Class of August 2021 Support Thread Part 6
Member
Join Date: Nov 2020
Posts: 517
It’s rainy here and some scattered thunderstorms.
Life feels like someone pressed fast forward. Things at work have been very hectic. We’re starting the IVF process so that’s added a whole other level of appointments and tasks to do. I’m excited about it, but also scared because it’s a lot of effort and I’m just really hoping it’s all worth it. Either way we’ll find out!
In my most recent therapy session some tough love was handed out regarding the issues I have with my college friends. She was pretty frank that I’m talking in circles and we’ll probably still be talking about it this time next year if I don’t just let them go. There is a big part of me that was trying to figure out if they weren’t just drinking friends and this year and all the effort I’ve put into trying to figure that out really has just led me to they’re not deep connections. So at this point, I’m in a way grieving that hoped for connection. Anyways we have one of the ladies weddings coming up Easter weekend so that’s really the last obligation. Then after that I’ll no longer be rsvping yes.
Life feels like someone pressed fast forward. Things at work have been very hectic. We’re starting the IVF process so that’s added a whole other level of appointments and tasks to do. I’m excited about it, but also scared because it’s a lot of effort and I’m just really hoping it’s all worth it. Either way we’ll find out!
In my most recent therapy session some tough love was handed out regarding the issues I have with my college friends. She was pretty frank that I’m talking in circles and we’ll probably still be talking about it this time next year if I don’t just let them go. There is a big part of me that was trying to figure out if they weren’t just drinking friends and this year and all the effort I’ve put into trying to figure that out really has just led me to they’re not deep connections. So at this point, I’m in a way grieving that hoped for connection. Anyways we have one of the ladies weddings coming up Easter weekend so that’s really the last obligation. Then after that I’ll no longer be rsvping yes.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,371
Great updates!
Bodhi, I think my attachment to my brother and sister was the same way as your college friends. They really weren’t that nice to me, and sometimes downright mean. I let them go in November. It hurt a lot, and I kept it lingering wayyyy to long before I cut that cord. I didn’t want to give up on the hope that they would someday reciprocate the love, care, and need for connection. They did not, and I finally realized they never would.
Im still hoping for my son, who, for some unknown and unsaid reason, ignores me. I need to let him go. I’ve tried to contact him a lot less, and last night I dreamt he wanted me in his life, and hugged me. It was just a dream. It IS just a dream.
Best wishes for thE IVF. My ex hubby and I tried so hard, did chlomid, etc, but never IVF or artificial insemination. We were blessed with twins after we were done trying. It is such a difficult emotional roller coaster.
LHW, safe travels home. We did 14 hours in February, actually hubby did it himself, I couldn’t help because of hand surgery. Very fatiguing and that is dangerous.
Hugs and prayers 🤓❤️🙏🏼
Bodhi, I think my attachment to my brother and sister was the same way as your college friends. They really weren’t that nice to me, and sometimes downright mean. I let them go in November. It hurt a lot, and I kept it lingering wayyyy to long before I cut that cord. I didn’t want to give up on the hope that they would someday reciprocate the love, care, and need for connection. They did not, and I finally realized they never would.
Im still hoping for my son, who, for some unknown and unsaid reason, ignores me. I need to let him go. I’ve tried to contact him a lot less, and last night I dreamt he wanted me in his life, and hugged me. It was just a dream. It IS just a dream.
Best wishes for thE IVF. My ex hubby and I tried so hard, did chlomid, etc, but never IVF or artificial insemination. We were blessed with twins after we were done trying. It is such a difficult emotional roller coaster.
LHW, safe travels home. We did 14 hours in February, actually hubby did it himself, I couldn’t help because of hand surgery. Very fatiguing and that is dangerous.
Hugs and prayers 🤓❤️🙏🏼
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,485
Hi everyone, just a quick check in from Costa Rica. I’ve got to tell you, I am having the time of my life. I never thought I could do the things that I have done- zip lining, climbed a volcano, rode a horse (on a crazy a$$ trail!) after quitting riding 15 years ago- and by the way that’s also like riding a bicycle- you just don’t forget. And doing it all sober and so happy among a group of people most of whom were strangers a week ago. I sometimes feel like I want to cry with happiness about how I have changed, it’s unfathomable to me that I can feel so strong, confident and healthy. When everyone goes to their rooms at night, I spend time writing in my journal, and the thought that comes out repeatedly is how grateful I am for this opportunity to live a better life. I I know I’m a work in progress, but progress is the key word right? Hope all is well- will catch up when I’m back- my best to all.
¡Pura vida!
¡Pura vida!
