Class of April
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 811
I am just tired of it. How can I control it if I can't control it? I am fine until 3:00 then I a-line to the grocery store for bread, milk....WINE. I do not seem to have the self control to not go there. I am tired of fighting it and thinking about it, so I feel like giving up and giving into it....but where would that get me? Not far. I felt great yesterday, and then drank excessively last nite. I read over and over again about how others go back and drink after 60 days. How the hell I am supposed to make 2 f'in days,? I see lots of people come and go on this site and bless their hearts and I pray for them...what about the rest of us???? I am so lost.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: massachusetts
Posts: 2,216
Hi Eclipse and everyone else. I feel your pain, each and every one of them and I am sorry for those who feel hopeless. I know how awful it feels to be controlled by something, to KNOW that this is a dead end (literally), yet be unable to stop it. But the fact is, that you must feel hope because you are here. Do you feel like you are doing EVERYTHING you can to be sober? I know that I seemed to always get stuck at day 3 or 4 and was unable to break the vicious cycle. What it took FOR ME was to take Antabuse. I knew that it would take the decision out of my hands. Obviously, "my hands" weren't getting me anywhere. This may not be the course FOR YOU, but perhaps a different approach to the one you are trying would be the magic ticket. FOR ME, sober time begat wanting MORE sober time (and reluctance to lose what I had). I think that ANY WAY that you can achieve sobriety for longer than you have in the past will fuel your commitment. Get P#$%%d at your disease! BELIEVE in your ability to overcome the obstacles on the path to sobriety. It is never going to be easy, but it can be done. My support goes out to all of you.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: massachusetts
Posts: 2,216
Hi everyone! I hope that you are having a peaceful night. In rereading my post, I kind of cringed because I sounded harsh to my ears. I didn't mean it that way at all. This IS hard, probably the hardest thing we will ever ask of ourselves. I just want you to know that I love you all and want us all to succeed so badly. Please, please let us have the strength that we need to do what we know we must.:praying
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Eclipse....
How about trying this?
Go to the grocery with one of your children.
Then buy enough to last more than one day.
When 3 o'clock comes.....distract yourself with a bubble bath
a walk....read....watch TV....anything but drinking alcohol.
How about seeing a counselor? Make the appointment at 3.
I too took Antabuse in early recovery. That's a good idea too.
Don't forget we AA members are waiting to
welcome you in meetings. We all have been
where you are...we do understand....
How about trying this?
Go to the grocery with one of your children.
Then buy enough to last more than one day.
When 3 o'clock comes.....distract yourself with a bubble bath
a walk....read....watch TV....anything but drinking alcohol.
How about seeing a counselor? Make the appointment at 3.
I too took Antabuse in early recovery. That's a good idea too.
Don't forget we AA members are waiting to
welcome you in meetings. We all have been
where you are...we do understand....
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 120
Hi all... glad to hear people are doing well.
Eclipse, you can do it! We're all in this together... One thing that's helping me right now is the realization of how alcohol really does chemically alter your moods and thoughts. Moreso than just being hungover / bummed that you drank again, it just makes you down and really hinders the chance of having any rational thought.
So with that realization, I decided to put myself on autopilot and work my program while I wait for the imbalance to lessen its grip to the point where I CAN think rationally and make the right decisions.
Don't know if that helps anyone or not, but it's getting me through the day.
Two side notes:
I passed a test last night - sporting event with no beer. Funny how this morning I didn't have to read the paper to hear about the great plays - I could actually remember them this time
And secondly, I LOVE starting to have clear sinuses again. Being able to properly smell/taste after abstaining is so great.
Hope everyone has a great day today!
Eclipse, you can do it! We're all in this together... One thing that's helping me right now is the realization of how alcohol really does chemically alter your moods and thoughts. Moreso than just being hungover / bummed that you drank again, it just makes you down and really hinders the chance of having any rational thought.
So with that realization, I decided to put myself on autopilot and work my program while I wait for the imbalance to lessen its grip to the point where I CAN think rationally and make the right decisions.
Don't know if that helps anyone or not, but it's getting me through the day.
Two side notes:
I passed a test last night - sporting event with no beer. Funny how this morning I didn't have to read the paper to hear about the great plays - I could actually remember them this time
And secondly, I LOVE starting to have clear sinuses again. Being able to properly smell/taste after abstaining is so great.
Hope everyone has a great day today!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
hi Everyone.....
About cravings .....hope this helps
In early sobriety....
I timed my cravings.
They were 5-7 minutes in duration.
Not too long too endure discomfort
.
Soooo....I took action....
Walked...rushed my teeth... Drank cold water...Hard candy
Within 2 weeks...the lessened in both time and intensity.
By 2 or so months .... they vanished.
Now...were they mental or physical?
Darn if I know. Nor do I care.....They were real.
Forward we go...side by side
About cravings .....hope this helps
In early sobriety....
I timed my cravings.
They were 5-7 minutes in duration.
Not too long too endure discomfort
.
Soooo....I took action....
Walked...rushed my teeth... Drank cold water...Hard candy
Within 2 weeks...the lessened in both time and intensity.
By 2 or so months .... they vanished.
Now...were they mental or physical?
Darn if I know. Nor do I care.....They were real.
Forward we go...side by side
Too far from the beach
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 387
Well since I am having to start over again, I will consider myself a part of the class except I need to start my time tomorrow. I already drank today as part of my tapering off a binge deal. I am feeling better already and I know by tomorrow I will be as good as new.
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