Class of August 2021 Support Thread Part 9
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: East Coast US
Posts: 1,837
Congrats, Bodhi!!!! On both counts.
You asked me in a previous post for a few "tips" on the career front, but sounds like you don't need them. I will share them anyway. (I was also in big finance for most of my career.) One that my favorite boss gave to me over 30 years ago. It was to try to always conduct as much of your business dealing with your co-workers in person or on the phone...do not rely on e-mail or back then for me it was "interoffice memos". (Geez, I can remember when e-mail first came out). Anyway, he told me to always just pick up the phone or walk to someone's office and speak to them. I never forgot that and a lot of people used to ask me why I called them to respond to their e-mail instead of writing back. As we all know, so much gets lost in translation, you can't hear the inflection in someone's voice, etc. I think it also can be useful in "disarming" certain situations where people tend to hide behind e-mail.
The other was to always make sure your boss's boss knows who you are and what your contributions are. The decisions to promote are rarely made by your own boss...they often have to go to their boss for approval. If that boss doesn't know who you are, or what your contributions to the firm are, promotions can be long and slow. Don't rely on your own boss "to toot your horn." You have to toot your own horn, even to the boss's boss. I learned that the hard way but once I did, things started moving very quickly.
Best of luck to you in your new role!
LHW
You asked me in a previous post for a few "tips" on the career front, but sounds like you don't need them. I will share them anyway. (I was also in big finance for most of my career.) One that my favorite boss gave to me over 30 years ago. It was to try to always conduct as much of your business dealing with your co-workers in person or on the phone...do not rely on e-mail or back then for me it was "interoffice memos". (Geez, I can remember when e-mail first came out). Anyway, he told me to always just pick up the phone or walk to someone's office and speak to them. I never forgot that and a lot of people used to ask me why I called them to respond to their e-mail instead of writing back. As we all know, so much gets lost in translation, you can't hear the inflection in someone's voice, etc. I think it also can be useful in "disarming" certain situations where people tend to hide behind e-mail.
The other was to always make sure your boss's boss knows who you are and what your contributions are. The decisions to promote are rarely made by your own boss...they often have to go to their boss for approval. If that boss doesn't know who you are, or what your contributions to the firm are, promotions can be long and slow. Don't rely on your own boss "to toot your horn." You have to toot your own horn, even to the boss's boss. I learned that the hard way but once I did, things started moving very quickly.
Best of luck to you in your new role!
LHW
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,345
Happy Sober Sunday, everyone!
Plugging along here, feeling out of sorts, two persons that cause me great angst and haven’t been nice reached out to us this week, and I decided to pony up, be a BIG girl and text my brother, the one I let go of last year, about whether he wanted a pic of our 4 great grandma on our dads side. He didn’t respond at all, typical, but he has “read receipts” on, to let me know he’s actively ignoring me. Feels good to keep things right on my side of the street.
Thankfully, my daughter responded and is seeing if ex hubby will store it.
So, uncomfortable this week, crappy sleep, last night was the fourth night this week. I’ve gained weight on my 8 week adventure from home, and snacking at night isn’t helping.
On Monday I’m going to ask my PCP for an antihistamine based sleeping pill. Tuesday I go in for a surgical consult about bunions. I’m stressing, because it’s NEVER a good time to be not active.
LHW, hope your eyes are working more clearly now, and your having a good time at the condo(s).
James and LHW, Lake Lotawana was great, wonderful walks, wonderful golf, 2 pars and a hoked shot from the bunker at Indian Hills course in Mission Hills, and dinner at Jack Stacks! Wow, I remember when that was at 134th and Wornall in the boonies and called Smokestack. Now it’s just a part of suburbia. We ate at the newer one near 470.
SS, hope things are looking brighter and your kitties are offering good comfort. Drop us a line, eh?
James, how’s the job? Bet the income is nice again. Hope your exercise regimen and family are enhancing your life in positive ways.
