flutter

Sorry you're feeling ****** Trish. I am sure, in coming days you will feel so much better. I'm excited for you on that side of it, but I sure do feel for ya right now, feeling so yucky and all. I'm really glad you are posting here again too, worries me when you disappear!

:ghug3

Aysha

This doesnt look good yall. I cant get ahold of this stupid social worker. They steady talking bout they on their way. I am feeling sick as hell to my stomach.

I talked to one of the social workers and she said I was suppose to recetify back in FEB. I never got anyhting in the mail. But she said I should be good for March. But only time will tell when the 7th comes if I am or not.

But right now I feel very weak. Very very weak. My stomach is bubbling and I just feel totally friggin sick to my stomach. This is not good yall. I need to get to the pantry at elast today. I cant be goin through thios right now.

Aysha

I have friggin had it!!!!!!!
Its on when they get here. I am tired of this we on our way ****!
I am so hot right now. This isnt goin to be pretty.
I want to punch holes in walls right now!

CAPTAINZING2000

!!!

Anna

Trish,

You can go to a Salvation Army in your area. They will help you and not turn you away.

You need to take action.

I wish you well.

Aysha

I dont understand..Go to Salvation Army for what?
Still F***in waiting. Still hearing we on our way. My day is gone now. I cant do **** now.
I hope this isnt the moment of truth where they decide to get F**ed up and not come.
I can hardly move my back hurts so bad right now. My script is waiting for me. I just have to go get it. I did this all to myself. I cant be mad at noone but myself. But it doesnt make me feel any calmer.

Mattcake

I hate to know you're suffering You can do it. And you'll be fine. I'm not so sure about the social worker, though.

Anna

Trish, the Salvation Army offers great rehab programs and they are free for anybody. I've known people who have made use of the programs and found a lot of help. It sounds like you're having trouble connecting with the social worker, and I thought this might be an option.

http://www.salvationarmyusa.org/usn/...F?openDocument

Aysha

Thx Anna. I wasnt sure what you meant.
I have treatment all set up. The socail worker is for something else. I just get frustrated with her. Ever since I have had this new one. She has messed my benefits up and is very hard to get ahold of. And she isnt very friendly. Sorry I didnt make that clearer.

I cant even move today. My back is really bad.

As for the van..I dont even want to get into that right now. I am so sick. I need to get the hell in treatment. I am so glad Sat is almost here. Everyone will be home. All this madness will def stop then.

flutter

I hope today is better than yesterday for you

Thinkin of ya! I can't wait for you to feel ok again.

Toomutch

Trish... I am so sorry that you are hurting so badly both mentally and physically. You are in my prayers sweetie. Saturday will be here soon... Hang in there!

TryingSoHard

Hang in there.

Aysha

It hurts to sit..lay down. and lets not even get into walking or standing.
I dont have my pain pills. Not that they would really help anyway.
I just made a nice dinner. Weird combo tho.
Cubed steak with mushrooms and onions and chicken flav stove top. LOL Work with what you got I guess.
I keep hearing those words today for some reason. "You killed your grandfather. Are you trying to kill your grandmother now?"
Gram said she felt bad for saying it. But I deserved it.
Time is dragging. Its getting closer to that time. It cant get here fast enough.
Everyone gets in at 4:30pm Sat.
Sun is goin to be busy getting ready and bright and early to treatment. I hate the intake part. It takes up to 8 hrs sometimes to get your bed. So alot of waitin gin the ER and then in the rehab waiting area and all those wonderful questions. Theres a million of them too. I will get there abotu 8am and prolly wont be in until the earliest 4pm.
But I will be there.

Mattcake

Ugh, Chi! No one deserves to hear stuff like that. I know that your relationship with your Grams is complex, but really... Don't go believing you deserve to be treated that way.

Aysha

My aunt said that to me. When I was beating her door in to give me my money. I have always kept my psychotic episodes away from my aunt and all them. Only my grams and gramps have ever seen that side of me. I really scared her bad. I dont think I ever seen anyone so shook up before. And I did it to her.
I have alot of amends to make.
But that will come in time. First I need to just get goin doin the right thing and let my actions show I am serious about doin this.

NoelleR

Hey chi ---

A little off topic, but this weekend......? Sat/Sun, I know you've got a lot to do, but don't forget it's the start of Daylight Savings Time.....: turn your clock one hour ahead Sat night/Sun morning.......you lose one hour sleep.......(02:00am becomes 03:00am).....

It's good you're going to treatment; make the most of it...... (o:


NoelleR

Aysha

Wow..I didnt even know....Thx. I def dont want to be late to treatment.
Well Its that time again. Sry yall..

gerryP

Chiynita,

I am wow'd by your determination and are truly a living testament to the strength of the human spirit. Truly a Phoenix from the Ashes.

I wish you well in treatment and every day that follows.

All the very best to you.

Gerry

Aysha

I am so sad today for some reason.
Everyone will be home in about an hour or so.
Nothing has changed from when they left.
Thank goodness Mon is almost here.
If they did intake on the weekends I would go tonight.
I found myself second guessing yesterday.
You know the old.."I can do it this time." thinking.
I had to beat that thought out of my head and fast.
I been trying to do it this time for years.
I really am so tired. I have no words to explain it.
All I want to do is cry.

Horselover

Sorry you are feeling down Trish, but very glad you are going in. It can only help.