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Old 02-15-2008, 12:01 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Trying Again


Hi,

I am 48 years old and I am addicted to marijuana and cocaine. I have been for the last 10 years. When I first started using crack 10 years ago, I smoked it from the glass pipe. It only took about 3 or 4 months before I was in big trouble. I was spending about $1500 a month. I got in trouble with the law and went to jail for 7 days. Fortunately, I had the money to pay a good lawyer so I wound up with only probation. I went into rehab (outpatient) and stopped crack for about 6 months. I was still smoking pot though. I had smoked pot off and on since I was 13 years old and I did not feel that it was that destructive. It was when I got involved in crack that I lost all control.

After being clean for 6 months, I got the brilliant idea to mix crack in my joint. The high was not as good but it made things easier to control. I could still work and not go crazy as I had before.

I continued this practice since 1998. I averaged spending about $50-$75 a day for all those years. While I had a good job (which I recently lost), I thought I could afford the price. But the toll has really added up. I have over $100K in credit card debt now.

I decided that I MUST stop now. I am too old and too tired to do this nonsense any longer. I stopped on Feb. 1st but then gave in again on Feb. 7th. I also gave in on Tuesday of this week. After coming home, I told my wife to take my keys and my credit cards, etc. I am basically a prisoner in my own house right now but I don't know what else to do.

I hope to find some help and encouragement on this site.

--JPHartford (not my real name)
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Old 02-15-2008, 12:13 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR

I am sure people who have experience with drugs will reply soon. But you can check out the NA section.
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Old 02-15-2008, 03:28 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Hi, I am also in my 40s and today am trying yet again to get sober, alcohol is my addiction, I have drunk for 30 years and have had a problem for at least 15 of them. I have tried to get sober many times. I just wanted to say that you are not alone and I am sure that you will get lots of help and support from people who are dealing with the same issues as you. Good luck.
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Old 02-15-2008, 03:47 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Hi JP,

Welcome!

It sounds like you're ready to make some changes in your life.

There is lots of support here, so keep posting.
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Old 02-15-2008, 04:16 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Hi and welcome. Have you thought of going to NA or AA? I know it is working for me. i can't stay clean and sober on my own. Please keep posting.
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Old 02-15-2008, 08:48 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR!

My drinking did not get out of hand
until I was 43. I started AA at 48.
Finally quit drinking at 53.

I'm giving you the ages so you can
see....Recovery is possible for you too.

I'm now 72 and enjoying life...

Out of the house and into NA.
That is my suggestion.

Blesings to you and your wife
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Old 02-16-2008, 05:00 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Thanks for the support. I have been to AA a few years back but never to NA. I will try it again. I didn't find much help there before but I am sure the problem was me not them.
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Old 02-16-2008, 06:26 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Best wishes JP.

Hang around, this forum has lots of friendly people who understand the struggle.
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Old 02-18-2008, 08:57 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Hi folks,

A little update on myself. I made it through the weekend without using. I now have 6 days sober. I also started a new job today. Believe me I was worried, I am so far in debt that if I didnt get a job soon, I would lose my house.

My wife and I watched the HBO series on Addiction: Why Can't they Just Stop? this weekend. I got a lot out of it and she did too. I think she understands the nature of addiction a little better now.

Anyway, I am encouraged about the future and I hope this encourages someone else too.

JPHartford
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Old 02-18-2008, 09:14 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Glad you made it through the weekend. I'm an alcoholic, but I also spent a few years in my early twenties addicted to coke and meth. It's not an easy thing to go through.
What worked for me, was 2-3 weeks in an inpatient treatment, followed by 6 weeks in intensive outpatient. Then, to be honest, I basically locked myself up in my parents house for the better part of 6 months. I had to stop hanging out in the same places, with the same people etc.
For alcoholism, I worked the 12 steps of AA. And let me tell you friend, it was a much easier recovery. I have not had to white knuckle it, I don't live in feer of alcohol as I did the drugs long after I had quit. The obsession was removed.