Viking, how are things? Any cool patient stories? Cool trip stories? Cool about where you will hang the glass sculpture/wall hanging.
NL, would love to hear from you too, although I keep up,with you pretty well on Morning Grats ❤️
Plugging along here, feeling out of sorts, two persons that cause me great angst and haven’t been nice reached out to us this week, and I decided to pony up, be a BIG girl and text my brother, the one I let go of last year, about whether he wanted a pic of our 4 great grandma on our dads side. He didn’t respond at all, typical, but he has “read receipts” on, to let me know he’s actively ignoring me. Feels good to keep things right on my side of the street.
Thankfully, my daughter responded and is seeing if ex hubby will store it.
So, uncomfortable this week, crappy sleep, last night was the fourth night this week. I’ve gained weight on my 8 week adventure from home, and snacking at night isn’t helping.
On Monday I’m going to ask my PCP for an antihistamine based sleeping pill. Tuesday I go in for a surgical consult about bunions. I’m stressing, because it’s NEVER a good time to be not active.
LHW, hope your eyes are working more clearly now, and your having a good time at the condo(s).
James and LHW, Lake Lotawana was great, wonderful walks, wonderful golf, 2 pars and a hoked shot from the bunker at Indian Hills course in Mission Hills, and dinner at Jack Stacks! Wow, I remember when that was at 134th and Wornall in the boonies and called Smokestack. Now it’s just a part of suburbia. We ate at the newer one near 470.
SS, hope things are looking brighter and your kitties are offering good comfort. Drop us a line, eh?
James, how’s the job? Bet the income is nice again. Hope your exercise regimen and family are enhancing your life in positive ways.
Viking, how are things? Any cool patient stories? Cool trip stories? Cool about where you will hang the glass sculpture/wall hanging.
NL, would love to hear from you too, although I keep up,with you pretty well on Morning Grats ❤️
❤️
Member
Join Date: Nov 2020
Posts: 517
Morning all,
LHW, thank you for the advice!! I definitely should be better about calling/in person. I’m virtual right now so sending chats is king and I try to avoid with meetings but people get annoyed with that too lol.
Venuscat and Free sorry to hear of the health struggles. I hope it gets sorted sooner rather than later and you both are feeling better soon.
Free, ugh estranged/toxic family is so difficult to deal with. I like your attitude of being proud of keeping your side of the street clean. Hopefully you can settle back into a routine and pick back up a more active lifestyle although you seem very active as is!
I’ve been worrying a lot the last few days because I went on a google deep dive on placenta issues and preeclampsia. Although the 20 week scan went well they did see that my placenta was low lying. They said not to worry they’ll check it in 30 weeks. So naturally I worried and researched it which led me to increase complications from IVF. There’s not too much in my control if those complications did come about but I think it’s best I get my nutrition game back up. I ordered a cook book about real food for pregnancy. Should help ease my mind at least and at best helps prevent complications from occurring and might even help me have a more nutritional approach to eating even after pregnancy.
Going to a sound bath to try to relax some more in a few. It’s on the third eye chakra which focuses on inner wisdom. I definitely need to get in touch with that!
Hey SS, CP, Numblady! Have a good day all!
LHW, thank you for the advice!! I definitely should be better about calling/in person. I’m virtual right now so sending chats is king and I try to avoid with meetings but people get annoyed with that too lol.
Venuscat and Free sorry to hear of the health struggles. I hope it gets sorted sooner rather than later and you both are feeling better soon.
Free, ugh estranged/toxic family is so difficult to deal with. I like your attitude of being proud of keeping your side of the street clean. Hopefully you can settle back into a routine and pick back up a more active lifestyle although you seem very active as is!
I’ve been worrying a lot the last few days because I went on a google deep dive on placenta issues and preeclampsia. Although the 20 week scan went well they did see that my placenta was low lying. They said not to worry they’ll check it in 30 weeks. So naturally I worried and researched it which led me to increase complications from IVF. There’s not too much in my control if those complications did come about but I think it’s best I get my nutrition game back up. I ordered a cook book about real food for pregnancy. Should help ease my mind at least and at best helps prevent complications from occurring and might even help me have a more nutritional approach to eating even after pregnancy.
