Class of November 2019 Part 5
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Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 1,602
Originally Posted by soberbythesea 
Mexican wedding cookies:
I like your new year's resolutions. I'll have to consider mine. But sobriety and physical activity are two key ones. In fact, I'm just about to go for a 10K walk now...
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Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 748
Hello everyone. I've been drinking quite a lot over the past few days. I've been up an hour or so and have already had a lager but I'm going to limit myself to just a few today and then start again sober tomorrow. It's a big day tomorrow. I have to get it in my head that I'm stopping as a clear course of action. If I go to bed without the resolve I won't have full commitment to stopping. Also I want to declare it to people. If it's just telling myself I can always waver and let it slide until the next day and next and the next.
So anyway, that's where I am. I hope you're all doing okay. I can see pictures of puddings so I think things are good on here.
Best wishes.
So anyway, that's where I am. I hope you're all doing okay. I can see pictures of puddings so I think things are good on here.
Best wishes.
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Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 1,602
Well, Tap, just don't get yourself into any trouble! I'd have caused a right mess by now if I was on a bender. You seem more level headed.
Had an awesome walk and then drove up to my friend's place near Cambridge. I'm near you, Tap. We went for another walk by the lake with her dog Dave - I love that dog! In prime form I must say!
Congrats on 8 weeks SBTS!
Had an awesome walk and then drove up to my friend's place near Cambridge. I'm near you, Tap. We went for another walk by the lake with her dog Dave - I love that dog! In prime form I must say!
Congrats on 8 weeks SBTS!
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 3,597
Heading to gym for first time in a long time. I'm a pretty serious bicyclist, but I've sort of slacked off since July. I have a big riding event in July 2020, so time to get started again. Going to just do light cardio today. The weight has crept on.
Briansy, I love the running commentary. I'm pretty chatty myself, so I understand completely. As for the aunt or whatever, just ignore her. She sounds like one of those crazy people. I know one from South Africa who move to the US. She never misses an opportunity to say the wrong thing or put her foot in her mouth and she doesn't care. It's uncanny, really, the ability to be so charmingly offensive.
Love the doggie too. Outstanding achievement in the field of cuteness.
Briansy, I love the running commentary. I'm pretty chatty myself, so I understand completely. As for the aunt or whatever, just ignore her. She sounds like one of those crazy people. I know one from South Africa who move to the US. She never misses an opportunity to say the wrong thing or put her foot in her mouth and she doesn't care. It's uncanny, really, the ability to be so charmingly offensive.
Love the doggie too. Outstanding achievement in the field of cuteness.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,525
Just landed NYC. Disorienting losing those three hours. We left when it was just getting light in California and now it’s just dark here. So basically been on a plane all day. Did some good reading though.
Thanks for the congrats on 8 weeks everyone
Off to head home, say hi to my cat and find some dinner. Will be back tomorrow.
Thanks for the congrats on 8 weeks everyone
Off to head home, say hi to my cat and find some dinner. Will be back tomorrow.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Tap
I hope you decide to make the change today rather than tomorrow. If you've drunk already - today can still be your quit day.
the sooner it is the better you'll be for your big day.
D
I hope you decide to make the change today rather than tomorrow. If you've drunk already - today can still be your quit day.
the sooner it is the better you'll be for your big day.
D
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,525
Joy 70 days?? Amazing!!
Home now with bf. Cat was super happy to see us. Bf's asleep now, recovering from having been out late drinking with his friends last night. Since I was involved in no such antics and it's only 9 pm in California where we were for the past week, I'm not feeling that tired yet.
I've been spending a chunk of the evening reviewing my diaries for 2019 and preparing for how I will meet my three goals in 2020 (sobriety, walking 10K steps a day, and journaling every day.) The biggest stretch will be the walking goal. I was actually sober for most of 2019 and I journaled on about 40% of the days, so those two things I'm at least somewhat used to doing habitually. But I seriously got virtually no exercise all year. I maybe ran a few times and went to a few barre classes. If I could hit 10K steps each day all year in 2020 it would be a HUGE stride forward for me (no pun intended lol.) I'm fine if I don't lose any weight, I don't care so much about that, although it would be nice to lose maybe 5-10 pounds. I'm more focused on not feeling so unfit every time i climb the stairs in the subway.
I think I will commit to walking during my lunch hour at work. This way I don't have to add extra workout time to the beginning or end of my workday, which has always been a challenge for me.
OOTT good luck with your cycling. Getting back to the gym after a long absence is always tough.
Off to try and read awhile and get tired enough to go to sleep so I can get back on NY time. Will check back tomorrow.
Home now with bf. Cat was super happy to see us. Bf's asleep now, recovering from having been out late drinking with his friends last night. Since I was involved in no such antics and it's only 9 pm in California where we were for the past week, I'm not feeling that tired yet.
