Class of November 2018 Part 2
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 636
Just got home from work and I’m tired but I must workout and do some studying. Got some real good insight from “This Naked Mind” book on all the delusion alcohol had on me. I’ve also been inspired by David Gogging to recreate myself, become friends with pain and tackle all adversity. Day 8 today and I’m looking forward to a sober thanksgiving.
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
It's been a nice day overall. Despite sleeping so great, I came home from work and took a hardcore two hour nap--one of those naps where you're not sure where you are or what time it is or anything else when you first wake up.
Few minor cravings this evening but nothing I'm gonna act on. I don't want to do that anymore.
Hope everyone is having a wonderful Monday evening/Tuesday morning, etc. If you haven't checked in today, hope you'll do so soon! Build up those accountability muscles.
Gonna go start a new Fallout character and battle radioactive monsters for a bit before bed. If I don't check back in, thanks to everyone here for helping me stay sober one more day!
Few minor cravings this evening but nothing I'm gonna act on. I don't want to do that anymore.
Hope everyone is having a wonderful Monday evening/Tuesday morning, etc. If you haven't checked in today, hope you'll do so soon! Build up those accountability muscles.
Gonna go start a new Fallout character and battle radioactive monsters for a bit before bed. If I don't check back in, thanks to everyone here for helping me stay sober one more day!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 11
It's been awhile since I've posted as I've been stupid busy lately.
Last week was probably one of the worst weeks I've had in a number of years. Work just kept me very busy all week including working from home into the late evening hours. On top of that, my wife was traveling so it was just me and the kids. On top of that, my daughter got pinkeye so had to stay home all week so I was working from home to take care of her. Kudos to all you single parents out there. It's a tough job.
If there was any week to drink, last week would have been it. But I was a good boy and opted to lift some weights to relieve stress rather than open a bottle. I'm really happy with that decision.
I'm now over 3 weeks without alcohol and I really am starting to feel much better and sleeping more. However, I caught myself today daydreaming that I've done such a good job lately I should reward myself with an evening of drinking. But I know that is something I really don't want. I don't enjoy drinking no matter what the stupid alcohol voice inside my head tries to tell me. I'm stronger than he is.
This past weekend I took the family to an indoor waterpark for the weekend. Normally, I'd be grabbing beer after beer and soaking it up in the hot tub. I was thinking I'd be feeling a bit left out as all the other adults there would be drinking beer and enjoying themselves. But I think that's just a myth that I somehow put in my head. I really paid attention this weekend and there were definitely more adults NOT drinking that those that were drinking. Funny how we can get that tunnel vision.
Anyway, I think what has really helped me was Annie Grace's book and her podcast. It really took awhile, multiple false starts and a few full reads but it has really sunk in for me. I'll post something more in the future on this but I'm ready for bed now. Good luck people and keep your head up!
Last week was probably one of the worst weeks I've had in a number of years. Work just kept me very busy all week including working from home into the late evening hours. On top of that, my wife was traveling so it was just me and the kids. On top of that, my daughter got pinkeye so had to stay home all week so I was working from home to take care of her. Kudos to all you single parents out there. It's a tough job.
If there was any week to drink, last week would have been it. But I was a good boy and opted to lift some weights to relieve stress rather than open a bottle. I'm really happy with that decision.
I'm now over 3 weeks without alcohol and I really am starting to feel much better and sleeping more. However, I caught myself today daydreaming that I've done such a good job lately I should reward myself with an evening of drinking. But I know that is something I really don't want. I don't enjoy drinking no matter what the stupid alcohol voice inside my head tries to tell me. I'm stronger than he is.
This past weekend I took the family to an indoor waterpark for the weekend. Normally, I'd be grabbing beer after beer and soaking it up in the hot tub. I was thinking I'd be feeling a bit left out as all the other adults there would be drinking beer and enjoying themselves. But I think that's just a myth that I somehow put in my head. I really paid attention this weekend and there were definitely more adults NOT drinking that those that were drinking. Funny how we can get that tunnel vision.
