Outonthetiles

Hoping for the best for you, trudging. I was thinking about you all day yesterday.

soberbythesea

trudgingagain

Yes, hubby is going with me. He has sworn to fight this all the way with me....we are truly soulmates who have been together for 25 years....I am not ready to go yet.

venuscat

Really glad to hear that dear trudging. s ❤️❤️

And that really was lovely of your BF last night dear SBTS ❤️

Briansy

25 years is a good stint, Trudging. SBTS, that was indeed v nice of your bf. Makes such a difference doesn't it. Yes, I will come back stronger from this lapse, just got to ride out the next couple of days and all will be well in time for the weekend.

soberbythesea

So glad he is going with you Trudging

I'm home now, spent the whole morning at the coffee shop and then went to see Fantasy Island, which is one of the sillier horror movies I've seen in recent memory. I got my ticket for The Quick & the Dead tonight so looking forward to that in a couple hours.

I started a list in my journal of the movies I've seen this calendar year. Would it surprise anyone to learn I've seen 43 movies so far and today is the 47th day of the year? No? Well alright then.

(Actually, if you count each of the Oscar nominated shorts separately, it'd be well over 50. I lumped all the animated shorts together as one and the live-action shorts together as one, since that's how I saw them.)

Willow00

Sending you so much love and support and hugs Trudging ❤️❤️❤️ xxxxx

Dee74

we're all with you in spirit Trudging

get will soon OOTT

D

soberbythesea

Where is Lixie?

Outonthetiles

trudging, are you doing okay? Please check in.

MagnumCat

We're all thinking of you Trudging. Check in when you can. 💕

Briansy

Morning all. Made it into work today. Spaced out as hell. Looking like crap, feeling like crap, work will suffer majorly this week but at least I know I never need to feel like this again.

How did your appointment go Trudging, was it yesterday?

soberbythesea

Yes trudging, please check in.

Don't worry Briansy, that crap feeling will go away soon!

Day 108. Not feeling entirely ready to start another workweek, but hopefully it will go by quickly since it's only four days. Today should go fast: I have a client meeting, then court, then staff meeting and senior staff meeting this afternoon. Days like that always fly by for me, although it's hard to get much substantive work done. My client meeting might be challenging because my client texted me to say he's homeless and needs a job. Our career people can help him with the job, but housing is an impossible problem in NYC. The best I can tell him is likely to go into the shelter system I hope sometime during my career as a social worker, this city will come up with some better solutions. It's embarrassing. Tonight my bf and I are going to a special screening of Parasite in black & white, so I do have that to look forward to.

Have a great day all.

venuscat

I have seen her name at the bottom of the page.....yesterday for example in the Jan class thread....I am hoping she will come and talk to us....we love you Lixie. s

Hope you have a great day at work love, and enjoy seeing Parasite in B&W, and I still want to know what you had done to your hair....I am now imagining you with curly hair that you sometimes straighten and you had it 'blown out' (we say blowdried in Aus) before the dinner with your BF's parents (I think ). He he.

It is indeed very sad re the homeless situation there....I have a lot of thoughts.....maybe I will put them in a PM.

Hoping that your client can find a solution that isn't the shelters.....maybe he has a friend or relative that will let him stay for a short period of time? xxx s

(I think what you do in amazing love..... s )

soberbythesea

Thanks Suze I hope so too.

And yes, I did have my hair "blown out" as we say here! Something I used to do semi-regularly and haven't done in a while... need to be better about self care.

venuscat

Hi Briansy and tiles. s

I bet you don't look nearly as bad as you feel dear Briansy. s
And yes, you never have to feel this way again. xxxxxx

trudgingagain

Well...I am still here....I just couldn't do ANYTHING after the oncologist appt. yesterday, except cry and sleep. I DO love my oncologist, though. He is very calm and yet straightforward. Basically, he confirmed that the nodules in mmy left lung have grown to the point where they need to be biopsied. Surgery iss not an option anymore. I have biopsies scheduled for the 25th. On the 26th I will have another brain scan (with contrast) an I am still trying to schedule aa PET/CT scan of my brain and another from skull to thigh. If the biopsies come back as cancerous (which is probable), he is going to start me on chemo and immunotherapy (like Keytruda, optiva, etc.) to try to shrink the tumors. They can remove the rest of my right lung, but because of the nodules on the left one, it would really not do any good. He didn't really get into the brain conversation, as he wants to see the scans with contrast first. I am glad that he wants more test results, but the waiting is the hardest part. I am so glad to be on Medicare now, since when he ordered PET/CT scans before, my insurance company denied them. I am still waiting for results of a polyp that was sent in for testing, but a PET scan would show any colon cancer as well. Sooooo...bottom line....more tests (I am really glad that he is so conservative, yet the waiting is brutal), and I meet with him again on March 2nd to find out "the plan". I am sure that he will call me with result, once he gets them...he always does, so that helps. Today, my housekeeper comes, so I am going to "teach" hubby how to do the finances. I have a few things on my "bucket list" but I can't plan anything until I know "the plan". Thank you all for your thoughts, concern and prayers.

venuscat

I am wondering if you are allowed to pay for tests yourselves when the insurance co won't approve them? s

You are brave and strong and amazing and loved. s ❤️
And your oncologist sounds like a wonderful doctor and human. s
And I wish you luck today....remember to breath. My husband and I had a bit of a learning curve around doing the bills and such. s xxxxxx

Dee74

continuing to hope for a great outcome Trudging.

D

Briansy

Trudging, it sounds like there's lots to be getting on with - taking your mind off the bigger picture with the individual battles and wins is surely a good thing. I see Bull Dog posted about his Mom dying in another thread this morning and was just amazed by his presence of mind and perspective. Both of you are making this sobriety stuff seem very attractive indeed.

Day 4 here. A bit dazed and a bit down but slowly improving. I thought my last push, which was twice as far as I've made it into continuous sobriety, was quite committed and producing very clear to see results in my mental outlook, work output, physical appearance and overall self esteem - so am mad at myself for allowing myself to go there again. I'm glad I didn't get away with it though and that I got punished for that decision. I'm not sitting here looking for a magical fix, though - something to latch on to. I have all I need in my bank of sobriety know how to make it stick this time.

At work, struggling to get going. It's OK, I'm having a good year, I'm gonna allow myself a couple of days grace in not going full throttle. I did walk 15 kilometres yesterday and felt better for it. I've lost about a week's momentum on my fitness goals but not the end of the world.

Hope all are well!