My Story: Do I have an issue?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,279
Originally Posted by NEOMARXIST 
haha. If Only. I can honestly say that I am POWERLESS after those 2 glasses mate! There ain't no way that I am gonna wan't to stop, Once I take a drink of alcohol, it is no-longer my sober 'rational' mind but the alcohol 'controlling me'. If there is any alcohol around once I am under the influence I will drink it. I will go out to buy more, even if I have promised me and my family I won't. Like I say I am Powerless once under the influence.
To take those 2 glasses and to then have to stop would be a torture that I would rather not bother with. I am an all or nothing drinker, I don't see the point in only getting a mild buzz, once that buzz is knocking at the door I cannot help but to increase it, as like Smacked says in her post, I love it Way Too much.
There is Nothing rational about alcoholism. I, like you, said to myself that I will try to stop after a few and "ride it out" as I would rather that than NOT have alcohol in my life. Guess what, it didn't work and my drinking binges got heavier and heavier.
It wouldn't matter if I had a job interview for the greatest job in the world paying million and millions of pounds with the chance to marry a supermodel, once i have had those couple of glasses of alcohol, none of that would matter and I would end up getting wasted.
Good Luck mate.
To take those 2 glasses and to then have to stop would be a torture that I would rather not bother with. I am an all or nothing drinker, I don't see the point in only getting a mild buzz, once that buzz is knocking at the door I cannot help but to increase it, as like Smacked says in her post, I love it Way Too much.
There is Nothing rational about alcoholism. I, like you, said to myself that I will try to stop after a few and "ride it out" as I would rather that than NOT have alcohol in my life. Guess what, it didn't work and my drinking binges got heavier and heavier.
It wouldn't matter if I had a job interview for the greatest job in the world paying million and millions of pounds with the chance to marry a supermodel, once i have had those couple of glasses of alcohol, none of that would matter and I would end up getting wasted.
Good Luck mate.
Moderation = No Way! That's not fun
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,279
Originally Posted by Inquisitive1
1) I seem unable to have just 1 glass of wine. I am not saying I am physically in need of the second glass, but, I always buy 2 bottles of wine and intend to drink them both, which I always do.
2) I am experiencing shortness of breath / anxiety attacks the day after I have drunk.
3) Recently on a couple of occasions I have had to cancel or delay lunches or informal social meetings with friends or family due to being too hung-over or waking up too late. .
2) I am experiencing shortness of breath / anxiety attacks the day after I have drunk.
3) Recently on a couple of occasions I have had to cancel or delay lunches or informal social meetings with friends or family due to being too hung-over or waking up too late. .
I cut out some of your posts to make it more clear.
You asked "Do I have an issue with alcohol?"
Here are my answers as I see them.
1) Yes, you are a binge drinker. You cant stop at one & if you do it isn't fun. You think because you don't drink everyday that it might be ok. Its not! It is very hard on your body & system (I was a binge drinker too). Stop Drinking!
2) I also experienced this, the anxiety attacks that I had the day after drinking were some of the worst anxiety/panic attacks that I have ever had. I also have general anxiety issues. I don't get really bad panic attacks unless I was drinking the night before. Stop Drinking!
3) You are starting to cancel meetings & lunches because things are starting to get worse. Stop Drinking!
I know its not easy & you can come up with all of the rationalizations & excuses you like but your not doing yourself any favors. We (the alcoholics on this forum) have written the book on excuses & rationalizations so your not going to tell us anything new.
You feel that "moderation" is going to work, great do it! Please do that for a month & post after each time that you do it. If you always have fun having 1 or 2 & can stop then I applaud you.
Good luck & keep us posted on your moderation
Take Care,
NB
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 34
Will keep posting fret not.
Very keen to drink say only once a week and not go wild with it. If I can stick to this, which I really believe I can, then I feel I would have made the best step possible.
In answer to city girls question, I don't feel one bit like some of the drunks I see. I see drunks who live in their own poo in council flats who have not moved in weeks, not eaten and need to be stretchered out every so often. I also see the casual drinker who has no idea of his addiction, as he only has 2 drinks but has them every night. I see the whole spectrum.