Anyway, I think what has really helped me was Annie Grace's book and her podcast. It really took awhile, multiple false starts and a few full reads but it has really sunk in for me. I'll post something more in the future on this but I'm ready for bed now. Good luck people and keep your head up!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 771
Just checking in. I had a good day today and am feeling pretty good. Started listening to Annie Grace’s videos while I was out walking.
Then this evening I was out having dinner, and the waiter mistakenly set the glass of wine in front of me instead of my husband. I could smell it, and for a second, just out of habit and not want, I thought I should have wine too. It was a fleeting thought, but I was not tempted.
I want to keep my focus every single day until sobriety becomes my new normal. So each day I read something about sobriety, come here, or listen to videos. I’m so afraid of screwing up, but I think I can do this.
So sleepy. Im off to bed, feeling good at the end of a busy day. I hope everyone is doing great tonight. Goodnight.
Then this evening I was out having dinner, and the waiter mistakenly set the glass of wine in front of me instead of my husband. I could smell it, and for a second, just out of habit and not want, I thought I should have wine too. It was a fleeting thought, but I was not tempted.
I want to keep my focus every single day until sobriety becomes my new normal. So each day I read something about sobriety, come here, or listen to videos. I’m so afraid of screwing up, but I think I can do this.
So sleepy. Im off to bed, feeling good at the end of a busy day. I hope everyone is doing great tonight. Goodnight.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 2,280
Originally Posted by GhostFace 
Just got home from work and I’m tired but I must workout and do some studying. Got some real good insight from “This Naked Mind” book on all the delusion alcohol had on me. I’ve also been inspired by David Gogging to recreate myself, become friends with pain and tackle all adversity. Day 8 today and I’m looking forward to a sober thanksgiving.
Awesome job for day 8.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 67
Morning all. It’s 6.27 in the morning UK. Am getting some reading in before the mad school rush begins. I am starting day 4 and am starting to feel a little bit more human and less anxious.
I didn’t manage to make another AA meeting yesterday as my son was off school unwell. I drove him the hour to he’s specialist school as he didn’t want to get in the transport and by the time we got to school he was complaining of tummy pains and getting himself into such a state that the school told me to take him home. Sounds awful, but I felt so cross with him as I had planned my day to get to a meeting and focus on not drinking. Even more frustrating was, he didn’t complain of tummy pains on the journey home or throughout the rest of the day.
It was a long day with him as he can be fairly demanding due to he’s needs. Come 4pm my head started thinking about a drink as I felt so low and didn’t know how I was going to get through the evening with him. I have a younger daughter too and she does an all singing all dancing class on a Monday eve so whilst she was doing that I took my son to a little coffee shop and we had hot chocolate which I must say took away some of the craving. I think the real craving for me was mental as I have used alcohol for so long as I think I can’t cope with my son in a good way without it. I was quite stressed with him last night at bedtime as he sleeps with me every night and takes forever to go off and I just lay reading, praying for him to go to sleep so my brain can just switch off and I know I get the night time to sleep and not feel anxious/stressed about him.
Anyways he seems ok this morning when he woke and I am praying he gets in the transport this morning.
Time to get on with the day. Thanks to you all for your posts. They are giving me hope and comfort. Have a good day x
I didn’t manage to make another AA meeting yesterday as my son was off school unwell. I drove him the hour to he’s specialist school as he didn’t want to get in the transport and by the time we got to school he was complaining of tummy pains and getting himself into such a state that the school told me to take him home. Sounds awful, but I felt so cross with him as I had planned my day to get to a meeting and focus on not drinking. Even more frustrating was, he didn’t complain of tummy pains on the journey home or throughout the rest of the day.
It was a long day with him as he can be fairly demanding due to he’s needs. Come 4pm my head started thinking about a drink as I felt so low and didn’t know how I was going to get through the evening with him. I have a younger daughter too and she does an all singing all dancing class on a Monday eve so whilst she was doing that I took my son to a little coffee shop and we had hot chocolate which I must say took away some of the craving. I think the real craving for me was mental as I have used alcohol for so long as I think I can’t cope with my son in a good way without it. I was quite stressed with him last night at bedtime as he sleeps with me every night and takes forever to go off and I just lay reading, praying for him to go to sleep so my brain can just switch off and I know I get the night time to sleep and not feel anxious/stressed about him.
