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My Story: Do I have an issue?

Old 07-24-2009, 01:18 AM
  # 81 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by smacked View Post
There's nothing about alcohol and overdrinking like that that I miss enough to wish I could do it again.
well, having just a few drinks once a week would already be a big improvement for me...
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Old 07-25-2009, 05:19 AM
  # 82 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by smacked View Post
There's nothing about alcohol and overdrinking like that that I miss enough to wish I could do it again.
I am intrigued by how anti alcohol you seem to be. Surely, if you have had an issue, then there must be some temptation or memory of a good high feeling when drinking, as if it were always that bad and you never liked it there should be no temptation to want to drink at all, therefore easily allowing you to moderate and have 1, 2 or however many you want.

Are you saying 100% of your experience was negative then - with no memories of elation or feeling good - which surely is the major feeling of temptation that leads people back to the bottle?

Back on topic and I have as planned not drank anything, but no surpise there, I said I wouldn't and I am back at work. Will probably have a little tommorow night, but don't plan to drink alot.
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Old 07-25-2009, 07:14 AM
  # 83 (permalink)  
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LOL.. that's not what I'm saying at all. I had a blast drinking myself into oblivion, sometimes. But the negatives that it brings to my life heavily outweigh any plus I can think of.

I am "allowed" to drink what I want, I choose not to. I know that one or 2 lead to 20, and overdrinking (usually 5 or 6 was my top..) didn't make me feel any better about myself, my life, or my health, so I don't do it.

When I used to snort a bunch of cocaine, I like the high of that too.. doesn't mean the negatives of that don't outweigh the delusional "fun" times I had, but it'd be stupid of me to try to only snort a 'little' now.. what's the point?

My life is totally uncomplicated by alcohol, I'm not "anti alcohol", I am a non drinker. My past drinking could have easily led to suffering much worse things than I did and I chose to stop.

I'm slightly offended in the assumptions you make about me, but I do know that you don't know me, or my situation (I have never posted, my 'story' like you and others have so far), and you're caught up in a mess of drinking/not drinking drama that can be pretty overwhelming. I just simply chose to take that out of my life, and I have never regretted it. I have lots of other things in my life that keep me pretty happy and 'buzzed', things that will never kill my liver or ruin a relationship, or cause a hangover for that matter.

I was very very very defensive of my drinking before I quit, I've used every single excuse and rationalization you have and much much more. I don't care if you drink, honestly. If you can moderate (which so far you haven't as that is 2 drinks for men), and it is causing you no ill effects in life, congrats.. no problem? Most moderate drinkers with no issue or dependence on alcohol don't think about their drinking, much less seek out recovery websites and ask a bunch of recovering/recovered alcoholics if they have a problem, and then spend 4 pages on a thread defending the 'non problem', but hey.. we all make our own decisions, good and bad.
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Old 07-25-2009, 11:05 PM
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Where do we get this figure of 2 drinks for men? Is this based on daily recommended units?

All I am saying is that at the end of the day, of course I can drink 2 drinks and not have anymore. It is not particularly hard, you pick up 2 glasses, drink them, and then don't refill the glass. Simples. It is all down to choice.

Seeking out a recovery website such as I have done is down to me being inquisitive, hence my name. I feel there is a presumption that if you post on here, yo must have an issue. If I join a car website to find out a bit more about cars does that make me a car freak? I am simply seeking knowledge. If anything I am an over-reacter, I am sensitive and pick up on things early, almost obssessing about them and trying to rectify them. But again, not knowing me you would not be able to appreciate that.

You say I am in a state of being overwhelmed ina period between alcohol and no alcohol? I don't get that... I have not drank since last Saturday night as per usual and have been working as per usual. Alcohol doesn't cross my mind in that period, sorry.
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Old 07-25-2009, 11:59 PM
  # 85 (permalink)  
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I'm coming to this thread late, but took the time to read it all the way through before responding. I can't count the number of times I shook my head, or sighed at your rationalizations, Inquisitive. I can see soooo many red flags in so many things you say. In my opinion, you are a binge drinker. Binge drinkers can go for weeks at a time and not even think about alcohol...have no desire whatsoever to drink. But, when the time comes that they do drink, they keep drinking until they are ready to go to bed or just pass out. You say you don't like to drink and eat, so you put off eating so you can continue to drink. This is a huge red flag and a tactic my own father used. He wouldn't eat until just before he went to bed because once he ate, he didn't want to drink anymore. So many things you are saying convinces me that yes, you do have a problem with alcohol. Will it eventually kill you? Who knows? Will it get worse? Yes, unfortunately it will if you don't take steps to stop drinking completely. You can rationalize it or deny it or make excuses or whatever you feel like doing, but from what I have read in this thread, you most definitely have a problem with alcohol. I truly hope you will stop the games and get some help before you end up like my father...dead at the age of 58 from alcoholism. Good luck to you.
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Old 07-27-2009, 04:33 AM
  # 86 (permalink)  
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The *represents a drinking night. Not sure how much I actually enjoyed last night.
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Old 07-27-2009, 05:22 AM
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Troll??????
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Old 07-27-2009, 07:12 AM
  # 88 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Inquisitive1 View Post
Where do we get this figure of 2 drinks for men? Is this based on daily recommended units?

