Class of August 2018 Part One
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,246
Pleased to meet everyone in the August group.
ReadyAtLast.....day 3 is a horror. I am suffering mentally. bad anxiety, remorse and a giant craving an hour ago. I ate my way through it. I see now their is a pattern when I stop drinking.....the shame, anxiety and lots of aches and pains. My chronic reflux problem tends to hit a peak 3 days after I stop but usually gets a bit better each day after that. I had brain fog for days if not a few weeks when I stopped before but I haven't had that over these last few months of on again, off again drinking. One thing to be grateful for ........
I am trying to find a way to make my commitment to recovery permanent. I know I cannot drink normally. I don't relapse thinking I will be able to control it anymore....that ship has most definitely passed. It's more that I still haven't found a way to accept life as it is. I wear myself out trying to control things and finally just crack when it all gets too much. Hoping to find a way forward this time.
Best wishes to everyone.
ReadyAtLast.....day 3 is a horror. I am suffering mentally. bad anxiety, remorse and a giant craving an hour ago. I ate my way through it. I see now their is a pattern when I stop drinking.....the shame, anxiety and lots of aches and pains. My chronic reflux problem tends to hit a peak 3 days after I stop but usually gets a bit better each day after that. I had brain fog for days if not a few weeks when I stopped before but I haven't had that over these last few months of on again, off again drinking. One thing to be grateful for ........
I am trying to find a way to make my commitment to recovery permanent. I know I cannot drink normally. I don't relapse thinking I will be able to control it anymore....that ship has most definitely passed. It's more that I still haven't found a way to accept life as it is. I wear myself out trying to control things and finally just crack when it all gets too much. Hoping to find a way forward this time.
Best wishes to everyone.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 421
Originally Posted by DarklingSong 
Pleased to meet everyone in the August group.
ReadyAtLast.....day 3 is a horror. I am suffering mentally. bad anxiety, remorse and a giant craving an hour ago. I ate my way through it. I see now their is a pattern when I stop drinking.....the shame, anxiety and lots of aches and pains. My chronic reflux problem tends to hit a peak 3 days after I stop but usually gets a bit better each day after that. I had brain fog for days if not a few weeks when I stopped before but I haven't had that over these last few months of on again, off again drinking. One thing to be grateful for ........
I am trying to find a way to make my commitment to recovery permanent. I know I cannot drink normally. I don't relapse thinking I will be able to control it anymore....that ship has most definitely passed. It's more that I still haven't found a way to accept life as it is. I wear myself out trying to control things and finally just crack when it all gets too much. Hoping to find a way forward this time.
Best wishes to everyone.
ReadyAtLast.....day 3 is a horror. I am suffering mentally. bad anxiety, remorse and a giant craving an hour ago. I ate my way through it. I see now their is a pattern when I stop drinking.....the shame, anxiety and lots of aches and pains. My chronic reflux problem tends to hit a peak 3 days after I stop but usually gets a bit better each day after that. I had brain fog for days if not a few weeks when I stopped before but I haven't had that over these last few months of on again, off again drinking. One thing to be grateful for ........
I am trying to find a way to make my commitment to recovery permanent. I know I cannot drink normally. I don't relapse thinking I will be able to control it anymore....that ship has most definitely passed. It's more that I still haven't found a way to accept life as it is. I wear myself out trying to control things and finally just crack when it all gets too much. Hoping to find a way forward this time.
Best wishes to everyone.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Hi darkling song. It is a horror. My whole body is aching especially my back and neck and head. On a positive note I feel so physically bad I don't want to drink now but I know that will pass in a few days and then it gets really difficult. Hope you feel a bit better as each day goes by. The anxiety is awful isn't it but it does ease and if not maybe see your doc?
Do you have a plan ? I'm really trying to focus on that this time as have failed before. It's just the bare bones at the minute but I will expand on it.
Wake up feeling grateful to be sober
Eat as healthily as possible
Drink water
Exercise each day even just a walk and do more as I get stronger.
Try to stay calm.
Learn how to let resentments go including the resentment that I can't drink
Be grateful for what I have.
Change habits. Plan to do stuff when I would normally drink
See sobriety as a positive not a negative
Just live each day trying not to think back or project forward.
I know it gets better I'm just scared.
Do you have a plan ? I'm really trying to focus on that this time as have failed before. It's just the bare bones at the minute but I will expand on it.
Wake up feeling grateful to be sober
Eat as healthily as possible
Drink water
Exercise each day even just a walk and do more as I get stronger.
Try to stay calm.
Learn how to let resentments go including the resentment that I can't drink
Be grateful for what I have.
Change habits. Plan to do stuff when I would normally drink
See sobriety as a positive not a negative
Just live each day trying not to think back or project forward.