Anyways he seems ok this morning when he woke and I am praying he gets in the transport this morning.
Time to get on with the day. Thanks to you all for your posts. They are giving me hope and comfort. Have a good day x
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,315
Day 10.
Double figures, you beauty!!!!
Conscious karate someone once called the first few weeks of cleaning up.
Wowee my mind is all over the place.
The fog of depression is lifting as is the anxiety.
But my thoughts are machine gun like.....
Glad to be in the group and good to see so many moving forwards.
I too need to get this book The Naked Mind.....
Hope all are well.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 2,280
Sounds like you have your hands full Amanda. You are looking after your children by yourself? Sorry if I'm crossing the line by asking.
We are both on day 4 and I think in the beginning sometimes it feels like having to commit to one hour sober at a time. I realised today that I can not think about what I'm doing on the weekend but focus on not drinking today.
Having a hot choc sounds so warming and delicious, much better than getting boozed.
I'm at the end of my day 4 here in NZ, I hope yours goes well..
We are both on day 4 and I think in the beginning sometimes it feels like having to commit to one hour sober at a time. I realised today that I can not think about what I'm doing on the weekend but focus on not drinking today.
Having a hot choc sounds so warming and delicious, much better than getting boozed.
I'm at the end of my day 4 here in NZ, I hope yours goes well..
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 252
Tuesday is day 20 for me. And while that feels good I think I may have lost an amazing woman on Friday. I rode out the weekend, went to a meeting on Saturday. I've been awake pretty much all weekend. Had a decent day at work and had a really good IOP session after work and even got a little hope on my legal troubles. Finally get to meet with my lawyer this afternoon. So hopefully more decent news there. One of the guys at the IOP tonight came to share his story and he was charged with basically the same things I am. He told me to start getting cards signed at meetings so I can give them to the court to prove I was there, and that me going to rehab and then doing the IOP and staying sober is the best things I could be doing for my situation. Nothing is court ordered at this point so I've been doing this all on my own. Had one screw up on Halloween where I had to reset my counter, but 20 days is the most sober time I've had in I don't know how long. I still have some hope for the relationship, praying a lot about it.
Basically I told her a lie. I did it to try and protect her from worrying, but that's not a good excuse. I said it. No alcohol involved in that incident, but I was late for work and gave her the impression I had been there all morning because I knew she would worry about that, given my history. Extremely stupid on my part. She told me that not having to worry about me was a huge weight off of her shoulders, and my wonderful alcoholic mind decided in a split second to say what I did. She already knew that I hadn't been at work but about an hour at that point. Like I said, dumb. But I did make it through the weekend without drinking, even after that happened, so I do feel good about that. I really want that 30 day chip. And I will get it this time. And the 60 day, and the 90, and so on. I'm not being cocky about it but I feel like if I could make it through that with my sobriety intact I can really do this. Thank you all for the support I've been reading about on here. This is a great source for me.
Basically I told her a lie. I did it to try and protect her from worrying, but that's not a good excuse. I said it. No alcohol involved in that incident, but I was late for work and gave her the impression I had been there all morning because I knew she would worry about that, given my history. Extremely stupid on my part. She told me that not having to worry about me was a huge weight off of her shoulders, and my wonderful alcoholic mind decided in a split second to say what I did. She already knew that I hadn't been at work but about an hour at that point. Like I said, dumb. But I did make it through the weekend without drinking, even after that happened, so I do feel good about that. I really want that 30 day chip. And I will get it this time. And the 60 day, and the 90, and so on. I'm not being cocky about it but I feel like if I could make it through that with my sobriety intact I can really do this. Thank you all for the support I've been reading about on here. This is a great source for me.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 67
Originally Posted by Red78
Sounds like you have your hands full Amanda. You are looking after your children by yourself? Sorry if I'm crossing the line by asking.
We are both on day 4 and I think in the beginning sometimes it feels like having to commit to one hour sober at a time. I realised today that I can not think about what I'm doing on the weekend but focus on not drinking today.
