mac911

Having read the "Big Book" twice and attending numerous meetings at different locales I am in total agreement with lovingmenow(LMN).

I am responsible for my own actions. I am a church going God loving person. God did not do this to me, I did it to myself. God is not going to fix it, I am going to do it.

I may pray for some extra strength and fortitude at times, but the onus is on me.

I could have written the exact sentiments LMN wrote and I agree that AA is a wonderful program for many.

I do not agree with the submission or negativity of the AA program. I do not agree with the vagueness or ambiquity in many of the passages or statements in the book.

I could only imagine what kind of acceptance the book would have received from the medical and public communities today if it were published for the first time right now.

I truely support anyone in our battle with this disease and to use whatever weapons each individual chooses to use. Fight the good fight.

Dee74

I'd hate to see these kind of threads take root here in this forum.

Newbies has always been inclusive not exclusive - if we can't present a range of alternatives and experiences here, and get along while doing it, then we're not doing our jobs IMO.

If you can handle the idea of AA then you're mad not to at least give it a go - and I say that as a non AAer. The support and community AA offers, and it's availabilty, is impressive.

If, however like me, you can't handle the idea - and I've seen many a valid reason - then there's a whole other range of things to try.

It's down to you basically no matter what you do anyway.

I will say this tho - I've been doing this for nearly 2 years now...

quitting and staying quit has nothing to do at all with willpower - addictions not that logical - and it has everything to do with surrender...

I not only had to admit defeat where alcohol is concerned; that was unpalatable enough...but I also had to admit I didn't know everything, and I needed help.

Not drinking just isn't enough - you have to challenge your attitudes too.

That thing you don't want to do - whether it be AA, rehab, just 'coming out' as an alkie...whatever...it might just make the difference.

D

CarolD

Best wishes for everyone's healthy sober future.

James13

What I have noticed is that my AA experience varies from meeting to meeting. Some I will never go back to, some I will, and some I really enjoy.

And the ones I enjoy have people I can relate to, people who are trying to become better people all around (not just sober), and people who are open minded and not judgmental about me. There really isn't much more to it for me- I am enjoying the process when I am around what I like and what helps me be a better person. If MY method is not your cup of tea, then more power to you. I still hope everyone here finds what is best for them, because I care about you people.

Nobody has walked in each other's shoes, so judging people's methods of making their lives better seems kind of selfish and narrow to me. But that's just my opinion.

Part of my recovery as a person is to stay away from negativity because it sucks me in, and has in the past. Then I get really judgemental, closed minded, and void of compassion.

But that's JUST ME.

Aysha

Like politics and religion..I stay out of these conversations. LOL

LosingmyMisery

I attended AA for 2 years before I concluded that it was not for me. I think many people go to a few meetings and decide "that's it", not for me. I thought the same thing, but sucked it up and got sober. Try not to make a hasty decision and have an open mind. I did several things that were waaaaaay outside of my comfort zone. I don't regret it one bit. I'm sober today. Many people who decided the program does not suit them are still struggling with sobriety. Go ahead and decide the program isn't for you, but get a back up plan. It just doesn't work well going it alone. I tried for years and failed. Today, I have a good solid foundation to base my sobriety on. Something I wouldn't have after attending a few meetings and calling it quits because I felt uncomfortable.

littlefish

Welcome lovinme!
You've got some interesting points there.

This is discussed quite a bit in the meetings I go to. (I don't go to AA in the US, so maybe there is a difference here in Europe). There is a sizeable portion of athiests at my meetings and a lot of respect shown to those who don't accept the traditional view of God. It sounds like you've maybe had the God idea tossed at you in a controlling way. That's too bad, and it really shouldn't be like that. The big book makes it clear that we don't have to all agree on what God is, and in fact the term "higher power" is often used. At one of my meetings, several of us defined higher power as the force of nature, as power in ourselves, etc, and no one there took issue with our "alternative" views.

Well, maybe the idea here is that we admit we are powerless in the face of alcohol. We already surrendered to it, lol...

I haven't really heard anyone tell me AA is the only way. In fact, I use AA as just one of my tools in sobriety. I have an addicton therapist and also use this forum and keep a diary and ....well, I do a variety of things. I think the message here is: use what helps you!
About the statement: "You will always be an alcoholic". That is certainly a tough statement for anyone to wrap their brain around, I agree. I don't know why I am an alcoholic. It might very well be hereditary. It could be a chemical imbalance in my brain. It could be my background, (two alcoholic parents)....I don't know why, I just know that I am. I tried controling my drinking for 35 years, and it never worked. So, I have accepted that I will always be an alcoholic. But, that doesn't mean that I always have to drink.
Well, I'm not offended! You've gotten some good suggestions here for alternatives to AA, I think everyone has agreed on one thing: whatever works for you is the right program.

shaun00

This is great......great to see alcoholics and addicts passionate about their sobriety or clean time and how they did it/do it....

