Class of April 2018 Part 12
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Originally Posted by xxxNICHOLExxx 
Just wanted to say I’m thinking of you all!!!!
Super nervous about going to the doctors because I’m going to be honest with her how my mood is always changing my anxiety and panic is not the best but I know I should mention the drinking then not drinking now and everything else in between.... I usually get nervous and say everything is fine just so I can leave not this time!!!!
Enjoy your day do something for yourself today y’all deserve it
Super nervous about going to the doctors because I’m going to be honest with her how my mood is always changing my anxiety and panic is not the best but I know I should mention the drinking then not drinking now and everything else in between.... I usually get nervous and say everything is fine just so I can leave not this time!!!!
Enjoy your day do something for yourself today y’all deserve it
You are doing something for yourself today you are fighting for a better life. So blooming proud of you!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Good afternoon Aprils and it's a cold one, I can't get warm. I've been helping out in school this morning, listening to readers, I love it. I've recently started going in again on a weekly basis after my son stopping me from going in early last year but as his child lives with me 90% of the time I don't think he would get away with it again but we'll see.
Thanks Suze, all is good with me, the grand kiddo's are all fine and doing well. I could tell you a story about my son every day but I won't, I only vent when he's mega stressed me out. Its all quiet on the western front this week but that's usually the calm before the storm. My g.son's mummy is coming over the England this weekend, he hasn't seen her since May and because I am on good terms with her my son can't stand it and usually creates some kind of a drama over nothing. I'll just take it as it comes.
I think I've got one of those holes in my soul too, especially where eating and spending is concerned. I need to get a grip.
Good luck at the doctor's Nichole, I'm really pleased you're going and I hope you are completely honest with him/her. The more help you can get the better. You're doing so well. xx
I love that slogan Dee and it's very true. It costs nothing to be kind.
I hope you check in soon Erratic, missing you. xx
Love always
Mxx
Thanks Suze, all is good with me, the grand kiddo's are all fine and doing well. I could tell you a story about my son every day but I won't, I only vent when he's mega stressed me out. Its all quiet on the western front this week but that's usually the calm before the storm. My g.son's mummy is coming over the England this weekend, he hasn't seen her since May and because I am on good terms with her my son can't stand it and usually creates some kind of a drama over nothing. I'll just take it as it comes.
I think I've got one of those holes in my soul too, especially where eating and spending is concerned. I need to get a grip.
Good luck at the doctor's Nichole, I'm really pleased you're going and I hope you are completely honest with him/her. The more help you can get the better. You're doing so well. xx
I love that slogan Dee and it's very true. It costs nothing to be kind.
I hope you check in soon Erratic, missing you. xx
Love always
Mxx
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 752
Nothing like a hard pill to swallow!!! I went to my doctors and was completely honest with her and she ended up putting me on medication for my bipolar. I’ve been having a hard time with things but trying to suck it up and ignore the problem instead of taking care of it. She advised me that I really need to be taking my medication and trying to get better. She also advised me I should never drink again which I already told her I have in 24 days but the old me would of said screw you I'm not taking the medication I will just drink, but reality has hit me over these last few weeks growing up and admitting my flaws and mistakes and trying to do better.... so I’m going to take the medication and try my hardest every day not do drink or any drugs at that... which luckily I’ve already had a head start before my appointment or the appointment would have went different. I really do think I can do this just some days are really hard so hopefully the meds kick in and my anxiety/ panic meds do help with cravings and the other helps with stabilizing my mood I hope it works!!!!
Thank y’all for always being there and support
Thank y’all for always being there and support
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Nichole this is super to read ❤❤
I am so glad you went to see your doctor and was completely honest with her. Go you!
I do not know much about bi polar and I am no doctor but I believe I can safely say that if a doctor has prescribed medication to you for a condition you have then you should be taking it to be well. However, you wouldn't be the first alcoholic to stop taking medication because you think you know best (lol). I hear it alot in meetings and I have done it myself! I decided to come off my anti depressants and just stopped taking them and felt suicidal within days! Crazy.
Try to remember to keep things in the day. Yesterday is History, tomorrow is a Mystery, all we have is the Present!
