Ananda

why does the bath water get cold before i get around to getting in

Now i gotta start over and dexter is on in 50 minites and my pizza is getting cold!!!!!!

dancinggirl

....like a hot, steaming, stinky, goopy, bacteria-filled lump of humanity?

Bamboozle

Hey, ananda...that reminds me...


I used to live in an apartment where the heater and the hot water would shut off randomly during the cold winter months. During those times, I remember filling up the tub partially and then boiling water on the stove to bring up the tub temperature to slightly about freezing just so I could get clean.

Ah...those were the days...




Another cliche. I think I have a problem.

Dee74

just lucky I guess

D

Ananda

wow...I feel human

Bamboozle

Ananda, wanna trade? I'll be human, and you can be...



Kidding! I wouldn't do that to you!

Rusty Zipper

ok, now most of you that know me...

know me as a perty mello guy, the go with the flow bit...

the life on lifes terms one...

well, i'm on my way to the flea market, its 5 am in the morning...

i stop at the only open handy dandy get gas and coffee joint...

as i walk in, the lady behind the counter is yap'n on the phone ( you know where this ones headed)

i make my coffee, and go to the counter, shes'a stil yap'n...

now,i was taught, one doesnt know what the reality is of what can be so important... a sickness, some crises, a sick child...

as i stand there waiting, tapping my foot, hey, i'm better... not cured!

i hear her say, hey Muriel.. did you know Turkey Hill ice cream is on sale at Shop-Rite...

Hey Laaaaaaady!, if you dont get off the phone... Pronto...

you might not make it to Shop-Rite!

The Nerve!

Dee74

Horselover

My whine - Electricity in our town, the town next to us, and my Mom's town all out due to a storm. It was out for 25 hours. Freezer food "hopefully" okay - Fridge food I doubt it. I can't believe we may have to restock our food supply and many know the financial situation of Horselover - it ain't pretty! Oh well - at least we have power now and boy do I not take it for granted presently!

SelfSeeking

I want to drink, and there's no alcohol in the house, and this state doesn't have alcohol sales on Sunday, and the nearest bar is half a block away but I live in the hood and it's not safe to walk there.

It doesn't feel like there's a point to being sober anymore.

Horselover

SS - I think the universe is speaking to you. Don't do it. Point to being sober is to save your life. What's the REAL problem?

SelfSeeking

I am afraid my program won't let me come back in the spring and I'll have no purpose. I have always wanted to be what I was training for. As long as I could remember. Not drinking couldn't save it, so why should I keep struggling like this?

I wonder if the bar closes at 10 on Sundays. I am still weighing whether to chance the walk.

Dee74

you said it all - you're afraid. Is this a certainty? could you change schools?
From what I know you're a good student, and this is down to one paper, isn't it?.
I can't see them letting you go.

There are avenues to chase up - best do that sober.

I had my dark time this week - if I had drunk, I wouldn't be back where I am now.
I'm sorry things look bleak but there's no point in pouring gas on an existing fire, K.

D

Ananda

ss...keep posting and so what ever you have to do to get through...it's worth it. Would it help to call your sponsor too? or someone you just like that can talk to you in real time and help you through? we are all here for you too!!!!! (((hug)))

Horselover

Wow - I can feel the anger and sadness in that. I don't want to say too much because it is obvious how upset you are about this and you don't want to hear a bunch of cliches, but is that program the one and only reason you gave up drinking? I would think, given time - lots of time, the outlook on this may change. You are too close to this right now to see anything but the disappointment. All I can say is I am sorry SS. I am really sorry.

I just reread that first sentence of yours, "I am afraid my program won't let me come back in the spring. You don't definitely know that?

Dee74

ps hugs K

D

Horselover

Well, once again, Dee has put it into words much better then I can.

"I had my dark time this week - if I had drunk, I wouldn't be back where I am now.
I'm sorry things look bleak but there's no point in pouring gas on an existing fire, K."

Listen to the man SS - for he knows what he speaks of.

SelfSeeking

No, nothing is certain right now. I will start meeting with people this week. Key people have said things that imply it's a leave of absence as a matter of course... but the longer the possibility is there that I could be done here, the more I think about what that would mean.

I love this career... it's been almost like a vocation. If I lose it I don't know what I'll do.

I'm not walking to the bar, I'm too tired and upset. So I'm sober tonight.

SelfSeeking

Seems like the wave passed. I'm still having these crazy thoughts. I could drive there, take 3 shots of vodka very quickly, and drive home before they all kicked in.

Dee74

Crazy thoughts are just that. :crazy ...and just thoughts.
You're a good student from all I know about you.

I've seen many students, way less promising than yourself, and way more in the poo than you, manage to continue.

One thing I do know is that getting drunk won't change any of this. You're so worried I doubt it will even make you forget in the short term. It certainly won't make you feel better tomorrow.

I dunno where exactly you live but it may even make things worse, if you get seen being out and about and drunk and disorderly, or if you hit something on the way back from those mythical '3 shots' you speak of....

This is yr dream. Don't abandon it.
You have a lot you can do before you give up hope K - so don't.
D