Better than being s....t faced and chatting absolute nonsense right?..lol

Bottom line for me is... i try to have the humility to accept other ways other than AA.....and Im a solid aa guy.

I have a deep love and respect for all of you....why?....because you all know what it was like......you know what it feels like to be powerless and lost.

Even my loved ones dont know what that FEELS like but you all do.

Thats why i keep coming back.....and listening because no matter if you do AA or NA or CA...or standing on your head in a bucket of s...t.

BOTTOM LINE is you know whats its like.............and that is all that matters to me.

ONE ALCOHOLIC OR ADDICT SHARING WITH ANOTHER..........WORKS.

However you do it or what ever you wanna call it....................trucker

gerryP

aasharon,

I would never, ever, put cancer in the same sentence as alcoholism when comparing a disease. The hair on the back of my neck just stood up! Many like to believe in the disease model. I don't.

gerryP

Or diabetes for that matter.

SeaHorse

lovinmenow...how long have you been sober? And what method are you using to achieve your sobriety that works for YOU?

Everyone is different! And I keep an open mind, and if you are sober and happy keep doing what is working for YOU!

coffeenut

SR is my AA. It works for me.

Have a good day, all..........it's Friday! Have a sober weekend, however you choose to do it!

butchville

i found that the same with me talking about drink all the time made me really depressed when i left

doorknob

Thanks for posting the article, Sandy. I recognized the website right away, lol.

nelco

Since I joined these boards I have noticed many of these threads and I cant help wondering why so many?? I hear a lot of people explain the reasons why A.A does not work for them....why the need I wonder. Why does it bother people so much? I mean how important is it?? I tried lots of ways to get sober that did not work for me, ......I just moved on. Maybe people could share how long they are sober, and happy ,and content, and the ways in which they achieved long term soberity. is that not really what is been looked for here??

SeaHorse

I think that is an excellent idea Nelco...maybe you could start a thread asking people who have achieved long-term sobriety..and what method worked for them...

I just don't like to engage in debate about stuff like AA, or if alcoholism is a disease or not...what difference does it make..i

I don't care if it's a disease or not...I just know from past experience that my life gets better when I stop drinking! And I feel good when I go to AA! But that is me..and I don't hear people 'bit---ing' about drinking...I hear inspiring stories of people with long-term sobriety who are very positive and have a great life!

That's why I asked the OP how long she had been sober...because...if you have any length of sobriety...please share what worked for YOU....

I guess it's kind of like religion in a way..this being sober business...seems like many paths.....no wrong or right....just what's effective for the individual...!!! I just don't like it when I see AA mischaracterized....it can make people not even TRY meetings..that's what happened to me..many moons ago...I heard someone say...oh AA is a bunch of holy rollers..and that turned me off of AA for years..til I went myself...and it is so not true..I am agnostic...and so is the person who chaired the meeting...

This forum is wonderful...another tool in the toolbox of sobriety...we need all the help we can get!!! Just dont' drink or drug today! Hugs.

Bard

I tried AA in the past and I admit it's a good program for people who connect with it. But no matter how hard I tried I could not get into it. Most of the people I met there were nice, free coffee, and you can come and go anytime you wish but it just wasn't for me. I'm finding my own program and what works for me.

I'm not totally against going back if for anything just to meet and talk with some people. There's currently no other option of meetings around here, free ones anyway. And add in being unemployed it would be nice to get out and interact with some people. But hey for now SR is working for me.

Dee74

I think there's a lot of 'anti AA' threads for the same reason there's a lot of 'pro AA' ones - everyone wants to help, in that spirit, a lot of people share their experience/push whatever they believe

Bottom line is we all have a responsibility to find something that works...and then work whatever that may be until we drop

D

sailorjohn

No offense taken, what program of recovery you decide on is your choice, naturally. But ignorance of the facts of alcoholism is dangerous, IMO. While AA may have been an early proponent of the idea that alcoholism is a disease, they aren't the only group that supports the idea that alcoholism fits the criteria for a disease. There are stickies posted with excerpts from "Under The Influence" posted here, and quite a few books have been published on the subject of alcoholism, but be aware that most of then also follow the alcohol as a disease model. Good luck.

James13

This is an older post, but wow, did this clear things up for me about AA and "surrender". I have been to some NA meetings now, although not religiously.

I always had a hard time with this notion- to "surrender" to our drug of choice. I thought "Surrender? NO, I am going to claim victory over it!" Now I realize I had it all wrong. To claim victory over the drug is claiming to be able to use it without it controlling my life. I don't think trying that again is a good idea.

So "surrender"- ok, I have it now. I surrender: meaning- I surrender to the notion that I can't "handle" using the drug. Which does essentially mean I surrender to it! If I do not use because of this reason, that is surrender!

Thanks, littlefish, for clearing up the surrender thing for me. It makes sense.