I had two glasses... then walked away
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: in France
Posts: 393
Hi Hopeful 
Have you tried the site "Down your drink"? -google it and you'll find it easily.
It's a research programme to see if it is possible to reduce how much a person drinks.
I tried it and it worked for me-for a while and then I went off the rails again.
However if you want to give it a try then do.
You follow a sort of education programme and you have to type in how much and exactly what you drink everyday. You can clearly see if you're making progress or not -and of course being honest about how much you drink can be quite embarrassing!
Anyway I learnt a lot of interesting things on it -like that it's a misconception to think that everyone drinks everyday. The statistics are pretty interesting.
It also says clearly on the site that if you don't succeed abstinence really is the only answer.
Have you tried the site "Down your drink"? -google it and you'll find it easily.
It's a research programme to see if it is possible to reduce how much a person drinks.
I tried it and it worked for me-for a while and then I went off the rails again.
However if you want to give it a try then do.
You follow a sort of education programme and you have to type in how much and exactly what you drink everyday. You can clearly see if you're making progress or not -and of course being honest about how much you drink can be quite embarrassing!
Anyway I learnt a lot of interesting things on it -like that it's a misconception to think that everyone drinks everyday. The statistics are pretty interesting.
It also says clearly on the site that if you don't succeed abstinence really is the only answer.
Focus
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Washington DC
Posts: 206
Originally Posted by NEOMARXIST 
I don't see the point in this post. No offence meant or anything.
I come to SR because I know that I am an alcoholic at the age of 23. Like TommyK says millions of people do this, fairplay to them.
I cannot do this or allow myself to start even considering that I can because I am an alcoholic.
If you can do this successfully then I don't see you really need to be posting on SR anymore. Why not try posting on some wine Coneiseurs forums or something?
I come to SR because I know that I am an alcoholic at the age of 23. Like TommyK says millions of people do this, fairplay to them.
I cannot do this or allow myself to start even considering that I can because I am an alcoholic.
If you can do this successfully then I don't see you really need to be posting on SR anymore. Why not try posting on some wine Coneiseurs forums or something?
What I have noticed here is that many people seem to live by 1 theory:
Life is better without alcohol than it is with it.... no matter what. No harm can be done without that filled glass in front of you.
I appreciate all responses... but some people have more extensive problems than others and if someone can moderate their drinking... it CAN BE healthy (as is FAIRLY well documented... always some articles to refute... that is true in all research). I can't do this well personally either... but if someone can... there may be no harm done.
Not EVERYONE's life is better without alcohol. This is really only true if you regularly abuse alcohol, are an alcoholic, on certain medications, have negative consequences, have certain illnesses, hospitalizations, pregnancies, people with diabetes (link found between diabetes and a promotion of cardiovascular risks in this population) are a smoker etc. (yeah long list we all know). (and of course hypertension and many other disorders are linked to too much alcohol so that isn't good either).
I have an MS degree... I worked years in clinical research at a hospital after, have a bunch of scientific publications. Probably others on this forum have to. This isn't to list my qualifications.. don't misunderstand... this is to elaborate on the fact that these scientific findings (even re: alcohol) that have been published aren't 'hogwash' IF YOU CAN DRINK RESPONSIBLY AND MODERATELY. These are legit publications that have mounting evidence to back and support them.
It is more that too much of anything is detrimental to your health, to your social well-being and to your life in general. Only you can determine what is best for you... but if Laura actually CAN do this... it isn't a bad thing. It is only bad if she can't control (drink moderately ie: 1 drink/day for a woman) it and doesn't stop.
I AM NO EXPERT... Just had to share my thoughts on this. I think Laura has every right to post here. She too is trying to figure this out!
Guest
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
I do not wish to get into any arguments here. That is not why I post here.
However the name of this website is "Sober Recovery"
I posted what I posted because I am an alcoholic and like many who post here, who are alcoholics/addicts, the hardest part of the condition is that your mind will scream and scream at you that you are not really an alcoholic/addict and that you will be just fine to have 1 or two like the millions of others.
