Class of April 2018 Part 12
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Hi, just checking in quick.
Snitch, the Ex has got to be put in his place!
I had the MRI today. Blah blah.
This is my last night at my sister’s place. My nephew has decided he’s having some strumpet 😂 over tomorrow night. Whatever. At least it was 5 nights away from my parents for free.
Just being out of my parent’s place has an impact. It’s super clean and fresh in this house, which probably helps with my mold and dust issues. And with no one here there’s no toxic energy dragging me down. I feel ready to make changes after a just few nights. I need to keep that in mind.
I thought I was a tough-guy, but that MRI beat me up today. It was really long and they had my arm all the way up, outstretched. After a bit my shoulder was killing me. I mean it was brutal. I just put myself in a trance and kept denying the pain. It was a full hour, but seemed like 5 minutes so I must have checked out mentally despite the noise. I guess I am pretty tough, but when they got me out I was toasted. That thumb joint is very complex and needs a lot of scans.
Ok I’m going to sleep peeps.
laters
Viper 🐍
Snitch, the Ex has got to be put in his place!
I had the MRI today. Blah blah.
This is my last night at my sister’s place. My nephew has decided he’s having some strumpet 😂 over tomorrow night. Whatever. At least it was 5 nights away from my parents for free.
Just being out of my parent’s place has an impact. It’s super clean and fresh in this house, which probably helps with my mold and dust issues. And with no one here there’s no toxic energy dragging me down. I feel ready to make changes after a just few nights. I need to keep that in mind.
I thought I was a tough-guy, but that MRI beat me up today. It was really long and they had my arm all the way up, outstretched. After a bit my shoulder was killing me. I mean it was brutal. I just put myself in a trance and kept denying the pain. It was a full hour, but seemed like 5 minutes so I must have checked out mentally despite the noise. I guess I am pretty tough, but when they got me out I was toasted. That thumb joint is very complex and needs a lot of scans.
Ok I’m going to sleep peeps.
laters
Viper 🐍
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Morning people.
I am full of self pity, bewilderment and anger right now. This thing with my ex is really bothering me. I am just so bloody angry right now that after all the stuff he has done to me he had the audacity to (try to) use me to ease his boredom and loneliness. The absolute cheek of him. Ahhhhh!
However.... I know what I have to do . I need to pray for him. He is spiritually sick. I need to ask my HP to save me from being resentful and to show him tolerance, compassion and patience. What I struggle with is this. When I use the sick man prayer I find it does free me. Which is great as I do not want him livng rent free in my head! The problem is when I become forgiving I tend to let my barriers down. I think ahhh it's ok we can be friends (fantasy world). So I need to find that balance where I can be forgiving and have patience, compassion and tolerance whilst keeping my boundaries firm. Thanks Dee for your post. Boundaries are a real necessity. I tend to learn the hard way lol.
Vipe you do make me laugh. The trouble with my ex is no matter if I hit him in the face with proof of how he treats me he would always manage to turn it around and blame me. It is difficult to deal with someone who doesnt have a programme of recovery lol. I just have to keep doing the right thing for me.
Thanks guys I won't go on about him anymore. I am keeping that one well and truly at a distance. I dont want to talk to him, see him, especially not invite him into my home unless it is a real necessity or emergency. He is nothing to me except my daughter's father and I will do my best to never put him down or talk about him in a derogatory fashion to her. She comes first.
So, how is everyone else doing?
It's a wet windy day here. I have just dropped my daughter to school and I have come back to bed. I don't know why but I didn't sleep that well last night. I have a million and one things to do, as usual, but for now I am going back to sleep.
THANK GOD I am not drinking today ☺️☺️☺️
I am full of self pity, bewilderment and anger right now. This thing with my ex is really bothering me. I am just so bloody angry right now that after all the stuff he has done to me he had the audacity to (try to) use me to ease his boredom and loneliness. The absolute cheek of him. Ahhhhh!
