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Class of April 2018 Part 13 |
kerchingggg first in. Thank you Dee for this new thread. Happy Boxing day Aprils and I hope you all had a good, happy and sober Christmas. Yesterday was pretty hectic, we went to my mum's for Christmas dinner, the first time ever since I can't remember when, that I've had my dinner cooked for me. My brother, who spends half his life in Thailand and the other half here was home, he's never been married and has no children, he went to the pub with my youngest brother and we all had to wait for him to get back before we could eat, he was told that dinner would be ready for 3 o clock. He rolled home at 3.45 drunk as a skunk and went straight to bed, didn't even acknowledge us. That's how selfish alcohol makes people. He is 'under the weather' today, self inflicted misery. I won't lie and say that I haven't been tempted over the last couple of days because the A.V has been trying to whisper sweet b.s in my ear, it would be so easy to sneak a drink when it's right there facing me, but I managed to push those thoughts right out of my head. I played the tape to the end. Fact is, I'm terrified of drinking because I'm frightened that I wouldn't be able to stop again. I'd lose everything that is precious to me and I just can't do that. It isn't worth it. Back later I hope. Love always. xxx |
Great post DB - sorry about your brother tho. D |
Daisy I am glad you got a break from cooking this year. My mum did a great job this Christmas but she said she doesn't think she will be able to do it again. It's too much for her now or it will be. Even though we help out she does the majority and she is 72 now. She does the best Christmas dinner though, I enjoyed it sooo much! Yes, sorry about your brother too. Alcohol does do that to people. That would have been me! I am so glad I didn't need to go lie down (pass out) cos I was so drunk this year. Even though my sister,brother and sis in law were good fun last night, today my sister might as well have not been here! She was so tired and hungover she barely said 2 words and left early evening. My brother wasn't too bad, he is good company but he looked absolutely shattered and my sis in law was very fragile. People aren't the same when they drink but they are also different when hungover too. I am just so glad that I am getting my head on my pillow sober tonight. We have had a good laugh. My dad said how much he has enjoyed Christmas this year. I guess it must have been me that was the biggest problem 😞 although my brother hasn't always been an angel!! Still, he has cut down on his drinking alot. I thought for sure he was an alcoholic but no way I could have cut down like him. Anyway, I have had a good time but I am kind of slightly glad it is over now because the run up, and Christmas itself, is very booze orientated and I still consider myself to be in early recovery. Still bedding in those new neuron pathways!! At least in January people will be (hopefully!) trying to stay off the stuff! Speaking of which , I have totally over indulged with food and feel like a big, fat 🐷 . I am off to work tomorrow and am going to start on a fitness and diet regime. !! If I can kick the drink I can do anything! I am determined to be back in my size 10's by April. Oooh April!! Will be 2 years sober then (God willing 🙏) Yes, so work tomorrow. Back to reality. Am looking forward to a rest and to watch netflix! After my work outs of course 🤣🤣 Erratic, how are you doing? Viper, will be in touch when I am away. I am going to Chicago tomorrow. Nichole lived about 2 hours from there as we were talking about where the nearest place I flew into was to her. I really thought maybe one day I could visit her. No chance of that now 😢 but she will always be in my ❤ Night lovelies x x |
Snitch - I wished I had lived in the same country as her, I am so far away. I have been talking with her husband today about the funeral and what's gonna happen and it brings me so much peace to know how much he is honouring the person she was.. I will go to the beach to send her off and then into the Bush, she loved all the videos I sent her of our birds and nature here in New Zealand, her husband told me that she had wanted to come visit me here in NZ and they had talked about doing it quite a lot. Hopefully one day I can go visit where she rests.. Today I am sober and feeling at peace.. I hope you all are finding your peace in this hard time.. |
Good morning Aprils, I hope you're all well, happy & sober. I have no plans for today so I'll just go with the flow. G.son stayed over with his daddy last night and I'll go and pick him up at some point. Mr D.B has gone back to work today, he went off very reluctantly but it has to be done. The weather looks a bit miserable but nothing new there. I'm not even dressed yet, just sat in front of the fire typing and having a coffee, with the cat curled up at my feet. Peaceful. Thank you Dee. My brother isn't an alcoholic, he just had a lot too many and suffered the consequences. No doubt he has suffered a tongue lashing off my mum since :lmao I hope your Christmas was everything you hoped it would be. Suze, my mum is 86 and she did brilliantly, she's a legend. My intentions were to help her and do as much as possible, which I did, but she had it all under control. She'd prepped all the veg the night before and had been up at the crack of dawn to stick the turkey in the oven. It's tradition in our family that all the men go to the pub Christmas Eve whilst the women do the dinner ( can't say that I like it), my husband didn't go, but my brother's, both of them, went over the top. My other brother went home to his wife for dinner. Have a safe journey to Chicago, I'll look forward to hearing all about it. Hi Red, it's comforting to know that Nichole's husband is trying to honour her wishes. I hope he is coping and caring for their children in the best way he can. She would love the thought of you going to the beach and then into the bush to send her off, I'm sure she would appreciate that. I am pleased that today you are sober and feel at peace, that is what Nichole would want for you. Take good care of yourself and feel free to stick with us if it helps, we would all love that, I'm sure. Back later, I need another coffee. Love always. xx |