I still struggle with but am making more of an effort to be in this day only and just for today I have no real problems. I have a roof over my head, food in my cupboard, my daughter is safe, I haven't hurt anyone or anything today, my bill's are up to date and I am about to go to sleep in a warm comfy bed SOBER!
You are doing really well. Stay close and keep posting. If you feel the obsession to drink creeping in just get yourself straight on here and post about it. The thoughts will come but it is what you do with those thoughts that matter.
Hey everyone else.
I am ok. I was feeling a bit restless, irritable and discontent earlier. The sober condition of alcoholism. But I had a long chat with my (ex) sponsor tonight (she is a pretty amazing person to be fair) and my daughter has been really loving and good this evening. So I am going to go to bed a happy bunny.
Night all sleep well
X x
I am so glad you went to see your doctor and was completely honest with her. Go you!
I do not know much about bi polar and I am no doctor but I believe I can safely say that if a doctor has prescribed medication to you for a condition you have then you should be taking it to be well. However, you wouldn't be the first alcoholic to stop taking medication because you think you know best (lol). I hear it alot in meetings and I have done it myself! I decided to come off my anti depressants and just stopped taking them and felt suicidal within days! Crazy.
Try to remember to keep things in the day. Yesterday is History, tomorrow is a Mystery, all we have is the Present!
I still struggle with but am making more of an effort to be in this day only and just for today I have no real problems. I have a roof over my head, food in my cupboard, my daughter is safe, I haven't hurt anyone or anything today, my bill's are up to date and I am about to go to sleep in a warm comfy bed SOBER!
You are doing really well. Stay close and keep posting. If you feel the obsession to drink creeping in just get yourself straight on here and post about it. The thoughts will come but it is what you do with those thoughts that matter.
Hey everyone else.
I am ok. I was feeling a bit restless, irritable and discontent earlier. The sober condition of alcoholism. But I had a long chat with my (ex) sponsor tonight (she is a pretty amazing person to be fair) and my daughter has been really loving and good this evening. So I am going to go to bed a happy bunny.
Night all sleep well
X x
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Nichole, growing up is a big deal. I’ve done a lot of it this year. 24 days is excellent!!! You’re past the worst. You’ll have the tar beaten out of you dealing with reality as a sober person, but we all need to see reality and deal with it, instead of hiding in a bottle. 💙💚💛🧡💜
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Speaking of getting the tar beaten out if you. Ugghhhh,
So I’ve had an ok day. I picked up the new absurd iPhone at an Apple Store in Massachusetts 🙄. My phone battery was draining really bad and there were some glitches, so instead of dealing with it and doing a factory restore and all the other stuff needed to maybe fix it, I got this thing. I’m already hooked on the damn phones. I should have down graded to an old dumb phone. Anyway too late, iPhone for Life Member, gave them my iPhone and they gave this. It’s expensive as hell, but I’ve got to say, Apple products are soooo nice. I pay monthly forever... 😂.
The car is really good. It’s running and driving great. Just that last frame piece and I’m done. On its way.
I had my thumb examined by the surgeon again today. He was hoping it would have improved. It’s in pain. He’s ordered an MRI. If everything looks good and intact, he thinks physical therapy to rebuild it is the answer. MRI should be within a week. The thing is that joint has become very stiff, and all the joints in that hand are stiff, from disuse. That physical therapy is going to hurt like all heck. I mean if I go squeeze a motorcycle clutch it’s excruciating. I guess they start off slow.
My sister is rampaging on my parents again. 😰Remember this spring when she went nuts around here trying to control everything? She’s back it at. It really stressed the s**t out of me last time. This is going to suck. I live under my parents roof and my father helps me sneeze she expects me to be her spy. She just texted wanting information. No reply.
I’m really thinking about the steps to get out of this hole I’m in. Feeling good and being healthy is #1. Then I can do anything. I’m very worried about my future.
ok laters on folks
VIPER 🐍🔥
So I’ve had an ok day. I picked up the new absurd iPhone at an Apple Store in Massachusetts 🙄. My phone battery was draining really bad and there were some glitches, so instead of dealing with it and doing a factory restore and all the other stuff needed to maybe fix it, I got this thing. I’m already hooked on the damn phones. I should have down graded to an old dumb phone. Anyway too late, iPhone for Life Member, gave them my iPhone and they gave this. It’s expensive as hell, but I’ve got to say, Apple products are soooo nice. I pay monthly forever... 😂.
