Class of May 2020 part 7
Member
Join Date: May 2020
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,025
Originally Posted by Wastinglife 
I am going out of my mind with boredom and social isolation. Texting/phone calls can only do so much. I've been living like this even before the pandemic but I did go to almost daily AA meetings. Online meetings are useless for me to be honest. It's getting harder and harder to find reasons not to drink. Won't drink, but I do nothing otherwise.
I don't know what health effects going on a bender would have as I am only a couple months recovered from Coronavirus. I turn 44 next week so I am a little depressed about my life situation because it will not be improving until the pandemic is over. Another year of unemployment, isolation, and boredom.
just watching CNN right now and they are talking about how a study shows 1in 3 Americans are suffering anxiety or depression. I'm am suffering from both myself.
I don't know what health effects going on a bender would have as I am only a couple months recovered from Coronavirus. I turn 44 next week so I am a little depressed about my life situation because it will not be improving until the pandemic is over. Another year of unemployment, isolation, and boredom.
just watching CNN right now and they are talking about how a study shows 1in 3 Americans are suffering anxiety or depression. I'm am suffering from both myself.
Member
Join Date: May 2020
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,025
Originally Posted by Sober369
Thanks so much, Kitten! I'm very pleasantly surprised at how easy it's been. After about 4 weeks, anyway. Honestly, just yesterday I had one of the few drinking thoughts I've had lately. I was just really tired. Have to keep up the program to keep up the sobriety, I know.
My son, Robert, is feeling much better today. I know sometimes it will come back stronger after you start to get well, but I'm feeling 'cautiously optimistic'.
My son, Robert, is feeling much better today. I know sometimes it will come back stronger after you start to get well, but I'm feeling 'cautiously optimistic'.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,620
Is there something you can volunteer to do WL...something to get you out of the house and out of your own head?
even giving blood as a recovered COVID patient would be something.
D
even giving blood as a recovered COVID patient would be something.
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
I'll be okay. Just in one of those moods. I want to hit the 6 month mark of sobriety and I know there will be quite a few days like this. Having had Coronavirus already has actually helped me fight off quite a few urges to drink since. I'm sure the last thing my body needs is a 2 week bender.
Free.
Join Date: Apr 2020
Location: Saskatchewan.
Posts: 2,986
WL: glad you’re committed to sobriety.
You’re doing well and sharing honestly and sincerely. Something I struggle with during the tougher times.
I hope you are able to get the CERB. (none of my business really).
My wife qualifies for the student version of this benefit. CESB. So....in a sense; Trudeau bought us lunch today. Haha.
Hope everyone is having a decent day.
You’re doing well and sharing honestly and sincerely. Something I struggle with during the tougher times.
I hope you are able to get the CERB. (none of my business really).
My wife qualifies for the student version of this benefit. CESB. So....in a sense; Trudeau bought us lunch today. Haha.
Hope everyone is having a decent day.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 510
Well another one bites the dust. That would be me. I am sickened emotionally and physically. I drank yesterday. Starting in the afternoon and continuing till bedtime. I feel so horrible today. Honestly, a horrible hangover. I woke at 5AM and could not go back to sleep. It was a horrible morning. I've taken ibuprofen, broth, vitamins and trying to drink lots of water. I despise this feeling.
What a horrible time for me to do this. My son just told me he is coming to visit in a couple of days. I haven't seen him in almost a year. I have a lot I need to be doing but I don't feel like doing anything but staying in bed.
Checked my sleep info from my fitbit. Horrible score. It showed that my heart rate was above resting the whole time I slept. Usually it is below resting. Horrible sleep score. Imagine that.
I have absolutely no desire to drink. All I have to do is think of how horrible I feel right now and the thought makes me sick.
Just feel like such a failure right now. The thought of counting days right now makes me so disgusted with myself. I can't even go there.
Hope
What a horrible time for me to do this. My son just told me he is coming to visit in a couple of days. I haven't seen him in almost a year. I have a lot I need to be doing but I don't feel like doing anything but staying in bed.
Checked my sleep info from my fitbit. Horrible score. It showed that my heart rate was above resting the whole time I slept. Usually it is below resting. Horrible sleep score. Imagine that.
