Mags1

Wisc, big congratulations on 3 months!

tootsl1

Welcome shortstop

Purplrks3647

Hey Shortstop! Welcome

Woo Hoo 3 months Wisc!

Mags1

Hiya Unders

Wisc I hope you’re feeling better today.

It’s getting a bit hectic out there on the lead up to Christmas.
A time of the year to be caught unawares for that one drink.
Though we all know how that ends up.
So I hope you’ll join me in not having that first drink.

stargazer016

Christmas is always a challenging time to stay sober. Even the normies in our lives tend to drink during this holiday, so the temptation is more pronounced. Remember to be strong and how far you all have come to this point. No one wants a Day One the day after.

Have a good day everyone!

tootsl1

There are usually threads here on SR with plenty of advice on how to avoid temptation. My own? Ensure you always have a full glass of the soft drink of your choice to constantly sip at, it helps with the urges and is something you can wave at anyone offering a drink. I take my own 2liter bottle of fizzy water to most family parties these days, they all understand! ...And eat plenty.
My other advice, is visualisation. In the early days of social sobriety, I would imagine myself walking around a party, enjoying the company of various people, smiling and laughing all with my water in my hand. I felt it helped me to prepare beforehand.
And leave early. If its getting to you, have a prepared excuse for leaving early and use it. It doesn't hurt to offer to be Designated Driver either. The DD tends to be sympathised with but not forced with alcohol. Even now, I am not comfortable being around people who are drunk, so when things reach that point, I exit stage left, for a cuddle with the dog and a cocoa...and hubbys drunken snores!

Purplrks3647

Great advice you guys! Thanks so much

wiscsober

Are there still the blow-out office parties with lampshades on heads and dancing on desks? Or was that stereotype? I haven't been to one in years and it was sober. I think a few partook in weed beforehand. I find them funny, but also some mixed emotions watching reruns of "The Office,"and their Xmas episodes.

Well there will be none today.

Exit early, but politely, is always a good bet.

Briansy

Or do what I do. Avoid them completely! They are nothing more than vehicles for getting trashed. I am really bad. I just have no desire to socialise like that anymore. Going on walks, playing golf, maybe a meal as long as it doesn't go on too long but that's it.

Had my Office Xmas lunch today. Thankfully I only stayed a couple of hours as I had to get to the airport. It's also my company so no pressure. But I still felt awkward around everyone drinking. But I'm only on Day 14. Maybe that will change. But I don't want to test that theory much or at all over the course of the next year. Head down and do the things I love and not commit to stuff I don't.

Sorry, real Debbie Downer over here!

Rose335

Good evening Unders

Willow and Wisc - congratulations on 4 weeks and 3 months! So very pleased for you both. Such a good feeling.

Hi Shortstop - nice to see you here.

I've been thinking about Christmas and drinking too and in fact tomorrow evening I'm going to be with friends whom (I have just heard) will be opening a special bottle of champagne to toast Christmas. I've just sent a quick text to say I'll bring my own special mocktail. I'm also the designated driver. No one is ill intentioned but at the same time no one would raise an eyebrow if I said I'd decided to join them in the toast so I just have to look out for myself. I think it's the whole business of the first drink being the fatal one that people just don't get. And whilst I can sort of see why they don't, I really do (finally)! I would be devastated not to have a sober Christmas and new year so I'm holding firm.

Hope everyone has a good weekend

SoberStevie

Evening all you lovely and wise ones! Such good solid advice on here. Toots, nice to see you posting again, hope you and your family are ok. Wisc, you're doing so well.
I'm with Briansy on the Christmas do stuff - I am swerving invitations. There will be wine with dinner which I'm hosting on Christmas day - but that doesn't bother me - Sainsbury's do a nice non alcoholic red wine which I enjoy as a treat, so I shall raise a glass of that. Never liked "proper" red wine, so this won't trigger me - but anything white and fizzy would have me craving the proper stuff.
Day 26 (I think) and sleep is improving, have a head cold/virus thing so feel under the weather, but am ok, so all is well.
Love to all, take care
Sx

SoberStevie

You too dear Rose - weekends are always more challenging, but we can do this!
Sx

Rose335

Indeed we can Stevie. Just saw a post from you on another SR thread which resonated with me. After staying up last night to watch the election results - as if I can afford to throw away opportunities for sleep - I too might have to hide in a fridge!

Dee74

congrats wiscsober

D

ManInTheArena

Hey Unders!! I've been a little hit-or-miss here on SR. I need to re-establish my routine - I miss it.

Congrats Wiscsober - very nice work!!

Welcome to the gang, Shortstop

Regarding the holiday parties, I really have to avoid them - probably one of the worst temptations for me. For the last 3 years my company has had ours at the casino, which is like pouring gas on a fire. They are going tonight - I am home watching golf on TV. I'm perfectly fine with that!!

Mags1

Morning Unders

The first Christmas I was sober my work colleagues were going for an indian and booze up. I made my excuses and didn’t go. I would’ve loved to go for a curry but some of these people are big drinkers and persuade you to do the same (I think it makes them feel better if everyone around them is getting plastered

Anyways all I heard was their drunken antics and embarrassing moments over the following workdays. I thought I’d missed out and realised, nope, I did the right thing declining.

I’m happy to be at home nowadays or with family and true friends.

Loved all the posts. ❤️

tootsl1

Yes, avoid those parties you can in the early days, it's never worth the temptation or just the annoyance of being around so many drunk people!

Thanks Stevie, we're all fine, hubby and I travelled back Tuesday- nightmare weather but we made it - my mum went out with my sil and niece Thursday and said it would take some getting used to, not having to rush home or worry what she might be going back to! I've asked her to come to Spain for a week in jan/Feb to help me with some decorating which will give her something to look forward to when her brother returns to Canada on 10th.

Rose, just check that Alcohol free wine is actually A-free and not just 0.5% or something. I always read the small print. Nowadays I pretty much stick to Schloer ( other soft, fizzy, sophisticated-looking drinks are available! )

SoberStevie

Glad you're ok Toots, sounds like your mum has lots of support which is lovely. I like Schloer - the Co Op have a nice Christmas red for just over a quid at the moment, I've stock piled it!
To be honest, I am surprised I haven't had many cravings (yet?) I'll be a month early next week. I am ready if I do, and ever on guard, but so far, so good. I wonder if this is because when I quit I really didn't like the taste anymore - there was nothing good about it - the effect, the enjoyment, all gone. I was long overdue quitting. The lows were getting worse - and there were no highs to justify them.
Have a good weekend all
Sx

wiscsober

My sober irreverence for co-workers, and the need to push their patience, made for interesting work situations.

That silliness popped in to my brain as I was thinking of parties.

I valued assertiveness (still do), but looking back at different employments I think I acted passive-aggressively, feared losing, acted mean and depressively, and hyper physically.

Not 100% all the time, but enough to cause problems. When the drinking recurred all bets were off except the one where I quit or lost the jobs.

wiscsober

Popping in for a quick peek...have a great sober Sunday.