I had two glasses... then walked away
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,279
Originally Posted by lauraandersen4 
But fact of the matter is... Laura may just be... gasp... A normal drinker :-O
When Larua came here & posted her story two weeks ago she admitted to having problems with alcohol & people shared their input, support & opinions based on their knowledge & experience.
People don't come to sober recovery forums to discuss which beer, wine or booze is best... they come because they think or know that they have a problem. Everyone's intention is to help others here, Laura either has a problem with her drinking or not its that simple... I hope she doesn't have a problem.
Based on her fist post Laura has a problem with alcohol, if she is better two weeks later then fantastic!, I lift my cup of iced tea to you/her.
Hopeful/Laura, please keep up with the moderation plan... I support you. There are only one of two results that come from it & you need to know which one it is:
1) You don't have a problem & can have one or two glasses whenever you like & stop when you want.
2) You do have a problem & cant have just one or two & tend to over drink.
After this comes acceptance or denial of the problem (this is the big one for most ;-)
If I could snap my fingers & make it so that I was the only alcoholic on earth I would do it... hold on I will try {snap} does everyone feel better now? :ghug3
I put together a moderation chart for a fellow new comer that wanted to test moderation recently, I will also put one together for you Hopeful/Laura. Would you like to honestly go through the moderation process for a month or two? I would be more than happy to do it with you & track the results for you. The key is complete honesty. Let me know.
Take Care,
NB
(I will quote her first post here for reference in a second)
Here is her fist post, please don't tell me that you don't see someone struggling with alcohol after reading this... I will be very concerned for you ;-)
Originally Posted by hopeful999
Hi... I have been struggling with alcohol for the past few years, following my divorce at the age of 43. The stress of life and 3 kids led me to start drinking wine ... at first I had it under control. It was a nice transition after a rough day. However, slowly but surely, it got out of control. I could seldom stop at a half bottle of wine and needed to drink the whole thing. I did this on the average of 3-4 times per week and always felt like crap in the morning. I knew it was only me poisoning myself and I wanted so badly to stop. Today I feel the strength to try again... it is day 1 of sobriety! This website seems great and like a life saver. I know I need to save my life before I get any worse. Alcoholism is a horrible thing. I am also trying some counseling, hypnosis CDs and reading books to stop drinking. I want to feel good again and I want my life back. I like feeling like I'm not alone in my struggle!
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
you know whats funny fake laura? By the AA definition, I'm not sure to this day whether I am an alcoholic. I vowed to never get drink again because I am capable of hideous, unspeakable acts while under the control of alcohol ( I go beyond under the influence haha). There are too many factors to how much alcohol gets you hammered, so the only way I know to avoid ever letting alcohol control me again, is not to drink it at all.
Without meetings, without AA, I have managed 6 months off booze. I like it, I mean, I really like it! I drank for 28 years, now I really like being a non drinker. And even though I don't know if I am technically an alcoholic, the people here on SR have done absolutely magical things for me, and I am eternally grateful.
So keep reading real laura, I'm glad your back. You may learn a thing or two about how to have a more peaceful life regardless of how your experiment turns out.
Without meetings, without AA, I have managed 6 months off booze. I like it, I mean, I really like it! I drank for 28 years, now I really like being a non drinker. And even though I don't know if I am technically an alcoholic, the people here on SR have done absolutely magical things for me, and I am eternally grateful.
So keep reading real laura, I'm glad your back. You may learn a thing or two about how to have a more peaceful life regardless of how your experiment turns out.
I got nothin'
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
In my opinion, no one stumbles onto this site by mistake. I've already said this before today in another thread. Anyone "googling" or whatever and landing here is because he/she or someone in his/her life is most likely an addict...and at the very least dealing with problems.
Laura, you are most definetly welcome here. Stick close to your contacts and please do not hesitate with updates.
I wish you well on your journey.
