Class of April 2018 Part 13
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Hi all. Appreciate the thoughts and care.
Yeah I’m between a rock and a hard place because I’m on public benefits that are extremely hard to get. My father was supplementing everything. The benefit is tied to my State Insurance and I *am not allowed to work ever.* However, the benefit is not enough to live on. I’d be on the streets. It’s really the substantial extra food assistance, and full free insurance that I cannot get without the main cash benefit. Like I’d need That’s what is screwing me. I’d need to be 100% or 90% sure and dump benefits that people are dying to get. Never to get them back.
The system here is utter bull$?!+
So there is no going to work at the grocery store. They’d shut down the benefits the first month I had income.
I can volunteer for the COVID Response in my State though and I’m not afraid of doing that.
The house is dragging me down. California and the clinic there got me from 20% to 60% and now I’m losing ground with my health again.
My sister was saying this and it’s true, it’s all over for me in the Northeast. I need to leave and go to a warm, sunny place.
Ok laters. Going to try to catch my friend in the park
v
Yeah I’m between a rock and a hard place because I’m on public benefits that are extremely hard to get. My father was supplementing everything. The benefit is tied to my State Insurance and I *am not allowed to work ever.* However, the benefit is not enough to live on. I’d be on the streets. It’s really the substantial extra food assistance, and full free insurance that I cannot get without the main cash benefit. Like I’d need That’s what is screwing me. I’d need to be 100% or 90% sure and dump benefits that people are dying to get. Never to get them back.
The system here is utter bull$?!+
So there is no going to work at the grocery store. They’d shut down the benefits the first month I had income.
I can volunteer for the COVID Response in my State though and I’m not afraid of doing that.
The house is dragging me down. California and the clinic there got me from 20% to 60% and now I’m losing ground with my health again.
My sister was saying this and it’s true, it’s all over for me in the Northeast. I need to leave and go to a warm, sunny place.
Ok laters. Going to try to catch my friend in the park
v
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
I'm sorry about that Viper, your benefits system sounds as bad as it is here.
You'd be a good man to have on the Covid Response team and it would probably be good for you to be mixing with people and being part of a team. Go for it. Sending love. xx
Goodnight all, sleep well. xxx
You'd be a good man to have on the Covid Response team and it would probably be good for you to be mixing with people and being part of a team. Go for it. Sending love. xx
Goodnight all, sleep well. xxx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Hi guys
My mum is in hospital. She has a collapsed lung as a result of pneumonia. They have drained her lung of fluid and have given her strong antibiotics intravenously. They have tested her for covid and also taken sample ls to find out what caused the pneumonia. They think it's due to a chest infection but they want to make sure. I am worried and anxious, fearful of getting a phone call in the night although I know she is in tbe right place and getting the medical attention that she needs. My dad is home alone and is of course worried sick but my brother is just around the corner from him I am so grateful I am sober and can be there for both my mum and my dad and my siblings. I have zero desire to drink , yuck, the thought hasn't even crossed my mind. What a miracle for this alcoholic!!
The good news is that we have been told we are to go onto furlough for tbe next 2 months. So, my job is safe and I will still be getting paid 80% of my salary and I have 2 months off! Wow! My guinea pigs are gonna be so tame at the end of this 🤣🤣
Seren is with her dad for 2 nights. She actually seemed quite happy to go off with him today which made me happy. I am glad she is spending some time with him but also glad cos my head has been a bit all over the place today.
I am doing meetings everyday and working on my recovery and it is going from strength to strength. I am loving being sober. Even if it means having to feel some painful feelings.
Sorry for not replying individually. Erratic, I will keep your daughter in my prayers and I hope you are feeling better soon as well
Night everyone
My mum is in hospital. She has a collapsed lung as a result of pneumonia. They have drained her lung of fluid and have given her strong antibiotics intravenously. They have tested her for covid and also taken sample ls to find out what caused the pneumonia. They think it's due to a chest infection but they want to make sure. I am worried and anxious, fearful of getting a phone call in the night although I know she is in tbe right place and getting the medical attention that she needs. My dad is home alone and is of course worried sick but my brother is just around the corner from him I am so grateful I am sober and can be there for both my mum and my dad and my siblings. I have zero desire to drink , yuck, the thought hasn't even crossed my mind. What a miracle for this alcoholic!!
The good news is that we have been told we are to go onto furlough for tbe next 2 months. So, my job is safe and I will still be getting paid 80% of my salary and I have 2 months off! Wow! My guinea pigs are gonna be so tame at the end of this 🤣🤣
Seren is with her dad for 2 nights. She actually seemed quite happy to go off with him today which made me happy. I am glad she is spending some time with him but also glad cos my head has been a bit all over the place today.