I have absolutely no desire to drink. All I have to do is think of how horrible I feel right now and the thought makes me sick.
Just feel like such a failure right now. The thought of counting days right now makes me so disgusted with myself. I can't even go there.
Hope
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,709
Oh Hope, I am sorry you drank love, but you need to stop beating yourself now.
That was a big beating....there will be bruises.
If this was easy, well, none of us would be here.
So you made a mistake....and learned one more time that this is not what you want.
Good....you don't have to do it again. 
s
You will be OK.....rest today and you still have time before your son comes home.
You can do everything without a hangover.
It will be alright.
Perhaps this was the universe reminding you one more time....this is not who we want to be anymore. Not what we want for oursleves.
So with that knowledge....chin up.....and onward love. Together. ❤️
That was a big beating....there will be bruises.
If this was easy, well, none of us would be here.
So you made a mistake....and learned one more time that this is not what you want.
Good....you don't have to do it again.
sYou will be OK.....rest today and you still have time before your son comes home.
You can do everything without a hangover.
It will be alright.
Perhaps this was the universe reminding you one more time....this is not who we want to be anymore. Not what we want for oursleves.
So with that knowledge....chin up.....and onward love. Together.
❤️
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Georgia, USA
Posts: 2,229
Hope, I'm so sorry you drank. I know how bad that feels. Venus is right, you can rest and drink lots of water and tomorrow worry about the house and your son. I hope you can bounce right back, it will make all the difference if you do!
WL, I'm sorry you're struggling, too. I'm so glad you're committed and getting through. I love Dee's idea. Find something to do where you can be safe but still socialize in some way. Even if it's just on the phone. I'm sending you lots of love and support.
I have spent the morning trying to fix my air conditioner. I think I've done it!
Hugs to all.
WL, I'm sorry you're struggling, too. I'm so glad you're committed and getting through. I love Dee's idea. Find something to do where you can be safe but still socialize in some way. Even if it's just on the phone. I'm sending you lots of love and support.
I have spent the morning trying to fix my air conditioner. I think I've done it!
Hugs to all.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 510
Thank you Suze. That made me cry. However, I'm not surprised. All I feel like doing is crying today. Still in my pajamas. And plan on staying in them all day. I need to be out shopping for food and such but I can't even imagine. Plus I hate shopping on the weekend.
Hope
Hope
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Georgia, USA
Posts: 2,229
I'm thinking of you and sending lots of love and support, Hope.
To all of you!
I 'googled' it, Venus. Ended up being a clogged drain. I hooked the shop vac to it with duct tape and it's all better! Canceled the repairman. Could I have done that drinking? Nope. Would not have even tried. May not have even done anything, just let it drip, ruin the ceiling, call the repairman for that when the mold got too much to bear.
Sober is good.
Now, I am taking a much earned nap.
Love to all...
To all of you!
I 'googled' it, Venus. Ended up being a clogged drain. I hooked the shop vac to it with duct tape and it's all better! Canceled the repairman. Could I have done that drinking? Nope. Would not have even tried. May not have even done anything, just let it drip, ruin the ceiling, call the repairman for that when the mold got too much to bear.
Sober is good.
Now, I am taking a much earned nap.
Love to all...
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
I understand Hopeful, don't fret. I am barely hanging on. Spoil yourself with a dinner like pizza or hamburgers.
I am miserable. The pandemic blues I guess. I think I am suffering depression. Although, my situation is really something to be depressed about so I don't think it's a chemical imbalance. Tomorrow is another day....
I am miserable. The pandemic blues I guess. I think I am suffering depression. Although, my situation is really something to be depressed about so I don't think it's a chemical imbalance. Tomorrow is another day....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,620
I think it’s likely you’ll feel that way until you do something about it WL...and I mean a positive something. If volunteering holdsno allure for you, find something that does, man.
I’m sorry you drank Hopeful. I looked back in case I missed something but you didn’t post you were in trouble.
I know how hard that can be to do - you don’t want to bother anyone, you don’t want to bring the mood down...maybe on some level there’s a part of you that doesn’t want to be talked out of it...