Laura, you are most definetly welcome here. Stick close to your contacts and please do not hesitate with updates.
I wish you well on your journey.
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,262
I hope this thread is finally over, and I think it's only fitting that I finish it off since I kicked it off (albeit with a different name 
Though it was incredibly painful for me, I think it was a good thing for me to open up here about my trying to do this social drinking thing. If I hadn't, I would be living a lie on here. You might all thing I had x days of sobriety behind me, etc. and it would be really awkward always dancing around that when posting here. Now it's out in the open and the pressure is off me in that regard (i.e. not having to lie, etc.) I have always felt honesty is the best policy (how cliche is that), but in this case, I also think it holds true. Now you all know me as the one with a drinking problem (whether or not I'm alcoholic... I'm not even going to go there right now...) who has made a lot of progress in one month but just couldn't completely let go of the idea of drinking (at least for right now). So that's pretty accurate.
I don't have a crystal ball in front of me. I don't know what I will do next weekend. I don't know what I will do at my next social event that has alcohol. In some ways, I'm living day to day just like a lot of you here. I have made a commitment to not drink at home, not drink alone, and never go buy alcohol for myself. I am hanging onto the social drinking concept a bit longer, but I may decide what's the point as many of you have already figured out. I'm just not quite there yet.
I think there are lots of different people on this board. There are the ones who have recovered, truly recovered, and can give good advice to people. There are the ones who have made up their minds about what they want to do but are having trouble following through with it/sticking to it. And there is a third category of people who really haven't figured everything out yet. I fall into that group.
It occurred to me that I did probably the worst possible thing on a forum like this by saying that I am trying to drink socially. Nothing would be as bad as what I said this weekend. If I had said I got wasted, feel like crap and need help -- you would all be there to support me. If I had said, I did not drink and it was easy -- you all would have said Bravo! If I had said, I did not drink and it was hard, you would have given more congratulations. But I did something that reminds me of having my cake and trying to eat it too --- I'm trying to get rid of all the bad things about alcohol and keep the good, which is either selfish, silly or stubborn, I don't know. Nothing could be as inflammatory as what I said on Saturday night (except maybe insulting someone or being mean, but I'm just not like that
So I did the worst damage I could ever do here and the rest should be easier. I am looking at another forum just to get alternative views, however I still don't know the people as well as I know all of you. It takes time. Has it only been one month that I have been on here???
One other thing that occurred to me tonight, and for this I am really happy. Putting aside the issue of social drinking for a minute if you can, I have had 12 days straight without a hangover. Now that may not sound so amazing, but to me it truly is. I have not been able to do anything even coming close to that over the last two years.
Well, onto the next post and thanks for all the support.
Laura
Though it was incredibly painful for me, I think it was a good thing for me to open up here about my trying to do this social drinking thing. If I hadn't, I would be living a lie on here. You might all thing I had x days of sobriety behind me, etc. and it would be really awkward always dancing around that when posting here. Now it's out in the open and the pressure is off me in that regard (i.e. not having to lie, etc.) I have always felt honesty is the best policy (how cliche is that), but in this case, I also think it holds true. Now you all know me as the one with a drinking problem (whether or not I'm alcoholic... I'm not even going to go there right now...) who has made a lot of progress in one month but just couldn't completely let go of the idea of drinking (at least for right now). So that's pretty accurate.
I don't have a crystal ball in front of me. I don't know what I will do next weekend. I don't know what I will do at my next social event that has alcohol. In some ways, I'm living day to day just like a lot of you here. I have made a commitment to not drink at home, not drink alone, and never go buy alcohol for myself. I am hanging onto the social drinking concept a bit longer, but I may decide what's the point as many of you have already figured out. I'm just not quite there yet.
I think there are lots of different people on this board. There are the ones who have recovered, truly recovered, and can give good advice to people. There are the ones who have made up their minds about what they want to do but are having trouble following through with it/sticking to it. And there is a third category of people who really haven't figured everything out yet. I fall into that group.
