, so can anyone else. :ghug3
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Old 11-03-2009, 02:54 AM
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Welcome to SR

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Old 11-03-2009, 03:35 AM
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Welcome to SR Penny :day6
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Old 11-03-2009, 03:37 AM
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Welcome to SR Penny, you have gooten some great suggestions, remain open minded to try things you have not tried before, be willing to do what ever it takes to stay sober, and most importantly of all.... STAY HONEST!!!! Brutally honest with your self and politely honest with others.
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Old 11-03-2009, 07:52 AM
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Thanks again, wow, this support is awesome! I made it through yesterday just fine, mainly because I went to a cooking class right after work and didn't come home until 10:00. By that time I was just wiped out and not even thinking about drinking.

I agree with you, Anna. Being home alone definitely triggers it, as well as cooking dinner. So now I'll talk a walk after eating (probably won't cook for awhile, even though I love it) and just keep myself busy as much as I can during the week.

I look forward to getting to know all of you!

Penny
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