Trying Again
Hi,
I am 48 years old and I am addicted to marijuana and cocaine. I have been for the last 10 years. When I first started using crack 10 years ago, I smoked it from the glass pipe. It only took about 3 or 4 months before I was in big trouble. I was spending about $1500 a month. I got in trouble with the law and went to jail for 7 days. Fortunately, I had the money to pay a good lawyer so I wound up with only probation. I went into rehab (outpatient) and stopped crack for about 6 months. I was still smoking pot though. I had smoked pot off and on since I was 13 years old and I did not feel that it was that destructive. It was when I got involved in crack that I lost all control.
After being clean for 6 months, I got the brilliant idea to mix crack in my joint. The high was not as good but it made things easier to control. I could still work and not go crazy as I had before.
I continued this practice since 1998. I averaged spending about $50-$75 a day for all those years. While I had a good job (which I recently lost), I thought I could afford the price. But the toll has really added up. I have over $100K in credit card debt now.
I decided that I MUST stop now. I am too old and too tired to do this nonsense any longer. I stopped on Feb. 1st but then gave in again on Feb. 7th. I also gave in on Tuesday of this week. After coming home, I told my wife to take my keys and my credit cards, etc. I am basically a prisoner in my own house right now but I don't know what else to do.
I hope to find some help and encouragement on this site.
--JPHartford (not my real name)