Class of May 2020 Part 5
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Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,097
Originally Posted by Fallow 
Bacon soda? Is this real? Gotta say it sounds horrible. And I do like bacon. I smoked a couple racks of ribs over the weekend that turned out pretty good. Maybe I will check amazon for bacon soda lol. Ewww.
Not sure what happened to me emotionally today. I had some sort of internal meltdown. It lasted a long time. Everything seems to be breaking, everyone is complaining, money is flying out the window. Not sure how to handle anything really. Stressful times. Sad part is I figure it's only getting worse from here. Wish I could numb it out honestly.
But I didn't drink! Didn't really think about drinking so much as the thought I really have nothing to look forward to. Nothing in my life really excites me for the future. I am on a merry go round of responsibilities. There are no real calming elements either. Seems like a guy just fighting battle after battle, always anticipating the bitter end.
Welp, that's my depressing anecdote for the evening. Hopefully tomorrow will be better but it doesn't look like it from here.
Good night all!
Not sure what happened to me emotionally today. I had some sort of internal meltdown. It lasted a long time. Everything seems to be breaking, everyone is complaining, money is flying out the window. Not sure how to handle anything really. Stressful times. Sad part is I figure it's only getting worse from here. Wish I could numb it out honestly.
But I didn't drink! Didn't really think about drinking so much as the thought I really have nothing to look forward to. Nothing in my life really excites me for the future. I am on a merry go round of responsibilities. There are no real calming elements either. Seems like a guy just fighting battle after battle, always anticipating the bitter end.
Welp, that's my depressing anecdote for the evening. Hopefully tomorrow will be better but it doesn't look like it from here.
Good night all!
You do sound a bit low today. Unfortunately I don't have a miracle cure, but I can only share with you the knowledge that all of us have crap days when nothing goes right. It makes us sad, and when the sad hormones kick in, it is hard to see a shining light ahead.. Just know that tomorrow or the next day, you will feel a bit happier as long as you keep away from the alcohol. When that happens, make sure you focus on all the little bits of beauty and your future will look so much brighter. You might even be able to work out how to delegate some of the responsibilities/battles to lighten your load (unless you are like me and need to do things myself so it is only me to blame if it goes wrong - I think control freak is almost the right term).
Well done not using the day as an excuse to pick up a drink - fantastic!!!!
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Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 437
I think bacon soda may have misunderstood
Not as in soda drink. Bit in the UK we have a type.of bread called soda bread, so a bacon soda uses soda bread instead of normal bread....over here it's half fried,then the bacon goes in
Apologies if I sound obsessed with bacon,I'm usually not 😂
Good reading people's posts, I was out walking the dog this morning and I had been watching a BBC program last night about leftist groups in the UK at present and with everything that's happening how it all just seems really very worrying...adding Covid-19 in top of this seems very bleak but all I can do is work on staying sober.
Start of Day 37! Feeling good too:-)
Not as in soda drink. Bit in the UK we have a type.of bread called soda bread, so a bacon soda uses soda bread instead of normal bread....over here it's half fried,then the bacon goes in
Apologies if I sound obsessed with bacon,I'm usually not 😂
Good reading people's posts, I was out walking the dog this morning and I had been watching a BBC program last night about leftist groups in the UK at present and with everything that's happening how it all just seems really very worrying...adding Covid-19 in top of this seems very bleak but all I can do is work on staying sober.
Start of Day 37! Feeling good too:-)
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Morning all 
Hopeful - your thoughts are not stupid at all. They are real and valid and certainly sensible to think of the situation before it arises. You know what your friend is like and if she is one to try and get others to drink your concerns are valid. I think getting your husband to drop the gift off and say you are unwell is a great idea and will prevent any worrying on your part and any attempts at persuasion on hers. When you have more solid sober time these situations will be easier to deal with, as you know
Didit congrats on 1 month 
The bacon butty looks fantastic! Enjoy. I must admit I don't like the idea of pork. I like it but don't eat it as don't like the idea of it if that makes sense. I'm not Muslim or Jewish but totally get why some religions won't eat it. Zombie - I knew you meant bacon on soda bread
Great to see you Dig and well done on your sober time and meeting friends and not drinking
Fallow- hope your day improves and good on you for not picking up. Think the strain is really beginning to show for so many people now.
