Class of March 2016 Part 76
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Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,746
Putting this in other threads as well- easier
The verdict against Pell this morning leaves me feeling sad- and accepting of the fact there are many areas of damage in my life which will not see closure or even the ability to once and for all- let go. I am a fusion of what I was, the trauma I experienced and the person I am now...to which would not be, given the past. I have had a lot of feelings of fear- flashbacks of how truly unwell I was- especially in the knowledge a week in the burns unit for more hand surgery is happening soon (to be advised).
The ribbon a red/black depicts this.
I painted over all of the words of despair and fear ( like 'god left me my voice- so I could scream').
The blue and green 'swirls' are the natural progression of life...as it should be.
The violent red/black is self evident on it's meaning.
I have been changing the canvas since my introduction to ACT- values based psychology. I cannot just go around the trauma, it is part of me- as I see every day in my scars.
I am that I am- more accepting I have a long path ahead in facing challenging and putting the past to rest. Some things from the past may always haunt me- but I am learning to keep going, despite of this..to face the true horror (as I see it) of burns, near death from self neglect malnourishment, abuse and all the other things as well.
Not to distract- but face the emotions- and work on being the best I can this moment, regardless. As I, this canvas is not finished- not yet.
But I am getting on with life- and no longer have the fear I did once.
The verdict against Pell this morning leaves me feeling sad- and accepting of the fact there are many areas of damage in my life which will not see closure or even the ability to once and for all- let go. I am a fusion of what I was, the trauma I experienced and the person I am now...to which would not be, given the past. I have had a lot of feelings of fear- flashbacks of how truly unwell I was- especially in the knowledge a week in the burns unit for more hand surgery is happening soon (to be advised).
The ribbon a red/black depicts this.
I painted over all of the words of despair and fear ( like 'god left me my voice- so I could scream').
The blue and green 'swirls' are the natural progression of life...as it should be.
The violent red/black is self evident on it's meaning.
I have been changing the canvas since my introduction to ACT- values based psychology. I cannot just go around the trauma, it is part of me- as I see every day in my scars.
I am that I am- more accepting I have a long path ahead in facing challenging and putting the past to rest. Some things from the past may always haunt me- but I am learning to keep going, despite of this..to face the true horror (as I see it) of burns, near death from self neglect malnourishment, abuse and all the other things as well.
Not to distract- but face the emotions- and work on being the best I can this moment, regardless. As I, this canvas is not finished- not yet.
But I am getting on with life- and no longer have the fear I did once.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,659
Oh PJ.....I didn't know about the verdict. I just read....oh.....so much emotion....we have lived with this horrendous shadow for so long.....so many did not want to believe it could be true. I am horrified to be honest. And so so sad. And so very sorry for everyone who was in this man's path. 
♥♥
♥♥
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: St. Louis, Mo
Posts: 7,335
Hugs to all this verdict affected. These public trials are so triggering to us abuse victims.
Love the changes you've made to your painting, PHX. I think I am ready to read your novel when you write it.
Have an awesome day my friends.
Love the changes you've made to your painting, PHX. I think I am ready to read your novel when you write it.
Have an awesome day my friends.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,192
Late good morning Marchers. Almost through with startin' fluid. This time change has got my days all screwed up!!!
Going to the grocery today. I'll give the liquor isle the ole Casey salute. Shore do wish Casey would come back. Sam too!!!
Going to the grocery today. I'll give the liquor isle the ole Casey salute. Shore do wish Casey would come back. Sam too!!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,746
'nother repeat post- feeling better today...
You would be great with a blog Itch- but then again, perhaps then you would not share here so often and well.
Well I HAD to get off my proverbial today. Anxiety over surgery is like an unresolved headache. It will happen when it does- so stewing in isolative juice dinna work.
AND after my high moral ground share with the art project, I have to keep pushing myself....I feel uncomfortable doing nothing- that time can be filled with getting complacent and having a relapse..and as you all know- my opinion is another relapse would leave me succeeding where last time- despite a Herculanean effort lived- and I will go dead.
I gave a Monster plant (Monasteria Del.) a good go inside- but it is not thriving, so I have relegated it outside. Put in another root bound BIG pot plant (spider plant/ monster) in the garden-back. The surgery is an excuse to recharge motivation- as not in house for a week and a friend is watering the garden, collecting mail- I am making sure all the beds retain water- and excess drain into lower ground level plants by gravity- not wasting a drop of our most valuable resource.
You would be great with a blog Itch- but then again, perhaps then you would not share here so often and well.
Well I HAD to get off my proverbial today. Anxiety over surgery is like an unresolved headache. It will happen when it does- so stewing in isolative juice dinna work.
AND after my high moral ground share with the art project, I have to keep pushing myself....I feel uncomfortable doing nothing- that time can be filled with getting complacent and having a relapse..and as you all know- my opinion is another relapse would leave me succeeding where last time- despite a Herculanean effort lived- and I will go dead.
I gave a Monster plant (Monasteria Del.) a good go inside- but it is not thriving, so I have relegated it outside. Put in another root bound BIG pot plant (spider plant/ monster) in the garden-back. The surgery is an excuse to recharge motivation- as not in house for a week and a friend is watering the garden, collecting mail- I am making sure all the beds retain water- and excess drain into lower ground level plants by gravity- not wasting a drop of our most valuable resource.
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