Going to a sound bath to try to relax some more in a few. It’s on the third eye chakra which focuses on inner wisdom. I definitely need to get in touch with that!
Hey SS, CP, Numblady! Have a good day all!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,430
Happy Sunday, everyone! I'm doing well- work is busy and challenging as COVID has returned but at least it's not the hot panic anymore- just the added practice of gowning up and keeping some of my most social residents isolated- it takes a hard toll on them and I can't be everything to everybody. Trying to maintain a balance of keeping them mentally active but allowing myself to realize that I'm not the only one responsible for that is my new normal. The really ill ones who come with COPD or complicated pneumonia and then come up COVID+ are more my wheelhouse- it's very hard to watch them decline, but so far (knocking wood) we have been doing ok.
Glass Willow hangs in plain sight and I enjoy seeing her every day. I am contemplating another project....
Free- I understand the behaving like a responsible adult when it comes to your estranged brother, but that does not mean you have to set yourself up for disappointment/hurt, either. It sounds like you have extended the olive branch more than your share- it would be ok if you stop reaching out. Mentally grieve whatever is left, if anything and maybe move on for your own sake. You have too much to offer to spend it on those who don't appear worthy of it. Just my opinion.
Bohdi- the first rule of any health issue is NO DR. GOOGLE!!! I don't even read the contraindications on an aspirin bottle. I was very susceptible to most symptoms I read about in grad school- in one semester I had a brain tumor, Gillian-Barre Syndrome, MS, Myasthenia Gravis and Meunier's Disease!! Rely on your healthcare professional, and of course, what you're doing sounds like a good way to feel more in control, which is always helpful. Don't you wish you could just push the "Don't Worry" button?? I need to invent that thing.... In the meantime, sound bathing and good nutrition will do!
Venus, hope you feel better soon.
All the best to the rest of the gang! See you on the boards.
Glass Willow hangs in plain sight and I enjoy seeing her every day. I am contemplating another project....
Free- I understand the behaving like a responsible adult when it comes to your estranged brother, but that does not mean you have to set yourself up for disappointment/hurt, either. It sounds like you have extended the olive branch more than your share- it would be ok if you stop reaching out. Mentally grieve whatever is left, if anything and maybe move on for your own sake. You have too much to offer to spend it on those who don't appear worthy of it. Just my opinion.
Bohdi- the first rule of any health issue is NO DR. GOOGLE!!! I don't even read the contraindications on an aspirin bottle. I was very susceptible to most symptoms I read about in grad school- in one semester I had a brain tumor, Gillian-Barre Syndrome, MS, Myasthenia Gravis and Meunier's Disease!! Rely on your healthcare professional, and of course, what you're doing sounds like a good way to feel more in control, which is always helpful. Don't you wish you could just push the "Don't Worry" button?? I need to invent that thing.... In the meantime, sound bathing and good nutrition will do!
Venus, hope you feel better soon.
All the best to the rest of the gang! See you on the boards.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,345
Thanks for updates, ladies!
Bodhi, when I was pregnant with twins, Baby A, the one on the first floor of the uterus, had very little amnionic fluid. I was told I couldn’t do my “out west” mom/daughter trip with my then 17 year old daughter (yep, preg with TWINS and a 17 y o monster girl teen at the same time).
i said, is there something I AM DOING that is causing this? “Oh no, but if it continues, you could go into labor early or need hospital attention.”
I said, “If I’m not causing it, and I can’t cure it, and I can’t stop the universe from doing whatever, and I live in a country with great OB care, I’m going out west with my teen”.
And I did, and the twins are now 21, and the out west trip was AMAZING.