WL- I started on Narcos, managed the first season but wasn't keen on the chap talking over the action all the time! Hope you enjoy it though
Coz-I am saying similar things to my son. How old are your sons? Mine is really struggling but I keep telling him the end is in sight.
TC - hope you get a good sleep and see you tomorrow
Off to work now, take care all
Hopeful - your thoughts are not stupid at all. They are real and valid and certainly sensible to think of the situation before it arises. You know what your friend is like and if she is one to try and get others to drink your concerns are valid. I think getting your husband to drop the gift off and say you are unwell is a great idea and will prevent any worrying on your part and any attempts at persuasion on hers. When you have more solid sober time these situations will be easier to deal with, as you know
Didit congrats on 1 month
The bacon butty looks fantastic! Enjoy. I must admit I don't like the idea of pork. I like it but don't eat it as don't like the idea of it if that makes sense. I'm not Muslim or Jewish but totally get why some religions won't eat it. Zombie - I knew you meant bacon on soda bread
Great to see you Dig and well done on your sober time and meeting friends and not drinking
Fallow- hope your day improves and good on you for not picking up. Think the strain is really beginning to show for so many people now.
WL- I started on Narcos, managed the first season but wasn't keen on the chap talking over the action all the time! Hope you enjoy it though
Coz-I am saying similar things to my son. How old are your sons? Mine is really struggling but I keep telling him the end is in sight.
TC - hope you get a good sleep and see you tomorrow
Off to work now, take care all
Re-Tread
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Meditation
Posts: 1,300
Originally Posted by Zombie79
I think bacon soda may have misunderstood
Not as in soda drink. Bit in the UK we have a type.of bread called soda bread, so a bacon soda uses soda bread instead of normal bread....over here it's half fried,then the bacon goes in.
Not as in soda drink. Bit in the UK we have a type.of bread called soda bread, so a bacon soda uses soda bread instead of normal bread....over here it's half fried,then the bacon goes in.
Had a good sleep. I feel ready to face the day even though I know I am already out of time. My refridgerator has an issue so we emptied it and it is defrosting. Its always something.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Georgia, USA
Posts: 2,229
It's so good to see our class members back and posting.
I hope your day goes better today, Fallow. It's hard to feel like your life is only responsibilities, I know from experience. It sounds like you need something fun to do. Something that brings you meaning or joy or both. Stay sober and you will find it.
Early days are tough anyway, but add in this virus and the other crazy things going on in our world, and it's truly amazing that we are doing this. We are so fortunate, there are so many addicts that are using more than ever and are suffering terribly.
I'm going to have another busy day today. I'll be back later!
I hope your day goes better today, Fallow. It's hard to feel like your life is only responsibilities, I know from experience. It sounds like you need something fun to do. Something that brings you meaning or joy or both. Stay sober and you will find it.
Early days are tough anyway, but add in this virus and the other crazy things going on in our world, and it's truly amazing that we are doing this. We are so fortunate, there are so many addicts that are using more than ever and are suffering terribly.
I'm going to have another busy day today. I'll be back later!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 207
Fallow, I hope you are feeling a bit better today. This is such a strange and difficult time. The Mister and I are retired and drawing from our IRAs and his SS, so the job market isn't a concern for us. But the staying home for months and being separated from family and friends is hard. Zoom and Facetime only do so much. I will say, that I did feel much better after the Mister and I went to a local public garden and walked around looking at the flowers. The buildings were closed, so no conservatory visit, but we were able to talk around all the outdoor gardens (with masks, and avoiding getting close to others). Even saw a great heron taking off near a large pond. Balm for the soul. And free; we've been twice. We have also done 2 long rambling drives in the country, also good for the soul.
Hopeful, we social psychologists talk about "mental rehearsal," planning in advance for what to say and do in a given circumstance. And sometimes, that rehearsing leads us to learn that we need to avoid certain circumstances. It is a wise and useful tool. Keep using it!
