Class of March 2020 Part 5
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Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 2,279
Morning all - hi suze, hope you are ok? You are very much missed when you are not about, you've been a great support to all of us.
Yeah the house is one we've lived in for a long time as a family. Yes it's complicated!! I still
havent heard about that bloody job, which is really long and makes me think I'm unsuccessful, apart from they did they would contact me either way...the reason for bringing that up in the same breath as the house and separation as they are all linked. It's complicated and lots of things rely on lots of others
Yeah the house is one we've lived in for a long time as a family. Yes it's complicated!! I still
havent heard about that bloody job, which is really long and makes me think I'm unsuccessful, apart from they did they would contact me either way...the reason for bringing that up in the same breath as the house and separation as they are all linked. It's complicated and lots of things rely on lots of others
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Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 1,254
Hi everyone hope your all ok.
Thinking of you venus and hope your ok.
BE hopefully you will hear from job soon and then you can start making some plans for the future.
Nothing much happening for me, feel just bit meh, but think thats after incident with mam again. I just need to learn how to put the hurtful comments out of my head.
Thinking of you venus and hope your ok.
BE hopefully you will hear from job soon and then you can start making some plans for the future.
Nothing much happening for me, feel just bit meh, but think thats after incident with mam again. I just need to learn how to put the hurtful comments out of my head.
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Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Big hugs Suze 
xxxxxxxx
Be I hope they contact you soon and you can start moving forward. I imagine you might feel like you’re in limbo at the moment.
I’m off to bed after yet another busy day. Very grateful there’s been not a peep out of the AV.
Goodnight everyone x
xxxxxxxxBe I hope they contact you soon and you can start moving forward. I imagine you might feel like you’re in limbo at the moment.
I’m off to bed after yet another busy day. Very grateful there’s been not a peep out of the AV.
Goodnight everyone x
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,709
Originally Posted by Tinkerbeau 
Hi everyone hope your all ok.
Thinking of you venus and hope your ok.
BE hopefully you will hear from job soon and then you can start making some plans for the future.
Nothing much happening for me, feel just bit meh, but think thats after incident with mam again. I just need to learn how to put the hurtful comments out of my head.
Thinking of you venus and hope your ok.
BE hopefully you will hear from job soon and then you can start making some plans for the future.
Nothing much happening for me, feel just bit meh, but think thats after incident with mam again. I just need to learn how to put the hurtful comments out of my head.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,709
Originally Posted by Be123
Morning all - hi suze, hope you are ok? You are very much missed when you are not about, you've been a great support to all of us.
Yeah the house is one we've lived in for a long time as a family. Yes it's complicated!! I still
havent heard about that bloody job, which is really long and makes me think I'm unsuccessful, apart from they did they would contact me either way...the reason for bringing that up in the same breath as the house and separation as they are all linked. It's complicated and lots of things rely on lots of others
Yeah the house is one we've lived in for a long time as a family. Yes it's complicated!! I still
havent heard about that bloody job, which is really long and makes me think I'm unsuccessful, apart from they did they would contact me either way...the reason for bringing that up in the same breath as the house and separation as they are all linked. It's complicated and lots of things rely on lots of others
sIf you get the job, you have a plan moving forward where you are away at work during the week and at home with family/kids on the weekends. And you both have your space....
If you don't get the job, that means looking for another one and if it is close to home it doesn't solve the problem of how you two move forward....no one is keen to have to leave the house, understandably.
But, if this ends up being the case, one of you may need to move out. One of you may need to take an apartment perhaps close by so it works out easily for the kids and minding them and school and everything.
Not perfect, but maybe?
s ❤️
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,709
I found it Tink.....
― William P. Young, The Shack
(I didn't separate that, and I can't un-separate it for some reason....)
“Forgiveness is not about forgetting. It is about letting go of another person's throat......Forgiveness does not create a relationship. Unless people speak the truth about what they have done and change their mind and behavior, a relationship of trust is not possible. When you forgive someone you certainly release them from judgment, but without true change, no real relationship can be established.........Forgiveness in no way requires that you trust the one you forgive. But should they finally confess and repent, you will discover a miracle in your own heart that allows you to reach out and begin to build between you a bridge of reconciliation.........Forgiveness does not excuse anything.........You may have to declare your forgiveness a hundred times the first day and the second day, but the third day will be less and each day after, until one day you will realize that you have forgiven completely. And then one day you will pray for his wholeness......”
― William P. Young, The Shack
(I didn't separate that, and I can't un-separate it for some reason....)
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Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 2,279
Night all. Hope you have a good night, or good day.
How did you leave it with your mum, Tink? Did you say you wouldn't see her again, or are the lines of communication still open? I think it may be hard to move forward until you know how you want the relationship to work.