Hope this helps you make a decision. Pm me if you have any questions, and good luck.
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Old 02-18-2008, 09:28 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Glad you made it through the weekend. I'm an alcoholic, but I also spent a few years in my early twenties addicted to coke and meth. It's not an easy thing to go through.
What worked for me, was 2-3 weeks in an inpatient treatment, followed by 6 weeks in intensive outpatient. Then, to be honest, I basically locked myself up in my parents house for the better part of 6 months. I had to stop hanging out in the same places, with the same people etc.
For alcoholism, I worked the 12 steps of AA. And let me tell you friend, it was a much easier recovery. I have not had to white knuckle it, I don't live in feer of alcohol as I did the drugs long after I had quit. The obsession was removed.

Hope this helps you make a decision. Pm me if you have any questions, and good luck.

Thanks for the encouragement. I do wish that I could go to an inpatient treatment facility but I can't because I can't be out of work that long. My wife is basically running a rehab for me in our house. She has my keys, my credit cards, everything (I am able to work from home via computer).

I bought the HBO series on Addiction over the weekend and Have watched the whole 14 hours. I found it helpful. I am talking on the phone with a friend who has been sober for 2 years. I am coming on this site to find help. I really, really, want to make it work. This is my plan for the moment but I know at some time, I will have to go out on my own and face the temptation head on. I am not strong enough today.

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Old 02-18-2008, 10:44 AM   #12 (permalink)
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My parents basically did that to me as well. I stayed locked up in their basement for like 6 months. Which sounds bad, but there was a pool table and a big screen, so it wasn't a dungeon or anything. It was tough love and it worked.
It seems strange that I would say it worked even though I later had to go to aa, but I was brought up believing certain drugs were acceptable. mi vida loca.
When I went to AA, it was much easier than that. I went not only for booze but for other drugs as well, mainly weed and benzo's(like xanax, valium).
I definitely prefer the latter method. In my experience, working a 12 step program does much more for you than just taking away the obsession to use. It helps you build a life worth living while cleaning up the mess I made of my life and my relationships.
See where the NA groups meet in your area, it might be good for your wife to look into some alanon as well.
and again, let me know if I can do anything to help, and don't worry about staying clean forever, take it one day at a time.
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Old 02-18-2008, 10:49 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Red face

Whew!! I am glad I found this site. I am addicted to cocaine,pills and alcohol. I am hoping to become sober for good this time. I have been addicted for going on 11 years now and have had brief periods of sobriety. The most was a 30 day period while in rehab. That was almost 6 years ago. I lost custody of my children when I went to rehab. I have not seen them in several years. To make things even more complicated, my current husband is an addict as well. I have left him several times in order to get my own life together, but my disease always leads me back. I hope that I can get some feedback from people. This time I have been clean for 4 days. HELP
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Old 02-18-2008, 11:11 AM   #14 (permalink)
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He wanta. Glad your here. It is definately a good first stop on the recovery highway. It is amazing the lengths we will go to for our disease, and how far down we have to go to get sober. Sharing with others is a good start. I have found the more I contribute to this site, the more I get from it.
I have been sober for nine months now. No pills, no pot, no booze. I did it with AA but there are many options out there.
I wish you the best and hope to see you around.
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Old 02-18-2008, 11:58 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Whew!! I am glad I found this site. I am addicted to cocaine,pills and alcohol. I am hoping to become sober for good this time. I have been addicted for going on 11 years now and have had brief periods of sobriety. The most was a 30 day period while in rehab. That was almost 6 years ago. I lost custody of my children when I went to rehab. I have not seen them in several years. To make things even more complicated, my current husband is an addict as well. I have left him several times in order to get my own life together, but my disease always leads me back. I hope that I can get some feedback from people. This time I have been clean for 4 days. HELP
Here is my opinion--FWIW.

It will be next to impossible to stay clean while living with an addict. If there is anyway to get into another rehab--do it. Just because the first one did not "take" does not mean its a waste of time. If you cannot, then I would suggest getting out and living with someone who is not an addict (another family member or friend). Even if its only for a week or so to get your head together.

Find an AA or NA close to you and go. Get a sponsor. Be willing to receive help. IT WILL NEVER GET BETTER ON ITS OWN
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Old 02-18-2008, 12:43 PM   #16 (permalink)
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just to point out why this site is great, jphar posted this thread one of his first posts
after 10 or so responses, he is helping someone just trying to get sober
even though he does have some sober time, he is newish here

thought it was great
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