I am doing meetings everyday and working on my recovery and it is going from strength to strength. I am loving being sober. Even if it means having to feel some painful feelings.
Sorry for not replying individually. Erratic, I will keep your daughter in my prayers and I hope you are feeling better soon as well
Night everyone
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Prayers and love for your mum, dad and for you and the rest of your family Suze. She is in the right place and they will be taking good care of her and yes, thank goodness you are sober and present. Your mum and dad both need that right now.
Take good care of yourself and stick close. We love you. xxxx
G.morning Erratic. xx
Back later, stay safe xx
Take good care of yourself and stick close. We love you. xxxx
G.morning Erratic. xx
Back later, stay safe xx
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
did you find any display cases erratic?
Hi Vipe -sorry the system is so difficult there - here they've totally relaxed all the rules for social security...but as you say volunteering is always an option.
DB I thought for a minute you were looking for a new husband lol.
D
Hi Vipe -sorry the system is so difficult there - here they've totally relaxed all the rules for social security...but as you say volunteering is always an option.
DB I thought for a minute you were looking for a new husband lol.
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Checking in quickly before bed. I hope you are all safe and well.
Continued prayers for your mum, Suze, I hope she is on the road to recovery now.
I hope you're okay Erratic.
No no Dee, once bitten, twice shy.
See you all tomorrow, take care and don't forget to wash your hands. xx
Continued prayers for your mum, Suze, I hope she is on the road to recovery now.
I hope you're okay Erratic.
No no Dee, once bitten, twice shy.
See you all tomorrow, take care and don't forget to wash your hands. xx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Hi all
So my mum had the fluid drained from her lung today and is on strong antibiotics and said she was feeling 100% better, her appetite had come back as well. So we were all really happy ..and then, my dad called me to say that apparently there was blood in the fluid that came from her lungs and the doctor told her he believes that her cancer has returned and that is what caused her pneumonia. They dont know for sure, they have taken samples for testing. I am trying to stay positive and strong but I am really worried and scared. No one is allowed to go and see her I cant even go and see my dad and I know he is in pain tight now. Seren is at her dads and I dount very much I will sleep tonight. I am just praying, praying, praying. I dont want to drink but I dont want to feel this pain either.
Lots of love to you all
So my mum had the fluid drained from her lung today and is on strong antibiotics and said she was feeling 100% better, her appetite had come back as well. So we were all really happy ..and then, my dad called me to say that apparently there was blood in the fluid that came from her lungs and the doctor told her he believes that her cancer has returned and that is what caused her pneumonia. They dont know for sure, they have taken samples for testing. I am trying to stay positive and strong but I am really worried and scared. No one is allowed to go and see her I cant even go and see my dad and I know he is in pain tight now. Seren is at her dads and I dount very much I will sleep tonight. I am just praying, praying, praying. I dont want to drink but I dont want to feel this pain either.
Lots of love to you all
Say cheese!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
morning all x
your mum is still in our thoughts snitch x hope ur dad is ok aswell x
dee on the display cases ive looked through so many ideas and also places that sell built ones, they are sooo expensive. I got an idea maybe of using a letterpress tray and doing it up but will see.
my positive mood lowered yesterday and had very down day but ohwell least i am alive. spoke to boss and he said next week, got feeling that maybe he might not want me back, but im just in a negative mood this morn. hub is working this weekend for overtime which just me and me for this weekend. daughter however is not good and getting to much tightnenings and bit worried that she might end up early, so she is just going to see how it goes this morn and if it doesnt stop is she will go back to hospital.
good to see u viper keep going hun xx
hope mr db is doing better with his cold x
have good day all, im off to pace around x
your mum is still in our thoughts snitch x hope ur dad is ok aswell x
dee on the display cases ive looked through so many ideas and also places that sell built ones, they are sooo expensive. I got an idea maybe of using a letterpress tray and doing it up but will see.
my positive mood lowered yesterday and had very down day but ohwell least i am alive. spoke to boss and he said next week, got feeling that maybe he might not want me back, but im just in a negative mood this morn. hub is working this weekend for overtime which just me and me for this weekend. daughter however is not good and getting to much tightnenings and bit worried that she might end up early, so she is just going to see how it goes this morn and if it doesnt stop is she will go back to hospital.
good to see u viper keep going hun xx
hope mr db is doing better with his cold x
have good day all, im off to pace around x
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
((( Big hugs))Suze, your mum has been on my mind. I'm keeping you all, your mum especially, in my prayers, I'll pray for good news. Hard times all round, even more so when you can't visit your loved ones. Stay focused and positive for yourself as well as your family. Take good care of yourself, we love you. xxx
Hi Dee, I hope you're still in rude health and I know we will all keep you occupied.