What I see is that I don't have to drink, but I choose to. I then see that wen I do drink I tend to binge and drink between 1.5 to 3 bottles on each occasion. If I lay off (like I have been now for a week) then when I come to drink again I will drink less. But the more I drink in succession, so the more the volume increases, and the more alcohol I seem to be able to consume and not feel so drunk.
I am also aware of my personality, I am all or nothing with all things in life. I am not trying to make excuses but I am that way and I feel it important to remember that aspect.
My honest gut instinct is that I have the potential to develop a problem, I am not convinced I am there yet. I drink much less than many of my piers who are all proffessionals, the difference with me is the style and format of drinking.
Very keen to drink say only once a week and not go wild with it. If I can stick to this, which I really believe I can, then I feel I would have made the best step possible.
In answer to city girls question, I don't feel one bit like some of the drunks I see. I see drunks who live in their own poo in council flats who have not moved in weeks, not eaten and need to be stretchered out every so often. I also see the casual drinker who has no idea of his addiction, as he only has 2 drinks but has them every night. I see the whole spectrum.
What I see is that I don't have to drink, but I choose to. I then see that wen I do drink I tend to binge and drink between 1.5 to 3 bottles on each occasion. If I lay off (like I have been now for a week) then when I come to drink again I will drink less. But the more I drink in succession, so the more the volume increases, and the more alcohol I seem to be able to consume and not feel so drunk.
I am also aware of my personality, I am all or nothing with all things in life. I am not trying to make excuses but I am that way and I feel it important to remember that aspect.
My honest gut instinct is that I have the potential to develop a problem, I am not convinced I am there yet. I drink much less than many of my piers who are all proffessionals, the difference with me is the style and format of drinking.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: East Coast
Posts: 437
Just would like to add my two cents. I agree with you that you may have caught this in time and maybe you can moderate. But if that is the case why are you here. I see many here who drink less than you but that was a problem for them. If drinking is causing you problems it probably will get worse. I don't think the majority of people here are the sterotypical alcoholic. I wasn't but I definitely could have had a different ending. Keep reading and posting there is much wisdom here. If at all possible try to get a handle on this before something bad happens to you. I'm not sure if I could have stopped without a little drama but I'm glad I did before any of those not "yets" happened. Any way you look at it if you are drinking more than 2 glasses of wine you are physically harming your body.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Somewhere out there
Posts: 45
Well, Inquisitive, I hope you can moderate. I know that I have a problem with moderation. I, too, am a binge drinker. So, I am first going to try being sober for 30 days and then see how I feel about things. But, we all have to find our own answers.
And no, I do not think I have the same problems as everyone else, but I can see that I am developing a problem, and I want to stop it before it escalates. I too, drink much less than my peers. Most of them drink every day (I work in a law office), and many of them miss work because of it. I used to take pride in the fact that I did not do that. But I am afraid that eventually, if I do not do something now, I might get there. Because you know what, none of those people ever intended to be like they are either.
I'm glad you are not like some of the people you have seen! But, I know that I need to change, for me. What if one of my kids was hurt and I needed to take them to the ER on the weekend? Before I would have had to call someone else to do it, because I would not have been able to drive (I will not drive while drinking). What if a relative or friend was in trouble and I needed to go see them?
I'm not sure exactly how things will turn out for me, but I know that drinking on the weekends has become entirely too important to me. And I do not want to be like that. So, I am changing!
Let us know how the weekend goes!
Hugs from Texas!
And no, I do not think I have the same problems as everyone else, but I can see that I am developing a problem, and I want to stop it before it escalates. I too, drink much less than my peers. Most of them drink every day (I work in a law office), and many of them miss work because of it. I used to take pride in the fact that I did not do that. But I am afraid that eventually, if I do not do something now, I might get there. Because you know what, none of those people ever intended to be like they are either.
I'm glad you are not like some of the people you have seen! But, I know that I need to change, for me. What if one of my kids was hurt and I needed to take them to the ER on the weekend? Before I would have had to call someone else to do it, because I would not have been able to drive (I will not drive while drinking). What if a relative or friend was in trouble and I needed to go see them?