Having a hot choc sounds so warming and delicious, much better than getting boozed.
I'm at the end of my day 4 here in NZ, I hope yours goes well..
We are both on day 4 and I think in the beginning sometimes it feels like having to commit to one hour sober at a time. I realised today that I can not think about what I'm doing on the weekend but focus on not drinking today.
Having a hot choc sounds so warming and delicious, much better than getting boozed.
I'm at the end of my day 4 here in NZ, I hope yours goes well..
I do get down at times with regards to my son as it doesn’t matter what I do it ifeels it’s never enough and I see no end to it, he can be violent at times and verbally abusive which sets me off. He’s dad left as he couldn’t handle my son but they are so similar so I feel I am just stuck in a horrible relationship still.
Well done for getting through day 4-yes, your right, I think I will have to do 10 mins by 10mins come 4 o clock when witching hour starts. A big positive is my son got in he’s transport this morning and I am currently sat in a garden centre, having a coffee and I don’t want to order a tonne of fried breakfast food to help my hangover as I don’t have one😊 It’s a good start to my day x
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 660
Good Morning Everyone 
GhostFace… I love everything you are doing! Inspiring
joy57… Thank you! How are you doing?
CaseyW… Good stuff!
Jumper13… Wow! That’s a lot to carry on one’s shoulder! You did an amazing job of getting through it. I’m so happy for you. Oh gosh… I do the daydreaming thing too. Sometimes I feel like I’m doing all this work so that in the end I can drink again. Sigh. I associate so many family activities with drinking too. I drank my way through Disney for years! Have you checked out Annie Grace’s free “Alcohol Experiment” link?
Bonniefloyd… I’m so, so glad you didn’t drink the wine! I know you can do this, Bonnie, and I’m so glad we are doing this together! Stay with me
Red78… I agree about the “Alcohol Experiment”! I posted the link in this thread, I believe. I restarted it so many freaking times I’ve never finished! I think I got to Day 20-something. I want to do it again, but I can’t even seem to keep up with the 30 Day Sobriety Solution. Life is just sooo busy! How are you doing, Red?
Amanda05… OMGoodness. That sounds like my boys. I would have felt the exact same way. Happens to me all the time
((( Amanda ))) that sounds like a very challenging and overwhelming situation with your son. As I was reading about your hot chocolate outing, it made me realize that a lot of us use alcohol as a comfort/escape and when we take that away, we are left with nothing. You have given me an important reminder that I need to fill that void, not just leave it empty. I’m so glad you are here!
obosob… YES!!! That’s awesome OMGoodness! I can so relate to the mind and hormone changes you are experiencing!
dafunbra… ((( hugs ))) I’m so proud of you for not self-destructing over the relationship troubles. I have a good feeling, dafunbra, that if you keep doing everything you are doing to get your life on track, things are going to work out for the best. There is a sign from Magnolia that I love… it reads, “The Good Ol’ Days are Still to Come”. I really want to believe that
Dee74… Thank you! How are you today?
GhostFace… I love everything you are doing! Inspiring
joy57… Thank you! How are you doing?
CaseyW… Good stuff!
Jumper13… Wow! That’s a lot to carry on one’s shoulder! You did an amazing job of getting through it. I’m so happy for you. Oh gosh… I do the daydreaming thing too. Sometimes I feel like I’m doing all this work so that in the end I can drink again. Sigh. I associate so many family activities with drinking too. I drank my way through Disney for years! Have you checked out Annie Grace’s free “Alcohol Experiment” link?
Bonniefloyd… I’m so, so glad you didn’t drink the wine! I know you can do this, Bonnie, and I’m so glad we are doing this together! Stay with me
Red78… I agree about the “Alcohol Experiment”! I posted the link in this thread, I believe. I restarted it so many freaking times I’ve never finished! I think I got to Day 20-something. I want to do it again, but I can’t even seem to keep up with the 30 Day Sobriety Solution. Life is just sooo busy! How are you doing, Red?