However.... I know what I have to do . I need to pray for him. He is spiritually sick. I need to ask my HP to save me from being resentful and to show him tolerance, compassion and patience. What I struggle with is this. When I use the sick man prayer I find it does free me. Which is great as I do not want him livng rent free in my head! The problem is when I become forgiving I tend to let my barriers down. I think ahhh it's ok we can be friends (fantasy world). So I need to find that balance where I can be forgiving and have patience, compassion and tolerance whilst keeping my boundaries firm. Thanks Dee for your post. Boundaries are a real necessity. I tend to learn the hard way lol.
Vipe you do make me laugh. The trouble with my ex is no matter if I hit him in the face with proof of how he treats me he would always manage to turn it around and blame me. It is difficult to deal with someone who doesnt have a programme of recovery lol. I just have to keep doing the right thing for me.
Thanks guys I won't go on about him anymore. I am keeping that one well and truly at a distance. I dont want to talk to him, see him, especially not invite him into my home unless it is a real necessity or emergency. He is nothing to me except my daughter's father and I will do my best to never put him down or talk about him in a derogatory fashion to her. She comes first.
So, how is everyone else doing?
It's a wet windy day here. I have just dropped my daughter to school and I have come back to bed. I don't know why but I didn't sleep that well last night. I have a million and one things to do, as usual, but for now I am going back to sleep.
THANK GOD I am not drinking today ☺️☺️☺️
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 752
Hey everyone!!
Haven’t posted in a couple days because I’ve been struggling I’m still sober not sure many days I know it’s over 30... gave my permission to drink the other day and open the bottle and just looked at it. I couldn’t get myself to drink it my mind goes say F it and my heart was saying no so I dumped it out and went to sleep. Well today waking up I’m in another mood to drink I tired of fighting but not waiting to give up... I can’t never take the extra step in sobriety and that’s making a recovery plan and sticking with it ... I always fall back into old habits and thinking nothing will ever change with me. I’m trying hard but I’m 100% sure the medication she put me on is having the opposite effect it’s hard to focus and I’m only sleeping 2 hours a night on top of that getting sick so my feelings and thinking is all screwed up!!
Sry for down post hopefully your okay today
Haven’t posted in a couple days because I’ve been struggling I’m still sober not sure many days I know it’s over 30... gave my permission to drink the other day and open the bottle and just looked at it. I couldn’t get myself to drink it my mind goes say F it and my heart was saying no so I dumped it out and went to sleep. Well today waking up I’m in another mood to drink I tired of fighting but not waiting to give up... I can’t never take the extra step in sobriety and that’s making a recovery plan and sticking with it ... I always fall back into old habits and thinking nothing will ever change with me. I’m trying hard but I’m 100% sure the medication she put me on is having the opposite effect it’s hard to focus and I’m only sleeping 2 hours a night on top of that getting sick so my feelings and thinking is all screwed up!!
Sry for down post hopefully your okay today
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Originally Posted by xxxNICHOLExxx 
Hey everyone!!
Haven’t posted in a couple days because I’ve been struggling I’m still sober not sure many days I know it’s over 30... gave my permission to drink the other day and open the bottle and just looked at it. I couldn’t get myself to drink it my mind goes say F it and my heart was saying no so I dumped it out and went to sleep. Well today waking up I’m in another mood to drink I tired of fighting but not waiting to give up... I can’t never take the extra step in sobriety and that’s making a recovery plan and sticking with it ... I always fall back into old habits and thinking nothing will ever change with me. I’m trying hard but I’m 100% sure the medication she put me on is having the opposite effect it’s hard to focus and I’m only sleeping 2 hours a night on top of that getting sick so my feelings and thinking is all screwed up!!
Sry for down post hopefully your okay today
Haven’t posted in a couple days because I’ve been struggling I’m still sober not sure many days I know it’s over 30... gave my permission to drink the other day and open the bottle and just looked at it. I couldn’t get myself to drink it my mind goes say F it and my heart was saying no so I dumped it out and went to sleep. Well today waking up I’m in another mood to drink I tired of fighting but not waiting to give up... I can’t never take the extra step in sobriety and that’s making a recovery plan and sticking with it ... I always fall back into old habits and thinking nothing will ever change with me. I’m trying hard but I’m 100% sure the medication she put me on is having the opposite effect it’s hard to focus and I’m only sleeping 2 hours a night on top of that getting sick so my feelings and thinking is all screwed up!!