All I am saying is that at the end of the day, of course I can drink 2 drinks and not have anymore. It is not particularly hard, you pick up 2 glasses, drink them, and then don't refill the glass. Simples. It is all down to choice.

Seeking out a recovery website such as I have done is down to me being inquisitive, hence my name. I feel there is a presumption that if you post on here, yo must have an issue. If I join a car website to find out a bit more about cars does that make me a car freak? I am simply seeking knowledge. If anything I am an over-reacter, I am sensitive and pick up on things early, almost obssessing about them and trying to rectify them. But again, not knowing me you would not be able to appreciate that.

You say I am in a state of being overwhelmed ina period between alcohol and no alcohol? I don't get that... I have not drank since last Saturday night as per usual and have been working as per usual. Alcohol doesn't cross my mind in that period, sorry.
No, that's not true. It might be a presumption based on your admitted alcohol consumption though

And, nah.. I wasn't making stuff up, here:

According to the Dietary Guidelines for Americans,1 drinking in moderation is defined as having no more than 1 drink per day for women and no more than 2 drinks per day for men. This definition is referring to the amount consumed on any single day and is not intended as an average over several days.
I also chose every drink I consumed. How in the world would that justify it as less of a problem? LOL!

And you don't seem like an overreacter to me, at all. Likely the opposite..

Or Taz is right. Ah well.
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Old 07-27-2009, 07:44 AM
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After all I have written, and now I get accused of being a troll.

Gee, this is a nice forum.
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Old 07-29-2009, 07:18 PM
  # 90 (permalink)  
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IMO, he is not a troll, just a confused drinker, like so many others out there.

It comes down to YOU inquisitive, you and you alone. Either you are OK with your drinking or you're not. Many people here, myself included, have struggled with the complex issue of drinking in their lives and hopefully we have learned from our mistakes and have taken steps to rectify bad situations. We want to help. If you are in a bad situation, I hope you will just hang in there (here) with an open mind and try to learn as much as you can, while you can. You have some real rough stuff in your family history as far as alcohol and this should not be taken lightly. No person needs alcohol to survive. It's a non-essential item in the game of life. People live without it all the time all over the world. And it is truly a choice as you have stated but the choice is yours to make. I and others make the choice, daily, to say no to alcohol, for various yet equally legitimate reasons.

What you really need to understand is YOU came here, to our house so to speak, and wanted to solicit opinions about you and your drinking. Of course, the answers might not have been the ones you were looking for but you got the time and attention of some good and decent people and I hope that in your heart of hearts you are considering what I and some others might have had to say about you and your drinking.

Because YOU asked.

Which is a great first step.
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Old 07-30-2009, 01:52 PM
  # 91 (permalink)  
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I agree with everything you have said, and yes I did come here.

I just find it very hard to express myself on a written forum. I am a very outgoing passionate person who leads a normal life and I do feel that some have made a presumption.

I don't need to be told about the "it doesnt matter if you lead a normal life" story as I know only too well about the hidden dangers and the small signs. I have seen them all my life. Maybe thats what me coming on here is, to seek some sort of understanding, I don't know.

Since posting on here I have cut back to once a week. I am drinking tonight though. We are exchanging contracts on our dream house tommorow and I feel that I have finally reached where I want to be in life. My wifes on nights and I decided to crack open a bottle of red. I am up at 0900 to goto the bank and transfer the large deposit.

So, the calender can be updated:
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Old 07-30-2009, 01:56 PM
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Old 07-30-2009, 02:34 PM
  # 93 (permalink)  
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Ya know, it's probably really hard for those folks that DO have a problem and ARE trying to stay sober, to read about your cracking open a celebratory red wine and excuses for such.


Just a thought.
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Old 07-30-2009, 03:46 PM
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That may be true, Smacked, but it doesn't make me want to make me open up a bottle of red. The last time I had a bottle of red, there were red throw up chunks in the toilet and a sleepless, hellish night to go along with it. When I think of red wine, that is what I think of!