Take away, agree with Viking. No Dr Google Please enjoy these moments to come without worry. You’re not causing it, you can’t cure it, and it’s very treatable by your team even if your cervix is partially covered by placenta. 😁🤓❤️
Mwuah!
Bodhi, when I was pregnant with twins, Baby A, the one on the first floor of the uterus, had very little amnionic fluid. I was told I couldn’t do my “out west” mom/daughter trip with my then 17 year old daughter (yep, preg with TWINS and a 17 y o monster girl teen at the same time).
i said, is there something I AM DOING that is causing this? “Oh no, but if it continues, you could go into labor early or need hospital attention.”
I said, “If I’m not causing it, and I can’t cure it, and I can’t stop the universe from doing whatever, and I live in a country with great OB care, I’m going out west with my teen”.
And I did, and the twins are now 21, and the out west trip was AMAZING.
Take away, agree with Viking. No Dr Google Please enjoy these moments to come without worry. You’re not causing it, you can’t cure it, and it’s very treatable by your team even if your cervix is partially covered by placenta. 😁🤓❤️
Mwuah!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,430
I just got an invite to “Shot Night” with the neighborhood ladies. How nice! That’s something I would have avoided even back in the bad old days, they will get by just fine without me. I was thinking about all of us earlier (meaning you all) and how far we have all come. I know we don’t need each other so much anymore, but it’s nice to know you’re out there. I’ve started a very significant undertaking, which I put off for years because alcohol was all I could focus on. I’m replacing all my flooring, remodeling a bathroom and doing few other home improvements that I’ve been too overwhelmed to initiate. I think I can handle it now! Grateful every single day for how life has changed and trying to embrace all I can.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 1,121
Good morning friends! It's been too long. The big system upgrade project that I have been working on for the two months since I returned to work just got implemented over the weekend. I have been immersed in it for a couple of weeks, and am dealing with some of the post-upgrade stuff that comes with any big project. Really caught myself in some of my old bad habits yesterday. Stressing about things too much. Perfectionism. Etc, etc. I guess that stuff doesn't just go away because I stopped drinking. Need to put into practice the principles that I've learned here. Especially gratitude. Overall things have gone well.
Bodhi, so glad to hear about your work and baby updates. And I'm glad that we've got such smart people in this group to give you great advice on both fronts.
Lisa, I hope that your remodeling project is off to a good start. Changing up your living space seems like a great idea, and I need to seriously consider it. It's crazy how little my house has changed since my divorce, over 8 years ago.
Lynn, I hope that you get your sleep issue squared away soon, and you can also get back into an exercise regimen that works for you. Getting back to home base, and staying there for a while, should help, right? Can't believe you were at the JackStack restaurant on 470. Literally 5 minutes up the highway from me. Would have loved to have met you. Oh well, maybe next time.
LHW, SS, Venue, Dee, I hope you all are doing well. Life is good. I still have a lot to learn about myself, but I'm giving it a real effort, for the first time in my life. No escaping any more. No time for that.
Bodhi, so glad to hear about your work and baby updates. And I'm glad that we've got such smart people in this group to give you great advice on both fronts.
Lisa, I hope that your remodeling project is off to a good start. Changing up your living space seems like a great idea, and I need to seriously consider it. It's crazy how little my house has changed since my divorce, over 8 years ago.
Lynn, I hope that you get your sleep issue squared away soon, and you can also get back into an exercise regimen that works for you. Getting back to home base, and staying there for a while, should help, right? Can't believe you were at the JackStack restaurant on 470. Literally 5 minutes up the highway from me. Would have loved to have met you. Oh well, maybe next time.
