Dee74

Last part here:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...rt-1-a-20.html

D

Lixie

Shotgun!

Lixie

Ok, that smiley is not representative of my state of mind right now. It's day six and I have been sobbing most of the morning. I have no reason to be sad, and still I'm caught in this strange cycle of crying/sobbing/hyperventilating/repeat. It's exhuausting.

ToughChoices

That sounds really tiring, Lixie.

But probably also quite healthy?!

When I stopped using substances to block all of the emotions that were inconvenient for others/me (anger, sorrow, fear, frustration, etc…), the emotions flowed.

I had a lot of feeling squashed down into an acceptable-looking package. I was a mess who could do a decent impression of a healthy person. Now I am a messy, not always acceptable-looking healthy person.

Glennon Doyle writes, “ If you are uncomfortable — in deep pain, angry, yearning, confused — you don’t have a problem, you have a life. Being human is not hard because you’re doing it wrong, it’s hard because you’re doing it right.”

Love that. Keep feeling.

You are doing it right.

Lixie

Oh TC, thank you for those wonderful words. They make a lot of sense. I am doing it right. <3 <3 <3

Takeaction

Good morning SR! Good to see everybody 😊

I’ve been feeling a bit down but nothing I can’t shake. Day 105 today.

GingerSnow

Citrus! I'm so very very sorry for your loss.

Lixie, just reading everything you had to bake today made me tired! I'm sorry you're feeling so raw today. I get those days too sometimes.

Shamrock and everyone else, hello!

Took my shower today and didn't know it might be the last time I can use water for awhile. Waiting on a plumber to call me back. Foul nasty stuff coming up in the downstairs drain. Water issues are never cheap. We have a well and septic system, and whenever there is a water issue, it usually means my bank account will be much less after it's fixed. Sigh.

I will not drink over this. I was supposed to go to my daughters school to see her cullinary presentation today. It just started, and I'm stuck here at home waiting on a plumber just to call me back. I will not drink. I will not cry. Okay, I might cry. Ugh, I will not cry. I feel like a failure and I know that's irrational, but there are only a few weeks left of 'last things' for her highschool experience and I'm missing this one.

Caramel

^ A pity things worked out that way, GingerSnow: I hope the plumbing gets fixed urgently anyway.

- getting along - thank you, Dee
Hope you are too.

samwitch

Hey folks-
All good here. Went for a run today, first time in a while and it felt great to get back out there.

BassetDog

Hello fellow Marchers - checking in after a busy day at work. Have a pretty low key evening planned. Looking forward to the new episode of Mandalorian that airs tonight (at least I think it airs tonight). I may check in on an online SMART meeting as well.

Hope everyone has a great day! I'm committed to 24 more.

Backtogood

Day 9. I'm still nauseous and feel like crap. Anybody have the nausea last this long? 👀 I started my new job today, I think I really am going to like it. I had the thought I will stop and grab a half pint just so I feel well enough to eat and drink, but that's just stupid.

Shamrock51

Hey everyone,
I had a really hard day today. Today was day 2. It is not that I wanted to drink, I just felt still bad from the hangover from my bender. It was awful. To say that I crawled through a day at work is an understatement. I still had a headache all day long and my stomach was a mess. But......I made it, and I am very proud of myself. Alcohol is POISON for me. I really do believe that something happens in us biologically that is irreversible and our relationship with alcohol is never again the same.

So, weary day but I did it. Day 2. Thanks to my higher power for giving me the strength. I had NO urge to cave, just disgust that I could have put myself in this position yet again. It amazes me that just drinking for a week---and not even that much---made me feel so horrible after 2 years of sobriety. Thanks for listening and hugs to you all, wherever you are in your journey.

Anna

TC, I love Glennon Doyle and that's one of my favourite quotes from her. And, I love this one, too:

"I'm not a mess, but a deeply feeling person in a messy world. When someone asks me why I cry so often, I say, 'For the same reason I laugh so often - because I'm paying attention'. I tell them that we can choose to be perfect and admired or to be real and loved. We must decide."

Offthemast

Hey guys. Day 37. Had to come down to Coastal Alabama. Mom was admitted to hospital. She has multiple things going on so docs are trying to figure it out. Dad is there 24/7 so Im here helping out w dog n other things. Dont have urge to drink as pancreas still likes to act up. Eating better though. Not sure how long Ill be here.

Would love to play some golf n I might. Stomach just likes to roar when I get active. Have ordered quite a few workout shorts, shoes, pic kleball racket, golf clubs, etc since this Pancreatitis hit me last summer. Lol. So ready to be able to be active. Especially w Spring springing.

