Class of January 2020 PART 3
Member
Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: Michigan
Posts: 171
Good morning to everyone.
Sobermafia, you are definitely welcome anytime no matter how often that is. Heck, here I am trying to catch back up again this morning. That also goes for anyone who has slipped back off the wagon. If you are reading and thinking about rejoining the fray, please do.
Congrats on 40 days Willow (and Sobermafia as well today). Jr and Sober45 are right on your heals too. Folks are starting to put some strong sober days together. Excellent.
I found the discussion on anxiety very interesting. I will have to check that book out JR. My somewhat related approach has been to just be mindful of how I am feeling and recognize when the stress and anxiety are building up. Knowing that a relapse often begins well before that first drink somethings, I figured this might be a good approach to defuse that process. So far. So good.
Enjoying the fish stories as well. That is one activity I let slip as I started drinking more and more. I hope to start that up again, but it will have to wait until spring. Not enough ice for ice fishing this winter.
Have a great day.
Sobermafia, you are definitely welcome anytime no matter how often that is. Heck, here I am trying to catch back up again this morning. That also goes for anyone who has slipped back off the wagon. If you are reading and thinking about rejoining the fray, please do.
Congrats on 40 days Willow (and Sobermafia as well today). Jr and Sober45 are right on your heals too. Folks are starting to put some strong sober days together. Excellent.
I found the discussion on anxiety very interesting. I will have to check that book out JR. My somewhat related approach has been to just be mindful of how I am feeling and recognize when the stress and anxiety are building up. Knowing that a relapse often begins well before that first drink somethings, I figured this might be a good approach to defuse that process. So far. So good.
Enjoying the fish stories as well. That is one activity I let slip as I started drinking more and more. I hope to start that up again, but it will have to wait until spring. Not enough ice for ice fishing this winter.
Have a great day.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: NC
Posts: 5,161
Originally Posted by venuscat 
Speaking of fish 
I adore tuna, couldn't live without it.
Just saying....for absolutely no reason.
I adore tuna, couldn't live without it.
Just saying....for absolutely no reason.
Pro tip:
Assuming you are talking tuna in the can like starkist and such and have never done this,
tuna cakes! Yum!
If you've ever made a crab cake follow that recipe.
If you haven't it's just a mixture of tuna drained dry as you can get it, egg and breading.
Mix up real good, make into patty and fry, bake or broil until it has a nice crispy skin.
Eat as is or on bread with favorite condiments.
Enjoy!
s
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 50
Originally Posted by Willow68
Sobermafia, well done on not stopping for that bottle of wine. I’ve had similar temptations, usually after a stressful day at work. You’re right though, it would only make things worse. Don’t worry about not responding to all posts, I think it’s nearly impossible to keep up sometimes, especially if posting in multiple threads.
I don’t always respond to everything. I actually often forget what people have written by the time I’ve got to writing, especially if there are lots of posts since I last checked in, but I always read them all.
Great posts jr and Buttermarsh about sitting with your anxiety (and other feelings).
I think I’ll look for “Calming your anxious mind”.
Actually I really do appreciate every single post, from each and every one of you
I’m just finishing up day 40
And that’s a really gorgeous picture Daisybelle7 ❤️
I don’t always respond to everything. I actually often forget what people have written by the time I’ve got to writing, especially if there are lots of posts since I last checked in, but I always read them all.
Great posts jr and Buttermarsh about sitting with your anxiety (and other feelings).
I think I’ll look for “Calming your anxious mind”.
Actually I really do appreciate every single post, from each and every one of you
I’m just finishing up day 40
And that’s a really gorgeous picture Daisybelle7 ❤️
Congrats on day 40 Willow68 and everyone else! I'm on day 40 too.
For anyone who is wanting to try meditation, I did a free trial of the Calm App on my phone for a while and I have also used the app called Insight Timer. There are also a bunch of great YouTube videos out there for meditation or subliminal messaging. Thomas Hall (Minds in Unison and 30 Minute Mindset are two of my favorite channels for subliminal messaging, and there's a million or so about meditation and anxiety on Youtube.