I didn't think he was one of us Daisy - neither is my brother - but he is a pain in the rear end sometimes for similar reasons. D |
evening all x sry havent been able to post, was at work again today and i am full of the cold same as hub x nothing to say just now and thanks red for sharing ur post x thinking of you all xx have good night x |
Hi again Aprils, I hope you've all had the best day possible. I'm home alone tonight and loving it, Mr D.B has gone to visit a friend and I'm just enjoying my own company. I never thought I'd say that but it's true. Thanks Dee, my brother, your brother and anyone else who is as nissed as a pewt, they're all pains in the rear end. x Hi Erratic, good to see you posting, I hope work wasn't too awful today. Sorry your full of a cold, there's a lot of it about at the moment, I blame all this damp weather. Get some honey and lemon and keep warm, I hope you're better very soon. Red, ((( big hugs)) I hope you've had a good day. Back tomorrow. Love always. xxxx |
Red Thanks. I’m the only one in the group in the US now 😢. I’m 2 hours north of New York City. Too far from Nichole. I’d love to see New Zealand. It’s on my list. Australia will be my 6th and final continent at some point. You’re very close... Today was a crap day for me folks. My health was acting up and I was pretty foggy in the head and tired. But it’s unusually warm so I took my motorcycle out. I was thinking twice about it. SO, I was on my way home and I wanted a look at something on a tiny road. I was going very slow, and looking totally to my left at a barn, and then looked ahead... i was going off the road! I braked and the bike came to a stop a tenth of a second after hitting a mailbox post that is a 3 inch plumbing pipe. Uuuughhhhhh. I shattered ‘the beak’ or fender of the bike which is the front upper mud guard. I didn’t know what the damage was yet. I didn’t go down, I saved the situation, and the home owner was right there in his SUV. He was really nice. A biker dude. He helped me get myself situated and push the bike off the post. No real damage, scuffs, a broken stick-on reflector, and the shattered beak part. That’s an easy fix, it bolts right around the front forks, but BMW 😡. Them and their damn prices. 2 expensive pieces of plastic. Whatever. I’m going to buy from the dealer, move on and not do THAT again!! Honestly there’s only one red fender for it in the US, in California, that the dealer can see in his system. I want my baby right again so screw it. It didn’t rattle me. It was very surreal. Like not happening. Well The Clinic in CA will clear my head and hopefully that will not be an issue anymore! Dont worry I’ll be fine on the bike. Another rookie mistake. Lesson learned. VIPER 🐍 |
Glad you didn't hurt yourself Vipe. D |
Good morning Aprils, hope you're all having a good day. All quiet here so far, just the way I like it. Thank goodness you weren't hurt Viper,that's the most important thing. You lucky but unlucky. I'd love to see New Zealand too.....one day. Back later Love always xx |
Originally Posted by Red78
(Post 7342679)
Snitch - I wished I had lived in the same country as her, I am so far away. I have been talking with her husband today about the funeral and what's gonna happen and it brings me so much peace to know how much he is honouring the person she was.. I will go to the beach to send her off and then into the Bush, she loved all the videos I sent her of our birds and nature here in New Zealand, her husband told me that she had wanted to come visit me here in NZ and they had talked about doing it quite a lot. Hopefully one day I can go visit where she rests.. Today I am sober and feeling at peace.. I hope you all are finding your peace in this hard time.. Red, please feel free to post here whenever you want. If you feel like you are struggling with drinking, we have a bit of sobriety behind us and are always willing to share out own experience, strengths and Hope's with you! ❤🙏❤🙏 |
Hey everyone. I am in Chicago. The windy city! Unfortunately we have hardly any time here but that's ok. I need a rest after Christmas! Wow kids have so much energy haha. Daisy, sitting in front of the fire with your little LuLu at your feet sounds bliss! Your story about your brother shows that you do not have to be an alcoholic for alcohol to impede on your life. Even "normal" drinkers drink too much, pass out, do things they regret, feel crap the day after. Who would even want to be a "normal" drinker. I would have said yes at one point but no more. I love that I don't have to drink poison anymore!! On my flight , one of my crew said he was trying to lay off the booze this trip. He said in Christmas Eve he drank 8 pints of lager, a bottle of red wine and a couple of whiskey's. Ugh! Then drank Christmas Day too. When we got to the hotel another guy said to me oh the bar looks lively I said are you going down? He said NO. He said he got so pi#@ed yesterday, he passed out on the sofa with a glass of wine in his hand at 2am. Our report was 10.30 in the morning. He looked absolutely shattered. Do I miss any of that?? Hell NO!! How was Your Christmas Erratic? Did you have your curry?!! Did you manage to stay sober? If you don't mind me asking! Viper! What you like lol. Am glad you weren't hurt. I am feeling good at the moment. Am using CBT to challenge negative thinking. Thoughts are so powerful and I have learnt in sobriety they can really take me down. However I am able to challenge them and change them and put in action to do things that are good for me. I love it! Our minds are pretty powerful. Am going to look more onto this in the New Year. I ate really healthy yesterday. I never thought I would say this but I am so sick of food! The next 5 weeks is healthy eating and exercise! Ok my lovelies catch up later! Thanks for the new thread Dee and for all you do for us. You share so much wisdom. You have no idea how much I have learnt from you! Forever grateful. ❤🙏 |