I don’t know what drove you to drink but it doesn’t sound like it’s left you feeling any better...you have to fight for that part of you that wants to be sober. We’re here to help
D
I’m sorry you drank Hopeful. I looked back in case I missed something but you didn’t post you were in trouble.
I know how hard that can be to do - you don’t want to bother anyone, you don’t want to bring the mood down...maybe on some level there’s a part of you that doesn’t want to be talked out of it...
I don’t know what drove you to drink but it doesn’t sound like it’s left you feeling any better...you have to fight for that part of you that wants to be sober. We’re here to help
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 510
Hi to all and thank you for the support. Making it through the day. Still feel like crap but not as bad as this morning. My son is coming tomorrow and I did not feel like shopping today. So I placed an order to pickup in the morning for curbside pickup. Hoping I feel back to normal by then. Stay sober classmates. Don't do what I did. Damn!
Hope
Hope
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Georgia, USA
Posts: 2,229
So glad you're getting by Hope! I thought you had one more day before your son comes. Hang in there. I am thinking happy thoughts for you. Dee is right, you have to fight for it. I hope that was like the last nail in the coffin of your AV. Let us be a help to you!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 364
Originally Posted by Coz
The moon, Jupiter and Saturn in alignment (definitely not at Dig's expertise in night-sky photography)
Take care!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Georgia, USA
Posts: 2,229
WL, I think these antidepressants have helped me a lot. Also just getting healthier helps with depression some. And, a huge dose of acceptance and remembering that all this is temporary. If we live through it, which I think we will if we stay sober, we can look back and be grateful for all we learned and for the rest we got. Someday we will be pressured to get so much done and look back on these times with a bit of regret that they are over. Not the sickness and sad and scary parts, but the lack of pressure to perform and please people. Maybe.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 364
hi everyone / just wanted to check in and say hello
and i hope that those with Covid scares are coping well and staying strong as possible... just do NOT drink... it will NOT make it all go away or make anything better... i would guess the same holds true for those struggling with anxiety, depression, etc.
karen and coz!!! great milestones! some amazing and hard work put in to be where you both are and please don't discount any of the hard work... it's a truly remarkable thing to beat the AV down so hard and for so long like this!
thinking of those milestones made me break out my "Days Since" app and i'm proud to say that I've just completed Day #133... i don't know if it's a good thing but I've stopped watching the app daily... I check in on it now and then just to give myself a pat on the back to be entirely honest...
Mrs. Dig is away at Girls Camping Weekend... usually this would be a cue to guzzle more than the usual amount of booze but instead this year I took Littlest Dig out to the mall with masks, hand sanitizer and social distancing in mind. We ate lunch together and talked and smiled and laughed. We came home and swam. Nothing was rushed. No putting him to bed early to get to the bottle sooner. I'm sitting on the couch now catching up on SR and feeling very happy.
i'll leave it at this for now... thinking of you all... be safe and sensible and as always use the tools around you to stay sober
and i hope that those with Covid scares are coping well and staying strong as possible... just do NOT drink... it will NOT make it all go away or make anything better... i would guess the same holds true for those struggling with anxiety, depression, etc.
karen and coz!!! great milestones! some amazing and hard work put in to be where you both are and please don't discount any of the hard work... it's a truly remarkable thing to beat the AV down so hard and for so long like this!
thinking of those milestones made me break out my "Days Since" app and i'm proud to say that I've just completed Day #133... i don't know if it's a good thing but I've stopped watching the app daily... I check in on it now and then just to give myself a pat on the back to be entirely honest...
Mrs. Dig is away at Girls Camping Weekend... usually this would be a cue to guzzle more than the usual amount of booze but instead this year I took Littlest Dig out to the mall with masks, hand sanitizer and social distancing in mind. We ate lunch together and talked and smiled and laughed. We came home and swam. Nothing was rushed. No putting him to bed early to get to the bottle sooner. I'm sitting on the couch now catching up on SR and feeling very happy.
i'll leave it at this for now... thinking of you all... be safe and sensible and as always use the tools around you to stay sober
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