Posts like the OP's are fine, as it is a learning experience, but if the OP wishes to continue with moderated drinking that is their decision but I do not see the need to be posting at "Sober recovery" if this is the case. When reading posts such as these, a part of my mind (and I'm sure many others), says to me why don't you give it a try? I cannot afford to even consider it. I have many,many,many times unsuccessfully.
"Life is better without alcohol than it is with it"
Damn right it is. I do not wish to talk about what I have done in my private life and past, though I am certainly not a Bum and was extremely successfull throughout education and higher education, though this is irrelvant IMO. I am no different to any other alcoholic in that I am an alcoholic.
I wish to stop drinking before it completely destroys me and everything in my life. It is only recently I have truly admitted I am an alcoholic, I was previously reffering to me as a "alcohol abuser/wreckhead/drink probem etcetcetc" wanting alcohol to remain a part of my life at any cost etcetc I had the same thoughts as you about people on here and consequently went out drinking again a few times before returning and realising total abstinance is the only way for me.
I can see a great future for myself which is happy and filled with peace/serenity and that I am livilng the life and being the person that I know that I can/deserve to be.
However if I was to continue drinking (I am only a heavy weekend binge-drinker too) then I do not have a future, as booze will absolutley desolate me and everything thats good in my life. I am not stupid and have the foresight to be able to see that it is a progressive "condition" and will only get worse and take you down lower and lower untill you have nothing left to live for other than that next drink. I never wish to get there, though at times my alcoholic mind trys to tell me that it wouldn't be that bad if I was homeless and could do nothing but drink all day long. How sick is that?!!!!!!!!
I'm sorry if my post came across as a little harsh. It is just that what I have learned through bitter experience and terrible emotional pain and suffering, inflicted not only on myself but the people who I dearly love, is that moderation or the mere thought of moderation will only end up one way for me, and that is BAD. I have found that the only way to avoid all of the emotional/social problems caused by drinking alcohol is to not take that first drink. it just takes a lot of time and deep-deep-thinking about things to truly grasp that concept and accept it.
No worries, NEOMARXIST.
However the name of this website is "Sober Recovery"
I posted what I posted because I am an alcoholic and like many who post here, who are alcoholics/addicts, the hardest part of the condition is that your mind will scream and scream at you that you are not really an alcoholic/addict and that you will be just fine to have 1 or two like the millions of others.
Posts like the OP's are fine, as it is a learning experience, but if the OP wishes to continue with moderated drinking that is their decision but I do not see the need to be posting at "Sober recovery" if this is the case. When reading posts such as these, a part of my mind (and I'm sure many others), says to me why don't you give it a try? I cannot afford to even consider it. I have many,many,many times unsuccessfully.
"Life is better without alcohol than it is with it"
Damn right it is. I do not wish to talk about what I have done in my private life and past, though I am certainly not a Bum and was extremely successfull throughout education and higher education, though this is irrelvant IMO. I am no different to any other alcoholic in that I am an alcoholic.
I wish to stop drinking before it completely destroys me and everything in my life. It is only recently I have truly admitted I am an alcoholic, I was previously reffering to me as a "alcohol abuser/wreckhead/drink probem etcetcetc" wanting alcohol to remain a part of my life at any cost etcetc I had the same thoughts as you about people on here and consequently went out drinking again a few times before returning and realising total abstinance is the only way for me.
I can see a great future for myself which is happy and filled with peace/serenity and that I am livilng the life and being the person that I know that I can/deserve to be.
However if I was to continue drinking (I am only a heavy weekend binge-drinker too) then I do not have a future, as booze will absolutley desolate me and everything thats good in my life. I am not stupid and have the foresight to be able to see that it is a progressive "condition" and will only get worse and take you down lower and lower untill you have nothing left to live for other than that next drink. I never wish to get there, though at times my alcoholic mind trys to tell me that it wouldn't be that bad if I was homeless and could do nothing but drink all day long. How sick is that?!!!!!!!!
I'm sorry if my post came across as a little harsh. It is just that what I have learned through bitter experience and terrible emotional pain and suffering, inflicted not only on myself but the people who I dearly love, is that moderation or the mere thought of moderation will only end up one way for me, and that is BAD. I have found that the only way to avoid all of the emotional/social problems caused by drinking alcohol is to not take that first drink. it just takes a lot of time and deep-deep-thinking about things to truly grasp that concept and accept it.
