Class of April 2018 Part 13
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Morning all
I am home. I got back yesterday. My flight was ok! I prayed to my HP for patience, tolerance and compassion. I put my mind into a positive mindset because if I go in all negative then experience has shown me I will be in for a rough ride. I accepted that yes, this aircraft is not tbe best to work on but it is what it is so how can I make it work for me as best as possible? And it was all ok. Long! But ok 😊
Viper, you are back now? What's happening?
Daisy how is your son doing? yes it will be totally worth all the travelling when you have your new smile 😁
Just fed the piggies and now they are out for a run around the living room. They make my heart swell 😍😍
My ex has Seren for an extra night. He is on email only now. He emailed and asked her if he could have her tonight (I am meant to be getting her back) as he wants to cook her pancakes. I thought pancake day was yesterday! Hmmm. But whatever. I am tired of arguing with him. I said yes thats fine. No other conversation. I feel so much calmer and more serene when we only communicate by email. Have to stay strong!!! So it gives me a day all to myself at home. Bliss.
Enjoy your day everyone xx
I am home. I got back yesterday. My flight was ok! I prayed to my HP for patience, tolerance and compassion. I put my mind into a positive mindset because if I go in all negative then experience has shown me I will be in for a rough ride. I accepted that yes, this aircraft is not tbe best to work on but it is what it is so how can I make it work for me as best as possible? And it was all ok. Long! But ok 😊
Viper, you are back now? What's happening?
Daisy how is your son doing? yes it will be totally worth all the travelling when you have your new smile 😁
Just fed the piggies and now they are out for a run around the living room. They make my heart swell 😍😍
My ex has Seren for an extra night. He is on email only now. He emailed and asked her if he could have her tonight (I am meant to be getting her back) as he wants to cook her pancakes. I thought pancake day was yesterday! Hmmm. But whatever. I am tired of arguing with him. I said yes thats fine. No other conversation. I feel so much calmer and more serene when we only communicate by email. Have to stay strong!!! So it gives me a day all to myself at home. Bliss.
Enjoy your day everyone xx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Welcome home Suze, glad you got back safely. You used all the right tools to keep yourself on track on that journey home.
I think you're right to be in contact with your ex only by email, you have to do what's right for you and you don't warrant being criticised constantly. It was pancake day yesterday but I'm sure it wont make any difference if he makes pancakes today.
My son is doing ok, thank you for asking. He's at home re-cooperating and is getting stronger by the day. He lost a stone in 1 week when he was in the hospital. He's still being pleasant to me and I'm still keeping my boundaries in place. It may sound strange but I'm so used to his abuse it makes me uneasy when hes nice to me, it's like I'm waiting for the catch.
Thinking about you Viper. xx
Hope you're okay Erratic.
Hi Dee. x
Back later, love always. xx
I think you're right to be in contact with your ex only by email, you have to do what's right for you and you don't warrant being criticised constantly. It was pancake day yesterday but I'm sure it wont make any difference if he makes pancakes today.
My son is doing ok, thank you for asking. He's at home re-cooperating and is getting stronger by the day. He lost a stone in 1 week when he was in the hospital. He's still being pleasant to me and I'm still keeping my boundaries in place. It may sound strange but I'm so used to his abuse it makes me uneasy when hes nice to me, it's like I'm waiting for the catch.
Thinking about you Viper. xx
Hope you're okay Erratic.
Hi Dee. x
Back later, love always. xx
Say cheese!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
still here x
(((hugs)) to u all and thinking of you viper x
thanks for ur understanding snitch on the med i am on... daisy glad ur son is doing better and u are doing good and dentist x
thinking of you all just getting to grips with new med and everything. just say i am on 4th af and had my alcohol councilor this morn.
take care xx
(((hugs)) to u all and thinking of you viper x
thanks for ur understanding snitch on the med i am on... daisy glad ur son is doing better and u are doing good and dentist x
thinking of you all just getting to grips with new med and everything. just say i am on 4th af and had my alcohol councilor this morn.
take care xx
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
Hi everyone 
glad your son is doing better Daisy
glad you got home Snitch.
Hi erratic hope the med beds in soon
doesn't sound like that house is a good place for you Vipe - whats your plan?
D
glad your son is doing better Daisy
glad you got home Snitch.