It occurred to me that I did probably the worst possible thing on a forum like this by saying that I am trying to drink socially. Nothing would be as bad as what I said this weekend. If I had said I got wasted, feel like crap and need help -- you would all be there to support me. If I had said, I did not drink and it was easy -- you all would have said Bravo! If I had said, I did not drink and it was hard, you would have given more congratulations. But I did something that reminds me of having my cake and trying to eat it too --- I'm trying to get rid of all the bad things about alcohol and keep the good, which is either selfish, silly or stubborn, I don't know. Nothing could be as inflammatory as what I said on Saturday night (except maybe insulting someone or being mean, but I'm just not like that
So I did the worst damage I could ever do here and the rest should be easier. I am looking at another forum just to get alternative views, however I still don't know the people as well as I know all of you. It takes time. Has it only been one month that I have been on here???One other thing that occurred to me tonight, and for this I am really happy. Putting aside the issue of social drinking for a minute if you can, I have had 12 days straight without a hangover. Now that may not sound so amazing, but to me it truly is. I have not been able to do anything even coming close to that over the last two years.
Well, onto the next post and thanks for all the support.
Laura
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
I may not always agree with you Laura but I appreciate your honesty - especially when it got you into bother, and you stayed honest anyway.
I hope, whatever happens, you find what you're looking for.
D
I hope, whatever happens, you find what you're looking for.
D
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
Im so confused>< Are both real and fake laura still drinking and not maybe liking the forums?
cause now we have 3 lauras, one with 2 accounts and I have no idea if any of them wants to be sober or recover
cause now we have 3 lauras, one with 2 accounts and I have no idea if any of them wants to be sober or recover
Focus
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Washington DC
Posts: 206
Originally Posted by Gypsy Feet
Im so confused>< Are both real and fake laura still drinking and not maybe liking the forums?
cause now we have 3 lauras, one with 2 accounts and I have no idea if any of them wants to be sober or recover
cause now we have 3 lauras, one with 2 accounts and I have no idea if any of them wants to be sober or recover
To keep it lighter though... Part of my being offended revolves around someone in this forum not thinking I would be creative enough to come up with a better story from my imagination than the true one I reference in all my posts. Sigh.
I just hate being honest and getting it thrown back in my face as if I'm some sort of weirdo -- complete with "pity" and "saddness" about "my situation"... as if that is why I'm here
problem with authority
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 870
Poll: who is drunk right now?
I used to write some of the strangest things when I was drinking. Often I didn't even remember and would read it afresh the next day, horrified.
I sometimes forget now that others who are posting on here might be drunk.
I used to write some of the strangest things when I was drinking. Often I didn't even remember and would read it afresh the next day, horrified.
I sometimes forget now that others who are posting on here might be drunk.
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
look, for what its worth honey, lots of people here see sobriety as a life or death matter. For lots of people here it is. You are not the first, nor the fifth, not even the tenth person I have seen come in here to "peak". There is nothing wrong with that in my book, as a matter of fact, I have read a couple of books dealing with the stages of recovery, and contemplation comes before quitting. The thing to try and remember (although I know its hard when emotions are running high), is that these people wouldn't post if they didn't care. No one can tell you you don't belong. Even IF these 2 Laura threads may be dangerous for some newly sober, they are eye opening for others.
Most people here believe that alcohol has your ear. These people really want to see alcoholics get well. As unhelpful as this forum may seem in helping people who decide to moderate or stay drunk, it is extremely helpful to people who decide to quit. The lights are always on.
Irish: Don't assume any of us are drunk, you just have to be following 2 threads and three Lauras to know whats going on=)
Most people here believe that alcohol has your ear. These people really want to see alcoholics get well. As unhelpful as this forum may seem in helping people who decide to moderate or stay drunk, it is extremely helpful to people who decide to quit. The lights are always on.