No worries, NEOMARXIST.
Focus
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Washington DC
Posts: 206
Neo... I understand and sympathize with you... totally. I hope I didn't come across any differently as I am above no one here... or anywhere else for that matter.
Fact is this... you have tried Laura's experiment... I have too (though I like to think I just haven't tried hard enough We have failed. This is her first time trying and has been successful.
What a wonderful thing if she wouldn't have to post in this forum anymore... for her... Until she figures out for sure though, shouldn't she stay?
Maybe the diff bt you and me is that I don't think she is bragging about her ability to control drinking. I think she is just being honest... no harm in that... if there is to you, maybe avoid posts titled like this?
I wish you all the best...and you are right... for you... and for me alcohol is NOT the best thing. Good luck to you Neo. I like you and your sincerity.
Fact is this... you have tried Laura's experiment... I have too (though I like to think I just haven't tried hard enough
We have failed. This is her first time trying and has been successful.What a wonderful thing if she wouldn't have to post in this forum anymore... for her... Until she figures out for sure though, shouldn't she stay?
Maybe the diff bt you and me is that I don't think she is bragging about her ability to control drinking. I think she is just being honest... no harm in that... if there is to you, maybe avoid posts titled like this?
I wish you all the best...and you are right... for you... and for me alcohol is NOT the best thing.
Good luck to you Neo. I like you and your sincerity.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: SE and then South some more
Posts: 2,648
It is only recently I have truly admitted I am an alcoholic, I was previously reffering to me as a "alcohol abuser/wreckhead/drink probem etcetcetc" wanting alcohol to remain a part of my life at any cost etcetc I had the same thoughts as you about people on here and consequently went out drinking again a few times before returning and realising total abstinance is the only way for me.
It is just that what I have learned through bitter experience and terrible emotional pain and suffering, inflicted not only on myself but the people who I dearly love, is that moderation or the mere thought of moderation will only end up one way for me, and that is BAD. I have found that the only way to avoid all of the emotional/social problems caused by drinking alcohol is to not take that first drink. it just takes a lot of time and deep-deep-thinking about things to truly grasp that concept and accept it.
When reading posts such as these, a part of my mind (and I'm sure many others), says to me why don't you give it a try? I cannot afford to even consider it. I have many,many,many times unsuccessfully.
NEO, I think what your saying makes total sense but part of this whole process also starts with a lot of being in denial, justifying, rationalizing, explaining, "I'm different than everyone else".
The reason why I am posting in response to what you posted is because I wanted to get sober a looooooooooooong time ago and it was comments about how wrong I was and "how could she?" "doesn't she know what she's doing" a lot of backstabbing remarks that I heard that kept me from going back to the rooms. I choose not to push others away but rather tell them "good luck, let us know how it works for you and know that you are welcome back anytime."
Your point is totally valid but I would hate to see people leave this board because someone feels they don't have any validity. Just keeping it GREEN.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,947
I think time will tell if this is the right plan for me or not (the 1-2 drinks per week). I plan to go back to several days of total non-drinking this week and am very happy about that. I'm beginning to like it! It really is the way to live and it just feels great. That realization in itself is huge progress for me.
sound like a good plan or 'experiement' that you are doing. and you don't have to let any negative feedback here push you away.
in the official AA book, alcoholics anomonyous, the book says to practiced controled drinking.
and if you are not able to do it that you can look at that and look over your history some more and go from there.
it's possible that some people here will be 'triggered' from reading a post such as your first one in this thread...i must admit that i had a little pull towards a drink as i read it. for me though I would generally want 3 drinks immediately; not one, because i would want a buzz. i would want a happy buzz. but for me, the problem becomes that i then want more and more.
keep up the good work ... and let us know how you are doing if you want! i really appreciate your post
Guest
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Re-reading my initial post back it was a little harsh and I wrote it without giving it any time to reflect., I'm sorry for that and I didn't phrase properly what I meant when I said no need to write on SR anymore.