Hi erratic hope the med beds in soon
doesn't sound like that house is a good place for you Vipe - whats your plan?
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Hi again lovelies, just a quick check in before bed. I hope you've all had a good day. It's forecast snow here for tomorrow 
it's certainly cold enough.
Hugs right back at you Erratic. I hope the new meds aren't causing you any further discomfort. Day 4 is fabulous, proud of you, I know you can do this. You take care too. xx
I'm loving your quote pic Dee, very apt.
See you all tomorrow. Sleep well or whatever.
Love always. xx
it's certainly cold enough.Hugs right back at you Erratic. I hope the new meds aren't causing you any further discomfort. Day 4 is fabulous, proud of you, I know you can do this. You take care too. xx
I'm loving your quote pic Dee, very apt.
See you all tomorrow. Sleep well or whatever.
Love always. xx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Good morning all, hope you slept well. Not much to say yet, it's early. The snow hasn't arrived up to now, it's currently pouring down for a change.
Back later, have the best day you can.
Love always. xx
Back later, have the best day you can.
Love always. xx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Morning lovelies
Yes, need to wrap up warm here too Daisy although no snow thankfully.
Congrats on your AF days Erratic yey that's awesome 🙂🙂
My head is telling me to stay in bed but I am getting up now to get to my meeting. First one in about 2 weeks! Then I have to get my nails done and do some shopping before picking up my little munchkin. Guineas all cleaned out yesterday so they are happy. Will check in later x x
Yes, need to wrap up warm here too Daisy although no snow thankfully.
Congrats on your AF days Erratic yey that's awesome 🙂🙂
My head is telling me to stay in bed but I am getting up now to get to my meeting. First one in about 2 weeks! Then I have to get my nails done and do some shopping before picking up my little munchkin. Guineas all cleaned out yesterday so they are happy. Will check in later x x
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Just checking in to say goodnight. I hope you all have a good one.
It was my eldest g.son's 13th birthday today so we all went out to Weatherspoon's for dinner. Can't believe he's 13, that makes me feel really old, lol. Other than that all is well.
Back tomorrow, sleep well.
Love always xxx
It was my eldest g.son's 13th birthday today so we all went out to Weatherspoon's for dinner. Can't believe he's 13, that makes me feel really old, lol. Other than that all is well.
Back tomorrow, sleep well.
Love always xxx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Happy Birthday to your eldest grandson Daisy 🥳🥳 a teenager eeek! I'm glad you all had a nice meal together.
I felt awful last night. My while body was aching, I felt like I had been trampled on by an elephant. My head was banging. I even looked up Coronavirus symptoms. On my flight home I bent down to put a tray away and someone coughed near my face. Nice! So I started worrying a bit last night but the symptoms were shortness of breath and cough and something else that I didnt have. I feel much better this morning! Really thought I would be coming down with something.
I went to my meeting yesterday morning and did some shopping and got my nails done in the day and after school went for coffee with friends so the girls could play. I even felt off about my little piggies yesterday thinking I had made a mistake getting them but it must have just been because I felt awful because I don't feel like that today! Although they are quite hard work because they poop and pee so much. I have fleece liners for them which makes it easier . I swept their poops up 3 times yesterday! I change their little fleece pee pads everyday and do a whole cage clean every 3 or 4 days and put a new fleece liner down. It's a lot of washing. Anyway they are part of the family now bless them but I can see how kids may want them so badly and lose interest after a while. Seren still adores them but she doesn't do any of the dirty work haha.
Today I Am going to my meeting and then doing step work with my sponsor. We are starting step 3 today. I just want to get them done. I have been in the rooms 20 months now and newer people are further along. Still, it's not a race but I am looking forward to progressing.
Other than that, not much else going on. Just trudging the road of happy destiny. ❤❤
I felt awful last night. My while body was aching, I felt like I had been trampled on by an elephant. My head was banging. I even looked up Coronavirus symptoms. On my flight home I bent down to put a tray away and someone coughed near my face. Nice! So I started worrying a bit last night but the symptoms were shortness of breath and cough and something else that I didnt have. I feel much better this morning! Really thought I would be coming down with something.