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,371
Thanks for the update, Viking! Sounds fab. Glad you made it through zip lining ALIVE 😬🥴
Its amazing how we can get excited about things, like we used to, before we encased ourselves in the hell of addiction.
A pic would be great 🌴🌴🌴🥥🥥🥥🧗🏼♀️🏊🏼♀️🧘🏼♀️🌊
Its amazing how we can get excited about things, like we used to, before we encased ourselves in the hell of addiction.
A pic would be great 🌴🌴🌴🥥🥥🥥🧗🏼♀️🏊🏼♀️🧘🏼♀️🌊
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: East Coast US
Posts: 1,867
Good Morning everyone. Sounds like everyone is doing well.
We are back home and I am glad to be home! Yesterday I laid down for a "short" nap while Mr. LHW went to the driving range and I slept for 3 hours! Guess my body needed it. The final day's drive was stressful, tons of traffic and sometimes traffic was at a complete standstill for no reason other than sheer volume! We are definitely rethinking next winters plans.
Viking, I have never been to Costa Rica but I hear it is nice. Glad you are enjoying it sober. I have no interest in zip lining, but so glad you liked it! I am terrified of it for some reason. Friends once rented a house there that had an "open living room"...no walls on one side...just forest. They said monkeys and other creatures would come right up to the living room and look in. Sounds kind of cool.
Bodhi - good luck with the IVF treatments. I also had similar feedback when in therapy and at some point, we have to just let go of those old relationships no matter how difficult it may be. I think your final wedding with a member of this group is a good breaking point.
I had maintained a somewhat cordial relationship with my deceased husband's siblings for a number of years after he died. I finally got tired of being the only one calling his sister and so I stopped and I haven't heard from her in over 6 years even though she lives less than 10 miles away. Her youngest grandson was in the hospital recently...had a very, very serious illness and almost died and I texted her to let her know I was sending good thoughts their way. She responded with "thanks, keep praying". Haven't heard a word since. I did speak to my former BIL about 2 times a year during the past 6 years but that stopped last year. He called and left a VM on my birthday and I texted him a thank you since we were out, but I have heard nothing since. Just saw on Facebook that he is in town visiting family, but I haven't heard anything from him. I have to admit it hurt that he did not contact me, but Mr. LHW said maybe he thinks we are still in Florida. Perhaps, but I think it's time to let those two relationships go. I am not married to their brother any more and I am really not their brother's widow anymore (am I?) and so there's probably no reason to maintain any connection to them. Time to move on, but it's hard to move on from something that really was never there, if that makes any sense.
Today I am turning the "bar area" of our kitchen into a coffee bar. Talked to Mr. LHW about it last night and he is in total agreement. The bar set up looks very pretty, but it not functional for us any longer and I am all about making efficient use of space. Looking online this morning for some ideas while he is at church. I want it to look inviting, but not cluttered. I have a small area of the kitchen counter with which to work. This project will involve packing up the glassware and other bar paraphenalia and putting them away in the basement. We will leave a few glasses in an upper cabinet for when guests are over but we are not planning on having visitors any time soon. Had enough of that in Florida!
Everyone have a great day!
LHW
We are back home and I am glad to be home! Yesterday I laid down for a "short" nap while Mr. LHW went to the driving range and I slept for 3 hours! Guess my body needed it. The final day's drive was stressful, tons of traffic and sometimes traffic was at a complete standstill for no reason other than sheer volume! We are definitely rethinking next winters plans.
Viking, I have never been to Costa Rica but I hear it is nice. Glad you are enjoying it sober. I have no interest in zip lining, but so glad you liked it! I am terrified of it for some reason. Friends once rented a house there that had an "open living room"...no walls on one side...just forest. They said monkeys and other creatures would come right up to the living room and look in. Sounds kind of cool.
Bodhi - good luck with the IVF treatments. I also had similar feedback when in therapy and at some point, we have to just let go of those old relationships no matter how difficult it may be. I think your final wedding with a member of this group is a good breaking point.
I had maintained a somewhat cordial relationship with my deceased husband's siblings for a number of years after he died. I finally got tired of being the only one calling his sister and so I stopped and I haven't heard from her in over 6 years even though she lives less than 10 miles away. Her youngest grandson was in the hospital recently...had a very, very serious illness and almost died and I texted her to let her know I was sending good thoughts their way. She responded with "thanks, keep praying". Haven't heard a word since. I did speak to my former BIL about 2 times a year during the past 6 years but that stopped last year. He called and left a VM on my birthday and I texted him a thank you since we were out, but I have heard nothing since. Just saw on Facebook that he is in town visiting family, but I haven't heard anything from him. I have to admit it hurt that he did not contact me, but Mr. LHW said maybe he thinks we are still in Florida. Perhaps, but I think it's time to let those two relationships go. I am not married to their brother any more and I am really not their brother's widow anymore (am I?) and so there's probably no reason to maintain any connection to them. Time to move on, but it's hard to move on from something that really was never there, if that makes any sense.
