One Year & Over Part 72
s xx
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,645
Thx Toots. Firm boundaries make a lot of sense. The investment is worth the extra initial effort. (Perhaps my new mantra for the next year to keep me even during the tantrums will be something on the lines of that...)
My realization: Yesterday was hard b/c I wasn't prepared for it (a lesson I keep learning). Going forward I'm setting aside the time, energy, and focus to make the most of the "learning moments" (perspective reframe) - and to check in to take care of myself so I don't overextend myself. I didn't get a chance to eat or drink anything from 5am - almost 4pm. I'm not helping either of us when I'm running on zero. duh!
It's keeping me on my toes for sure!
Mags - Hope the shots helps a lot.
RE: timezones. Being on the west coast of the US, I'm probably always late to the convo
. I think there was a Saturday Night Live skit about being perpetually late with replying to the convos about 10 years ago...
Glad you are back in the UK time again
Ha Ha.
My realization: Yesterday was hard b/c I wasn't prepared for it (a lesson I keep learning). Going forward I'm setting aside the time, energy, and focus to make the most of the "learning moments" (perspective reframe) - and to check in to take care of myself so I don't overextend myself. I didn't get a chance to eat or drink anything from 5am - almost 4pm. I'm not helping either of us when I'm running on zero. duh!
It's keeping me on my toes for sure!
Mags - Hope the shots helps a lot.
RE: timezones. Being on the west coast of the US, I'm probably always late to the convo
. I think there was a Saturday Night Live skit about being perpetually late with replying to the convos about 10 years ago... Glad you are back in the UK time again
Ha Ha.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 363
Having some negative thoughts lately. I feel left out in the friends category, mainly because I'm not drinking, therefore not really in the loop with social hangouts. Also when random drinking thoughts come up (mainly situational stress) I seem to be relishing the thought too long. I don't like that.
But I feel a bit lost. Partly because I seem to hangout alone too much right now as this seems to keep me safe.
We started planning a vacation this spring which involves several other families and in the past it's always a drinking week. So I feel saddened that my first thought is not going.
I feel nervous that I'm having to remind myself that drinking is not good for me.
But I feel a bit lost. Partly because I seem to hangout alone too much right now as this seems to keep me safe.
We started planning a vacation this spring which involves several other families and in the past it's always a drinking week. So I feel saddened that my first thought is not going.
I feel nervous that I'm having to remind myself that drinking is not good for me.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,588
The first couple of years were finding my way too JJL.
It was maybe a little easier for me in that my friends were wither normal drinkers or alcoholics - the alcoholics faded away pretty quickly.
A group family holiday could be a great experience for you learning to have fun without alcohol.
There's always things to do on a vacation that aren't drink related and I'm guessing that there;; be some other adults not imbibing to excess - as well as all the children.
Obviously don't go if you feel vulnerable or tempted or you know you'll be miserable- but I had to make a better sober life than staring mournfully out the window watching other people have fun...y'know?
D
It was maybe a little easier for me in that my friends were wither normal drinkers or alcoholics - the alcoholics faded away pretty quickly.
A group family holiday could be a great experience for you learning to have fun without alcohol.
There's always things to do on a vacation that aren't drink related and I'm guessing that there;; be some other adults not imbibing to excess - as well as all the children.
Obviously don't go if you feel vulnerable or tempted or you know you'll be miserable- but I had to make a better sober life than staring mournfully out the window watching other people have fun...y'know?
D
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,769
Morning Overs
JimmyJ, it can seem that everyone you know drinks but you, so a bit of ‘billy no mates’ and ‘fomo’ syndrome. Though there is so much to do that doesn’t involve alcohol. ...Adjusting does take time though and being aware of your triggers.
A holiday will be great. Give you an opportunity to enjoy it without the booze. I loved my first holiday sober. Up every morning, hangover free. It was a new and exhilarating experience.
Have a good Sunday my friends xxxx
JimmyJ, it can seem that everyone you know drinks but you, so a bit of ‘billy no mates’ and ‘fomo’ syndrome. Though there is so much to do that doesn’t involve alcohol. ...Adjusting does take time though and being aware of your triggers.
A holiday will be great. Give you an opportunity to enjoy it without the booze. I loved my first holiday sober. Up every morning, hangover free. It was a new and exhilarating experience.
Have a good Sunday my friends xxxx
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,178
JJ, I agree with Dee, the initial couple of years for me were about finding my sober feet, finding different things to do that I could enjoy sober. For me it's golf, writing, walking and running. Not easy when I do them all at once! seriously, I still tend to isolate but I feel now it's more my personality than a fear of drinking. At the moment, we have open bottles of booze all over the house due to the Christmas period. Today I will get hubby to move most of them back away, but seriously, if I was to be tempted at all, I'm in more danger in the house than outside just now!
I have been on lots of holidays since quitting drinking, and I have found I have made more young (children) friends as I can enjoy their fun and games safely and they enjoy having an adult pay attention to them. I also notice that people don't pay my attention to what I'm drinking - unless they have a drink problem, in which case they want everyone to drink to make them feel better about their overindulgence - .