I went to my meeting yesterday morning and did some shopping and got my nails done in the day and after school went for coffee with friends so the girls could play. I even felt off about my little piggies yesterday thinking I had made a mistake getting them but it must have just been because I felt awful because I don't feel like that today! Although they are quite hard work because they poop and pee so much. I have fleece liners for them which makes it easier . I swept their poops up 3 times yesterday! I change their little fleece pee pads everyday and do a whole cage clean every 3 or 4 days and put a new fleece liner down. It's a lot of washing. Anyway they are part of the family now bless them but I can see how kids may want them so badly and lose interest after a while. Seren still adores them but she doesn't do any of the dirty work haha.
Today I Am going to my meeting and then doing step work with my sponsor. We are starting step 3 today. I just want to get them done. I have been in the rooms 20 months now and newer people are further along. Still, it's not a race but I am looking forward to progressing.
Other than that, not much else going on. Just trudging the road of happy destiny. ❤❤
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Good afternoon Aprils and a happy Friday to you. The snow has missed us completely but its horrible out there, lashing it down out with icy rain and its forecast more storms for the weekend. Lovely. Not.
Thank you Suze, yes a teenager, yikes.
I'm glad you're feeling much better today and I'm sure you'll feel even more better once you've been to your meeting and got a start on step 3. Don't worry about where other people are up to, it really doesn't matter, all that matters is that you are sober and doing whatever is necessary to stay that way. Enjoy.
Back later when I hope to see a few more of you. xx
Love always xx
Thank you Suze, yes a teenager, yikes.
I'm glad you're feeling much better today and I'm sure you'll feel even more better once you've been to your meeting and got a start on step 3. Don't worry about where other people are up to, it really doesn't matter, all that matters is that you are sober and doing whatever is necessary to stay that way. Enjoy.
Back later when I hope to see a few more of you. xx
Love always xx
Say cheese!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
morning all x
sry wasnt on yesterday have been bz with all sorts of things.
daughter got letter from hospital the other day saying they found out why she has been having problems with urine infection and stuff, they said that she has strep b, so they have to plan on what to do when she goes into labour as they will have to give her iv antibiotics while she has the baby and also take antibiotics when infections flare up which has been happening. So she was pretty down about that, but good news also is that the mental health midwife is going to be seeing her and the team is going to help her through her thoughts and worries. On a good note her partner got himself a pt job yesterday which is good it takes the worry off her for being off sick from work and being the only person bringing in money. so thats a rough update on that. x
at my work i found out one of our customers who i have known since working there died yesterday morning which he was unwell for few weeks and had problems with docs helping him, anyway thats was a person who i spoke to all the time and he helped so many people and his step daughter was the lady who worked the afternoons of my shift, so that was a shock to find out. He also lost his brother only 3 or 4 wks ago!
i am still taking the 2 new tabs, and totally doing my 0 days, also found out that the group thing i will be going is running late and i will get assessment soon as they sort everything out, so alcohol guy said not is the time to work on this with the new tab i am taking, so all is fine there.
will catch up with all ur posts shortly x
oh on a cheery matter not! here is a link which givse u up to date info on the coronavirus, and when hub showed me it, my god! its actually worse than i thought.
https://www.arcgis.com/apps/opsdashb...23467b48e9ecf6
be back again later x sry for all the doom and gloom x
sry wasnt on yesterday have been bz with all sorts of things.
daughter got letter from hospital the other day saying they found out why she has been having problems with urine infection and stuff, they said that she has strep b, so they have to plan on what to do when she goes into labour as they will have to give her iv antibiotics while she has the baby and also take antibiotics when infections flare up which has been happening. So she was pretty down about that, but good news also is that the mental health midwife is going to be seeing her and the team is going to help her through her thoughts and worries. On a good note her partner got himself a pt job yesterday which is good it takes the worry off her for being off sick from work and being the only person bringing in money. so thats a rough update on that. x
at my work i found out one of our customers who i have known since working there died yesterday morning which he was unwell for few weeks and had problems with docs helping him, anyway thats was a person who i spoke to all the time and he helped so many people and his step daughter was the lady who worked the afternoons of my shift, so that was a shock to find out. He also lost his brother only 3 or 4 wks ago!
i am still taking the 2 new tabs, and totally doing my 0 days, also found out that the group thing i will be going is running late and i will get assessment soon as they sort everything out, so alcohol guy said not is the time to work on this with the new tab i am taking, so all is fine there.
will catch up with all ur posts shortly x
oh on a cheery matter not! here is a link which givse u up to date info on the coronavirus, and when hub showed me it, my god! its actually worse than i thought.
https://www.arcgis.com/apps/opsdashb...23467b48e9ecf6
be back again later x sry for all the doom and gloom x
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Good evening Aprils.. sorry I didn't get chance to check in yesterday, it's just been a busy weekend for me, child minding stuff and then we've been out this evening to a little tea party for g.son no. 1 even though it was his birthday on Thursday.