The car is really good. It’s running and driving great. Just that last frame piece and I’m done. On its way.
I had my thumb examined by the surgeon again today. He was hoping it would have improved. It’s in pain. He’s ordered an MRI. If everything looks good and intact, he thinks physical therapy to rebuild it is the answer. MRI should be within a week. The thing is that joint has become very stiff, and all the joints in that hand are stiff, from disuse. That physical therapy is going to hurt like all heck. I mean if I go squeeze a motorcycle clutch it’s excruciating. I guess they start off slow.
My sister is rampaging on my parents again. 😰Remember this spring when she went nuts around here trying to control everything? She’s back it at. It really stressed the s**t out of me last time. This is going to suck. I live under my parents roof and my father helps me sneeze she expects me to be her spy. She just texted wanting information. No reply.
I’m really thinking about the steps to get out of this hole I’m in. Feeling good and being healthy is #1. Then I can do anything. I’m very worried about my future.
ok laters on folks
VIPER 🐍🔥
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Good afternoon Aprils, I'm running a bit late again today. I went to my gdaughter's assembly at school this morning, it would be more than my lifes worth to miss that, then I had to go and do some grocery shopping.
Viper
many congratulations on 15 months. Just marvellous. xx
Nichole, I'm super proud of you. You did the right thing being open and honest with your doctor, make sure you take your medication too, she wouldn't prescribe it for you if you didn't need it, you have to take good care of yourself.
Hi Suze, you're sounding really good lately, sobriety suits you. I'm pleased that you are remaining good friends with your ex sponsor, that's a good thing to do, very grown up and mature
See you all later
Love always. xx
Viper
many congratulations on 15 months. Just marvellous. xxNichole, I'm super proud of you. You did the right thing being open and honest with your doctor, make sure you take your medication too, she wouldn't prescribe it for you if you didn't need it, you have to take good care of yourself.
Hi Suze, you're sounding really good lately, sobriety suits you. I'm pleased that you are remaining good friends with your ex sponsor, that's a good thing to do, very grown up and mature
See you all later
Love always. xx
Say cheese!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
afternoon x
well thats me back to my own place, totally knackered and also got phone call from hospital to say my operation is next friday! the 11th .
sry for the short post i am totally pooped and guess need a few days to catch up on sleep.
good seeing u all x congrats on the 15 months viper and great job nichole z
well thats me back to my own place, totally knackered and also got phone call from hospital to say my operation is next friday! the 11th .
sry for the short post i am totally pooped and guess need a few days to catch up on sleep.
good seeing u all x congrats on the 15 months viper and great job nichole z
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Hey all
Just about to get ready for work. I've had a nice little stay. Got to my hotel room and it was a beautiful room, had a lovely sleep and then this morning a few of us met for breakfast. Gorgeous buffet breakfast and only cost a tenner. When I was based at Gatwick, crew meeting for breakfast was quite a big thing. We would sit around the tables eating and chatting for ages. Ot doesnt seem to happen so much nowadays, but it was recommended here and it was lovely. I had fruit, smoked salmon, eggs, cheese, meats, coffee and grapefruit juice and then went back to bed ! Haha. Perfect.
Back to london tonight for 24 hours and then I am off to Baltimore.
Things are ok with me. Just kind of plodding along really. Starting my step work with my new sponsor next week.
Congrats on 15 months Vipe.!!
Daisy, sobriety suits you too!!
Erratic Good news on your op
Nichole, how are you doing?
Just about to get ready for work. I've had a nice little stay. Got to my hotel room and it was a beautiful room, had a lovely sleep and then this morning a few of us met for breakfast. Gorgeous buffet breakfast and only cost a tenner. When I was based at Gatwick, crew meeting for breakfast was quite a big thing. We would sit around the tables eating and chatting for ages. Ot doesnt seem to happen so much nowadays, but it was recommended here and it was lovely. I had fruit, smoked salmon, eggs, cheese, meats, coffee and grapefruit juice and then went back to bed ! Haha. Perfect.