Mags good to have you back in the U.K.,
Andy, you really should join us sometime!
seriously, I still tend to isolate but I feel now it's more my personality than a fear of drinking. At the moment, we have open bottles of booze all over the house due to the Christmas period. Today I will get hubby to move most of them back away, but seriously, if I was to be tempted at all, I'm in more danger in the house than outside just now! I have been on lots of holidays since quitting drinking, and I have found I have made more young (children) friends as I can enjoy their fun and games safely and they enjoy having an adult pay attention to them. I also notice that people don't pay my attention to what I'm drinking - unless they have a drink problem, in which case they want everyone to drink to make them feel better about their overindulgence - .
Mags good to have you back in the U.K.,
Andy, you really should join us sometime!
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Happy belated FBL,
My sober Birthday has about the same gravity as my natal one. But later this year it will be ten years sober for me. That is amazing and anticlimactic at the same time. I hope your co-worker recovers quickly.
Mags,
I too hope you get some relief from the allergy shots. My DIL pushed me to get hearing aids, and I was shocked at how loud I was cranking my TV once I got them and put them on.
Toots,
I too agree that my first years were all about getting over my PAWS, then dealing with my new found freedom to drive at night and not being paranoid when cops come flying past me with lights flashing. I was endlessly amused by my conditioned responses long after they were obsolete. You sense of humor shines here and likely helped you not take yourself too seriously when things changed to sobriety.
IP glad you are doing well too.
Dee,
Is your air smoke filled now? My heart goes out to you guys in Oz lately. Same as for our fires and Brazil's fires in the Amazon. Climate change progresses regardless of deniers. The fires don't help and can become an unbreakable cycle. I hope all are well and continue so.
Sassy,
I'm glad you were only out of water for a short time.
Guys it's late. We had the carpet installers here all day and now the last of the old interior is gone and the house is so squared away and clean looking. We are getting rid of my old desk and other office furniture, and beginning the decorating and furnishing to our standards. Monday they deliver the new dishwasher and Wednesday the third delivery of our gas five burner convection range. The first two were crushed. Hope third time's a charm. The old electric range works fine just not our preferred cooking technique. Also, at this elevation, everything takes longer to cook. They already delivered the refrigerator and over range convection microwave. It's a great time to be alive with the world in our phones and tablets that are full Windows computers but as small as the ten inches diagonally. My new Surface Pro and Surface Go are great. And my hearing aids are Bluetooth with an app that controls volume, eqs the sound, adjusts environmental presets, and can play music from my phone or computers via Bluetooth. Love our tech toys.
If I missed ya sorry, am falling asleep at the keyboard!
My sober Birthday has about the same gravity as my natal one. But later this year it will be ten years sober for me. That is amazing and anticlimactic at the same time. I hope your co-worker recovers quickly.
Mags,
I too hope you get some relief from the allergy shots. My DIL pushed me to get hearing aids, and I was shocked at how loud I was cranking my TV once I got them and put them on.
Toots,
I too agree that my first years were all about getting over my PAWS, then dealing with my new found freedom to drive at night and not being paranoid when cops come flying past me with lights flashing. I was endlessly amused by my conditioned responses long after they were obsolete. You sense of humor shines here and likely helped you not take yourself too seriously when things changed to sobriety.
IP glad you are doing well too.
Dee,
Is your air smoke filled now? My heart goes out to you guys in Oz lately. Same as for our fires and Brazil's fires in the Amazon. Climate change progresses regardless of deniers. The fires don't help and can become an unbreakable cycle. I hope all are well and continue so.
Sassy,
I'm glad you were only out of water for a short time.
Guys it's late. We had the carpet installers here all day and now the last of the old interior is gone and the house is so squared away and clean looking. We are getting rid of my old desk and other office furniture, and beginning the decorating and furnishing to our standards. Monday they deliver the new dishwasher and Wednesday the third delivery of our gas five burner convection range. The first two were crushed. Hope third time's a charm. The old electric range works fine just not our preferred cooking technique. Also, at this elevation, everything takes longer to cook. They already delivered the refrigerator and over range convection microwave. It's a great time to be alive with the world in our phones and tablets that are full Windows computers but as small as the ten inches diagonally. My new Surface Pro and Surface Go are great. And my hearing aids are Bluetooth with an app that controls volume, eqs the sound, adjusts environmental presets, and can play music from my phone or computers via Bluetooth. Love our tech toys.
If I missed ya sorry, am falling asleep at the keyboard!
non-drinker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,860
Hang in there, Jimmy. Things will get easier for you. The most important thing is not to give in to the temptation to pick up. It will only be harder in the long run. In my experience, connection is the key. Stick close to SR for the time being. Someday, you will find your tribe!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: US
Posts: 16,992
Wow, ten years this year Itchy ~ incredible!