Anxiety is something I have struggled with as well. One thing that really helped me with my anxiety was seeing a therapist who was licensed in EMDR. (Google it!) After years of being on medications, and struggling with anxiety, the EMDR really helped me. It helped me deal with a lot of the little traumas over my life that were trapped in my brain and making me anxious. Since doing EMDR for about a year and a half, my anxiety has been quite manageable.
The only anxiety I have been dealing with as of late has been the healthy anxiety related to quitting drinking. So that's self-induced anxiety that I am trying to push though. Well actually, I'm pushing though and avoiding the doctors a bit longer if I am completely honest, but I will get there soon, I promise. Just giving my body a bit more time to heal, and crazy busy at work and helping mom out.
And I agree for anyone who is reading this thread and struggles with should I post or whether or not you are welcome here, you are. You are welcome here no matter what you are struggling with.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,425
I've always loved salmon patties but you don't see them much anymore. When I was a kid we had them all the time. We do have salmon on the grill a lot.
When I was getting a lot of grouper I would cook a grouper fillet on the grill until it would flake apart and my wife would make fish cakes with it. Definitely one of my favorite ways to have fish.
When I was getting a lot of grouper I would cook a grouper fillet on the grill until it would flake apart and my wife would make fish cakes with it. Definitely one of my favorite ways to have fish.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 414
Hi everyone. I hope you are all doing well. I haven't read the newest posts yet but I'm in bed and wanted to post before I doze off.
Earlier today I was ruminating sadly at some unsavoury things I did just in my recent past, even after I'd started on this journey. I was beating myself up, especially over the fact that I was sober when I did these things and shouldn't I be getting better, etc...
Then this thought popped into my head:
I am not that person, that Buttermarsh, from my past; not even my recent past. I wouldn't do now what she did last week. I am sick but she was sicker. I'm slowly but surely progressing toward healing so I'm constantly changing for the better. I am not that person: I feel sorry for her; I empathise; I'd like to give her a hug. She was doing her best, working with what she knew and using the resources available to her then... I know better and I do better. I have better resources. I have no excuses to do any less because I AM NOT HER. Not anymore.
Lord knows I am not where I need to be but thank God I am not where I used to be.
Joyce Meyer.
I'm going to try and catch up on the thread now, and maybe post a bedtime gratitude line or two. I'm super grateful for you all.
Good night.
Earlier today I was ruminating sadly at some unsavoury things I did just in my recent past, even after I'd started on this journey. I was beating myself up, especially over the fact that I was sober when I did these things and shouldn't I be getting better, etc...
Then this thought popped into my head:
I am not that person, that Buttermarsh, from my past; not even my recent past. I wouldn't do now what she did last week. I am sick but she was sicker. I'm slowly but surely progressing toward healing so I'm constantly changing for the better. I am not that person: I feel sorry for her; I empathise; I'd like to give her a hug. She was doing her best, working with what she knew and using the resources available to her then... I know better and I do better. I have better resources. I have no excuses to do any less because I AM NOT HER. Not anymore.
Lord knows I am not where I need to be but thank God I am not where I used to be.
Joyce Meyer.
I'm going to try and catch up on the thread now, and maybe post a bedtime gratitude line or two. I'm super grateful for you all.
Good night.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 546
Good morning/afternoon/evening/night class.
One of the dear doggies rousted me a little while ago, 3:15 a.m., so here I am, early start to the day, I'll take a nap l8r. It's time to play that download of Monday Monday that came to mind on the Weekender thread yesterday. Thanks for the visual download there, venuscat.
Re fishkiller and the tuna: I'm gonna try the tunafish patties, would you say 1 egg for a standard-sized can of tuna, and, say, enough bread crumbs to absorb the egg and bind the tuna, not too much or the mixture won't hold together?
