Class of July 2013 Part 61
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,700
Good to see you Snoozy. Don’t forget the chicken and egg from our Gilmer.
Hope it’s ok to share.
Hi love. I found these words by Gilmer while I was looking through SR for inspiration for weekenders. I thought they were quite apt and Gilmer guided me to them for you. ❤️
Weekender Mar. 29-Apr. 2: “The Chicken or the Egg?”
No, I ‘m not using the Weekender to ponder mysteries of metaphysics!
This week’s theme came from a fortune cookie I got: “Better a hen tomorrow than an egg today.”
This really applies to the battle for lasting sobriety.
There is a tendency in most of us to go for instant gratification. If something makes us anxious or causes us pain, we want to make it go away right NOW !
We choose the “egg” of immediate relief (drunkenness) over the “hen” of long-term well-being and stability.
One problem with the egg is that once it’s gone, it’s gone. Every time a new crisis comes, you have to chase after a new egg.
If in every crisis we turn to alcohol, we are doomed to keep repeating the pattern with no hope for improvement.
But if we dare to stop the drinking, we have a chance to find a “hen:” a state of emotional stability that will enable us to withstand troubles without being defeated.
It takes guts not to cave at first when you’re really suffering.
But if you put in the time and effort to invest in your own growth, you will have access to a hen, from which you can get as many “eggs” of strength and wisdom as you need to face real life.
Tough it out! Hold out for the hen!
Hope it’s ok to share.
Hi love. I found these words by Gilmer while I was looking through SR for inspiration for weekenders. I thought they were quite apt and Gilmer guided me to them for you. ❤️
Weekender Mar. 29-Apr. 2: “The Chicken or the Egg?”
No, I ‘m not using the Weekender to ponder mysteries of metaphysics!
This week’s theme came from a fortune cookie I got: “Better a hen tomorrow than an egg today.”
This really applies to the battle for lasting sobriety.
There is a tendency in most of us to go for instant gratification. If something makes us anxious or causes us pain, we want to make it go away right NOW !
We choose the “egg” of immediate relief (drunkenness) over the “hen” of long-term well-being and stability.
One problem with the egg is that once it’s gone, it’s gone. Every time a new crisis comes, you have to chase after a new egg.
If in every crisis we turn to alcohol, we are doomed to keep repeating the pattern with no hope for improvement.
But if we dare to stop the drinking, we have a chance to find a “hen:” a state of emotional stability that will enable us to withstand troubles without being defeated.
It takes guts not to cave at first when you’re really suffering.
But if you put in the time and effort to invest in your own growth, you will have access to a hen, from which you can get as many “eggs” of strength and wisdom as you need to face real life.
Tough it out! Hold out for the hen!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: Free
Posts: 902
My goodness, that’s gold, Mags! (Bad pun accidental!)
I have a drawing on my “Vision Board” I guess you’d call it, that has a dot for “here”, and and arrow to a dot in the “future”. And I wrote, “what you do here” (now), “affects here” (future). And it is what I strive to remember. I’ve expanded on the concept a little more this year, and written, “what is the best thing I can do today for future me?”....it reminds me to care for myself and love myself. I also wrote little future notes to myself in my planner for this year. Tiny things but all part of reminding me that self care is central to a healthy life.
we are not getting any younger. In fact, I was reading “The Lazarus Strategy” which talks about our years of 50 and beyond. And he said, basically just because you don’t see illness on the outside, if you aren’t living healthy, you are getting sick on the inside, you just can’t see it yet. If I’m lucky enough to live into old age, I don’t want to be infirm because of stupid things I did now that could have eased preventable diseases.
Sorry, just talking out loud. But to Dees point and to the beautiful post from Mags/Kathy. We all have to have a plan. A well-lived life has self discipline and never happens by accident. That’s a fact.
I have a drawing on my “Vision Board” I guess you’d call it, that has a dot for “here”, and and arrow to a dot in the “future”. And I wrote, “what you do here” (now), “affects here” (future). And it is what I strive to remember. I’ve expanded on the concept a little more this year, and written, “what is the best thing I can do today for future me?”....it reminds me to care for myself and love myself. I also wrote little future notes to myself in my planner for this year. Tiny things but all part of reminding me that self care is central to a healthy life.
we are not getting any younger. In fact, I was reading “The Lazarus Strategy” which talks about our years of 50 and beyond. And he said, basically just because you don’t see illness on the outside, if you aren’t living healthy, you are getting sick on the inside, you just can’t see it yet. If I’m lucky enough to live into old age, I don’t want to be infirm because of stupid things I did now that could have eased preventable diseases.