Today I am turning the "bar area" of our kitchen into a coffee bar. Talked to Mr. LHW about it last night and he is in total agreement. The bar set up looks very pretty, but it not functional for us any longer and I am all about making efficient use of space. Looking online this morning for some ideas while he is at church. I want it to look inviting, but not cluttered. I have a small area of the kitchen counter with which to work. This project will involve packing up the glassware and other bar paraphenalia and putting them away in the basement. We will leave a few glasses in an upper cabinet for when guests are over but we are not planning on having visitors any time soon. Had enough of that in Florida!
Everyone have a great day!
LHW
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,371
LHW, what a wonderful post!
We went golfing yesterday, being able to change our climate by driving an hour and a half west of where we live. I actually got a par on one hole, and was attacked by someone’s loose dog on the course. Pretty scary. When I raised my clubs at it (I was going to bonk it on the head with my sand wedge and putter), it must have figured I wasn’t going to let it sink it’s teeth in me. It was part pit bull. 😫
Changing the bar into a coffee bar wounds like a GREAT idea, and I’m soooo glad you got home safely.
So glad we are in this wonderful class together.🤓❤️
James? Lamb? SS? Anyone else out there? We’d love for you to check in, no matter the timeline on your recovery status.
We went golfing yesterday, being able to change our climate by driving an hour and a half west of where we live. I actually got a par on one hole, and was attacked by someone’s loose dog on the course. Pretty scary. When I raised my clubs at it (I was going to bonk it on the head with my sand wedge and putter), it must have figured I wasn’t going to let it sink it’s teeth in me. It was part pit bull. 😫
Changing the bar into a coffee bar wounds like a GREAT idea, and I’m soooo glad you got home safely.
So glad we are in this wonderful class together.🤓❤️
James? Lamb? SS? Anyone else out there? We’d love for you to check in, no matter the timeline on your recovery status.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2020
Posts: 517
Oh my goodness Free! That is so scary. That was smarty and quick thinking to use the golf putt. So glad you’re ok!!
Today was a really good day! I was a lot less stressed and overwhelmed by everything (work, fertility treatments, relationships). I was listening to an episode of the Ultimate Health podcast. The episode was entitled how to reprogram your subconscious. It was very interesting. They talked about how we can rewire our brains and break unhealthy patterns. A lot of useful content in there. If anybody has a chance I’d recommend listening to it.
Today was a really good day! I was a lot less stressed and overwhelmed by everything (work, fertility treatments, relationships). I was listening to an episode of the Ultimate Health podcast. The episode was entitled how to reprogram your subconscious. It was very interesting. They talked about how we can rewire our brains and break unhealthy patterns. A lot of useful content in there. If anybody has a chance I’d recommend listening to it.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 1,121
Good morning all. Not doing so well. Insanity. Doing the same thing and hoping for different results. Was able to string nine days together, then back to the six-pack a night habit for the last 4-5 days. No new "lows" to report. Just the same cycle of discontent. I have to figure out how to live sober. That is, and always has been, my problem. I'm back here to try again. Today. I hope that you guys don't mind me posting here, but you are my SR family. I come back here, with my tail between my legs, knowing that I don't have the answers. I can't beat this alone. I want to be a better person.
So happy that this group is still together.
So happy that this group is still together.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: East Coast US
Posts: 1,867
CP - you are always welcome here! I've been back to SR with my tail between my legs many, many times over the years. Quitting drinking is not easy. It's the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Just keep trying.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,748
Not sure how the weather is your way dear CP, but maybe you can change things up after work today.
I know that every small change I made gave me hope that I COULD learn to live life sober.
s
And good morning dear LHW xx
I know that every small change I made gave me hope that I COULD learn to live life sober.
s And good morning dear LHW xx
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 1,121
Thanks you guys. It's like a strange, circadian rhythm thing with me. No urge or craving whatsoever in the mornings or early afternoon. When the late afternoon and early evening arrives, a sense of dread follows. Restless, but kind of paralyzed too. I've never really come to terms with what I am feeling. But then I drink those first couple of beers and it all loosens up. Of course, those first couple of beers progress to the whole six-pack in short order and the evening ends with me asleep on the couch. Rinse and repeat.
Action steps. Have an early dinner. Go for a walk. Go shopping for Easter goodies for my grandkids. Go to the library.