I'm not sure exactly how things will turn out for me, but I know that drinking on the weekends has become entirely too important to me. And I do not want to be like that. So, I am changing!
Let us know how the weekend goes!
Hugs from Texas!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,279
Originally Posted by Inquisitive1
Will keep posting fret not.
Very keen to drink say only once a week and not go wild with it. If I can stick to this, which I really believe I can, then I feel I would have made the best step possible.
In answer to city girls question, I don't feel one bit like some of the drunks I see. I see drunks who live in their own poo in council flats who have not moved in weeks, not eaten and need to be stretchered out every so often. I also see the casual drinker who has no idea of his addiction, as he only has 2 drinks but has them every night. I see the whole spectrum.
What I see is that I don't have to drink, but I choose to. I then see that wen I do drink I tend to binge and drink between 1.5 to 3 bottles on each occasion. If I lay off (like I have been now for a week) then when I come to drink again I will drink less. But the more I drink in succession, so the more the volume increases, and the more alcohol I seem to be able to consume and not feel so drunk.
I am also aware of my personality, I am all or nothing with all things in life. I am not trying to make excuses but I am that way and I feel it important to remember that aspect.
My honest gut instinct is that I have the potential to develop a problem, I am not convinced I am there yet. I drink much less than many of my piers who are all proffessionals, the difference with me is the style and format of drinking.
Very keen to drink say only once a week and not go wild with it. If I can stick to this, which I really believe I can, then I feel I would have made the best step possible.
In answer to city girls question, I don't feel one bit like some of the drunks I see. I see drunks who live in their own poo in council flats who have not moved in weeks, not eaten and need to be stretchered out every so often. I also see the casual drinker who has no idea of his addiction, as he only has 2 drinks but has them every night. I see the whole spectrum.
What I see is that I don't have to drink, but I choose to. I then see that wen I do drink I tend to binge and drink between 1.5 to 3 bottles on each occasion. If I lay off (like I have been now for a week) then when I come to drink again I will drink less. But the more I drink in succession, so the more the volume increases, and the more alcohol I seem to be able to consume and not feel so drunk.
I am also aware of my personality, I am all or nothing with all things in life. I am not trying to make excuses but I am that way and I feel it important to remember that aspect.
My honest gut instinct is that I have the potential to develop a problem, I am not convinced I am there yet. I drink much less than many of my piers who are all proffessionals, the difference with me is the style and format of drinking.
Inquisitive1's Moderation Program
Drinking Sessions Per Week - 1
Number of Drinks Per Session - 2 (regular wine pour or pint)
Total Weeks - 4
Total Amount of Alcohol over 4 weeks - 8 (8 glasses)
Duration: 1 Month (July 17th to August 14th 2009)
Starting Friday July 17, 2009
Fri, Sat, Sun, Mon, Tue, Wed, Thur,
Day's : FSSMTWT
Week 1 00000000
Week 2 00000000
Week 3 00000000
Week 4 00000000
Target = 8
Total number of drinks during moderation program =
I am happy to keep track of & update this for you, all I ask for is complete honesty on what days you drink & how many.
If you can stick to this for a month you may not have a drinking problem... congratulations!
If you cant then you may have a drinking problem... time to make some changes, get a program together & get sober.
Let me know if your up to honestly keeping track together. I wish you the best whether you have a problem with alcohol or not.
Take Care,
NB
P.S. I really believe one month is too short & a 6 month average would be best to have accurate results. But lets go with a month to start.