Irish: Don't assume any of us are drunk, you just have to be following 2 threads and three Lauras to know whats going on=)
Guest
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,049
Laura I think you misunderstood my post on your other thread. I wasn't suggesting that you weren't creative enough to come up with a better story, in fact I'm not sure how that could have been interpreted.
Most if not all of us have been exactly where you are right now so we can see where this is likely going for you. For those of us that are sober, we are looking at your situation from the other side now.
I was wondering too if you were drinking and posting. I can see two different Laura's coming through in your postings, or think I can and maybe I'm wrong.
Most if not all of us have been exactly where you are right now so we can see where this is likely going for you. For those of us that are sober, we are looking at your situation from the other side now.
I was wondering too if you were drinking and posting. I can see two different Laura's coming through in your postings, or think I can and maybe I'm wrong.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,385
Both Lauras are welcome here.
I've been here only since January. I've read lots worse than what I see in this thread. Indeed, I myself was thrown to the lions because someone didn't like what I said in a PM. That person made it public and I was called all sorts of names from people who didn't even know what I said. They all assumed the worst from something that was taken out of context. I learned a lot from that experience.
Laura and Jane, please keep coming back. You're input is welcome and wanted. You're here for a reason of your own and nobody elses. Make SR what you want it to be for you. You've both hit a rocky patch with this thread but that happens in forums all the time. Just take a step back from this thread if it's getting too personal and give this experience some time to settle in so that you can learn from it.
Please don't leave. SR is full of very, very good people. Peace.
I've been here only since January. I've read lots worse than what I see in this thread. Indeed, I myself was thrown to the lions because someone didn't like what I said in a PM. That person made it public and I was called all sorts of names from people who didn't even know what I said. They all assumed the worst from something that was taken out of context. I learned a lot from that experience.
Laura and Jane, please keep coming back. You're input is welcome and wanted. You're here for a reason of your own and nobody elses. Make SR what you want it to be for you. You've both hit a rocky patch with this thread but that happens in forums all the time. Just take a step back from this thread if it's getting too personal and give this experience some time to settle in so that you can learn from it.
Please don't leave. SR is full of very, very good people. Peace.
Focus
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Washington DC
Posts: 206
Originally Posted by gerryP
Laura I think you misunderstood my post on your other thread. I wasn't suggesting that you weren't creative enough to come up with a better story, in fact I'm not sure how that could have been interpreted.
Most if not all of us have been exactly where you are right now so we can see where this is likely going for you. For those of us that are sober, we are looking at your situation from the other side now.
I was wondering too if you were drinking and posting. I can see two different Laura's coming through in your postings, or think I can and maybe I'm wrong.
Most if not all of us have been exactly where you are right now so we can see where this is likely going for you. For those of us that are sober, we are looking at your situation from the other side now.
I was wondering too if you were drinking and posting. I can see two different Laura's coming through in your postings, or think I can and maybe I'm wrong.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
I'm not really sure what purpose this discussion is fulfilling at the moment.
Threads that degenerate into arguments are no good for the participants - or for anyone wandering in here reading.
Lets chillaxe people
D
Threads that degenerate into arguments are no good for the participants - or for anyone wandering in here reading.
Lets chillaxe people
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 2,548
now im really confused......but im confused generaly anyhow..lol..
this is the big www.......and your gonna get all the opinions and suggestions that reflect just that..
im interested in helping anyone i can.. reach sobriety and beyond if i can.
ive no experience with control drinking with any success......so i have little or no advice to give....
but i would say that while i still had any notion of trying to control it...all attempts at staying sober were futile.
i had to concede to myself that the party was well and truly over...turn the light out on the way out and find a solution to staying sober.
i wish you well and please come back if it dont work out.
BUT PLEASE BEWARE....some people dont get back...believe me ive been to the funerals....