I'm a bit miffed with my car, the speedometer isn't working at all, only had a new one fitted last year, honestly this car has been the car from hell. Maybe it's time for a change.
I may or may not be at the dental hospital tomorrow. I'm not sure if there is some sort of mix up, as far as I'm aware my next appointment is 28 April and I've received a letter from the hosp confirming that, but yesterday I received a text reminding me of my appointment on 02 March ( tomorrow) at 11. I haven't been able to phone as the appointment dept is only open Mon to Fri so I'll have to phone after school drop off in the morning, I don't want to trek all the way to Liverpool if it's a mistake.
Erratic, I'm sorry about your daughter but at least now they know what it is and they can treat her accordingly. Good news about her partner though. I'm glad he's got himself a job.
That's sad news about your customer, may he R.I.P. it plays on your mind when you've know them.
Brilliant news about your zero days, that's great, the alcohol guy seems to know his stuff too, I have a gut feeling that this is all going to work out for you.
I'm not panicking about the Cornavirus thing at all, I think there is a lot of scare mongering, it was the same when the chicken flu and the swine flu were in full force. I didn't think your post was all doom and gloom by the way, you were just saying it the way it is.
Back tomorrow I hope.
Love always xxx
I'm a bit miffed with my car, the speedometer isn't working at all, only had a new one fitted last year, honestly this car has been the car from hell. Maybe it's time for a change.
I may or may not be at the dental hospital tomorrow. I'm not sure if there is some sort of mix up, as far as I'm aware my next appointment is 28 April and I've received a letter from the hosp confirming that, but yesterday I received a text reminding me of my appointment on 02 March ( tomorrow) at 11. I haven't been able to phone as the appointment dept is only open Mon to Fri so I'll have to phone after school drop off in the morning, I don't want to trek all the way to Liverpool if it's a mistake.
Erratic, I'm sorry about your daughter but at least now they know what it is and they can treat her accordingly. Good news about her partner though. I'm glad he's got himself a job.
That's sad news about your customer, may he R.I.P. it plays on your mind when you've know them.
Brilliant news about your zero days, that's great, the alcohol guy seems to know his stuff too, I have a gut feeling that this is all going to work out for you.
I'm not panicking about the Cornavirus thing at all, I think there is a lot of scare mongering, it was the same when the chicken flu and the swine flu were in full force. I didn't think your post was all doom and gloom by the way, you were just saying it the way it is.
Back tomorrow I hope.
Love always xxx
Say cheese!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
morn x
noo dee didnt take it personal, glad u are feeling better. sry if i sounded needy lol
daisy sounds like a bz weekend hun, cars eh they are a pain in the rear. I like the sound of the tea party x hope you get ur appointment sorted and dont have to trek all the way to liverpool x
i havent got much to do today, have cpn tomo and then blood tests and then getting my darn hair done on wed, yay not before time.
will leave it there for now, better go get the pooch out, so will be back later. hope u all have a good day, here thinking of you snitch and viper, hope u both are ok xx
noo dee didnt take it personal, glad u are feeling better. sry if i sounded needy lol
daisy sounds like a bz weekend hun, cars eh they are a pain in the rear. I like the sound of the tea party x hope you get ur appointment sorted and dont have to trek all the way to liverpool x
i havent got much to do today, have cpn tomo and then blood tests and then getting my darn hair done on wed, yay not before time.
will leave it there for now, better go get the pooch out, so will be back later. hope u all have a good day, here thinking of you snitch and viper, hope u both are ok xx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Morning guys.
i did start writing on saturday morning (or Sunday, can't remember) and got cut short!! So here I am... Having a cuppa whilst Seren is still sleeping. I am not sure how parents with more than one child cope!!