Im just exhausted and in a very low place at the minute. Plenty of crying, finding it hard to find a reason to keep on (with life, not sobriety). Very grateful I'm sober to face this, it would be unmanageable drunk
How did you leave it with your mum, Tink? Did you say you wouldn't see her again, or are the lines of communication still open? I think it may be hard to move forward until you know how you want the relationship to work.
Im just exhausted and in a very low place at the minute. Plenty of crying, finding it hard to find a reason to keep on (with life, not sobriety). Very grateful I'm sober to face this, it would be unmanageable drunk
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Originally Posted by Be123
Night all. Hope you have a good night, or good day.
How did you leave it with your mum, Tink? Did you say you wouldn't see her again, or are the lines of communication still open? I think it may be hard to move forward until you know how you want the relationship to work.
Im just exhausted and in a very low place at the minute. Plenty of crying, finding it hard to find a reason to keep on (with life, not sobriety). Very grateful I'm sober to face this, it would be unmanageable drunk
How did you leave it with your mum, Tink? Did you say you wouldn't see her again, or are the lines of communication still open? I think it may be hard to move forward until you know how you want the relationship to work.
Im just exhausted and in a very low place at the minute. Plenty of crying, finding it hard to find a reason to keep on (with life, not sobriety). Very grateful I'm sober to face this, it would be unmanageable drunk
so sorry you are feeling so down and sad, it's amazing that you recognise so readily that it would be even worse with a drink, shows how far you have come. Difficult to know how to move forward with your situation but I thought Suze's comment about possibly you moving into an apartment if the job moving away doesn't come off sounded like a good suggestion. Do you think that is something you might consider? Either way sending you a massive hug!!!
Tink, are you feeling a little better at all? sending you and Suze a hug as well.
Hi to everyone else (Bilr, Dee)
nothing much to report, really tired at present, still eating too much chocolate! Have been thinking about my favourite tipple quite a lot over the last few days although it hasn't translated into actual cravings and when I confront those feelings I don't want to drink at all so goodness knows why they are plaguing my head. I do remember pretty much twisting my own arm to recommence drinking some years back when I managed 2 months and even then I'm sure I kind of just talked myself into it. I'm not going to entertain those ideas. Life is better and brighter from a sober point of view. Good night everybody
Love Billy x
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Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 1,254
Be so sorry your feeling so low, i know it must be really hard, you have your kids and they love and need you. I know your stuck in limbo waiting to hear on job, but hopefully you will hear soon then making plans for future might help give you something to focus on. You are right though being sober will help you cope so much better. I massively regret drinking when my marriage ended i made it so much harder for myself.
It was just left with my mam with me hanging up on her and not heard from her since. This is something that happens every few months, she goes off on one doesn't stop till she has said as many hurtful nasty comments as possible, don't hear from her for a while, then she will get in touch apologise, things be ok for few months then repeat ..... but everytime the comments stick in my head more and I'm more distant, always waiting for next outburst and the things she says seem to be getting nastier and more vindictive each time, especially in past 2 and half years since my dad had his stroke, which she blamed me for causing. Then to say she would tell my son i stopped his dad from seeing him is just a real step to far i think. I just don't think i can put myself through it anymore. If anyone else said those things to me i certainly would not be wanting to ever sit in a room with them again. I guess its just guilt because she's my mam and you think you should get on. Plus the constant being told everything ive done is wrong makes me question myself and my decisions all the time.
Hi Billy im eating too much chocolate and sweets too still, though ive cut down abit but I gave up worrying about that for now ha ha
Well not been sleeping good but see if i can tonight.
It was just left with my mam with me hanging up on her and not heard from her since. This is something that happens every few months, she goes off on one doesn't stop till she has said as many hurtful nasty comments as possible, don't hear from her for a while, then she will get in touch apologise, things be ok for few months then repeat ..... but everytime the comments stick in my head more and I'm more distant, always waiting for next outburst and the things she says seem to be getting nastier and more vindictive each time, especially in past 2 and half years since my dad had his stroke, which she blamed me for causing. Then to say she would tell my son i stopped his dad from seeing him is just a real step to far i think. I just don't think i can put myself through it anymore. If anyone else said those things to me i certainly would not be wanting to ever sit in a room with them again. I guess its just guilt because she's my mam and you think you should get on. Plus the constant being told everything ive done is wrong makes me question myself and my decisions all the time.
Hi Billy im eating too much chocolate and sweets too still, though ive cut down abit but I gave up worrying about that for now ha ha
Well not been sleeping good but see if i can tonight.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
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I think that could be the sugar as well Tink, keeping you awake. Plus still being upset about your mum.
Perhaps this time you can do it differently.....next time she calls and says sorry, tell her that you need for that not to happen anymore.