Amanda05… OMGoodness. That sounds like my boys. I would have felt the exact same way. Happens to me all the time
((( Amanda ))) that sounds like a very challenging and overwhelming situation with your son. As I was reading about your hot chocolate outing, it made me realize that a lot of us use alcohol as a comfort/escape and when we take that away, we are left with nothing. You have given me an important reminder that I need to fill that void, not just leave it empty. I’m so glad you are here! obosob… YES!!! That’s awesome
OMGoodness! I can so relate to the mind and hormone changes you are experiencing! dafunbra… ((( hugs ))) I’m so proud of you for not self-destructing over the relationship troubles. I have a good feeling, dafunbra, that if you keep doing everything you are doing to get your life on track, things are going to work out for the best. There is a sign from Magnolia that I love… it reads, “The Good Ol’ Days are Still to Come”. I really want to believe that
Dee74… Thank you! How are you today?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 1,121
Day 16 - Well darn. Sat up until 11:00pm last night to watch my team lose an insane football game, that broke the all time scoring record for the Monday Night Football series, which dates back some 700+ games. Oh well, it was quite a spectacle, and there's always another game. The biggest tragedy is that I didn't get my full night's sleep and I'm a little groggy this morning. This old fella needs 7 hours to fully function.
So glad to hear from everyone. A couple of quick responses, though I'm too tired (lazy) to go back and pair them up with the person that mentioned them. Pumpkin pie. The kind I make goes into a pie shell and into the oven after you blend all of the ingredients. Bohemian Rhapsody. With all of the good reviews, I'm hearing, I'm sold. Now that I have most of my Thanksgiving dinner preparations done, and I'm off work tomorrow, I'm going to spend a couple of hours and go see it. I saw Queen live back in the 80's. It was a spectacle. Freddy Mercury was one of a kind.
Oh yeah, and about those teenagers. The ones with the brains that haven't quite fully developed. That think they know everything, but can't seem to take care of any simple task. That scowl at you and won't share anything about themselves. That have transformed from sweet, grateful, loving children, to hateful little pains in the @ss. Yeah, I think that it's perfectly normal to have feelings of dislike towards our kids during this period. I certainly did. The mistake that I made, especially with my difficult middle child, was to retreat from the job of being a parent, and hope things would just get better. And drink when they didn't, which led to bad decisions, harsh words, etc, etc. If I would have had more confidence in myself, and seen things through sober eyes, I would have known that I was the parent and that I needed to set clear boundaries and expectations for her behavior, and follow through with whatever consequences were laid out when she crossed the line. It would have been the loving thing to do, even though it wouldn't have been comfortable. And I would have felt so much better about myself for doing so. I feel for all of you parents of teenagers. The struggle is real!
Have a great day everyone, and I'll be checking in frequently over the holiday weekend. Right now, I need more coffee!!!
So glad to hear from everyone. A couple of quick responses, though I'm too tired (lazy) to go back and pair them up with the person that mentioned them. Pumpkin pie. The kind I make goes into a pie shell and into the oven after you blend all of the ingredients. Bohemian Rhapsody. With all of the good reviews, I'm hearing, I'm sold. Now that I have most of my Thanksgiving dinner preparations done, and I'm off work tomorrow, I'm going to spend a couple of hours and go see it. I saw Queen live back in the 80's. It was a spectacle. Freddy Mercury was one of a kind.
Oh yeah, and about those teenagers. The ones with the brains that haven't quite fully developed. That think they know everything, but can't seem to take care of any simple task. That scowl at you and won't share anything about themselves. That have transformed from sweet, grateful, loving children, to hateful little pains in the @ss. Yeah, I think that it's perfectly normal to have feelings of dislike towards our kids during this period. I certainly did. The mistake that I made, especially with my difficult middle child, was to retreat from the job of being a parent, and hope things would just get better. And drink when they didn't, which led to bad decisions, harsh words, etc, etc. If I would have had more confidence in myself, and seen things through sober eyes, I would have known that I was the parent and that I needed to set clear boundaries and expectations for her behavior, and follow through with whatever consequences were laid out when she crossed the line. It would have been the loving thing to do, even though it wouldn't have been comfortable. And I would have felt so much better about myself for doing so. I feel for all of you parents of teenagers. The struggle is real!