Back to london tonight for 24 hours and then I am off to Baltimore.
Things are ok with me. Just kind of plodding along really. Starting my step work with my new sponsor next week.
Congrats on 15 months Vipe.!!
Daisy, sobriety suits you too!!
Erratic Good news on your op
Nichole, how are you doing?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Good morning all and a happy Sunday to you, I hope you're all good.
I have 18 months sober today and this time I have double checked, 18 months it is. Go me
. Thank you all for helping me to achieve this miracle. 
I'm so glad to see you back Erratic, I've been looking out for you, I missed you. Next Friday for your op, not long to wait now, you'll be like a new woman once that's out of the way.
Hi Suze, that breakfast sounds delightful, what a good way to start the day. I thought I was doing well with a bacon butty.
Have a safe journey back and then to Baltimore, post when you can.
See you all later, I'm off to peruse.
Love always. xxx
I have 18 months sober today and this time I have double checked, 18 months it is. Go me
. Thank you all for helping me to achieve this miracle. I'm so glad to see you back Erratic, I've been looking out for you, I missed you. Next Friday for your op, not long to wait now, you'll be like a new woman once that's out of the way.
Hi Suze, that breakfast sounds delightful, what a good way to start the day. I thought I was doing well with a bacon butty.
Have a safe journey back and then to Baltimore, post when you can.
See you all later, I'm off to peruse.
Love always. xxx
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 752
Hopefully my lovely April family is doing awesome
Erratic glad to see you post!!!!!
Daisy congrats on 18 months that makes me happy!!!
Snitch I would love to travel like you do!!! I have a question what is a tenner???
Viper Massachusetts is something I’ve been wanting to visit never been!!!
Dee hope your okay.
I’m all good life is good! Friday was little stressful went to a haunted house and out to eat was hard not to drink. I left my ID at home so I couldn’t buy a drink if I broke I thought ahead!!! I had an urge today but didn’t give it any attention so tomorrow will be 30 days very pumped to be sober I’m living life a different way and seeing things different... thank you for letting me be a part of the group through my hard times and screw ups
Take care y’all
Erratic glad to see you post!!!!!
Daisy congrats on 18 months that makes me happy!!!
Snitch I would love to travel like you do!!! I have a question what is a tenner???
Viper Massachusetts is something I’ve been wanting to visit never been!!!
Dee hope your okay.
I’m all good life is good! Friday was little stressful went to a haunted house and out to eat was hard not to drink. I left my ID at home so I couldn’t buy a drink if I broke I thought ahead!!! I had an urge today but didn’t give it any attention so tomorrow will be 30 days very pumped to be sober I’m living life a different way and seeing things different... thank you for letting me be a part of the group through my hard times and screw ups
Take care y’all
Say cheese!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
morn all x
thats me back to normal x great job on 18 months daisy xx
hey snitch i have been to montreal i love that city, i went and visited the big graveyard thats there and the big cathedral x
good thinking nichole on not taking ID xx
viper hope u are well?
dee also i hope u are ok aswell x
got my first appointment with CPNurse tomo morn, see how that goes. and guess its just count down till friday , will have to just try to relax this week but i am working thur morn so that be a distraction. I phoned my sister last night as i got told that her husband left her 2 weeks ago, so making sure she was ok and here if she needs me, least she spoke to me first time in 4yrs lol guess she was surprised to hear from me. my hub told me not to bother, but what can u do she is my sister.
anyway thats my news for now, hope u all have a good day all xx
thats me back to normal x great job on 18 months daisy xx
hey snitch i have been to montreal i love that city, i went and visited the big graveyard thats there and the big cathedral x
good thinking nichole on not taking ID xx
viper hope u are well?
dee also i hope u are ok aswell x
got my first appointment with CPNurse tomo morn, see how that goes. and guess its just count down till friday , will have to just try to relax this week but i am working thur morn so that be a distraction. I phoned my sister last night as i got told that her husband left her 2 weeks ago, so making sure she was ok and here if she needs me, least she spoke to me first time in 4yrs lol guess she was surprised to hear from me. my hub told me not to bother, but what can u do she is my sister.