Everyone has equal right to post here. I was guilty of seeing your intital statement of "My goal is NOT toal abstinance" and it took me back to where I was a while back and brought up to the surface lots of that confusion that I felt back then and also a niggling doubt about my drinking. I am of the mindset that either you can drink booze or you can't. You are probably toally different to me in that you can be satisfied and leave it at 2 drinks. I wouldn't wan't to as I love the Buzz way too much and love that feeling when you can't help but smile/laugh to yourself about nothing in particular. See I'm fantasing now!! damit!!
It was a mistake to put the whole of my post in Bold text, so sorry about that, i don't wish to offend anyoone and I am a very sensitive person at heart.
I guess it is just that part of me that is like the small faces sang "all or Nothing"
peace and all the best x.
Everyone has equal right to post here. I was guilty of seeing your intital statement of "My goal is NOT toal abstinance" and it took me back to where I was a while back and brought up to the surface lots of that confusion that I felt back then and also a niggling doubt about my drinking. I am of the mindset that either you can drink booze or you can't. You are probably toally different to me in that you can be satisfied and leave it at 2 drinks. I wouldn't wan't to as I love the Buzz way too much and love that feeling when you can't help but smile/laugh to yourself about nothing in particular. See I'm fantasing now!! damit!!
It was a mistake to put the whole of my post in Bold text, so sorry about that, i don't wish to offend anyoone and I am a very sensitive person at heart.
I guess it is just that part of me that is like the small faces sang "all or Nothing"
peace and all the best x.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 111
Guys, thanks so much. I actually don't think I belong here and am trying to disable my account (as soon as I can figure out how to do that). Many,many of you have been very helpful here, so I want to thank you for that. I think there is another forum that may be more appropriate for me and I'm going to give it a try.
Best to you all.
Laura
Best to you all.
Laura
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
Im pretty sure you do belong here, and you will always be welcome back! For the sake of the friends you have made, leave your account active and pop in now and then with updates. It sucks when people just disappear and we never know if they are doing well or not.
Be well=)
Be well=)
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Indiana
Posts: 15
congratulations! yes, there are many things in your life that have helped you get to this point (God, SR, etc), but you need to realize that ultimately THE STRENGTH TO SAY "NO" CAME FROM INSIDE YOU!!!! YOU did it! YOU made that choice, not anyone else! thank you for sharing your inspriational story and remember that if times get rough again, we are still here!!
problem with authority
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 870
I like to think that anyone should feel free to share their ES&H with their struggles with drugs & alcohol. And if those struggles include moderation as a goal, who am I to argue with someone else's experience? I can only talk about what worked/didn't work for me.
I had a somewhat difficult time with the first proposition of A.A., in that I could usually, when I really wanted to or needed to, control the number of drinks I took...at the company christmas party, traveling in a strange country, after work with professional colleagues I didn't want to make a fool out of myself in front of.
What hit home for me was that I could not control and enjoy my drinking. I could do either one but not both at the same time.
"A drink" sounds terrible to me. "Two drinks" sounds like a big yawn. The number of drinks I want is "more"...that's not a moral state or an ethical flaw, it's just how my body reacts. Other people don't react that way.
And when I am in the drinking company of non-alcoholics, I go into a state of cognitive dissonance...what seems natural to me is looked down upon by others, so I begin to lie, to sneak, to arrange things (by drinking at home, for example) so that I am not subject to those standards. I believe that's why some alcoholics develop a sense of shame, because we know that what is natural to us is looked on with scorn, as a behavioral defect, or poor choices.
I had a somewhat difficult time with the first proposition of A.A., in that I could usually, when I really wanted to or needed to, control the number of drinks I took...at the company christmas party, traveling in a strange country, after work with professional colleagues I didn't want to make a fool out of myself in front of.
What hit home for me was that I could not control and enjoy my drinking. I could do either one but not both at the same time.
"A drink" sounds terrible to me. "Two drinks" sounds like a big yawn. The number of drinks I want is "more"...that's not a moral state or an ethical flaw, it's just how my body reacts. Other people don't react that way.
And when I am in the drinking company of non-alcoholics, I go into a state of cognitive dissonance...what seems natural to me is looked down upon by others, so I begin to lie, to sneak, to arrange things (by drinking at home, for example) so that I am not subject to those standards. I believe that's why some alcoholics develop a sense of shame, because we know that what is natural to us is looked on with scorn, as a behavioral defect, or poor choices.