I'll try it, but the first thing that came to mind when I saw references to tuna, I thought of the fresh variety. We go down to our local fish market and pick up tuna steaks often, usually during outdoor grilling season (about 6 or 7 months out of the year for us, but we stretch it by using the George Foreman grill on our covered porch outside out kitchen window sometimes during the rest of the year (or rainy summer days). (You can use the George indoors, and we do, but for fish, especially more fishy fish like bluefish, but tuna too, we prefer to cook outside so the kitchen doesn't olfactorily remind us of Saturday's fish fry on Tuesday). Our fish-store guy heads down to the wholesale fish market on Fisherman's Wharf in Boston two or three times a week, at what I used to think of as some ungodly hour like right now-ish, 4:30 a.m. (I've been napping), then brings it back to stock his store here in one of the close-in suburbs a few miles inland from Boston Harbor.
Anyways yums on the tuna, cooked this way or that. At our very local 5-minute-walk-from-home restaurant I had the yellow fin tuna dinner a couple of weeks ago, to die for. Sushi-grade tuna lightly blackened on the outside and barely warm in the center, delicately spiced rub and tender as can be, served sliced in a basket with avocado, daikon, some sticky rice, ... let's just say double-yums.
On Long Island (New York) where I grew up, I went fishing for blues with my father a few times before I moved away for college. There are these charter boats that go out into the Atlantic, or there are a few spots you can try off a dock if you're not that hungry (you won't catch much from the dock and the small bluefish you might snag are probably not gonna be worth keeping but it's a pastime). I never did the charter boats, though my father did. I later figured out that he probably didn't want to expose me, in my then tender years, under the drinking age, to the excessive beer consumption that I also later figured out goes pretty hand-in-hand with a lot of those charter outings.
Then back home, clean the fish (some of the charters include cleaning service), and Dad grilled them on the barbie (as our awesome Aussie SobeRlandians call the grill). That was about the only cooking Dad ever did, except for the occasional Saturday lunch of hot dogs grilled in the buttered pan in the kitchen if Mom was out for the day, with a side of brown beans and maybe sauerkraut.
If Dad (jr67 sr or Will Kane, Sr. if jr decides to become Will Kane here in SobeRlandia) ever had two beers with lunch I (jr/Will Kane) never saw it. Just goes to show you that this apple (jr67) *did* fall far from the tree in that regard. In general, though, jr didn't usually have a first drink till after 5 p.m. (maybe 4 p.m. on a weekend), cuz jr is/was not a "problem drinker" from (most) outward appearances.
We also get swordfish steaks from the fish store, and salmon (farm-raised or wild-caught), sea scallops, or white fish such as cod, flounder, or occasionally halibut ($$$).
Semi-dozing here (that's a good thing), now ... where was I.
ButterMarsh, I'm with you on some of those self-observations you've recounted in the past couple of days, might be interesting to follow up on some of the threads in our nascent PM conversation, but here in the SobeRland Village Square is cool, too.
I posted a few weeks ago about the song with the refrain, "Now you're just somebody that I used to know," and I was thinking at the time of my pre-sobriety jr as the "somebody." Let me go find it.
Ok, here it is (this time the "official version"; with very cool visuals on the video:
https://youtu.be/8UVNT4wvIGY
So ButterMarsh, your post about not being that (drinking) person who you used to be reminded me of that song about a break-up, and I found (find) the attitude helpful:
That overdrinking jr guy was just somebody that I used to know. (Though of course the parallels are not perfect. For a substance abuser, it generally takes more to make a clean break from the love affair with (you name it, beer, wine, spirits, coke, crack, meth, ice (snorting, smoking, slamming), H, addies) and with the one's own addictive past, than simply sending friends over to collect your records from your ex's apartment, and changing your number. The sober one still shares the body and brain of the abusing doppelganger. But still, a catchy tune, biting lyrics, and a few good versions on line. Check it our, gentle readers.
Sobermafia, I use the Insight Timer site, originally I used it just for the timer, but the various chat groups on the site can be helpful or inspiring, and have been so for jr. In addition to the chat groups, there are many hundreds of links on Insight Timer to guided meditations of every style, which jr sometimes listens to, though for me, personally, the gold standard of meditation is just three of us (me, myself, and I), and the breath, in and out.