Then if she does it again, perhaps you will feel more comfortable in taking a break from her. :hug; s
Perhaps this time you can do it differently.....next time she calls and says sorry, tell her that you need for that not to happen anymore.
Then if she does it again, perhaps you will feel more comfortable in taking a break from her. :hug; s
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Join Date: Jul 2018
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Hi Billy - 'cravings' are funny things cos we all talk about them but I guess we all experience them differently. I completely get what you mean about talking yourself in to drinking...the weirdest thing with my addiction is that in the past the decision making and 'rational' part of my thinking have moved me towards drinking. If it was a matter of will versus physical desire I think we'd all win much easier, but when the will turns towards drinking too it's a hard task!!
I think that's why some of us keep reminding ourselves of where drinking took us - to keep our current decision making in line with the reality of our addiction.
I find it really hard to put into words how I both REALLY want to drink and REALLY don't want to drink. But as time goes on the desire to drink has almost left me but I still idealise it as a solution to stress, or as a reward, or to add to my social life.
Thanks for your kind words Venus and Tink. I'm having a mid life crisis...everything I have held dear is up in the air. I'm struggling with it but am glad I am aware it happening.
This may sound silly or overly dramatic but I keep in mind Tyson Fury' s recovery from a killer punch by Deontay Wilder. Fury's recovery from mental health and addiction problems was perfectly summed up in that moment, he was literally flat on his back but somehow had the inner strength to get his fat ass off the canvas! It is possible to come out the other side, it's just a very painful process
I think that's why some of us keep reminding ourselves of where drinking took us - to keep our current decision making in line with the reality of our addiction.
I find it really hard to put into words how I both REALLY want to drink and REALLY don't want to drink. But as time goes on the desire to drink has almost left me but I still idealise it as a solution to stress, or as a reward, or to add to my social life.
Thanks for your kind words Venus and Tink. I'm having a mid life crisis...everything I have held dear is up in the air. I'm struggling with it but am glad I am aware it happening.
This may sound silly or overly dramatic but I keep in mind Tyson Fury' s recovery from a killer punch by Deontay Wilder. Fury's recovery from mental health and addiction problems was perfectly summed up in that moment, he was literally flat on his back but somehow had the inner strength to get his fat ass off the canvas! It is possible to come out the other side, it's just a very painful process
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Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 1,254
Morning everyone.
Yes your right Be it is possible to come back from feeling like that, its hard and takes great strength and time but you can do it, and your already sober and becoming the best version of yourself.
Same old day here, home schooling and will get out for a walk. Hope you all have a good day.
Yes your right Be it is possible to come back from feeling like that, its hard and takes great strength and time but you can do it, and your already sober and becoming the best version of yourself.
Same old day here, home schooling and will get out for a walk. Hope you all have a good day.
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Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Hi everyone 
Tink I’m sorry your Mum gets so mean to you
Maybe taking a total break from her isn’t a bad idea, you really don’t need or deserve that negativity in your life
Be I’m so sorry things are getting you down
Life sometimes gets so overwhelming, especially when things are changing and we don’t like the changes. I got really depressed when my Mum and Dad died, and I still struggle to find the meaning of life. Really struggle. Family is the most important thing in my life, and losing my parents really knocked me. I don’t have children of my own and the loss of Mum and Dad has left a huge hole in my life.
I think learning to deal with change, and learning resilience is something we didn’t do well when we were drinking. I don’t feel I ever really learned it. So now it’s difficult trying to learn to live sober, and deal with changes that we don’t like, sober.
Sometimes it really sucks.
I like this from the 24 hour thread:RESILIENCE: "an ability to recover from or adjust easy to misfortune or change"
I really need to develop more resilience. Mine isn’t very strong. I think sobriety helps us develop it somehow x
Tink I’m sorry your Mum gets so mean to you
Maybe taking a total break from her isn’t a bad idea, you really don’t need or deserve that negativity in your life Be I’m so sorry things are getting you down
Life sometimes gets so overwhelming, especially when things are changing and we don’t like the changes. I got really depressed when my Mum and Dad died, and I still struggle to find the meaning of life. Really struggle. Family is the most important thing in my life, and losing my parents really knocked me. I don’t have children of my own and the loss of Mum and Dad has left a huge hole in my life.
I think learning to deal with change, and learning resilience is something we didn’t do well when we were drinking. I don’t feel I ever really learned it. So now it’s difficult trying to learn to live sober, and deal with changes that we don’t like, sober.
Sometimes it really sucks.
I like this from the 24 hour thread:RESILIENCE: "an ability to recover from or adjust easy to misfortune or change"
I really need to develop more resilience. Mine isn’t very strong. I think sobriety helps us develop it somehow x
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