Today's Muse
Join Date: May 2007
Location: West end
Posts: 1,081
Stick to your plan and I think you will find it to be quite revealing. If you truly have a drinking problem, your plan will confirm it. Then, you will be ready for action, hopefully. We all have had the same thoughts as you, thought I could control my drinking. I tried a million times and failed each time. However, I had to do it my way to figure it out. The beast of alcoholism is a deceptive one. It tells us we are in control and this time will be different. The truth is, it never is. It will, however, continue to get worse. Good luck.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 34
Originally Posted by smacked
the illusion of terminal uniqueness strikes again...
take care
take care
I am not making excuses or saying I am different, what I am saying is that everyone is different and everyones problems are different in their own unique way. I dont wake up and need a drink, nor do I seem to need to drink, the issue is that when I do drink I struggle to moderate. That in itself is a problem - and one that I am investigating by this forum and other ways such as abstinence and when I do drink again, moderation. When that happens I will again post and be honest. Everyone has a different problem and a different style of dependance. I don't feel I am alcohol dependant right now, but I fear that chemically my body is reacting to alcohol consumption and over time has built up a need to continue it's intake when I drink. The longer I don't drink for, the less I want a drink. Problem is that feeling is so strong I get to the point I choose to have a couple, which is fine the first time, but can tumble out of control if I let it.
A major factor I think is my shifts, I get an awful amount of time off and get bored. If my time was used up more, I know I wouldn't drink as much.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,279
Originally Posted by Inquisitive1
I like the plan but will be off the computer until after the weekend, I will be back rest assured - watch this space!
Either way, take care ;-)
NB
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: SE and then South some more
Posts: 2,648
Originally Posted by 51anna
If you can't stop drinking once you start, to me, that's addiction. It's not just the physical addiction, but the mental obsession as well - thinking about drinking. Planning when to drink and when to not drink, is part of the mental obsession.
You will need to decide if you are an alcoholic or not. I hope you take a look around and read and learn.
You will need to decide if you are an alcoholic or not. I hope you take a look around and read and learn.
I also believe you know the answers but it's facing them that is hardest for you.
Glad you found SR. Great place with TONS of insight!!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,279
Originally Posted by NewBeginning010
Perfect! Lets nail down the details of this moderation program that you are planning OK?
Inquisitive1's Moderation Program
Drinking Sessions Per Week - 1
Number of Drinks Per Session - 2 (regular wine pour or pint)
Total Weeks - 4
Total Amount of Alcohol over 4 weeks - 8 (8 glasses)
Duration: 1 Month (July 17th to August 14th 2009)
Starting Friday July 17, 2009
Fri, Sat, Sun, Mon, Tue, Wed, Thur,
Day's : FSSMTWT
Week 1 00000000
Week 2 00000000
Week 3 00000000
Week 4 00000000
Target = 8
Total number of drinks during moderation program =
I am happy to keep track of & update this for you, all I ask for is complete honesty on what days you drink & how many.
If you can stick to this for a month you may not have a drinking problem... congratulations!
If you cant then you may have a drinking problem... time to make some changes, get a program together & get sober.
Let me know if your up to honestly keeping track together. I wish you the best whether you have a problem with alcohol or not.
Take Care,
NB
P.S. I really believe one month is too short & a 6 month average would be best to have accurate results. But lets go with a month to start.
Inquisitive1's Moderation Program
Drinking Sessions Per Week - 1
Number of Drinks Per Session - 2 (regular wine pour or pint)
Total Weeks - 4
Total Amount of Alcohol over 4 weeks - 8 (8 glasses)
Duration: 1 Month (July 17th to August 14th 2009)
Starting Friday July 17, 2009
Fri, Sat, Sun, Mon, Tue, Wed, Thur,
Day's : FSSMTWT
Week 1 00000000
Week 2 00000000
Week 3 00000000
Week 4 00000000
Target = 8
Total number of drinks during moderation program =
I am happy to keep track of & update this for you, all I ask for is complete honesty on what days you drink & how many.
If you can stick to this for a month you may not have a drinking problem... congratulations!
If you cant then you may have a drinking problem... time to make some changes, get a program together & get sober.
Let me know if your up to honestly keeping track together. I wish you the best whether you have a problem with alcohol or not.
Take Care,
NB
P.S. I really believe one month is too short & a 6 month average would be best to have accurate results. But lets go with a month to start.
I hope that you had a good weekend, do I need to make any changes to the chart? This is one competition where you can win with all 0's.
I hope that you are doing well.