Breathe in, notice the breath. Breathe out, notice the breath.
Thoughts come; notice them, there is no need to judge them, no need to idolize them, no need to fear them. Let them come, let them go.
And then we return, always, to the breath.
(Come to think of it Willow and Wolfie, maybe I should look up Dr. Brantley about the (lack of) referral-commission situation, after all, lol. Happy reading.)
Ok now,
Monday, Monday / Can't trust that day ...
Thanks mamas, thanks papas, but jr's gotta go take on Monday if he's ever going to move along to Ruby Tuesday; or wednesday morning, 3 a.m.; or the rest.
Happy Yesterday Plus 1 to all, and to Sober45 and jr (who am I missing?), make today a nice round 4 and an 0.
One of the dear doggies rousted me a little while ago, 3:15 a.m., so here I am, early start to the day, I'll take a nap l8r. It's time to play that download of Monday Monday that came to mind on the Weekender thread yesterday. Thanks for the visual download there, venuscat.
Re fishkiller and the tuna: I'm gonna try the tunafish patties, would you say 1 egg for a standard-sized can of tuna, and, say, enough bread crumbs to absorb the egg and bind the tuna, not too much or the mixture won't hold together?
I'll try it, but the first thing that came to mind when I saw references to tuna, I thought of the fresh variety. We go down to our local fish market and pick up tuna steaks often, usually during outdoor grilling season (about 6 or 7 months out of the year for us, but we stretch it by using the George Foreman grill on our covered porch outside out kitchen window sometimes during the rest of the year (or rainy summer days). (You can use the George indoors, and we do, but for fish, especially more fishy fish like bluefish, but tuna too, we prefer to cook outside so the kitchen doesn't olfactorily remind us of Saturday's fish fry on Tuesday). Our fish-store guy heads down to the wholesale fish market on Fisherman's Wharf in Boston two or three times a week, at what I used to think of as some ungodly hour like right now-ish, 4:30 a.m. (I've been napping), then brings it back to stock his store here in one of the close-in suburbs a few miles inland from Boston Harbor.
Anyways yums on the tuna, cooked this way or that. At our very local 5-minute-walk-from-home restaurant I had the yellow fin tuna dinner a couple of weeks ago, to die for. Sushi-grade tuna lightly blackened on the outside and barely warm in the center, delicately spiced rub and tender as can be, served sliced in a basket with avocado, daikon, some sticky rice, ... let's just say double-yums.
On Long Island (New York) where I grew up, I went fishing for blues with my father a few times before I moved away for college. There are these charter boats that go out into the Atlantic, or there are a few spots you can try off a dock if you're not that hungry (you won't catch much from the dock and the small bluefish you might snag are probably not gonna be worth keeping but it's a pastime). I never did the charter boats, though my father did. I later figured out that he probably didn't want to expose me, in my then tender years, under the drinking age, to the excessive beer consumption that I also later figured out goes pretty hand-in-hand with a lot of those charter outings.
Then back home, clean the fish (some of the charters include cleaning service), and Dad grilled them on the barbie (as our awesome Aussie SobeRlandians call the grill). That was about the only cooking Dad ever did, except for the occasional Saturday lunch of hot dogs grilled in the buttered pan in the kitchen if Mom was out for the day, with a side of brown beans and maybe sauerkraut.
If Dad (jr67 sr or Will Kane, Sr. if jr decides to become Will Kane here in SobeRlandia) ever had two beers with lunch I (jr/Will Kane) never saw it. Just goes to show you that this apple (jr67) *did* fall far from the tree in that regard. In general, though, jr didn't usually have a first drink till after 5 p.m. (maybe 4 p.m. on a weekend), cuz jr is/was not a "problem drinker" from (most) outward appearances.
We also get swordfish steaks from the fish store, and salmon (farm-raised or wild-caught), sea scallops, or white fish such as cod, flounder, or occasionally halibut ($$$).
Semi-dozing here (that's a good thing), now ... where was I.