Sorry, just talking out loud. But to Dees point and to the beautiful post from Mags/Kathy. We all have to have a plan. A well-lived life has self discipline and never happens by accident. That’s a fact.
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,700
CW, great post. It’s so true that what we do today affects our lives later, whether it be food, drink, relationships...basically everything.
When I was drinking I really didn’t think about all the damage I was doing inside, any pains in my stomach and liver I tried to ignore, how crazy is addiction.
I just had a stomach bug or food poisoning in the last few days (much better this morning, back to normal) but it was horrendous.
But when I look back over the last few days I realised when I was drinking and felt so bad with hangovers I just rode it out. It was part of drinking that I was gonna feel horrible for a while. My addictive brain okaying it and rationalizing it for me to drink. Crazy.
Hoping everyone is keeping well and safe.
We’ve gone into a another phase of lockdown, the numbers are high with this new strain of the virus, and they’re trying to bring them down. They can’t get the vaccine out quick enough.
Take care. xxxx
When I was drinking I really didn’t think about all the damage I was doing inside, any pains in my stomach and liver I tried to ignore, how crazy is addiction.
I just had a stomach bug or food poisoning in the last few days (much better this morning, back to normal) but it was horrendous.
But when I look back over the last few days I realised when I was drinking and felt so bad with hangovers I just rode it out. It was part of drinking that I was gonna feel horrible for a while. My addictive brain okaying it and rationalizing it for me to drink. Crazy.
Hoping everyone is keeping well and safe.
We’ve gone into a another phase of lockdown, the numbers are high with this new strain of the virus, and they’re trying to bring them down. They can’t get the vaccine out quick enough.Take care. xxxx
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: Free
Posts: 902
Yes, thinking of you all there, Mags. Horrible numbers in the UK right now. Same for you Bob and Suze (and Croutie), hope the vaccine can bring us all some hope and freedom.
You are so right about the feeling sick. Totally crazy that life that addiction requires us to live. Feeling sick, and little things like balance and vision disturbances.
Grateful for simple things like being able to read and paint happily without attention loss or vision disturbances.
Thinking of you Croutie and Leshar. Hope the holiday season had some small joys, or at least times of comfort in special memories of your husbands. xx
You are so right about the feeling sick. Totally crazy that life that addiction requires us to live. Feeling sick, and little things like balance and vision disturbances.
Grateful for simple things like being able to read and paint happily without attention loss or vision disturbances.
Thinking of you Croutie and Leshar. Hope the holiday season had some small joys, or at least times of comfort in special memories of your husbands. xx
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Georgia
Posts: 711
Thank you for the kind thoughts CW. I can’t say there was much joy associated with the holidays for me, but I think it was a small victory just getting through it without a major meltdown.....(although there were a few mini ones...)
The isolation is finally getting to me. I wish I could just go to the various churches in my area, sit in the back and listen to the sermon and pray. It might sound odd, but I used to do that a lot....even sitting in empty chapels.
It was comforting to me and I liked hearing the different approaches from the denominations. Maybe after I am vaccinated and life gets somewhat back to normal I’ll resume......
It has certainly been a very sad and difficult year. I don’t know what to expect day to day anymore. Thank goodness I have my sweet dogs; I’d be SO lonely without them....they are my constant companions. They are part of my reason for going on; they need and depend on me.
I think of you all very often....how you are coping during this pandemic and getting along in life. I hope things are manageable and as Meghan Markle said, it’s not enough to survive you’ve got to thrive.....I hope you are all thriving.
Wishing you the best.
Love,
Croutie
The isolation is finally getting to me. I wish I could just go to the various churches in my area, sit in the back and listen to the sermon and pray. It might sound odd, but I used to do that a lot....even sitting in empty chapels.
It was comforting to me and I liked hearing the different approaches from the denominations. Maybe after I am vaccinated and life gets somewhat back to normal I’ll resume......