Day 62 for me; 2 months in the books as of last night, and beginning month 3. Feeling strong, no cravings.
Today I get to see my sister and Mom & Dad for the first time since March 10 (parents) and Leap Day (my sister). So very psyched about that. My sister and I are going to get carryout from my favorite Mexican restaurant and eat on our home deck, because the Mister doesn't want me to eat at a restaurant (length of exposure) and I'm okay with that. But first, I need to get dressed and drop off food for our church's ministry where we provide two dinners a month for a men's shelter. This ministry is very important to me, and I'm grateful that we have found a way to continue during the pandemic.
Have a great sober day everyone.
Hopeful, we social psychologists talk about "mental rehearsal," planning in advance for what to say and do in a given circumstance. And sometimes, that rehearsing leads us to learn that we need to avoid certain circumstances. It is a wise and useful tool. Keep using it!
Day 62 for me; 2 months in the books as of last night, and beginning month 3. Feeling strong, no cravings.
Today I get to see my sister and Mom & Dad for the first time since March 10 (parents) and Leap Day (my sister). So very psyched about that. My sister and I are going to get carryout from my favorite Mexican restaurant and eat on our home deck, because the Mister doesn't want me to eat at a restaurant (length of exposure) and I'm okay with that. But first, I need to get dressed and drop off food for our church's ministry where we provide two dinners a month for a men's shelter. This ministry is very important to me, and I'm grateful that we have found a way to continue during the pandemic.
Have a great sober day everyone.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,538
(((Fallow))) ❤️
I know that feeling, that it is 'always something'.
But I also know that when I am in a good place emotionally and looking after myself physically, I think completely differently.....I think yep, life happens.....and I just deal with it. I put music on and work with a smile.
At the moment, I find I need to work a little harder to find the smile, but I keep trying.
s
I know that feeling, that it is 'always something'.
But I also know that when I am in a good place emotionally and looking after myself physically, I think completely differently.....I think yep, life happens.....and I just deal with it. I put music on and work with a smile.
At the moment, I find I need to work a little harder to find the smile, but I keep trying.
s
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,538
Also.....Lily, this is wonderful advice. Thank you. s
I do this a lot, the rehearsal, and I tend to use rational/emotive tools to keep my self-talk on track, but I had never progressed to the idea that this tool can help us to see that we might need to avoid a situation.
But I see it now....and you have just helped me to not have a conversation with someone that will ultimately anger me. Thank you, big time. xxxxxxxxxxxxxx s
s
Hopeful, we social psychologists talk about "mental rehearsal," planning in advance for what to say and do in a given circumstance. And sometimes, that rehearsing leads us to learn that we need to avoid certain circumstances. It is a wise and useful tool. Keep using it!
But I see it now....and you have just helped me to not have a conversation with someone that will ultimately anger me. Thank you, big time. xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
s
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Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Georgia, USA
Posts: 2,229
That was really good advice for me, to Lilly. I am still planning the talk with my kids. I think rehearsing it is a great idea. Part of my issue is that I don't want to talk about money with them. I don't think it's any of their business how I will manage without a job. But, I don't know how to say that. I love the idea of rehearsing it, maybe even writing it down on paper. I can figure out how to say it nicely, give them the information they need, but not go into things I don't need to.
I hope everyone has a good afternoon. I'm sorry so many are feeling down. I am a little bit, too, but trying to work around it. Hugs to all.
I hope everyone has a good afternoon. I'm sorry so many are feeling down. I am a little bit, too, but trying to work around it. Hugs to all.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Hi everyone,
Lily-walking around gardens are so peaceful aren't they. Are you anywhere near Longwood? I nearly went with work a few years ago but it ended up cancelled
I hope you have a lovely time with your parents.
Fallow, I hope you have had a better day today.