ButterMarsh, I'm with you on some of those self-observations you've recounted in the past couple of days, might be interesting to follow up on some of the threads in our nascent PM conversation, but here in the SobeRland Village Square is cool, too.
I posted a few weeks ago about the song with the refrain, "Now you're just somebody that I used to know," and I was thinking at the time of my pre-sobriety jr as the "somebody." Let me go find it.
Ok, here it is (this time the "official version"; with very cool visuals on the video:
https://youtu.be/8UVNT4wvIGY
So ButterMarsh, your post about not being that (drinking) person who you used to be reminded me of that song about a break-up, and I found (find) the attitude helpful:
That overdrinking jr guy was just somebody that I used to know. (Though of course the parallels are not perfect. For a substance abuser, it generally takes more to make a clean break from the love affair with (you name it, beer, wine, spirits, coke, crack, meth, ice (snorting, smoking, slamming), H, addies) and with the one's own addictive past, than simply sending friends over to collect your records from your ex's apartment, and changing your number. The sober one still shares the body and brain of the abusing doppelganger. But still, a catchy tune, biting lyrics, and a few good versions on line. Check it our, gentle readers.
Sobermafia, I use the Insight Timer site, originally I used it just for the timer, but the various chat groups on the site can be helpful or inspiring, and have been so for jr. In addition to the chat groups, there are many hundreds of links on Insight Timer to guided meditations of every style, which jr sometimes listens to, though for me, personally, the gold standard of meditation is just three of us (me, myself, and I), and the breath, in and out.
Breathe in, notice the breath. Breathe out, notice the breath.
Thoughts come; notice them, there is no need to judge them, no need to idolize them, no need to fear them. Let them come, let them go.
And then we return, always, to the breath.
(Come to think of it Willow and Wolfie, maybe I should look up Dr. Brantley about the (lack of) referral-commission situation, after all, lol. Happy reading.)
Ok now,
Monday, Monday / Can't trust that day ...
Thanks mamas, thanks papas, but jr's gotta go take on Monday if he's ever going to move along to Ruby Tuesday; or wednesday morning, 3 a.m.; or the rest.
Happy Yesterday Plus 1 to all, and to Sober45 and jr (who am I missing?), make today a nice round 4 and an 0.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 941
Hi Willow and Sobermafia.
I am Jan 1st also so I guess we are sober triplets...
BM, that is a lovely way to see yourself now. You aren't who you were. Hopefully we all have a lot more exciting changes ahead, as the lives around us begin to change too.
I got through the weekend. Thankful about that. I hope everybody else did well too.
If you didn't, like MrWolfie and Willow perfectly said, or screwed up, you are still welcome to post. We are all helping each other. What we are doing is really challenging.
db7, that is a wonderful pic. I bet it was cold !!!!!
Have a fun, sober and productive week all.
dlb
I am Jan 1st also so I guess we are sober triplets...
BM, that is a lovely way to see yourself now. You aren't who you were. Hopefully we all have a lot more exciting changes ahead, as the lives around us begin to change too.
I got through the weekend. Thankful about that. I hope everybody else did well too.
If you didn't, like MrWolfie and Willow perfectly said, or screwed up, you are still welcome to post. We are all helping each other. What we are doing is really challenging.
db7, that is a wonderful pic. I bet it was cold !!!!!
Have a fun, sober and productive week all.
dlb
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Colorado
Posts: 702
Congratulations sobermafia and dlb! jr, are you at 40, too? If so, way to go! I think I congratulated Willow already, but if not... another congratulations! You all are an inspiration to me!
ButterMarsh, I love the way you think! It’s not easy to turn our minds around like that. Very insightful! I also like Joyce Meyer. I’ve found a lot of inspiration in how she sees the world.
Day 30 for me! I get to take my 30 day chip out of the bag today. Feeling so much better than I did just 29 days ago.
My foot surgery is tomorrow morning, so if I am on here later in the day tomorrow, and I seem a bit loopy, it’s probably the anesthesia wearing off.