Have a great day everyone, and I'll be checking in frequently over the holiday weekend. Right now, I need more coffee!!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 771
Dafunbra — sorry about you legal troubles, as well as your relationship troubles. I’m so glad you are able to focus on your sobriety through everything. Big congratulations on day 20!
Amanda — I apologize if you’ve already shared this, but how old is your son? I’m really sorry it’s causing you so much stress. I can absolutely relate. I’m so glad that at least you are getting a little time to yourself this morning.
Jumper — you sound like you’re doing really well. It seems that you’re getting the hang of this sobriety thing!
As for me, I’m on day 8. Very happy to have made it beyond one week.
Question: at what point do you have the confidence to say “I’ve got this”? Because I really don’t ever want to drink again, but I’m still not trusting myself. Right now I think I’m going to do this; I’m going to be sober forever. But of course drinking turned me into such a sneaky liar that my own family had no idea how bad it was. How do I know I’m not pulling one over on myself?
It’s not like I’m sitting around worrying; I’m just working on being more self aware and honest. Right now I’m on day 8, and I know I will make it to day 10. (Double digits!) So that’s what I’m focused on.
Anyhoo, have a great, sober day everyone!
xoxo
Amanda — I apologize if you’ve already shared this, but how old is your son? I’m really sorry it’s causing you so much stress. I can absolutely relate. I’m so glad that at least you are getting a little time to yourself this morning.
Jumper — you sound like you’re doing really well. It seems that you’re getting the hang of this sobriety thing!
As for me, I’m on day 8. Very happy to have made it beyond one week.
Question: at what point do you have the confidence to say “I’ve got this”? Because I really don’t ever want to drink again, but I’m still not trusting myself. Right now I think I’m going to do this; I’m going to be sober forever. But of course drinking turned me into such a sneaky liar that my own family had no idea how bad it was. How do I know I’m not pulling one over on myself?
It’s not like I’m sitting around worrying; I’m just working on being more self aware and honest. Right now I’m on day 8, and I know I will make it to day 10. (Double digits!) So that’s what I’m focused on.
Anyhoo, have a great, sober day everyone!
xoxo
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 421
Good morning all. Day 3 here. Although I had a great session with my therapist last night, I didn't sleep well and had stress dream after stress dream with the most ridiculous scenarios--I'm trying to sign an important document and no matter what pen I use it won't write, I'm thirsty and my straw keeps breaking, I have a fully functional phone except for the fact that it won't make outgoing calls, etc etc. That type of stuff. Woke up at about 4 am and couldn't get back to sleep properly.
Feeling very negative this morning. I was looking in my closet earlier and realized that the clothes I used to wear 2 years ago look incredibly tiny to me now...like, I FIT in these? Made me sad seeing how far I've let myself go. Oversize shirts, jogging pants and leggings have been my go-to outfits this past year. Feeling like I don't even know how to start getting myself back.
Feeling very negative this morning. I was looking in my closet earlier and realized that the clothes I used to wear 2 years ago look incredibly tiny to me now...like, I FIT in these? Made me sad seeing how far I've let myself go. Oversize shirts, jogging pants and leggings have been my go-to outfits this past year. Feeling like I don't even know how to start getting myself back.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 421
I'm off to work now. Hopefully when I get there I'll feel a bit more positive (today is our Thanksgiving feast and I'll be doing some prep work for that). I'll check in later today and catch up with everyone's posts.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 771
((Linners)) I’m so sorry you’re feeling low today. It’s going to get better. Congratulations on day 3! I believe that as we rack up more sober days, it will become easier to get into a positive mindset. I hope your day improves.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 1,121
Originally Posted by Bonniefloyd
Question: at what point do you have the confidence to say “I’ve got this”? Because I really don’t ever want to drink again, but I’m still not trusting myself. Right now I think I’m going to do this; I’m going to be sober forever. But of course drinking turned me into such a sneaky liar that my own family had no idea how bad it was. How do I know I’m not pulling one over on myself?
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