Take Care,
NB
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 34
Hi all,
I actually wrote a long reply yesterday and then lost it all, so have now had ot wait until today as been too busy.
I am in quite a good place right now. I elected to drink Saturday night as it was a very pissy family BBQ and I fancied it as a good time to start my "once a week only" rule. Anyway drank at a steady pace between 5pm and 1am, at which point I stopped drinking and went to bed (before many others I hasten to add). I monitored how I felt throughout the evening and at no point felt I could not have coped with stopping drinking at any one point. I all in all felt relieved and re-assured.
Woke up on Sunday morning feeling nowhere near as bad as usual, and felt fine throughout the rest of the day. I had a slight introduction of tension at some points during the afternoon / evening but simply refused to let it bother me, and despite going to a family lunch, sitting down to a family dinner and sitting in the car for 2 hours to drive home I did not "suffer" at all.
And so now it is Tuesday and another week where I won't be drinking. I feel absolutley fine and again I don't have any want or need to drink. I am wondering whether my anxiety episodes are pyshological based on knowing that I am drinking too much and have some connection to what has happened to my father's side of the family. They happen when I drink 2+ nights and the more/longer I drink for the worse they are/become.
I am by no means saying this is it, I need to keep up this good work but I feel deeply confident in myself. I am about to move house and change job and I feel that psychologically this is a great time to change habit. Whereas before I chose to drink regularly I am simply choosing now not to. I want to continue this "once a week only" rule for a time, then I want to try minimal moderation, i.e 2 glasses only in an evening etc.
So you may add a 1 to the chart for Saturday evening! I really felt like a drink on Sunday as it was sunny and we spent alot of time in the garden chatting, but I refused to drink. Almost did though!
I actually wrote a long reply yesterday and then lost it all, so have now had ot wait until today as been too busy.
I am in quite a good place right now. I elected to drink Saturday night as it was a very pissy family BBQ and I fancied it as a good time to start my "once a week only" rule. Anyway drank at a steady pace between 5pm and 1am, at which point I stopped drinking and went to bed (before many others I hasten to add). I monitored how I felt throughout the evening and at no point felt I could not have coped with stopping drinking at any one point. I all in all felt relieved and re-assured.
Woke up on Sunday morning feeling nowhere near as bad as usual, and felt fine throughout the rest of the day. I had a slight introduction of tension at some points during the afternoon / evening but simply refused to let it bother me, and despite going to a family lunch, sitting down to a family dinner and sitting in the car for 2 hours to drive home I did not "suffer" at all.
And so now it is Tuesday and another week where I won't be drinking. I feel absolutley fine and again I don't have any want or need to drink. I am wondering whether my anxiety episodes are pyshological based on knowing that I am drinking too much and have some connection to what has happened to my father's side of the family. They happen when I drink 2+ nights and the more/longer I drink for the worse they are/become.
I am by no means saying this is it, I need to keep up this good work but I feel deeply confident in myself. I am about to move house and change job and I feel that psychologically this is a great time to change habit. Whereas before I chose to drink regularly I am simply choosing now not to. I want to continue this "once a week only" rule for a time, then I want to try minimal moderation, i.e 2 glasses only in an evening etc.
So you may add a 1 to the chart for Saturday evening! I really felt like a drink on Sunday as it was sunny and we spent alot of time in the garden chatting, but I refused to drink. Almost did though!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,279
Originally Posted by NewBeginning010
Perfect! Lets nail down the details of this moderation program that you are planning OK?
Inquisitive1's Moderation Program
Drinking Sessions Per Week - 1
Number of Drinks Per Session - 2 (regular wine pour or pint)
Total Weeks - 4
Total Amount of Alcohol over 4 weeks - 8 (8 glasses)
Duration: 1 Month (July 17th to August 14th 2009)
Starting Friday July 17, 2009
Fri, Sat, Sun, Mon, Tue, Wed, Thur,
Day's : FSSMTWT
Week 1 00000000
Week 2 00000000
Week 3 00000000
Week 4 00000000
Target = 8
Total number of drinks during moderation program =
I am happy to keep track of & update this for you, all I ask for is complete honesty on what days you drink & how many.