Sry for down post hopefully your okay today
When you are struggling is when you need to post the most!! It has taken me a while to learn that myself Haha so I can save you from learning the painful way. I know 100% even without consulting them that all the others here will agree with me when I say post whatever you like. This is a support group and we are here to support you. Even if we dont have answers or experience even just writing your thoughts out here helps. Lool at my previous posts! Don't stay alone inside your head.
Unfortunately it is pretty much a fight in the beginning. Your brain is sceaming out for it's life force. Or what it believes is its life force. Every time you say no to it it gets weaker but in my experience it continue for a while and still pops up now and then but is getting much weaker as I get stronger.
For me, a recovery plan is vital. I am not one of those alcoholics who can just put down the drink and everything is all tickety boo. I did not know how to deal with life sober. Or with my thoughts, feelings and emotions sober. Alcohol was my solution to those things. Until it wasn't . AA has been my saving Grace. It is giving me the tools I need to deal with all the above without having to drink and the harder I work, the more effort I put into my recovery, the more King Alcohol's grip on me lessens.
Please don't give up. It is a fight and it is a fight for your life but I swear it does get easier. You have come so far. Take it one day at a time. Play the tape forward!! keep in the forefront of your mind that one little drink is the single cause of all your misery. POST HERE! keep sharing your thoughts and feelings. Stay close to SR. Try and read as much about alcoholism as you can. Have you looked at the different sub forums here. Take a look at the 12 step support one. They have some great daily readings. There is also a gratitude thread. Gratitude plays a big part in my recovery. Perhaps you could post a few things you are grateful for because you are not drinking before you go to bed at night. Order a copy or download a copy of the Big Book of AA. I am not trying to convert you lol but maybe reading it may help you to identify.
Most importantly do NOT give up. Your life is worth fighting for !!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Re the medication. I have no experience with this sort of medication. Please do not quit taking it off your own back. If you don't feel right on it for whatever reason please go back and discuss ot worh your doctor. Just be honest. That's all you to have to do.
Xx
Xx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Originally Posted by Erratic
just a quick check in to say hi x
hope u have a good day all will be thinking of you all x
hope to see u all later as im sure things will go ok at surgery so see u soon x
hope u have a good day all will be thinking of you all x
hope to see u all later as im sure things will go ok at surgery so see u soon x
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Good afternoon Aprils
Just a very quick hello as I've got to go out in a few minutes and I don't have time to respond to all your posts, though I have read them. I will write more later.
Glad you had the MRI Viper, hope you don't have to wait too long for the results.
Suze, stay calm, your ex isn't worth getting stressed over, you will get past this.
Erratic, my thoughts and prayers are with you today. I hope all goes well.
Nichole, you're doing well, stay strong, your're stronger than you know. You've go this.
Glad you're ok Dee.
Back later, have a great Friday.
Love always xxx
Just a very quick hello as I've got to go out in a few minutes and I don't have time to respond to all your posts, though I have read them. I will write more later.
Glad you had the MRI Viper, hope you don't have to wait too long for the results.
Suze, stay calm, your ex isn't worth getting stressed over, you will get past this.
Erratic, my thoughts and prayers are with you today. I hope all goes well.
Nichole, you're doing well, stay strong, your're stronger than you know. You've go this.
Glad you're ok Dee.
Back later, have a great Friday.
Love always xxx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Hi all, I hope all is well.
Been thinking about you Erratic, I hope your op was a success and I hope you make a speedy recovery. I shall look forward to seeing you soon and in the meanwhile don't do too much, in fact don't do anything unless you really have to.
Viper, I just love that word 'strumpet' it speaks volumes, trollop is another one I particularly like too. I hope you've recovered now from your M.R.I.