Yes I remember something about strep B when I was pregnant Errqric. I didn't have it but I remember them bringing it up. I just had to Google it though as I couldn't remember what it was. Your daughter is in the safest hands and I too am glad that her partner has a job now. My ex was in and out of work (mainly out!!) when I was pregnant and it is a worry. I had savings at the time which helped. Sorry too to hear about your customer. Just another reminder that when your time is up it is up and to try to enjoy each day as it comes.
On that note, well, where do I start. I have had a really horribly emotional weekend. It started on Saturday. My mate asked me if I could have her daughter for a few hours which was fine cos it's nice for Seren to have friends to play with plus they are at that age where they don't need chaperoning and so I can get on with other things. But a couple of hours turned into 8 hours! By that time Seren and the oldest friend had fallen out and Seren was in tears, they were all getting tired and hungry and the little one wasn't feeling well! I wasn't very happy and to top it all off I sent my ex an email just asking him what time he had booked parents evening for on Tuesday and I got a tirade of abuse about what a sh't mum I am, how living with me is going to ruin our daughter's potential, that I am a narcissist and only do something to get something back !! I just lost it. I couldn't stop crying. How much more of this can I take. If it wasn't for Seren I would have gone and bought wine. In fact, I don't wanna scare anyone here but I actually felt like I don't wanna be here and if I had a box of pills I would have washed them down with alcohol EXCEPT I would not have because OF MY DAUGHTER.
So.... here comes the other thing. I am now struggling with AA and with the whole HP thing. I didn't pray on saturday night despite my sponsor telling me to. She said prayers, meetings, gratitude list. No. I didn't pray. I didn't drink because 1. Seren 2. I didn't really want to drink. I just wanted to escape reality for a bit. However I knew how I would feel the next morning . I knew that as bad as it was that night , it would be a million times worse if I took a drink. The real truth was i actually didn't even really want to drink. Now, that didn't come from a Higher Power. That didn't come from God. That came from me . Snitch. My own strength.
Yestersay, I started watching a Netflix documentary called The trials of Gabriel Fernandez. It is about a little boy who was severely abused by his mum and her boyfriend over a period if 8 months. What those monsters did to him oh my. I sat there and thought if there was a God, an almighty being, then there is no way on Earth he could let that happen to an innocent 8 year old child and not do anything about it. No effing way..
My point is that I am coming to the realisation that it wasn't God that got me sober. It was ME. Yes, I WAS powerless over alcohol. But that was because I was ADDICTED to alcohol. It is a drug and it had hijacked my brain and I didn't know how to stop. By praying to God instead of picking up a drink I was taking my mind off of the craving. I could have been praying to one of my guinea pigs. It would have had the same effect.
i am no longer powerless . Not over alcohol. Not over food. Yes over other people sure. Who isn't?? But not over myself and my actions. I feel like I have been stagnating. Living in a powerless state of mind for too long . AA helped me break my addiction to alcohol and to get into recovery, I will always be grateful for that but I am taking my power back now. I am in control of my thoughts, feelings and actions. Me, not God. In my home group of AA I believe I am the only one who has access to some other kind of recovery as in SR. The others live and breathe AA. Good for them if it is working but it is not as black and white for me. I have been struggling with it for a while as you know .
I am going to the meeting today as I have service. I still have my sponsor at the moment I don't want to do a big fanfare of that's it I am done lol. The old me would have done that haha and u don't want to cut off my nose to spite my face. I do enjoy meetings now and then as at the end of the day it is a bunch of people who had problems with alcohol like me who are living sober or wanting sobriety so it can't all be bad. One thing that is not sitting that well at the minute is that I only ever got to step 5. Part of me does feel that it would be interesting to finish all the steps just to see if I have any great revelation. We'll see.
I feel Much more positive this morning. Like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I feel more open to praying to the Universe. I certainly do believe in a Power Greater than me. Many Powers I am sure lol. Ultimately though, I have control of my own life. What I do, where I go, what I say, how I act. Whether I pick up a drjnk or not is down to ME not God.
Wow, I am sorry if this is all a bit deep for a Monday morning haha.
Erratic congrats on your AF days. See, you are using a different method to get sober and so far so good!!
Life is for living and although I am sober I am not living. Today that changes.
Love to you all
Dee, I hope you are feeling better bet. I get so much from your responses to others and I always remember you saying you needed to build a life that you didn't want to escape from. I just love that and al going to start building that life today.
Ok, am getting up!!
Happy MHappy all.
Viper?
Red?