ButterMarsh, I love the way you think! It’s not easy to turn our minds around like that. Very insightful! I also like Joyce Meyer. I’ve found a lot of inspiration in how she sees the world.
Day 30 for me! I get to take my 30 day chip out of the bag today. Feeling so much better than I did just 29 days ago.
My foot surgery is tomorrow morning, so if I am on here later in the day tomorrow, and I seem a bit loopy, it’s probably the anesthesia wearing off.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: Michigan
Posts: 171
Good morning all. Back for more as I work through Day 35...so finishing up 5 weeks this evening.
I forgot to mention yesterday that it was good to see all your tests come back in good shape Cynix. Hope that trapped nerve is just a result of the anxiety and muscle tension from being newly sober and will ease up soon. As someone who has dealt with such issues (am right now in fact), I am always amazed at how much of the symptoms can be caused by muscle spasms as compared to the relatively minor nerve irritation that instigates that overreaction by the muscles.
Congrats to the sober triplets as you work through the end of week 6...and to DB and CB on that 30 day chip...and to everyone else tacking on the sober days. This has been a very inspirational class and has made this process much easier for me. Thanks.
I forgot to mention yesterday that it was good to see all your tests come back in good shape Cynix. Hope that trapped nerve is just a result of the anxiety and muscle tension from being newly sober and will ease up soon. As someone who has dealt with such issues (am right now in fact), I am always amazed at how much of the symptoms can be caused by muscle spasms as compared to the relatively minor nerve irritation that instigates that overreaction by the muscles.
Congrats to the sober triplets as you work through the end of week 6...and to DB and CB on that 30 day chip...and to everyone else tacking on the sober days. This has been a very inspirational class and has made this process much easier for me. Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,100
Good Morning all, 40 days today!
What a frumpy weekend I had. The first 20-30 days of sobriety I was on fire...hammering down the to do list like a beast.
Lately though, I'm feeling blah. I have moments of inspiration but other than that just really pushing myself to get as much done as I can.
It seems the sober me hates chores just as much as the drunk me did...lol. But the sober me is getting a lot more done.
I think I was on a "sober high" there for a while with all the newness. The honeymoon phase is over now I guess. The pink cloud is moving on.
I'm at the point now, where previously, I would start to drink. I'm at the "what's the point if I can't relax with a drink" moment.
But I'm not and I won't because I KNOW this will pass.
And sleep...I seem to have the opposite of most people. Friday night I slept 11 hours straight. I went to bed at around 11 last night and had to seriously pry myself from the sheets at 730am this morning.
And eating...oh my. Becoming sober is definitely a step in peeling back the onion layers. I'm reminded of how obsessed i was with food and my weight growing up. It all subsided when I got into the booze but now that I'm sober it's popping up again. But I'm older now and I have some pretty good cooking skills which will be a huge help. I just need to take time to prepare stuff as opposed to the grab&go treats!
Hope everyone is having a good day!
What a frumpy weekend I had. The first 20-30 days of sobriety I was on fire...hammering down the to do list like a beast.
Lately though, I'm feeling blah. I have moments of inspiration but other than that just really pushing myself to get as much done as I can.
It seems the sober me hates chores just as much as the drunk me did...lol. But the sober me is getting a lot more done.
I think I was on a "sober high" there for a while with all the newness. The honeymoon phase is over now I guess. The pink cloud is moving on.
I'm at the point now, where previously, I would start to drink. I'm at the "what's the point if I can't relax with a drink" moment.
But I'm not and I won't because I KNOW this will pass.
And sleep...I seem to have the opposite of most people. Friday night I slept 11 hours straight. I went to bed at around 11 last night and had to seriously pry myself from the sheets at 730am this morning.
And eating...oh my. Becoming sober is definitely a step in peeling back the onion layers. I'm reminded of how obsessed i was with food and my weight growing up. It all subsided when I got into the booze but now that I'm sober it's popping up again. But I'm older now and I have some pretty good cooking skills which will be a huge help. I just need to take time to prepare stuff as opposed to the grab&go treats!
Hope everyone is having a good day!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