My moms mini poodle doesn't know what to do w herself. She's attached to my moms hip. Its sad to watch her mope. Anyway, done rambling. Have a beautiful day/ night folks.

Erratic

morning all xx
day 4 and i am not working today, so i wont be tempted to drink tonight so all is good x
nothing much is planned for today again just taking it easy. did my journal.
love the quotes that have been posted x grand job on everyones time x BTG sry your still feeling sick i hope it passes soon and if it doesnt you maybe best is to get checked out hun xx
have a great thursday everoyone xx

Dee74

congrats on day 4 Erratic day 9 BtG and congrats also to you Lixie on day 6 and Shamrock on day 2 - it gets easier,. honestly
best wishes for your mom, offthemast - congrats on day 37

hi BassetDog and Sam, and Anna

I'm sorry GingerSnow - sometime we just cant be everywhere at once - it's not down to some fault in you - sounds like you have some dodgy plumbing - totally not in your control.

I hope your daughter will understand

I'm good ty Caramel

D

Lixie

BTG, hope that the nausea wears off eventually.

Hello to all fellow marchers!

I had a horrible day yesterday. It started with tears only, continued with sobbing, and then I flat out felt terrible and agitated, and hadn't my partner come home from work early to be with me I don't know what would have happened. But I knuckled through and I am proud to say that I am on day 7.

My cafe is open Friday through Sunday, and the other days I'm preparing for mayhem. So today I am making what we call "school bread", which is nothing like bread at all. It is a sweet, brioche style bun with a custard center, dipped in a mixture of icing sugar and milk, topped with shredded coconut. I am also making sourdough rolls again, and I have prepared oatmeal cookies and red velvet cookies that just need to be baked..Since I wasn't feeling good yesterday I still need to make six carrot cakes, a vegan chocolate cake, a couple of brownies with caramel sauce and marshmallows, blueberry muffins and some chocolate bombs for hot chocolate filled with sprinkles, mini marshmallows and O'Boy (the Norwegian equivalent of Nesquick). And I'm serving Chili con Carne tomorrow, which I have to prepare today. Oh, and the cafe itself needs to be tidied and cleaned.

What are your plans for this morning/day/evening?

RunnerF

Toughchoices. Thanks for the spot on quote. It is what I needed today.


Pledging for today. Day 172.

Shamrock51

Good morning, everyone. Day 3 today, and I feel so much more human. I actually slept pretty well last night, albeit some bizarre dreams, but my headache that seemed for days is finally gone and my mood is significantly better. I have had some excellent communications with my wife about my need to really take care of myself while trying to help her navigate the tough waters of a retirement that, to her, feels forced. She is significantly more interested in doing some worthwhile part-time work that I think would do wonders for her mood, socialization, etc.
Drinking coffee and not dreading work which feels amazing. I hope everyone has an amazing sober day and take care to all!

ToughChoices

Good morning, everyone!

Liz, your baking list sounds delicious. What lucky customers you have! I'm glad to hear that you were able to take some time and feel all the feelings. In my experience, the feelings get less intense as time goes on. Still there, still need to be acknowledged, but not as likely to wipe you out!

Offthemast, I'm thinking of your family today. Sorry that you are walking through some health struggles, but glad that you get to be there to help your folks out. Golf sounds like a good way to spend some time outside.

Basset - great to hear your 24 hour commitment. You are doing so well!

I'm glad that you were able to enjoy a run, Samwitch. Getting sweaty outside is good for my brain.

Gingersnow - the plumbing problems are a bummer. It's such a blessing to be able to call someone who can help! The timing of the whole debacle was tough, but, as a teenager, I was able to understand those kinds of complications. I'm sure your daughter will be ok. Maybe she can do the demonstration for you again at home? A personal performance?

Shamrock, Erratic, and Backtogood -good job working through the difficult physical and emotional symptoms of early days! My withdrawal was from prescription pain medication so my timeframe for feeling terrible was a little different than many. withdrawing from alcohol. My worst day was probably day 9 or 10 (as far as aching, nausea, and existential misery), and then things started looking up. In general, I think it's normal to expect to feel like a big pile of poop for 7-14 days. Once the physical difficulty subsides, the mental game can ramp up, which is why participation here on SR, in-person or online AA, NA, or SMART meetings, and ongoing personal education on the nature of chemical addiction are so important.

Runner, I am always encouraged to hear your day count and see your posts. You are awesome. Keep up the good work!

Thanks Dee and Anna! Sorry to anyone that I missed!