P.s Myself and Daisy are both in touch with Blusey and she is doing fantastically well ❤❤
i did start writing on saturday morning (or Sunday, can't remember) and got cut short!! So here I am... Having a cuppa whilst Seren is still sleeping. I am not sure how parents with more than one child cope!!
Yes I remember something about strep B when I was pregnant Errqric. I didn't have it but I remember them bringing it up. I just had to Google it though as I couldn't remember what it was. Your daughter is in the safest hands and I too am glad that her partner has a job now. My ex was in and out of work (mainly out!!) when I was pregnant and it is a worry. I had savings at the time which helped. Sorry too to hear about your customer. Just another reminder that when your time is up it is up and to try to enjoy each day as it comes.
On that note, well, where do I start. I have had a really horribly emotional weekend. It started on Saturday. My mate asked me if I could have her daughter for a few hours which was fine cos it's nice for Seren to have friends to play with plus they are at that age where they don't need chaperoning and so I can get on with other things. But a couple of hours turned into 8 hours! By that time Seren and the oldest friend had fallen out and Seren was in tears, they were all getting tired and hungry and the little one wasn't feeling well! I wasn't very happy and to top it all off I sent my ex an email just asking him what time he had booked parents evening for on Tuesday and I got a tirade of abuse about what a sh't mum I am, how living with me is going to ruin our daughter's potential, that I am a narcissist and only do something to get something back !! I just lost it. I couldn't stop crying. How much more of this can I take. If it wasn't for Seren I would have gone and bought wine. In fact, I don't wanna scare anyone here but I actually felt like I don't wanna be here and if I had a box of pills I would have washed them down with alcohol EXCEPT I would not have because OF MY DAUGHTER.
So.... here comes the other thing. I am now struggling with AA and with the whole HP thing. I didn't pray on saturday night despite my sponsor telling me to. She said prayers, meetings, gratitude list. No. I didn't pray. I didn't drink because 1. Seren 2. I didn't really want to drink. I just wanted to escape reality for a bit. However I knew how I would feel the next morning . I knew that as bad as it was that night , it would be a million times worse if I took a drink. The real truth was i actually didn't even really want to drink. Now, that didn't come from a Higher Power. That didn't come from God. That came from me . Snitch. My own strength.
Yestersay, I started watching a Netflix documentary called The trials of Gabriel Fernandez. It is about a little boy who was severely abused by his mum and her boyfriend over a period if 8 months. What those monsters did to him oh my. I sat there and thought if there was a God, an almighty being, then there is no way on Earth he could let that happen to an innocent 8 year old child and not do anything about it. No effing way..
My point is that I am coming to the realisation that it wasn't God that got me sober. It was ME. Yes, I WAS powerless over alcohol. But that was because I was ADDICTED to alcohol. It is a drug and it had hijacked my brain and I didn't know how to stop. By praying to God instead of picking up a drink I was taking my mind off of the craving. I could have been praying to one of my guinea pigs. It would have had the same effect.
i am no longer powerless . Not over alcohol. Not over food. Yes over other people sure. Who isn't?? But not over myself and my actions. I feel like I have been stagnating. Living in a powerless state of mind for too long . AA helped me break my addiction to alcohol and to get into recovery, I will always be grateful for that but I am taking my power back now. I am in control of my thoughts, feelings and actions. Me, not God. In my home group of AA I believe I am the only one who has access to some other kind of recovery as in SR. The others live and breathe AA. Good for them if it is working but it is not as black and white for me. I have been struggling with it for a while as you know .
I am going to the meeting today as I have service. I still have my sponsor at the moment I don't want to do a big fanfare of that's it I am done lol. The old me would have done that haha and u don't want to cut off my nose to spite my face. I do enjoy meetings now and then as at the end of the day it is a bunch of people who had problems with alcohol like me who are living sober or wanting sobriety so it can't all be bad. One thing that is not sitting that well at the minute is that I only ever got to step 5. Part of me does feel that it would be interesting to finish all the steps just to see if I have any great revelation. We'll see.
I feel Much more positive this morning. Like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I feel more open to praying to the Universe. I certainly do believe in a Power Greater than me. Many Powers I am sure lol. Ultimately though, I have control of my own life. What I do, where I go, what I say, how I act. Whether I pick up a drjnk or not is down to ME not God.