Sr is full of passionate people....it get warm in here sometimes.
i have loads of black eyes........you get used to it....lol...lol
god be with you and guide you......................shaun.
this is the big www.......and your gonna get all the opinions and suggestions that reflect just that..
im interested in helping anyone i can.. reach sobriety and beyond if i can.
ive no experience with control drinking with any success......so i have little or no advice to give....
but i would say that while i still had any notion of trying to control it...all attempts at staying sober were futile.
i had to concede to myself that the party was well and truly over...turn the light out on the way out and find a solution to staying sober.
i wish you well and please come back if it dont work out.
BUT PLEASE BEWARE....some people dont get back...believe me ive been to the funerals....
Sr is full of passionate people....it get warm in here sometimes.
i have loads of black eyes........you get used to it....lol...lol
god be with you and guide you......................shaun.
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,262
Just to clarify, I'm real Laura. I have two accounts on here (hopeful999 and traderjane). I cannot accesss hopeful999 because it was deactivated (by my own request). However it stays on the forum until there is a "data purge" or something like that. So it's an "inactive" account. The traderjane account is active and it's me.
Lauraandersen04 is a different person and her real name is not Laura. We joined around the same time, have different situations but have gotten to be friends on here.
I hope that all make sense. Sorry for any confusion. These have been confusing times on here.
Lauraandersen04 is a different person and her real name is not Laura. We joined around the same time, have different situations but have gotten to be friends on here.
I hope that all make sense. Sorry for any confusion. These have been confusing times on here.
Last edited by traderjane; 07-21-2009 at 05:39 AM. Reason: type
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,385
Laura,
Just please keep coming back. Don't worry about having two accounts. We who took the time to really learn what's going on here understand what has happened. You were hurt and wanted out. But then you came back and had to get a new name. That's fine. You aren't the first person who has changed their name on SR and you won't be the last. It's alright.
Welcome back. I look forward to hearing about your progress.
Just please keep coming back. Don't worry about having two accounts. We who took the time to really learn what's going on here understand what has happened. You were hurt and wanted out. But then you came back and had to get a new name. That's fine. You aren't the first person who has changed their name on SR and you won't be the last. It's alright.
Welcome back. I look forward to hearing about your progress.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 237
Both Lauras, real and fake - I like reading your posts and enjoy hearing from you. Please stick around.
Everyone here has had problems with wanting to go back and see if they could do it again, try to drink socially. Me included. You are not alone in this and should not avoid posting because of it.
Heck, I like watching experiments unfold and am excited to see whether it works for you. Of course, I prefer that someone else try that experiment because I am pretty sure I would fail miserably.
I was under the impression that this is a wide spectrum of alcohol and substance abuse and we are all in different stages of recovery.
I thought I heard that relapses were a part of recovery? SO I think you are right where you need to be. If for nothing else, stay for my morbid curiosity!
Shelly
Everyone here has had problems with wanting to go back and see if they could do it again, try to drink socially. Me included. You are not alone in this and should not avoid posting because of it.
Heck, I like watching experiments unfold and am excited to see whether it works for you. Of course, I prefer that someone else try that experiment because I am pretty sure I would fail miserably.
I was under the impression that this is a wide spectrum of alcohol and substance abuse and we are all in different stages of recovery.
I thought I heard that relapses were a part of recovery? SO I think you are right where you need to be. If for nothing else, stay for my morbid curiosity!
Shelly
Guest
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,049
Shelly, I don't want in anyway for my comment to be interpreted as self righteous or me ornery, however I do want to mention that "Everyone has had their problems with wanting to go back and see if they could do it again, try to drink socially" This is simply not true. I realize that you were trying to be helpful, but be careful not to lump all alcoholics into one pot. Not everyone goes about staying sober the same way.
Also, I for one do not believe that relapse is part of recovery. I see that as a big o'l excuse to relapse.
Also, I for one do not believe that relapse is part of recovery. I see that as a big o'l excuse to relapse.
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