Suze, your ex really sounds as though he has a few Narcissistic traits, he really does. He's what they call 'hoovering', he's not interested when other things are going on in his life, but once things are not going so well, or he's feeling neglected and/or lonely, he tries to hoover you back in. Stick to your boundaries and keep saying those prayers.
Nichole, it's still early days and you will have times when you struggle, I still do but not very often now, you just have to remember that it's just for today, today is all you need to focus on. You've got a good month being sober now and that is epic. If you feel that your medication is not having the effect it is supposed to have, go back and see your doctor again, your dosage may just want tweeking, go and get it sorted, 2 hours sleep per night is not enough for anyone, no wonder you're feeling screwed up. You can do this, we know you can.
Been thinking about you Erratic, I hope your op was a success and I hope you make a speedy recovery. I shall look forward to seeing you soon and in the meanwhile don't do too much, in fact don't do anything unless you really have to.
Viper, I just love that word 'strumpet' it speaks volumes, trollop is another one I particularly like too. I hope you've recovered now from your M.R.I.
Suze, your ex really sounds as though he has a few Narcissistic traits, he really does. He's what they call 'hoovering', he's not interested when other things are going on in his life, but once things are not going so well, or he's feeling neglected and/or lonely, he tries to hoover you back in. Stick to your boundaries and keep saying those prayers.
Nichole, it's still early days and you will have times when you struggle, I still do but not very often now, you just have to remember that it's just for today, today is all you need to focus on. You've got a good month being sober now and that is epic. If you feel that your medication is not having the effect it is supposed to have, go back and see your doctor again, your dosage may just want tweeking, go and get it sorted, 2 hours sleep per night is not enough for anyone, no wonder you're feeling screwed up. You can do this, we know you can.
Say cheese!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
morn guys x
all is fine and i was first down for surgery yesterday morn so was down there by 9 and back to ward by 11-30 totally alert and up and went to toilet and no pain at all. daughter said just wait until meds wear off lol i said they have and i have no pain at all in fact my periods are more painful than a little discomfort which isnt really pain at all lol got total bit full nose and chest which i have to blow every 5 mins lol. nurse and brian has told me to slow down so i know also i better not over do it or i will pull the stitches lol i ended up with 4 holes and good news is they kept my ovaries which yay i stay in pre menopause state lol
so anyway there is the update x and thanks for all your wishes x
i will try to respond to all of you as same as daisy i have read all of your posts and am thinking of you all x dont want to look like i am being selfish about speaking about myself only which as u all know me by now is i find it hard to respond a decent reply xxxx
hugs to all xx
all is fine and i was first down for surgery yesterday morn so was down there by 9 and back to ward by 11-30 totally alert and up and went to toilet and no pain at all. daughter said just wait until meds wear off lol i said they have and i have no pain at all in fact my periods are more painful than a little discomfort which isnt really pain at all lol got total bit full nose and chest which i have to blow every 5 mins lol. nurse and brian has told me to slow down so i know also i better not over do it or i will pull the stitches lol i ended up with 4 holes and good news is they kept my ovaries which yay i stay in pre menopause state lol
so anyway there is the update x and thanks for all your wishes x
i will try to respond to all of you as same as daisy i have read all of your posts and am thinking of you all x dont want to look like i am being selfish about speaking about myself only which as u all know me by now is i find it hard to respond a decent reply xxxx
hugs to all xx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Hi all, I hope you're all happy, well and sober of course. I'm having a riveting Saturday night sat here in my p.j's at 8.30 and alternating between painting pebbles and posting. Actually I'm quite happy to do just that. Grandson was running for his school this morning in a cross country race, I'm so proud of him, he came 19th out of 122 and was the first boy in his school, got to remember that though he's nearly 10 he's the size of an average 6 year old, but my goodness he's rapid. My dad used to be a marathon runner and he would be so proud of him. Coincidentally, my dad is buried in the Crematorium directly across the road from where the run took place, I felt that he was watching over my g.son.
Erratic
I'm so glad you're okay and the op went well, good news that you got to keep your ovaries. Yes and do as you're told and take it easy, as per Brian and the nurse.