LHW, SS, Venue, Dee, I hope you all are doing well. Life is good. I still have a lot to learn about myself, but I'm giving it a real effort, for the first time in my life. No escaping any more. No time for that.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,430
I picked up Matthew Perry’s book. I’m only in about 30 pages, but his interview with Diane Sawyer was kind of compelling and I’m hoping this gets a bit more serious. So far, it’s kind of like Chandler is trying to keep it light, but Matty is attempting to say something important. His friends call him Matty, so I went there. I’ll let you know how it goes.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,430
Another sober weekend in the headlights. The neighbors are at their shot party and I just came home from dinner with friends. Driving myself home sounds so ordinary but it never gets old. Tomorrow I will wake up to a full, free day, I worked hard this week and earned this day to do what I want. I plan on catching up with all my friends here, job one. Boã noite! (Portuguese is going well.)
Oh, my finished stained glass is my profile pic, you can check it out if you like!
Oh, my finished stained glass is my profile pic, you can check it out if you like!
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,345
Happy Sober Sunday!
As member FBL says, “Looking forward to the adventures a sober week” or something like that.
Im sleeping better lately, and it’s good to be home now, day 9 of being home. I’m journaling a little daily, just reflections and writing down my intake. At the top of each reflection page, there is the open phrase: “Intention for the day:”
Mine has been to be mindful of my words, and mindful of my food intake.
Today I’m nervous about my addition, as we are seeing the cousin of hubby whom I don’t care for. He doesn’t respect my marriage to hubby, and keeps promoting the continued communication of an old lover to hubby whenever I’m not in the room or around.
My additional intention is to set a clear boundary. Idk why, but my hands have been shaking and my heart fluttering at the rehearsal in my head. Why the heck is that?
I have nothing to be shamed of. Perhaps facing my demons instead of numbing them is still new, and taking care of me and my needs is still relatively new and unchartered territory.
”D, glad you called us together today to meet in person. I’m going to come right to the point with something I’ve needed to say for a while. In my opinion, we teach people how to treat us by what we tolerate. You have been talking behind my back, sending messages to hubby from R. You also keep sending messages to my in-laws from this person, which makes them uncomfortable as well.
You don’t need the details of the breakup, or understand it. You do need to be aware, however, that the disrespectful behavior will no longer be tolerated. Moving forward, I wanted to make that clear, that as a couple, we expect you to honor the request we made to R over three years ago.
Sound good? Ugh. I HATE this stuff.
Anyway, this cousin has NEVER wanted to meet up with us without coming to our place to meet hubbys ex lover, who still comes to our remote town to stalk us/him. So I’m interested in what is up his manipulative sleeve. He can explain after I set those boundaries.
As member FBL says, “Looking forward to the adventures a sober week” or something like that.
Im sleeping better lately, and it’s good to be home now, day 9 of being home. I’m journaling a little daily, just reflections and writing down my intake. At the top of each reflection page, there is the open phrase: “Intention for the day:”
Mine has been to be mindful of my words, and mindful of my food intake.
Today I’m nervous about my addition, as we are seeing the cousin of hubby whom I don’t care for. He doesn’t respect my marriage to hubby, and keeps promoting the continued communication of an old lover to hubby whenever I’m not in the room or around.
My additional intention is to set a clear boundary. Idk why, but my hands have been shaking and my heart fluttering at the rehearsal in my head. Why the heck is that?
I have nothing to be shamed of. Perhaps facing my demons instead of numbing them is still new, and taking care of me and my needs is still relatively new and unchartered territory.
”D, glad you called us together today to meet in person. I’m going to come right to the point with something I’ve needed to say for a while. In my opinion, we teach people how to treat us by what we tolerate. You have been talking behind my back, sending messages to hubby from R. You also keep sending messages to my in-laws from this person, which makes them uncomfortable as well.
You don’t need the details of the breakup, or understand it. You do need to be aware, however, that the disrespectful behavior will no longer be tolerated. Moving forward, I wanted to make that clear, that as a couple, we expect you to honor the request we made to R over three years ago.
Sound good? Ugh. I HATE this stuff.
Anyway, this cousin has NEVER wanted to meet up with us without coming to our place to meet hubbys ex lover, who still comes to our remote town to stalk us/him. So I’m interested in what is up his manipulative sleeve. He can explain after I set those boundaries.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
