JimiC

I'm so sorry Trudging, my thoughts are with you.

venuscat

Oh love, I am so devastated for you.
Here for you 100%.....with so much love. s ❤️❤️

soberbythesea

trudgingagain

I don't know what this means for me yet. I see the oncologist on Monday. so I should know more then. I think that this puts me at stage 4 (the worst case scenario), and so that means I could live for (maybe) 2 years, max. However, I have heard that many stage 4 patients have had some great treatments, and have lived longer than that. Needless to say, I remain depressed and devastated. Waiting through the weekend is brutal. My oncologist called last night and told me that my left lung nodules have also grown, so I will need to do biopsies on those as well.....I remember doing a biopsy the first time they found cancer in my right lung....not an experience that I would wish to experience again. Just trying to put one foot in front of the other. Biopsies, another brain scan (with contrast this time), and then a PET scan from brain to knees. I have to schedule all of these tests on Monday (after the oncologist). Today, I am just going to look up words in the radiologist report so that I can understand it. Other than that, I am just crying....I have so much on my "bucket list"...I need more time. I am not ready to go yet.

venuscat

Oh sweetheart s

I looked it up as well, and found the same information.
I can't even imagine what it is like to get hit with this.....is your husband able to be supportive yet, I would imagine he is in shock as well. s

Just here with you. Love you. ❤️❤️❤️

trudgingagain

Thanks Venus....yes, hubby is doing everything he can to provide support.....unfortunately, my sister decided to message all of our relatives on FB and everyone is going nuts.....I am just trying to keep to myself right now.....very depressed.

Dee74

you'll always find support here Trudging - lean on us
Still hoping the news is not as bad as you fear.

D

venuscat

Oh what a bad choice by your sister.
I get where she was coming from....shock and love.
You need calm and support and time to find your way in this.
And we are here big time.
More love honey. s ❤️❤️

Outonthetiles

That's eggs-zactly how I feel too. My family has no idea how bad I was with my drinking. You wonderful people and the people in the Feb 2016 class know far more about me than my own family.

Outonthetiles

Trudging, I am so sorry about your diagnosis.

Briansy

Well, I drank. And it was horrible. Ugh! Feel utterly wretched now.

venuscat

What happened love? Did the three days at home trip you up? s

I'm so sorry you feel awful but I am really glad you are here!!! s xx ❤️
Do you feel like talking? xx

And hello dear tiles. s ❤️

Briansy

I had a really heated exchange with a "friend" who I subsequently eviscerated while drunk. In a week of wobbles this pushed me over the edge. But I can say for sure it was not even close to worth it and the withdrawals right now are absolutely horrific. This feeling of being in a weakened state is just the worst. The drinking itself was not fun either - the days of getting a good buzz going are long gone. Now for a week of pain before my head returns to normality.

venuscat

I'm sorry that happened. s ❤️

Briansy

What I have found with my attempts at sobriety is that having a clear conscience makes a huge difference in my ability to stay quit. And dumping toxic people. I've dumped a few of them in recent times but there are more to be cleared out. What happened Friday was a good example of how damaging it can be to interact with toxic people. People that pit me under pressure and make me feel bad about myself. Yes, I'm a bit more sensitive than most but sneary humour and **** takes don't work at all for me. People call it "banter" but the line between banter and bullying can be thin.

trudgingagain

So sorry, Briansy....."get back on the horse"....you can do this! You might have worse withdrawal symptoms, but you know that they will pass.....I have heard it said, "remember your last drunk".....I don't know if that helps or not. I never did, cuz I was usually in a black out. We are all still here for you!

Briansy

Yes, remembering my last drunk has served me well over the last 80 days. I just need to continue to keep my nose clean in all aspects of my life and be true to myself. I noticed my self esteem rising lately probably as I was doing esteemable things. If I keep going on that direction I will get this thing licked. Thanks for your support, Trudging, it's humbling. Keep your head up.

trudgingagain

As they say, "just keep your side of the street clean". Others, who are not alcoholics, may not get this, but we do. Hang in there Briansy!

venuscat

Awesome conversation. s

Outonthetiles

How are you today, trudging? I am thinking about you and wish you the best.