It has certainly been a very sad and difficult year. I don’t know what to expect day to day anymore. Thank goodness I have my sweet dogs; I’d be SO lonely without them....they are my constant companions. They are part of my reason for going on; they need and depend on me.
I think of you all very often....how you are coping during this pandemic and getting along in life. I hope things are manageable and as Meghan Markle said, it’s not enough to survive you’ve got to thrive.....I hope you are all thriving.
Wishing you the best.
Love,
Croutie
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: Free
Posts: 902
Croutie love. “Small joys”, may not be the right phrase, but you are right, A small victory, I’d say a huge one to get through your first holiday without your beloved. I’m wondering if there’s a pastoral program you could at least reach out to? Covid has limited us all, but perhaps a call to one of your local churches to see what outreach they are doing might help? Even if it’s a visit and a chat through your window or something?
I attended a grief group back in 2015 after a death in my family in 2014. I wasn’t even strong enough to talk about some things until a year later. I know everyone is different and I’m renowned for making suggestions, but definitely not suggesting I have the answers. Just sharing if there’s some option that might resonate.
if not, you’ll have to just settle for our virtual hugs!!!
Grief is one of the loneliest conditions and I’m sorry dear lady for what you are experiencing. Grief is that bittersweet price we pay for love and connection.
I attended a grief group back in 2015 after a death in my family in 2014. I wasn’t even strong enough to talk about some things until a year later. I know everyone is different and I’m renowned for making suggestions, but definitely not suggesting I have the answers. Just sharing if there’s some option that might resonate.
if not, you’ll have to just settle for our virtual hugs!!!
Grief is one of the loneliest conditions and I’m sorry dear lady for what you are experiencing. Grief is that bittersweet price we pay for love and connection.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 11,351
Oh geez, I just did a big long post and was just about to click and my iPad went blank and I lost it 
:
I'll try again later , so frustrating when that happens.
loved reading the posts some really good things to ponder on.
I'm 2 weeks sober today and feeling the best I have in months.
2021 is going to be a good year xx
so happy to see you Croutie xx
:I'll try again later , so frustrating when that happens.
loved reading the posts some really good things to ponder on.
I'm 2 weeks sober today and feeling the best I have in months.
2021 is going to be a good year xx
so happy to see you Croutie xx
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,473
These days the site auto saves Snoozy - if you lose a post you should see a button in the bottom left of the post box marked 'restore auto saved content'... just hit that in future
D
D
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,700
Good to see you Croutie. I think this year we’ve all been ‘treading’ water wondering what on Earth, and what next. With your grief on top of this is a lot for you to bear. I hope you soon have the vaccine and be able to visit your church. Is there any online meetings you can join? There seems to be a lot of meet ups online.
Snoozy, yeah that auto-save Dee mentioned is great! I use it all the time.
Congratulations on two weeks that’s great.
Love to all Julyers xxxx
Snoozy, yeah that auto-save Dee mentioned is great! I use it all the time.
Congratulations on two weeks that’s great.
Love to all Julyers xxxx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,534
I have never seen that restore post box.....hmmm....very interesting.
(Maybe because I have never lost a post? )
Congrats dearest Wendy on two weeks....that is fantastic love!! 
❤️❤️
(Maybe because I have never lost a post?
)Congrats dearest Wendy on two weeks....that is fantastic love!!
❤️❤️
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: Free
Posts: 902
Originally Posted by venuscat 
I have never seen that restore post box.....hmmm....very interesting.
(Maybe because I have never lost a post? )
Congrats dearest Wendy on two weeks....that is fantastic love!! ❤️❤️
(Maybe because I have never lost a post?
)Congrats dearest Wendy on two weeks....that is fantastic love!!
❤️❤️Jokes, but seriously, it’s a pain cos it always happened on my long emotional posts where I was pouring out my soul on something! So glad it’s got a fix now!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: Free
Posts: 902
Originally Posted by venuscat
He he sorry love. Just luck. Plus we have very very fast internet here. s ❤️
s ❤️And yes, what internet could be slower than Straya. Seriously. Annoying at times.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 11,351
Originally Posted by Dee74
These days the site auto saves Snoozy - if you lose a post you should see a button in the bottom left of the post box marked 'restore auto saved content'... just hit that in future
D
D
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