Venur-ewww from me on raisins too
Karen-sending hugs and positive thoughts to you.x
I've had one of those days too. Is this all there is? Only been back at work a couple of weeks - don't get me wrong, I love my job and am lucky to work good hours and in a lovely place. But, the monotony of life is tedious sometimes. I'm tired and think what else is there. I'm sure it's because we are still in lockdown. Though it has been lifted more in England today we are still locked down here. I know so many people are feeling the same. Plus I've been eating rubbish too, far too much sugar which makes me feel down and lethargic. On a positive note I have no thoughts of drinking
Lily-walking around gardens are so peaceful aren't they. Are you anywhere near Longwood? I nearly went with work a few years ago but it ended up cancelled
I hope you have a lovely time with your parents. Fallow, I hope you have had a better day today.
Venur-ewww from me on raisins too
Karen-sending hugs and positive thoughts to you.x
I've had one of those days too. Is this all there is? Only been back at work a couple of weeks - don't get me wrong, I love my job and am lucky to work good hours and in a lovely place. But, the monotony of life is tedious sometimes. I'm tired and think what else is there. I'm sure it's because we are still in lockdown. Though it has been lifted more in England today we are still locked down here. I know so many people are feeling the same. Plus I've been eating rubbish too, far too much sugar which makes me feel down and lethargic. On a positive note I have no thoughts of drinking
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
I sympathize with everyone. These are just strange times. I am feeling mild symptoms of Coronavirus. Called a hotline and they said to just self-quarantine. I don't know if it is Coronavirus but I live in a high density area and pass by many people just going to the grocery store.
I am not a high risk. I am relatively healthy with no medical conditions. Just a runny nose and slight fever. I am about 75% sure it's Coronavirus because I haven't been sick for years. (Besides alcohol withdrawal)
I am not a high risk. I am relatively healthy with no medical conditions. Just a runny nose and slight fever. I am about 75% sure it's Coronavirus because I haven't been sick for years. (Besides alcohol withdrawal)
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,538
Karen honey.....I would say that I have enough saved to retire, thank you I am fine.
Something like that....really, it is your life sweetheart: your children don't get to tell you what to do at this point....if they are really worried, they could kick in more money to household expenses to help you out s xx
Something like that....really, it is your life sweetheart: your children don't get to tell you what to do at this point....if they are really worried, they could kick in more money to household expenses to help you out
s xx
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,538
I really think the "is this all there is" stuff is the AV trying to be clever. Err, is what all there is?
Feeling well and not being in the middle of some massive drama that we have created?
Yeah.....maybe......did we want to feel horrendous and ashamed and trying to figure out what lies we told to who in order to be what...busy? Busy trying to dig out of the mess? Sure, it wasn't boring....lots of heart-racing stuff followed by mugs of wine followed by drunken hours and blackouts and more shame?
I heard in AA a lot that many of us are addicted to the drama. I thought really? No way, not me.
Hmm.
Yes me....I grew up in drama, and I got comfortable there....I knew how to survive there....so I created my own.
Feeling well and not being in the middle of some massive drama that we have created?
Yeah.....maybe......did we want to feel horrendous and ashamed and trying to figure out what lies we told to who in order to be what...busy? Busy trying to dig out of the mess? Sure, it wasn't boring....lots of heart-racing stuff followed by mugs of wine followed by drunken hours and blackouts and more shame?
I heard in AA a lot that many of us are addicted to the drama. I thought really? No way, not me.
Hmm.
Yes me....I grew up in drama, and I got comfortable there....I knew how to survive there....so I created my own.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
Venuscat, I like what you said about being caught up in drama. I have been living in drama for years. It's my own making for sure. Unintentional, but just the nature of an alcoholic. Sober I am chilled out. The alcohol is where the drama starts for me. I am a "Jekyll and Hyde' drinker.
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Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 207
RAL, I live a couple of hours from Longwood, but have been there a few times. My brother and SIL are only 20 minutes from Longwood and have a membership. We went with them to see the gorgeous Christmas displays last December.
I also love Chanticleer Gardens (in or near Wayne, PA) and hope to visit with my SIL before this season is over.
I also love Chanticleer Gardens (in or near Wayne, PA) and hope to visit with my SIL before this season is over.
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Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 364
"Stay in the moment, Dig!" / an interesting comment from my therapist today when I was sharing with him all the shame/guilt I feel around my past alcohol use. Learning to accept that I won't ever really get anything back from the past or get to do it again to make it right in my mind. But I can stay in the moment and start making things immediately better going forward, which will equal a happier Dig overall.
