yeahgr8

Almost 5 months sober and I have started to notice the opposite sex again! After many pointless 'relationships' whilst drinking and pretty much giving up thinking about any sort of relationship for the last 3 years of drinking (i mean really what's the point of bringing misery into someone elses life and then professing to love them, give me a break!!) I have started to look at women and feel things that have been almost dead for so long.

I'm not talking about sex. I mean noticing if a woman smells nice, has a nice feature, looks sexy, talks in a nice voice, has quirks when she talks with her hands or expressions etc.

There is a girl (32) in my office that is as cute as button (she is engaged though so im not going to do anything) and i have been thinking about her and just allowing myself to think how nice it would be to find someone to spend my life with, maybe even a soul mate of sorts. How cool would that be?!

I reckon, with all the greatest gifts i have received so far thanks to my sobriety, this is by far the greatest. To begin to believe that i could have a relationship with someone to care for and love is a huge thing for me:-)

I have been engaged twice and a few other long term relationships besides but they were all bs in hindsight and just having a girlfriend as i didnt want to be alone.

I reckon staying single and keeping working on my sobriety for the rest of this year, keep going to counselling and acting rather than thinking on all of the changes i need to make will mean a guy at the end of the year that i actually love and that will mean i can love someone else i hope in the way it should be, i'll be happy single and with myself and when i do eventually invite someone into my life it will be one filled with hope and love, reckon i might get what i've really always wanted through this sobriety lark;-)

Not making any plans, still living each day, but it would be nice if it is ever meant to be:-)

Anyone else experienced anything like this? or maybe in existing relationships when sobering up?

mamabin

I have. Sometimes I feel like I did when my husband and I first met. When he holds my hand, or just the way he smells. Things I took for granted or was too drunk to even notice. I think it may be the same for him because in alot of ways I'm more like that person that he met 12 years ago. (I was 32)

Anna

Yeahgr,

I think it's great that you are feeling this way. I think it shows that you are feeling good about yourself too and noticing women is part of that experience.

Samsonsworld

All I've noticed is sobriety works a lot like viagra.

Bard

Well I've never been in a serious relationship. The few "relationships" if you can even call them that were usually with loose women who had about as big of a drinking problem or drug addiction as I did. And honestly for a few years I gave up ever trying to find a decent woman who I could possibly spend my life with. Though I think it was something psychologically that made me do that. I tended to shy away from good women thinking myself not all that worthy. Though I do remember 2 in recent memory I went on dates with but my old habit of needing to have a few drinks to warm up blew any chance of getting the second date.

But now with 3 moths under my belt I'm starting to get a change of heart. I don't think I'm ready to try dating again since my first natural instinct is to get a few drinks to get over the first date jitters, not to mention whenever woman problems rears it's ugly head I would drink harder then I normally would. But I am looking forward to trying to date again one day as soon as I mature more in my sobriety. I don't know where the heck I'll meet them, I've usually just hooked up through the bar/party scene but I'll worry about that more when the time comes.

kj3880

Yep, about 3 months into clean time, I noticed that my hormones sorta "woke up." Most of the people I've talked to in recovery say this happened to them about that time. It's kind of like a "Spring is in the air" feeling. I had thought that maybe I was in early menopause because of my lack of interest in men, so this was a nice surprise for me. I'm not presently doing anything about it, but maybe one day I'll meet someone special.

KJ