If you can stick to this for a month you may not have a drinking problem... congratulations!
If you cant then you may have a drinking problem... time to make some changes, get a program together & get sober.
Let me know if your up to honestly keeping track together. I wish you the best whether you have a problem with alcohol or not.
Take Care,
NB
P.S. I really believe one month is too short & a 6 month average would be best to have accurate results. But lets go with a month to start.
Inquisitive1's Moderation Program
Drinking Sessions Per Week - 1
Number of Drinks Per Session - 2 (regular wine pour or pint)
Total Weeks - 4
Total Amount of Alcohol over 4 weeks - 8 (8 glasses)
Duration: 1 Month (July 17th to August 14th 2009)
Starting Friday July 17, 2009
Fri, Sat, Sun, Mon, Tue, Wed, Thur,
Day's : FSSMTWT
Week 1 00000000
Week 2 00000000
Week 3 00000000
Week 4 00000000
Target = 8
Total number of drinks during moderation program =
I am happy to keep track of & update this for you, all I ask for is complete honesty on what days you drink & how many.
If you can stick to this for a month you may not have a drinking problem... congratulations!
If you cant then you may have a drinking problem... time to make some changes, get a program together & get sober.
Let me know if your up to honestly keeping track together. I wish you the best whether you have a problem with alcohol or not.
Take Care,
NB
P.S. I really believe one month is too short & a 6 month average would be best to have accurate results. But lets go with a month to start.
Great to hear that you had a good weekend. So you drank from 5 pm to 1 am at a regular pace. So how many did you have? If I was drinking for that period of time it would be at least 15 or more drinks.
I think you misunderstood the chart, you place how many drinks you had that day as the number. You said you could have one or two & stop, that was the point of this... moderation.
If you have had eight drinks or more you have already gone over your monthly quota of 2 beers per drinking session and one drinking night per week over a month equals 8 drinks.
So if you had 8 or more it would look like this (I am going to put in 9 until I hear your number from Saturday night)
Day's : FSSMTWT
Week 1 09000000
Week 2 00000000
Week 3 00000000
Week 4 00000000
If you did in fact have 9 or more drinks you have failed the moderation program, the good news is you now know you have a drinking problem & can start to work on it with us & the recovery program of your choosing.
Let me know how many drinks you had between 5pm & 1am Saturday "drank at a steady pace between 5pm and 1am, at which point I stopped drinking and went to bed"
I hope that all is well
Take Care,
NB
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 34
I can't recall exacty how many I had - but would say a minimum of around 12 drinks, amongst that a few pints and a fair few glasses of wine.
I don't understand the chart though - how can I have failed, I have drank one night in 14? Thats around 10 times less than most. I don't agree at all, it's a ridiculous conclusion to make...Based on your chart, most people I know are therefore alcoholics.
I don't understand the chart though - how can I have failed, I have drank one night in 14? Thats around 10 times less than most. I don't agree at all, it's a ridiculous conclusion to make...Based on your chart, most people I know are therefore alcoholics.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,279
I guess the problem with moderation is everyone has a different number and view on moderation.
It didnt work for the inventor of the moderation program either, she ended up killing two people while driving drunk.
This thread has information on the moderation program.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...anagement.html
Take Care,
NB
It didnt work for the inventor of the moderation program either, she ended up killing two people while driving drunk.
This thread has information on the moderation program.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...anagement.html
Take Care,
NB
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 34
This issue here is we are talking at cross purposes - I am not trying to moderate, I am trying to cut my drinking down to once a week. That in itself is fine, most people drink vast amounta more times than that a week.
Later on, I will try the moderation, but, I am not there yet. You have jumped the gun considerably.
If you make a 0 a 1 whenever I drink, then it portarys how often I am drinking. That was, I thought, the point of the graphs.
Later on, I will try the moderation, but, I am not there yet. You have jumped the gun considerably.
If you make a 0 a 1 whenever I drink, then it portarys how often I am drinking. That was, I thought, the point of the graphs.
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