Focus
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Washington DC
Posts: 206
Laura!!!! (real) How can you leave me?!!!! Please don't go!!!! We joined together...doesn't that make us like sisters or something?
Seriously though... I hope that if you need to stay here, you do... and if you don't well... I have to admit my envy on one topic.
A previous post... you said that you think "that wine would go great with this pasta"... my first thought was...bravo... I'd be saying:
That buzz would go great with this pasta... Now you feel you are ready to go and I want you to stay! But if you feel there is a better place for you, I wish you all the best.
Godspeed, (Fake Laura)
How can you leave me?!!!! Please don't go!!!! We joined together...doesn't that make us like sisters or something? Seriously though... I hope that if you need to stay here, you do... and if you don't well... I have to admit my envy on one topic.
A previous post... you said that you think "that wine would go great with this pasta"... my first thought was...bravo... I'd be saying:
That buzz would go great with this pasta... Now you feel you are ready to go and I want you to stay! But if you feel there is a better place for you, I wish you all the best.
Godspeed, (Fake Laura)
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Houston
Posts: 309
I just wanted to add something..."normal" drinkers usually don't have to obsess over just having two drinks.
A friend of mine went on a vacation with her family where meals/alcohol were all inclusive. (She's in the program and does not drink.) Her sister had one drink in the 5 total days they were there. She could just not fathom that. It was all payed for, yet her sister chose to have one stinkin' drink the entire time. So why did my friend obsess over the alcohol that was not being drunk while her sister thought nothing of it? My friend is an alcoholic.
Good luck and best wishes to you.
A friend of mine went on a vacation with her family where meals/alcohol were all inclusive. (She's in the program and does not drink.) Her sister had one drink in the 5 total days they were there. She could just not fathom that. It was all payed for, yet her sister chose to have one stinkin' drink the entire time. So why did my friend obsess over the alcohol that was not being drunk while her sister thought nothing of it? My friend is an alcoholic.
Good luck and best wishes to you.
Focus
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Washington DC
Posts: 206
Originally Posted by littlebluedog
I just wanted to add something..."normal" drinkers usually don't have to obsess over just having two drinks.
A friend of mine went on a vacation with her family where meals/alcohol were all inclusive. (She's in the program and does not drink.) Her sister had one drink in the 5 total days they were there. She could just not fathom that. It was all payed for, yet her sister chose to have one stinkin' drink the entire time. So why did my friend obsess over the alcohol that was not being drunk while her sister thought nothing of it? My friend is an alcoholic.
Good luck and best wishes to you.
A friend of mine went on a vacation with her family where meals/alcohol were all inclusive. (She's in the program and does not drink.) Her sister had one drink in the 5 total days they were there. She could just not fathom that. It was all payed for, yet her sister chose to have one stinkin' drink the entire time. So why did my friend obsess over the alcohol that was not being drunk while her sister thought nothing of it? My friend is an alcoholic.
Good luck and best wishes to you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Houston
Posts: 309
Let me add one of my infamous counter-arguments. Normal drinkers who are questioning if they have a problem (but possibly don't)... may obsess over 2 drinks to try to figure out the truth...whichever way it may fall.
If alcohol is affecting one in such a way that they have to question whether or not it's a problem, odds are they're an alcoholic/problem drinker. Jmho.
Either way, that story was my friend's experience only, but thought it was worth sharing.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
I think you're on a losing argument here K. I'd agree with LBD.
In the times when I was trying to control my drinking, my obsession with alcohol
actually got worse - I remember setting an alarm one night so I knew when I
could drink again according to my rules.
I just can't see anyone who didn't have a problem with alcohol - the so-called normal drinker - worrying like that.
D
In the times when I was trying to control my drinking, my obsession with alcohol
actually got worse - I remember setting an alarm one night so I knew when I
could drink again according to my rules.
I just can't see anyone who didn't have a problem with alcohol - the so-called normal drinker - worrying like that.
D
Focus
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Washington DC
Posts: 206
Wait a minute! ::points to self:: This 'normal' drinker questions and obsesses over such things all the time. Seriously though... does every hypochondriac who thinks they have/ obsesses over sarcoidosis really have sarcoidosis?
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