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Women and Wine...

Old 10-31-2009, 10:07 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
The New Me starting 1/11/09
 
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When our friends and family don't know the extent of our drinking and we are perhaps not having all of the symptoms of how they define alcoholism, we don't often get the responses and support from our family that we expect.

Unfortunately, these responses feed that little voice in our head that says "hey, so if they don't think I am an alcoholic, then I probably am just over-reacting... I must not be an alcoholic."

For me the simple test is that normies (non-A's) don't worry that they are A's.

Stop drinking for you - not for anyone else. Glad you are here.

ME
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Old 10-31-2009, 10:23 AM
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You dumped the cigs too? I think you're my hero. I have that sceduled for Thanksgiving so BF and I can do that together. I'm about 40 days sober. Mine was mostly wine too. It gets easier. You watch the trigger come and watch it go, takes only a few minutes for the urge to pass. Celebrate your decision and yourself for making it.
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Old 10-31-2009, 11:19 AM
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Thanks so much for keeping my post going! Day 3..

Thanks for keeping my wino post going...I am hear today to say day 3! no smokes, no wine, no coffee. All three are triggers for one or another. If I have coffee in the morning, I get hyped up through the day and it triggers my need for wine by 4pm. I can't have a smoke with out the coffee or the wine...so I guess they all have to go.

Last night, me and my daughter went to the mall. I haven't done that in years. My wine WAS my nightly activity. We had fun and spent to much money. It felt good to get up this morning without the fuzzy wine head.

I had my coffee/smoke craving this morning...so I am on hear killing my craving by talking about it instead.

Thanks for helping me one day at a time.

DIVA
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Old 10-31-2009, 10:34 PM
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Day 2 for me too

Tonight is also my second night without wine. I was up to a bottle a night, every night. The longest I've ever gone without drinking was 3 days.

I was fine all day, didn't need alcohol as long as I was at work, but the moment I got home I started drinking. And on weekends I'd do my housework while sipping wine.

This is my first post, and I'm a little nervous to do it because I've never "chatted" before.
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Old 10-31-2009, 10:40 PM
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Hey Thursday night... welcome to SR. Occupying your time is a great way to stay away from drinking, but sooner or later you will have some down time temptation. Feel free to stick around, keep posting. Start another thread if you want give us a bit more background. Its great to see you reaching out for support, its necessary to a healthy recovery. It gets better...
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Old 10-31-2009, 10:40 PM
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Thursdaynight,

Welcome! You'll find lots of information and support here. I was also a wine lover. Sobriety rocks!

Love,

Lenina
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Old 11-01-2009, 11:18 AM
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Hi Thursday Night. You sound similar to me. I was drinking 1-2 bottles every couple of days. It scared me when I started on bottle 3 after 6 hours of drinking. Or I would substitute it with Vodka to pump up my drunk. I would have a nice glass of wine at 4:30pm with a smoke...by glass three I was ready to pick up my next bottle. One bottle had no effect (the drunk feel) on me. It just changed my thinking, loss of control mentally do stupid things like Drive!

I started a journal to understand what would set me off. Axienty due to work and procrastination of a task I couldn't face. Whether it was my family budget, messy house, client problems, kids issues. It was all of the above that was setting me off. While I was still drinking, I started reducing my volunteer activities. The only job I should be doing it the one that pays my bills. Client issues are their issues not mine. My kids are big now...they can help out. I just need to let stuff roll off my shoulder. I think back to my non-drinking days and what I did. I had structure and fun. I went to the gym, made plans for fun things with the kids on the weekends and didn't worry so much about money...even if I didn't have lots of it. I say NO to anything uncomfortable. That's what I am doing again...go to the gym, take the dog out, sleep lots, sleep more, make plans to have some fun again. Day 4 and I can still feel the hellish addition hold on me. The wine calls my name every night. I just had a craving for a smoke...here I am writing my feelings until the moment passess.

So Thursnights...it really comes down with finding something else to do. If your addition was only 1 bottle you are lucky...don't wait until you get to 2 or 3 bottles. Keep posting to SR and tell me about your wine stories. Talking about it helps.
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Old 11-02-2009, 03:54 PM
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Ahhh...one of those days. Day 4 - the work stress has me thinking old patterns. Need to get through this. Will drink tea...calming tea... watch tv...distraction required.
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Old 11-03-2009, 10:14 AM
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Day 5 of no Wine!

I think this has become my personal journal thread. I am on day 5 on being sober. So far it hasn't been to bad. I keep my self busy and I read on alcholism to keep me grounded as to why I am NOT drinking.

I did talk to a friend of mine yesterday about my reasons for drinking and she wasn't all that supportive. She told me to just cut back...haha easier said than done. As we know we can't just have one or two wines...it just keeps going until we run out or pass out (most times). Granted I believe she might have a problem with wine herself. Whatever, I am doing it for me.

I love that I feel so focused during the day and not guilty and hungover. So on with my day 5.
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Old 11-03-2009, 10:43 AM
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Congratulations on day 5. You go girl!

When I think back to how much wine I drank, it is quite scary. I, too, was at least a bottle a night. Usually 1 and a half bottles.

Normal people drink like, one glass or so.
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Old 11-03-2009, 11:06 AM
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Congratulations!!!

I think its hard for "normal" people to understand why we can't drink. I still have my husband telling me to just not drink what he has in the fridge. So far I haven't but it would be a lot easier if it wasn't there.
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Old 11-03-2009, 03:57 PM
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good for you, partydiva!!!

keep on doing what's good for you.

it does feel good to wake up in the morning feeling proud of what i DIDN'T do last night.

9 days for me.

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Old 11-03-2009, 05:44 PM
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Bravo! Totally can relate to your struggles and the non-supportive folk who just say "just have one". Ha is right! Day 18 for me - seems unbelievable. Aiming to stay in the present and not "catastrophize" looking at the future. Not always easy - my mind leaps ahead to some future "event" w/family or friends and how awful it would be not to drink....I have to steer my mind away just as soon as those images pass into my head. T'aint easy at times!
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Old 11-04-2009, 07:03 AM
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Made it to Day 6 - one foot in front of another...I was at a meeting last night in an alcoholic environment. On the way to the meeting , little man in my head was "its ok to have just one", "just don't drink at home", all the rationales I could think of. Remembering that our brain is fantastic, I reversed my conversation in my head to "don't have one tonight", "never drink at home for the kids sake", "doesn't it feel good to have the power to say NO". I arrived at my meeting in the right mindset...it worked, had a great meeting, felt encouraged, calm, my esteem was increased, I have the WOMAN POWER! I came home...watched tv and only slept 5 hours. I talked to my herbalist and she recommended not having coffee, but to drink Gandoderma coffee or hotchoclate. I ordered 2 boxes on the spot. I am having one right now. Check out Gandoderma...amazing healing properties.
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Old 11-04-2009, 10:09 AM
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Congrats on 6 days!
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