I've been spending a chunk of the evening reviewing my diaries for 2019 and preparing for how I will meet my three goals in 2020 (sobriety, walking 10K steps a day, and journaling every day.) The biggest stretch will be the walking goal. I was actually sober for most of 2019 and I journaled on about 40% of the days, so those two things I'm at least somewhat used to doing habitually. But I seriously got virtually no exercise all year. I maybe ran a few times and went to a few barre classes. If I could hit 10K steps each day all year in 2020 it would be a HUGE stride forward for me (no pun intended lol.) I'm fine if I don't lose any weight, I don't care so much about that, although it would be nice to lose maybe 5-10 pounds. I'm more focused on not feeling so unfit every time i climb the stairs in the subway.
I think I will commit to walking during my lunch hour at work. This way I don't have to add extra workout time to the beginning or end of my workday, which has always been a challenge for me.
OOTT good luck with your cycling. Getting back to the gym after a long absence is always tough.
Off to try and read awhile and get tired enough to go to sleep so I can get back on NY time. Will check back tomorrow.
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Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 1,602
Hello all, I'm in bed with Dave the dog happy as Larry. We're gonna go for a nice long walk around the lake. Had a lovely meal last night. Goats cheese salad with beatroot, lamb with duck fat potatoes and chocolate delice. Day 30 woohoo.
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: LI, NY
Posts: 982
SBTS, congrats on 8+ weeks! Your baking looks incredible. Also, I really like the idea of writing in a journal everyday and focusing on specific goals.
Briansy, that's some incredible scenery to hike by. Maybe I'll take a seal walk today on the beach.
Tap, today is day one and we are all with you! I remember you posting about how easy it was earlier in the month, you got this.
Day 49 for me. I'm thinking of buying a sober treat like a caramel macchiato or a 75 inch tv, that's what I'm talking about lol. I'm up early watching the Clemson vs. Ohio St. game, don't tell me who won haha. New Year's Eve we're going out do dinner with three other couples and then coming back to our house for the ball drop. They'll be six girls at our house ages 12-14 hanging out too. Should be a fun night and definitely an alcohol free one for me.
As Ringo Starr said, peace and love to all.
Briansy, that's some incredible scenery to hike by. Maybe I'll take a seal walk today on the beach.
Tap, today is day one and we are all with you! I remember you posting about how easy it was earlier in the month, you got this.
Day 49 for me. I'm thinking of buying a sober treat like a caramel macchiato or a 75 inch tv, that's what I'm talking about lol. I'm up early watching the Clemson vs. Ohio St. game, don't tell me who won haha. New Year's Eve we're going out do dinner with three other couples and then coming back to our house for the ball drop. They'll be six girls at our house ages 12-14 hanging out too. Should be a fun night and definitely an alcohol free one for me.
As Ringo Starr said, peace and love to all.
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Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Hi everyone, I just wanted to check in and say hello, and sorry I fell off the face of the earth there for a while..... I’ve just spent the last couple of hours catching up on everyone’s posts. You guys are great ❤️
It’s been a really crazy month, way too much stuff going on to talk about it all and I’m sad to say I didn’t manage to get through it alcohol-free. Ugggh.
The house filled up with alcohol and drunk people for weeks. My family drink a lot. They’re all gone now, but there’s still a heap of wine, beer and spirits here. It’s mostly my partner’s and there was some left behind by other people but I got rid of everything I could yesterday. He has another party planned for next weekend here.
I’m just so over it. It’s so hard staying sober around so much drinking going on here at home. Last Christmas we were away so I think it was easier. Drinking isn’t worth it, but I’m really struggling to stay sober here in this alcohol saturated environment
But I have somehow done it before and I’m going to do it again.
I don’t want to leave, but sometimes I just want to run away. I’m finding it so hard not drinking when it’s all around me at home and it feels like there’s nowhere to escape it. I’m hoping that this New Year will reduce the amount of drinking here so there’s less temptation around me. I can stay away from social gatherings elsewhere, but it’s hard to completely stay away from home...
It’s been a really crazy month, way too much stuff going on to talk about it all and I’m sad to say I didn’t manage to get through it alcohol-free. Ugggh.
The house filled up with alcohol and drunk people for weeks. My family drink a lot. They’re all gone now, but there’s still a heap of wine, beer and spirits here. It’s mostly my partner’s and there was some left behind by other people but I got rid of everything I could yesterday. He has another party planned for next weekend here.
I’m just so over it. It’s so hard staying sober around so much drinking going on here at home. Last Christmas we were away so I think it was easier. Drinking isn’t worth it, but I’m really struggling to stay sober here in this alcohol saturated environment
But I have somehow done it before and I’m going to do it again.
I don’t want to leave, but sometimes I just want to run away. I’m finding it so hard not drinking when it’s all around me at home and it feels like there’s nowhere to escape it. I’m hoping that this New Year will reduce the amount of drinking here so there’s less temptation around me. I can stay away from social gatherings elsewhere, but it’s hard to completely stay away from home...