Wow, I am sorry if this is all a bit deep for a Monday morning haha.
Erratic congrats on your AF days. See, you are using a different method to get sober and so far so good!!
Life is for living and although I am sober I am not living. Today that changes.
Love to you all
Dee, I hope you are feeling better bet. I get so much from your responses to others and I always remember you saying you needed to build a life that you didn't want to escape from. I just love that and al going to start building that life today.
Ok, am getting up!!
Happy MHappy all.
Viper?
Red?
P.s Myself and Daisy are both in touch with Blusey and she is doing fantastically well ❤❤
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
There are many folks here who got sober and stayed sober without the belief help or aid of a HP or God, snitch.
I wan;t a believer when I quit but several things happened after that to make me a believer again...
To me its like God can move mountains. but I have to lend a hand and pick up a shovel too.
I don;t learn things by having things done for me. I learn by hard graft - but I still have faith and feel Gods grace tho.
I guess that sounds like an each way bet - but it makes sense to me
Pray don't pray, believe don't believe , have a sponsor a HP and go to meetings or not...
but do whatever it takes to keep you from drinking again., ok?
D
I wan;t a believer when I quit but several things happened after that to make me a believer again...
To me its like God can move mountains. but I have to lend a hand and pick up a shovel too.
I don;t learn things by having things done for me. I learn by hard graft - but I still have faith and feel Gods grace tho.
I guess that sounds like an each way bet - but it makes sense to me
Pray don't pray, believe don't believe , have a sponsor a HP and go to meetings or not...
but do whatever it takes to keep you from drinking again., ok?
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Hi again, I've had one of 'those' days myself. This morning I dropped the g.kiddo's off at school 08.45 and phoned the dental hospital about that appointment I had a reminder text for on Saturday but had no recollection of the lady confirmed that I was booked in for 11 so I drove to town and parked up for the day, walked to the train station and got the 9.30 train to Liverpool. Hadn't been on the train 5 minutes when we had to stop and after a short while it was announced that we were stuck behind a train that was stuck on the railway lines, 40 minutes we were sat there. Got to Liverpool just after 10.30, couldn't see any taxi's and didn't have time to even go looking so I legged it as fast as I could to the hospital, I looked like the 'wild woman of Borneo' by the time I got there with my red face and wild windswept hair. I made it with just minutes to spare, ran to the ladies, brushed my hair, brushed my teeth , then went to reception to be told that they had phoned and left a message on my landline saying that I didn't need to go today, the appointment was a mistake 
, I wasn't a happy bunny but so be it. I went to T.J Hughes, bought myself a cappuccino and then came home again. What a waste of a morning.
When I got home I phoned Hyundai about the speedometer in my car not working, they said as the car is no longer under warranty the best way round it is for me to phone the breakdown recovery people, tell them the speedo isn't working and that I'm scared to drive it and they will come out to me and take the car back to them to be fixed and then they will give me a replacement vehicle whilst the work is being done. So that's what I've got to look forward to tomorrow, just great.
I'm sorry you've been suffering with migraine Dee, they are horrible. I get ocular migraines, no pain, just strange kaleidescope patterns in front of my eyes, all turquoise in colour and making me feel dizzy and off balance. They make me feel very nauseous.
Gosh Suze, you have had an emotional roller coaster of a weekend and I don't think what your ex is saying helps, I just wish I could help you more.
Erratic, good night and sleep well.
xxxxxx
, I wasn't a happy bunny but so be it. I went to T.J Hughes, bought myself a cappuccino and then came home again. What a waste of a morning.When I got home I phoned Hyundai about the speedometer in my car not working, they said as the car is no longer under warranty the best way round it is for me to phone the breakdown recovery people, tell them the speedo isn't working and that I'm scared to drive it and they will come out to me and take the car back to them to be fixed and then they will give me a replacement vehicle whilst the work is being done. So that's what I've got to look forward to tomorrow, just great.
I'm sorry you've been suffering with migraine Dee, they are horrible. I get ocular migraines, no pain, just strange kaleidescope patterns in front of my eyes, all turquoise in colour and making me feel dizzy and off balance. They make me feel very nauseous.
Gosh Suze, you have had an emotional roller coaster of a weekend and I don't think what your ex is saying helps, I just wish I could help you more.
Erratic, good night and sleep well.
xxxxxx
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