Just doing my usual bedtime check in. I hope you've all had a good day/night. We all went to my daughter's mother in laws tonight ( she's my bestie too), for a cheese and wine party, or in my case a cheese and cup of tea party. My daughter's boyfriend had composed a Christmas Quiz, he's really, really good at them and we had a great fun night. Home now, bathed and p.j's on and what''s even better is that I won't have a hangover tomorrow or wake up worrying about who I may have upset. Good to hear from you Suze, all the way over there in windy Chicago, I don't envy how your colleague must have felt after drinking all that booze, he must have been rough. If you don't mind me asking, how did you get into using CBT for fighting your negative thoughts? Is it something you've learnt from having counceling or similar, or are you doing it off your own bat. I don't mean to be nosy, I'm just interested in how you go about it. I'm sick of food too, I'm holding a buffet on New Years day, but before and after it, I need to be really strict with myself or else I'm going to be like a roly poly weeble. Back tomorrow. Love always xxx |
My father has fallen down at the top of the drive and a passerby got an ambulance. My mother was calling her sister 10 times because she has no idea where he went from friggin 2 minutes ago. She just can’t remember. My cousin calls us. We all rush to the house. He’s not there. We are searching. Sister starts calling hospitals and finds him. His leg is hurt bad but we dunno yet. If this is a broken hip it’s all over. My brother and I just moved me out of my lair downstairs in back to upstairs. This is a F-ING nightmare. My worst nightmare. I was supposed to be living in god dam Africa by now. V check in later |
Hope its not as bad as you fear Vipe, and that your dad is up and about again soon. D |
So It’s a broken hip and he needs surgery tomorrow morning. Then probably a rehab place. He’s 90. Someone needs to care for my mom, and I can’t handle it. Period. My sister and brother will have to handle it all. I’m not good. Anyway I’m thinking of California. I’m outta here in 9 days and I think if I start feeling better I should extend my stay there or take it somewhere else that’s warm and avoid all this ****, if I can. I mean if the clinic can get me to 100% with more time I’ll stay. If they need that time. I scheduled a month cause that’s what they think it will take give me a good jump start. I’d rather be solid than just jump started. We’ll see what happens. V |
I'm sorry its a broken hip Vipe. Sorry you're not good but hope your plans pan out. D |
Morning April's Just having a cuppa before getting ready for work. Last little trip across the Atlantic and then I have 2 weeks off when I am home 😁 I'll need it! Picking up the guinea pigs when I am back eek! Oh so sorry Viper about your dad. I wish him a speedy recovery. So Daisy, when I was pregnant I made a decision to come off of my anti depressants as they were not recommended to be taken when pregnant. Instead, the doctor prescribed me some CBT sessions to help. However, what I didn't know at the time was that I was an alcoholic and that what added to my depression was the restless, irritable and discontent I felt because I was having to abstain from alcohol! I would have done better to have gone to AA then but thats in the past now. Hence to say, CBT wasn't that effective on me then. I needed to treat my alcoholism! Anyway, I still had all the paperwork of my sessions and got them out recently, I also follow SMART recovery on Instagram which uses CBT to change thinking. It isn't that dissimilar to what I have learnt in AA in some ways. At least, the message is similar just dressed up differently because I am not sure they had CBT back in the 1940's and in AA our thinking is directed by our HP. So last night a thought popped into my head of something from my past that gives me pain. When I was drinking I would drink on that pain, crying more the more I drank. Ugh! In early recovery I would let those thoughts fester, that 's when I would have those periods of darkness, let my mind run with it. What a bad person I was, how much I hate myself, everyone would be better off if I was dead! How powerful are our minds!!! Last night I challenged that thought.... I told myself that the past has gone, I was young then and I have since forgiven myself. I have forgiven others for what they have done to me SO I can forgive myself. It does work. I have ordered a SMART recovery workbook, I will let you know what that is like. Dee I saw your comment on Red's post about changing Nicholes real name to protect her anonymity. Sorry! I didn't think! It seemed right to honour her by her real name but of course she made an identity for a reason. As we all did. She will forever be Nichole to me. ❤ Off to Boston today. I will be happy today, I will be grateful, I will be kind to others, I will be honest and I will not let myself slip into resentment, self pity or self seeking motives. We are blessed to be alive and to be free from the chains of alcohol. This time 3 years ago I was recovering from a hangover and from the huge fallout of a drunken argument which turned into a physical fight with my ex best friend, in front of our little girls. Ugh! I am so grateful it isn't like that today. Lots of love, have a great day all no matter what you are up to. 🙏❤🙏❤ |
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