Hope you're doing better today JJ
Yesterday I attended an online meeting on the Smart Recovery site....it had been a while, but I recognized one of the girls from previous meetings, only now she is the facilitator! So cool....they have the video/voice option but I've never even used the microphone....I stick with chat
Time for more coffee
Hope you're doing better today JJ
Yesterday I attended an online meeting on the Smart Recovery site....it had been a while, but I recognized one of the girls from previous meetings, only now she is the facilitator! So cool....they have the video/voice option but I've never even used the microphone....I stick with chat
Time for more coffee
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,289
JimmyJ, it took me a good while to get comfortable with being sober even though I always enjoyed how much better I feel. Two of my go tos are 1) my long gratitude list and 2) running through in my mind what would happen if I drank again. I’m not one of those (rare, I think) people who stop drinking and never think of it again. In the Old Folks Home where I live now (5 years this month) there is a good deal of drinking. Unless I become a hermit, I can’t avoid it. So I need to remain mindful about my thoughts and feelings and avoid drinking situations on the now rare occasions when they really bother me. I don’t think I can ever take my sobriety for granted.
Thinking of all of our Aussie friends and hoping they are staying safe with those horrendous fires!
Have a good day to all
Thinking of all of our Aussie friends and hoping they are staying safe with those horrendous fires!
Have a good day to all
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 2,707
Hi JJ, I remember this time, it really sucks. I stayed home a LOT for the first couple of years. I still don't socialize the way I used to, I'm an introvert at the best of times.
I agree with the others, give the holiday a try, and ENJOY how awesome it is to be sober, not hungover, not sick, not making an ass of yourself. The first vacation I did sober was amazing, when I got through it and realized I had a good time and could actually remember the whole thing. Plus actually doing things and not just getting drunk the whole time....it's a much more fulfilling experience! Find other things to do to enjoy while the others are drinking their faces off. It's empowering. Read books, go for a walk, whatever. Give yourself permission to do whatever YOU want to do. (Not sure if you have kids.....maybe not completely possible but you get the idea. Make time for you.)
Enjoying a lazy Sunday, last one before school starts, and I've got another couple things on the go. Will be another busy term.
Oh, I'm thinking of un-insuring my car and just taking transit and riding my bike. Too expensive.
I want to start a new sport, outdoors, challenging. Thoughts?
XO IP
I agree with the others, give the holiday a try, and ENJOY how awesome it is to be sober, not hungover, not sick, not making an ass of yourself. The first vacation I did sober was amazing, when I got through it and realized I had a good time and could actually remember the whole thing. Plus actually doing things and not just getting drunk the whole time....it's a much more fulfilling experience! Find other things to do to enjoy while the others are drinking their faces off. It's empowering. Read books, go for a walk, whatever. Give yourself permission to do whatever YOU want to do. (Not sure if you have kids.....maybe not completely possible but you get the idea. Make time for you.)
Enjoying a lazy Sunday, last one before school starts, and I've got another couple things on the go. Will be another busy term.
Oh, I'm thinking of un-insuring my car and just taking transit and riding my bike. Too expensive.
I want to start a new sport, outdoors, challenging. Thoughts?
XO IP
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,046
I've always loved the idea of surfing ? Or I think there are triathlon's you can do and stuff Inpar that's where I was heading until injury set me back or 5k runs 10k 15k depends on how comfortable you want the challenge but I'm in full support
Itch Watchmen got watched yesterday in its entirety and was pretty good some excellent actors storylines etc think this is a 1 and done it was half done by one of the guys from lost and you know I'm oceanic all day .. I remember when I had an oceanic signature artwork and D was like hey Sobes what is oceanic lol that's when I knew I was truly a lostie lol
Bit freezing this morning
Itch Watchmen got watched yesterday in its entirety and was pretty good some excellent actors storylines etc think this is a 1 and done it was half done by one of the guys from lost and you know I'm oceanic all day .. I remember when I had an oceanic signature artwork and D was like hey Sobes what is oceanic lol that's when I knew I was truly a lostie lol
Bit freezing this morning
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,769
Morning Overs
Back into the the routine for most today, I guess.
When I was working I loved Christmas, but realise it was more for the time off work than it being Christmas.
Have a good Monday my friends. xxxx
Back into the the routine for most today, I guess.
When I was working I loved Christmas, but realise it was more for the time off work than it being Christmas.
Have a good Monday my friends. xxxx
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: US
Posts: 16,992
First full week back to work.....can't remember if I've ever had that much time off for holiday.....the first time sober for sure! Weird how the AV stayed quiet for the most part....definitely not complaining....
Coffee o'clock
Coffee o'clock
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,769
Morning Overs
Purps, I like ‘coffee oclock’
I’m going for my appointment with the immunologist this morning. I’m hoping he’ll make some suggestions (or miracle) for when I have the skin outbreak again that drives me wanting to gouge my skin off. I didn’t, sanity prevailed...just!
Have a good Tuesday my friends xxxx
Purps, I like ‘coffee oclock’
I’m going for my appointment with the immunologist this morning. I’m hoping he’ll make some suggestions (or miracle) for when I have the skin outbreak again that drives me wanting to gouge my skin off. I didn’t, sanity prevailed...just!
Have a good Tuesday my friends xxxx
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