anyway thats my news for now, hope u all have a good day all xx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Congratulations on 18 months Daisy! A whole year and half a year without any poison! Pretty awesome stuff. Proud of you and so glad to be on this path with you ❤❤
Nichole! Woo hoooooo!! You are doing this 😊😊 and you sound so good. I am so happy for you. Remember to keep it in the day, keep close here. Keep posting about how you feel. You are going to get urges but you are learning how to deal with them and they do pass! You can see that for yourself now. How was the haunted house?? I love scary stuff but am terrified of haunted houses Haha. A tenner is £10. I think £10 here is equivalent to about $17. So a good breakfast like that for a tenner is a bargain!!
Hey Erratic. I think that is nice to call your sister up to see how she is and let her know that you are there for her ❤❤
Off to work again for me. Everyrhing ok, just having a few issues or had a few issues with Seren's dad. But it's ok now. I don't think he really likes the fact I have put boundaries in place and he said some quite horrible things about me. He said my life is out of control and all my problems stem from me! Nice. Well, he may be right about the 2nd part haha but I have a solution today and as for my life being out of control, well I know that I am not the one running my life, my HP is, however my life has never been as manageable as it has now. He has never, ever recognised my sobriety in any way shape or form and in my opinion he is just waiting for me to f&ck up and drink again. It does hurt, I can't lie, but I know I am powerless over what he thinks, feels and acts, he is the same person he has alway been, I can only be responsible for my own actions and behaviours. If I let my boundaries down even the tiniest bit, his abuse and negativity starts to seep in so I have upped them again and this time I am sealing them shut. I do not need or have to put up with his abuse anymore. I only want to be with people who genuinely care for me and support me.
So that's where I am at. I wouldnt have been able to do any of that if I hadn't gotten sober. I know you guys know that I struggle sometimes but I can tell you today that I have absolutely zero desire to drink and for that I am so so grateful!
Oooh if anyone has Netflix I just watched an amazing series called Unbelievable. Based on real events. It was so good. I binged watched it yesterday. Couldn't stop!. Definitely recommend.
Ok, am off to get ready for work now!
Lots of love to you all
❤
Nichole! Woo hoooooo!! You are doing this 😊😊 and you sound so good. I am so happy for you. Remember to keep it in the day, keep close here. Keep posting about how you feel. You are going to get urges but you are learning how to deal with them and they do pass! You can see that for yourself now. How was the haunted house?? I love scary stuff but am terrified of haunted houses Haha. A tenner is £10. I think £10 here is equivalent to about $17. So a good breakfast like that for a tenner is a bargain!!
Hey Erratic. I think that is nice to call your sister up to see how she is and let her know that you are there for her ❤❤
Off to work again for me. Everyrhing ok, just having a few issues or had a few issues with Seren's dad. But it's ok now. I don't think he really likes the fact I have put boundaries in place and he said some quite horrible things about me. He said my life is out of control and all my problems stem from me! Nice. Well, he may be right about the 2nd part haha but I have a solution today and as for my life being out of control, well I know that I am not the one running my life, my HP is, however my life has never been as manageable as it has now. He has never, ever recognised my sobriety in any way shape or form and in my opinion he is just waiting for me to f&ck up and drink again. It does hurt, I can't lie, but I know I am powerless over what he thinks, feels and acts, he is the same person he has alway been, I can only be responsible for my own actions and behaviours. If I let my boundaries down even the tiniest bit, his abuse and negativity starts to seep in so I have upped them again and this time I am sealing them shut. I do not need or have to put up with his abuse anymore. I only want to be with people who genuinely care for me and support me.
So that's where I am at. I wouldnt have been able to do any of that if I hadn't gotten sober. I know you guys know that I struggle sometimes but I can tell you today that I have absolutely zero desire to drink and for that I am so so grateful!
Oooh if anyone has Netflix I just watched an amazing series called Unbelievable. Based on real events. It was so good. I binged watched it yesterday. Couldn't stop!. Definitely recommend.
Ok, am off to get ready for work now!
Lots of love to you all
❤
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