I said at first that's just easy to say and doing it is way harder. True. To some extent. But you can use tools to help yourself out - so for me, the sports bracelet that my daughter gave me already was being used as a subtle reminder that being sober is better than drinking, but now I'm adding the thought "Stay in the moment, Dig!" whenever I need to look at it.
Thought I'd share this... these things may help others, they may not, but I find just reading on here you learn lots and can try so many things until something clicks in your mind.
I'm sitting down to pay bills... blaaaaarggggghhhh... that is life though! Then Zzz in Canada, eh!
Hope everyone is well.
I said at first that's just easy to say and doing it is way harder. True. To some extent. But you can use tools to help yourself out - so for me, the sports bracelet that my daughter gave me already was being used as a subtle reminder that being sober is better than drinking, but now I'm adding the thought "Stay in the moment, Dig!" whenever I need to look at it.
Thought I'd share this... these things may help others, they may not, but I find just reading on here you learn lots and can try so many things until something clicks in your mind.
I'm sitting down to pay bills... blaaaaarggggghhhh... that is life though! Then Zzz in Canada, eh!
Hope everyone is well.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 510
Dig- Great job going out with friends and not drinking. I agree. It is very cool that we can all talk about anything. Love it. And you always have such wonderful advice. Thank you.
Fallow- Hang in there. Sometimes I just say it has to get better because it can’t get worse. I’m sure it’s not that bad but you know. Glad you got some good sleep. That always helps.
Lily- I feel like I do that “mental rehearsal” a lot. Sometimes to my detriment. But I must. Congrats on 2 months. Wonderful!
Karen- Just me but I don’t think it’s necessary to explain anything regarding money. You are the parent here.
Ral- Sorry you are going stir crazy with the lockdown. I’m not on lockdown but honestly I just don’t feel comfortable being in public for much and I don’t enjoy wearing a mask. And our numbers are increasing like crazy so it keeps me in and happy to be in.
WL- Hoping you just have a simple cold.
Coz- I didn’t see my friend. I sent my husband over early to drop off the gift on her doorstep and then I texted her to let it know it was there. We communicated by text only thankfully. She is most definitely an alcoholic and she can get pretty crazy when she drinks so I wan’t comfortable dealing with it just now.
I’ve been good today. I honestly don’t know where the day went though. I don’t really know what I did with my day. Oh I had to think for a moment. I put about 10 quarts of bone broth away that I been cooking for the past 24 hours. Now I’m making more. Love it. I feel like it helps me on so many levels. I have a cup every morning after my coffee. If anyone has any joint problems I highly recommend it.
You all have a wonderful day/evening/night.
Hope
Fallow- Hang in there. Sometimes I just say it has to get better because it can’t get worse. I’m sure it’s not that bad but you know. Glad you got some good sleep. That always helps.
Lily- I feel like I do that “mental rehearsal” a lot. Sometimes to my detriment. But I must. Congrats on 2 months. Wonderful!
Karen- Just me but I don’t think it’s necessary to explain anything regarding money. You are the parent here.
Ral- Sorry you are going stir crazy with the lockdown. I’m not on lockdown but honestly I just don’t feel comfortable being in public for much and I don’t enjoy wearing a mask. And our numbers are increasing like crazy so it keeps me in and happy to be in.
WL- Hoping you just have a simple cold.
Coz- I didn’t see my friend. I sent my husband over early to drop off the gift on her doorstep and then I texted her to let it know it was there. We communicated by text only thankfully. She is most definitely an alcoholic and she can get pretty crazy when she drinks so I wan’t comfortable dealing with it just now.
I’ve been good today. I honestly don’t know where the day went though. I don’t really know what I did with my day. Oh I had to think for a moment. I put about 10 quarts of bone broth away that I been cooking for the past 24 hours. Now I’m making more. Love it. I feel like it helps me on so many levels. I have a cup every morning after my coffee. If anyone has any joint problems I highly recommend it.
You all have a wonderful day/evening/night.
Hope
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