G.morning Erratic, I'm sorry you had a black cloud day yesterday and I hope you're feeling better today. The letter press tray sounds like it might work.
Try to not worry about work, what will be will be, a lot of people are being layed off at the minute but that doesn't mean you will. I can't see your boss finishing you up unless he really had to, you're there at the crack of dawn, you work hard by the sound of things and you even went in when your back was dodgy.
When is your daughter due? She really has had a rotten time of it, I bet she'll be glad when it's over.
Mr D.B is absolutely fine, his cold has gone, he just has to be vigilant because of his bad asthma. He's got a bit of cabin fever but so have a lot of people.
Back later.
Love always. Stay safe and don't forget to wash your hands. xxx
Hi Dee, I hope you're still in rude health and I know we will all keep you occupied.
G.morning Erratic, I'm sorry you had a black cloud day yesterday and I hope you're feeling better today. The letter press tray sounds like it might work.
Try to not worry about work, what will be will be, a lot of people are being layed off at the minute but that doesn't mean you will. I can't see your boss finishing you up unless he really had to, you're there at the crack of dawn, you work hard by the sound of things and you even went in when your back was dodgy.
When is your daughter due? She really has had a rotten time of it, I bet she'll be glad when it's over.
Mr D.B is absolutely fine, his cold has gone, he just has to be vigilant because of his bad asthma. He's got a bit of cabin fever but so have a lot of people.
Back later.
Love always. Stay safe and don't forget to wash your hands. xxx
Say cheese!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
I found this 
and i totaly want it for my rock collection!!! its beautifull! can see it on my new pipe and wood console table i got made for me.
and i totaly want it for my rock collection!!! its beautifull! can see it on my new pipe and wood console table i got made for me.
Last edited by Dee74; 04-04-2020 at 02:49 AM. Reason: commercial site
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
I am not in a very good place my lovely April's . I am terrified of what my mums results are going to be. I just hate life. Everyday I am trying to be positive , to be grateful for something, to try to enjoy life, but the real truth is I am terrified of it. I am not happy . I hate life. Its sh@t. I mean, how cruel is it for us to watch loved ones in pain and to have them taken from us. It's like a sick joke isnt it. I can't imagine life without my parents. I am only living for Seren. I adore her but even there I feel like a crap mum and she deserves better. I am riddled with guilt over my past especially now I behaved to my parents over the years. They are GOOD people. They did not deserve a daughter like me. I am sorry for this downer post but I am so sick of trying to put a smile on my face and pretend everything is ok and it isn't when I do start to enjoy my life and feel happy I feel guilty about it when there are so many people in the world worse off than me. I see a homeless person and I just think why do I deserve to be happy when this person is suffering so. I tell myself that I am not able to save the world! I can't even save myself but I feel so damn miserable all the time. I feel like I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. Don't worry I am it suicidal. I am not drinking either and have no desire to at all!!! I don't like feeling this way and I can see now why I did drink!
Maybe I need to see a doctor. I dunno. Gonna try sleep.
Lots of love to you all
Maybe I need to see a doctor. I dunno. Gonna try sleep.
Lots of love to you all
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
Its hard for me too - I'm a bad future tripper.
Right now none of us know whats going on with your mum - it could be a good many other things besides cancer.
If it is cancer it could be very treatable.
Don't lose yourself to despair - apart from the fact you have Seren and your folks to support, it might open the door wide to that opportunistic AV.
You're anything but a bad mum - remember your neighbour?
You're a good person too - events like this are not a punishment for your mum, right?
they're not a punishment for you either.
https://www.headspace.com/blog/2017/...ure-spiraling/
I'm not going to tell you everything will be OK - I don't know that - but I do know, right now, things being ok is as likely as any of the other possible outcomes.
We're here for you snitch - no need to do this alone
D
Right now none of us know whats going on with your mum - it could be a good many other things besides cancer.
If it is cancer it could be very treatable.
Don't lose yourself to despair - apart from the fact you have Seren and your folks to support, it might open the door wide to that opportunistic AV.
You're anything but a bad mum - remember your neighbour?
You're a good person too - events like this are not a punishment for your mum, right?
they're not a punishment for you either.
https://www.headspace.com/blog/2017/...ure-spiraling/
I'm not going to tell you everything will be OK - I don't know that - but I do know, right now, things being ok is as likely as any of the other possible outcomes.
We're here for you snitch - no need to do this alone
D
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