I know that I can't address my 'living sober' problems until I get and stay sober. I can feel the negative effects of the alcohol in my mind and body, more than ever. I have to stop TODAY. I've given up trying to fight this myself. I can't.
Action steps. Have an early dinner. Go for a walk. Go shopping for Easter goodies for my grandkids. Go to the library.
I know that I can't address my 'living sober' problems until I get and stay sober. I can feel the negative effects of the alcohol in my mind and body, more than ever. I have to stop TODAY. I've given up trying to fight this myself. I can't.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: East Coast US
Posts: 1,867
CP - old habits are hard to break and so are cravings. The urges don't go away overnight and I think for a lot of people, it takes a very long time -- myself included.
Today was the first nice weather we've had since we have been home so Mr. LHW and I went out to play 9 holes of golf. When we finished, I started "romancing the wine" .... big time. Past habits dictated a stop at the "19th hole" for a glass of wine or two before heading home. Mr. LHW would usually have a beer or two.
He did not mention stopping at all, but my mouth was watering! If he had said he wanted to stop, I would have been right there and I have no doubt I would have ordered a glass or 2 or 3. Even when we got home, I was still craving it. I made myself a blueberry smoothie instead and read a magazine. It didn't take long for the "romancing" to pass.
Just push yourself a little bit. It is worth it.
Today was the first nice weather we've had since we have been home so Mr. LHW and I went out to play 9 holes of golf. When we finished, I started "romancing the wine" .... big time. Past habits dictated a stop at the "19th hole" for a glass of wine or two before heading home. Mr. LHW would usually have a beer or two.
He did not mention stopping at all, but my mouth was watering! If he had said he wanted to stop, I would have been right there and I have no doubt I would have ordered a glass or 2 or 3. Even when we got home, I was still craving it. I made myself a blueberry smoothie instead and read a magazine. It didn't take long for the "romancing" to pass.
Just push yourself a little bit. It is worth it.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,371
OMG, LHW. So glad you had your hubby. Must get strong enough that no matter what, you won’t drink. We are still early days.
CP, the book Alcohol Explained Is SO good. It talks about why we still drink when we know it’s bad for us. It addresses why we need more and more, and don’t feel the effects.
I was pouring out a half bottle of white wine that hubby had left in fridge for a week. I looked at it, remembering that half bottle wouldn’t even TOUCH my need to numb. I would have had to top it off with hard liquor nips. Then pretended he couldn’t smell my breath.
Then hardly pee in the morning, but feel like puking. Feel pressure in my abdomen. Hate myself. Wonder why I didn’t get relief, why I can’t remember what I said or what we watched on tv. But I’d vaguely remember plopping to bed with clothes on, and realize my teeth feel horrible because I was too wasted to brush my teeth.
Every relapse can teach us that we can’t drink, Now. Not NOW.
I stopped and started many times, and each time it was not only tougher physically and mentally, there was no guarantee how long I’d be in the wash, rinse, repeat cycle.
So glad I fight the urges. The self satisfaction I feel in the morning by having rode the crave waves far outweighs the teeny tiny pleasure alcohol gave me in those end days.
The cost was too much to drink (figuratively speaking) than the cost of riding an uncomfortable wave that I trained my subconscious to feel I needed alcohol to survive. It kills us. It’s poison.
Alcohol Explained. Amazon. Tonight.
CP, the book Alcohol Explained Is SO good. It talks about why we still drink when we know it’s bad for us. It addresses why we need more and more, and don’t feel the effects.
I was pouring out a half bottle of white wine that hubby had left in fridge for a week. I looked at it, remembering that half bottle wouldn’t even TOUCH my need to numb. I would have had to top it off with hard liquor nips. Then pretended he couldn’t smell my breath.
Then hardly pee in the morning, but feel like puking. Feel pressure in my abdomen. Hate myself. Wonder why I didn’t get relief, why I can’t remember what I said or what we watched on tv. But I’d vaguely remember plopping to bed with clothes on, and realize my teeth feel horrible because I was too wasted to brush my teeth.
Every relapse can teach us that we can’t drink, Now. Not NOW.
I stopped and started many times, and each time it was not only tougher physically and mentally, there was no guarantee how long I’d be in the wash, rinse, repeat cycle.
So glad I fight the urges. The self satisfaction I feel in the morning by having rode the crave waves far outweighs the teeny tiny pleasure alcohol gave me in those end days.
The cost was too much to drink (figuratively speaking) than the cost of riding an uncomfortable wave that I trained my subconscious to feel I needed alcohol to survive. It kills us. It’s poison.
Alcohol Explained. Amazon. Tonight.
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