You are certainly not selfish, you've just had the stress of an op and I for one don't expect you to be up to posting much anyway and I have no doubts that the others will feel the same. As long as you are healing and concentrating on getting yourself right, just a wave will suffice so stop worrying.
I hope all is okay with you too Nichole. xx
I'm off now to catch up on my other threads.
Love always. xx
Erratic
I'm so glad you're okay and the op went well, good news that you got to keep your ovaries. Yes and do as you're told and take it easy, as per Brian and the nurse.You are certainly not selfish, you've just had the stress of an op and I for one don't expect you to be up to posting much anyway and I have no doubts that the others will feel the same. As long as you are healing and concentrating on getting yourself right, just a wave will suffice so stop worrying.
I hope all is okay with you too Nichole. xx
I'm off now to catch up on my other threads.
Love always. xx
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Nichole I’m so happy and proud that you dumped that bottle!!!
MRI: The doctor called last night. Everything should be fine, but it’s going to take time. All of the ligaments, and tendons and such are just fine. They found a lot of bruising on the bone. It’s evident that it was very seriously bruised and we can see the aftermath. There are tons of micro-fractures. So it’s still mending. I don’t think it will be soon, but I’d say another few months. If I use it I open up the fractures more. So yeah...
V🐍
MRI: The doctor called last night. Everything should be fine, but it’s going to take time. All of the ligaments, and tendons and such are just fine. They found a lot of bruising on the bone. It’s evident that it was very seriously bruised and we can see the aftermath. There are tons of micro-fractures. So it’s still mending. I don’t think it will be soon, but I’d say another few months. If I use it I open up the fractures more. So yeah...
V🐍
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Morning everyone
It's a grey, wet day here. Perfect sunday indoor chilling out weather.
Erratic I am so pleased to hear the surgery went well. Make sure you get plenty of rest!!
Pleased also to hear that your thumb isn't too badly damaged Viper. Just a few months and you can get back on your bike again ☺️
Thanks Daisy. I had never heard of the term hoovering before. I dont actually think my ex is a narcissist. Not that I have much experience with narcissism (even though I am one according to him lol) but he definitely seems to think he I am there when he picks and chooses for me to be there and I guess in some way I allowed that to happen. I think he is starting to get the message now. I put him on my step 4 and did inventory and oh boy I can't tell you how much it helps! I feel a weight lifted and my boundaries are stronger today for it.
it was lovely to read about your grandson. What a super achievement!!! Bless his heart.
Nichole, how are you doing?
We went swimming after school on friday, yesterday Seren had a birthday party and then we went to friends yesterday afternoon/evening. It's been nice. I am glad drama is not part of my life anymore. I love going to bed sober and waking hangover free. It's simple.
We are just gonna chill out today, gonna make hs a roast dinner mmmmm.
Have a nice sunday whatever you are up to.
It's a grey, wet day here. Perfect sunday indoor chilling out weather.
Erratic I am so pleased to hear the surgery went well. Make sure you get plenty of rest!!
Pleased also to hear that your thumb isn't too badly damaged Viper. Just a few months and you can get back on your bike again ☺️
Thanks Daisy. I had never heard of the term hoovering before. I dont actually think my ex is a narcissist. Not that I have much experience with narcissism (even though I am one according to him lol) but he definitely seems to think he I am there when he picks and chooses for me to be there and I guess in some way I allowed that to happen. I think he is starting to get the message now. I put him on my step 4 and did inventory and oh boy I can't tell you how much it helps! I feel a weight lifted and my boundaries are stronger today for it.
it was lovely to read about your grandson. What a super achievement!!! Bless his heart.
Nichole, how are you doing?
We went swimming after school on friday, yesterday Seren had a birthday party and then we went to friends yesterday afternoon/evening. It's been nice. I am glad drama is not part of my life anymore. I love going to bed sober and waking hangover free. It's simple.
We are just gonna chill out today, gonna make hs a roast dinner mmmmm.
Have a nice sunday whatever you are up to.
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