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Hey willow
I had to get past the idea that simply because alcohol was there and available I had no choice but to drink it.
Everything in my history proved I was not a good drinker. Regardless of what others do, alcohol bought me to my knees.
I spent years trying to escape my life. Once I got sober I wondered what I found so intolerable, My life was pretty good, I was not under undue stress and I never had to worry about going without most of the comforts of life.
Maybe I was trying to outrun myself?
I had a very deep and basic insecurity, I felt incredibly uncomfortable in my own company. I felt unworthy, unloveable. I felt like I was a fraud just waiting to be exposed.
Sobriety gave me the chance to unpack all that and deal with it. It didn't happen over night - it was a long process but I'm glad I did it.
I have nothing to run from anymore.
I remember when you were connecting your non drinking very strongly to what your mum would want for you...maybe it's worth thinking about things from that angle again?
D
I had to get past the idea that simply because alcohol was there and available I had no choice but to drink it.
Everything in my history proved I was not a good drinker. Regardless of what others do, alcohol bought me to my knees.
I spent years trying to escape my life. Once I got sober I wondered what I found so intolerable, My life was pretty good, I was not under undue stress and I never had to worry about going without most of the comforts of life.
Maybe I was trying to outrun myself?
I had a very deep and basic insecurity, I felt incredibly uncomfortable in my own company. I felt unworthy, unloveable. I felt like I was a fraud just waiting to be exposed.
Sobriety gave me the chance to unpack all that and deal with it. It didn't happen over night - it was a long process but I'm glad I did it.
I have nothing to run from anymore.
I remember when you were connecting your non drinking very strongly to what your mum would want for you...maybe it's worth thinking about things from that angle again?
D
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Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Thanks Dee 
I cried when I read your post, it really resonates with me. I dreamed about Mum a couple of nights ago. She didn’t say anything, just put her arms around me and gave me a hug. I miss her so much. Maybe she just knew I really needed her in that moment.
What you said about trying to outrun yourself, that’s exactly what I think I have been doing all my life. Even in success or achievements I’ve thought that I was faking it or fluking it, that I was an imposter, and it wasn’t really me that did well, that someone would find out I was a fake, not really worthy of success or achievement, or that they’d realise they’d made a mistake and it was meant for someone else.
As long as I can remember I’ve been running away from something, someone, the hard stuff, anything and everything, but it wasn’t all that bad, my life wasn’t horrible, and maybe it’s just been me that I’ve been running away from all along. My feelings of not being worthy of love, or attention, or achievement, or success, or anything. So I just ran away. Or hid in a bottle of wine. Or both. But I’m always still here, and not feeling any better about anything.
But I never ever doubted my Mum’s love, it was always the one constant in my life, and still is. I know she’s still up there somewhere, still loving me, and hoping and praying for me to look after myself.
So I really need a new plan. And I don’t think I can do it on my own, even with the amazing support of SR. I’m not sure exactly what my new plan is but I think I need to sort through the feelings of being unworthy. I know where and who they started, from when I was 5 or 6 years old, so that’s a start, at least.
Plus I will stock up on nonalcoholic drinks for the weekend. My partner has planned another boozy party this weekend but I don’t want to drink anymore.
I’m going to have to stay close to SR.
I cried when I read your post, it really resonates with me. I dreamed about Mum a couple of nights ago. She didn’t say anything, just put her arms around me and gave me a hug. I miss her so much. Maybe she just knew I really needed her in that moment.
What you said about trying to outrun yourself, that’s exactly what I think I have been doing all my life. Even in success or achievements I’ve thought that I was faking it or fluking it, that I was an imposter, and it wasn’t really me that did well, that someone would find out I was a fake, not really worthy of success or achievement, or that they’d realise they’d made a mistake and it was meant for someone else.
As long as I can remember I’ve been running away from something, someone, the hard stuff, anything and everything, but it wasn’t all that bad, my life wasn’t horrible, and maybe it’s just been me that I’ve been running away from all along. My feelings of not being worthy of love, or attention, or achievement, or success, or anything. So I just ran away. Or hid in a bottle of wine. Or both. But I’m always still here, and not feeling any better about anything.
But I never ever doubted my Mum’s love, it was always the one constant in my life, and still is. I know she’s still up there somewhere, still loving me, and hoping and praying for me to look after myself.
So I really need a new plan. And I don’t think I can do it on my own, even with the amazing support of SR. I’m not sure exactly what my new plan is but I think I need to sort through the feelings of being unworthy. I know where and who they started, from when I was 5 or 6 years old, so that’s a start, at least.
Plus I will stock up on nonalcoholic drinks for the weekend. My partner has planned another boozy party this weekend but I don’t want to drink anymore.
I’m going to have to stay close to SR.
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