I bought a house recently and the whole process was really difficult. The financing almost fell through at the last minute and I was there at the title company for about 6 hours until things worked out. People were babysitting my kids and I was getting really stressed out. The deal finally worked out late into the evening and I felt I HAD to celebrate with a bottle of wine (this was over a year ago, mind you, when I was drinking with reckless abandon). Needless to say, I finished the whole bottle that night. The next morning I felt like hell. I showed up at my new house totally hungover and had to get the group of painters started on what should have been a joyous day of my life. I was so wishing I didn't "celebrate" the way I had .. I have pictures from that morning of my kids looking all perky and happy at their new house and me looking hellish. As Dee says, "Play the tape through."
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Old 07-30-2009, 04:49 PM
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Originally Posted by traderjane View Post
That may be true, Smacked, but it doesn't make me want to make me open up a bottle of red. The last time I had a bottle of red, there were red throw up chunks in the toilet and a sleepless, hellish night to go along with it. When I think of red wine, that is what I think of!

I bought a house recently and the whole process was really difficult. The financing almost fell through at the last minute and I was there at the title company for about 6 hours until things worked out. People were babysitting my kids and I was getting really stressed out. The deal finally worked out late into the evening and I felt I HAD to celebrate with a bottle of wine (this was over a year ago, mind you, when I was drinking with reckless abandon). Needless to say, I finished the whole bottle that night. The next morning I felt like hell. I showed up at my new house totally hungover and had to get the group of painters started on what should have been a joyous day of my life. I was so wishing I didn't "celebrate" the way I had .. I have pictures from that morning of my kids looking all perky and happy at their new house and me looking hellish. As Dee says, "Play the tape through."
oh I totally agree.. grosses me out too.
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Old 07-30-2009, 07:42 PM
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I've found this thread to be a very interesting read. Inquisitive reminds me of my ex-husband who is an alcoholic in denial, and has been in denial for 25 years. He also did not drink every night, or during the day, or on Mondays....or whatever....but when he did drink he drank a LOT! It eventually caused the end of our marriage because, with time, he became aggressive and even violent during these binges. Did they happen every week? No. Did they happen every month? No. But every couple of months or so some manner of violence would take place.... a wall punched, a chair broken, me pushed around, and once thrown on the ground and strangled. by then we had two small kids and I begged him to get help. He said it was all my fault that he drank. We went to marriage counseling and as soon as the counselor focused on his drinking, he no longer wanted to attend. So I divorced him. As the kids grew their weekend visits were sometimes spoiled by similar episodes of drinking...not often...but often enough and scary enough to where they 'demanded' that he not drink when they were there. He "moderated" for a couple of years but eventually allowed himself 2-3 glasses of wine while they were there. Most recently over summer visit (3 weeks) they called me to come get them because of his drinking...they were DONE. He now has NO VISITATION whatsoever because it is written in the decree that they can choose whether or not to visit (they are teens now). They have chosen not to...at all...ever again.

The ex is ENRAGED about this saying I have brainwashed them and he is NOT RESPONSIBLE...the kids are LYING and EXAGGERATING about his drinking that he has worked VERY HARD TO MODERATE and they're just "acting like spoiled brats"!!!!! None of this is true. Every bit of it is his denial alive and well. He has NEVER acknowledged that he might have a drinking problem even though he strangled his wife, it ruined his marriage, he lost his kids, and totaled a car. Nope! Not a problem!! He's moderating!!

It's sad too because he really is a great guy....when he's sober....but those days are becoming fewer and farther between. I hear it's a progressive disease.
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Old 07-31-2009, 12:56 PM
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Denial, yes but what I think what it really comes down to on some level is that drinking alcohol impairs good judgment and makes accurate (self) assessments difficult. Of course Inquisitive is confused, unsure, and/or combative with conflicting opinions. His brain is sometimes under the negative influence of a poisonous, intoxicating, addictive substance. Drinkers do not think clearly by definition, it's a hazard of the habit and that is why I really think it is important for anyone who thinks they might have a problem with alcohol to immediately discontinue drinking and then start the process of working out the details of the problem/solution from a sober, clear headed perspective. A mind clouded by alcohol cannot and should not be trusted to do this.

Each day a drink is taken, another clouded judgment day is fueled.
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Old 08-05-2009, 08:48 AM
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Twice last week and twice this week so far. I am working nights for the remainder of the week, so wont now drink until week 4.
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Old 08-05-2009, 08:54 AM
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Denial is a sad thing.
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Old 08-06-2009, 10:54 AM
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And again we go round in circles.

I am not denying anything - I am concerned over my drinking and that is why I have started this thread. I am trying to understand the basis for my concern and look at myself from a birds eye point of view.

Sometimes when I drink I feel I may have an issue as I dot not appear to drink like other, then again sometimes I feel I am fine.
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