I know it gets better I'm just scared.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Originally Posted by Linners820
I'm in pretty bad shape mentally and physically today too. Mentally, I'm on a shame spiral. I clearly have no off switch anymore when I start drinking, and I feel I really made a fool of myself last night. So that's just fueling my anxiety more.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,247
Originally Posted by ReadyAtLast
Hi darkling song. It is a horror. My whole body is aching especially my back and neck and head. On a positive note I feel so physically bad I don't want to drink now but I know that will pass in a few days and then it gets really difficult. Hope you feel a bit better as each day goes by. The anxiety is awful isn't it but it does ease and if not maybe see your doc?
Do you have a plan ? I'm really trying to focus on that this time as have failed before. It's just the bare bones at the minute but I will expand on it.
Wake up feeling grateful to be sober
Eat as healthily as possible
Drink water
Exercise each day even just a walk and do more as I get stronger.
Try to stay calm.
Learn how to let resentments go including the resentment that I can't drink
Be grateful for what I have.
Change habits. Plan to do stuff when I would normally drink
See sobriety as a positive not a negative
Just live each day trying not to think back or project forward.
I know it gets better I'm just scared.
Do you have a plan ? I'm really trying to focus on that this time as have failed before. It's just the bare bones at the minute but I will expand on it.
Wake up feeling grateful to be sober
Eat as healthily as possible
Drink water
Exercise each day even just a walk and do more as I get stronger.
Try to stay calm.
Learn how to let resentments go including the resentment that I can't drink
Be grateful for what I have.
Change habits. Plan to do stuff when I would normally drink
See sobriety as a positive not a negative
Just live each day trying not to think back or project forward.
I know it gets better I'm just scared.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Originally Posted by soberjim
Some great advice there. Especially the part about waking up sober and being grateful.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,246
Linners, hang in there.....it will get better, that much I know from past periods of sobriety.
Ready at Last.....thats a great plan. I might borrow some of it.....especially the bit about gratitude and letting go of resentments. I actually didn't realise just how and resentful and bitter I had become until recent weeks. There are days I could explode with anger and frustration. I don't- usually I drink. I am middle aged and unfit so kick boxing is out as an alternative! Definitely going back to some vigorous walking though.
I love to read so I am going to adult up and finally accept I need reading glasses.
The last few times I have woken up, sick and broken with a hang over and thought for fxxx sxxx, you are way to old for this cxxp. Enough. I really want to start acting and feeling like a grown up.
Ready at Last.....thats a great plan. I might borrow some of it.....especially the bit about gratitude and letting go of resentments. I actually didn't realise just how and resentful and bitter I had become until recent weeks. There are days I could explode with anger and frustration. I don't- usually I drink. I am middle aged and unfit so kick boxing is out as an alternative! Definitely going back to some vigorous walking though.
I love to read so I am going to adult up and finally accept I need reading glasses.
The last few times I have woken up, sick and broken with a hang over and thought for fxxx sxxx, you are way to old for this cxxp. Enough. I really want to start acting and feeling like a grown up.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 421
Thanks guys. I'm scared. Really scared. I need to get to more meetings and build a network of people I can trust to talk to, and work on reaching out for help before I drink. Asking for help is something I struggle with.
I like the plan, ReadyAtLast. So many simple things that can add up to make a real difference. The resentment thing--I can relate to that. Especially in regards to not being able to drink. It's ridiculous--I know that drinking is not adding anything positive to my life, but then I get bent out of shape that I can't do it normally, so I drink in part to prove to myself that I CAN do it in a controlled manner. Or something like that. It's just not working.
I like the plan, ReadyAtLast. So many simple things that can add up to make a real difference. The resentment thing--I can relate to that. Especially in regards to not being able to drink. It's ridiculous--I know that drinking is not adding anything positive to my life, but then I get bent out of shape that I can't do it normally, so I drink in part to prove to myself that I CAN do it in a controlled manner. Or something like that. It's just not working.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Welcome to all you guys
iLikeMarmalade1
SuzesSobriety
DarklingSong
Firefly36
PinnacleOR
Megynn
Linners
SoberJim
Ekohe
Try not to be too overwhelmed - all any of us needs to do tomorrow is what we did today - don;t drink or drug and live a little
If you're feeling weak remember none of us does this alone - there really is strength in community
D
iLikeMarmalade1
SuzesSobriety
DarklingSong
Firefly36
PinnacleOR
Megynn
Linners
SoberJim
Ekohe
Try not to be too overwhelmed - all any of us needs to do tomorrow is what we did today - don;t drink or drug and live a little
If you're feeling weak remember none of us does this alone - there really is strength in community
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 1,543
Day 4
Yesterday was a strange but better day. Upon reflection I was lucky to have been working from home.
I stumbled into it having had about two hours sleep since giving up and started to work away in the study, eyes red raw and body hurting with cramps and soreness across my entire core. I couldn’t do anything except work as I couldn’t move and my mind refused for me to go to sleep. So I literally got a weeks worth of menial admin done in about six solid hours.
Finally my body shut down and I went to lie in the bed and got three hours solid sleep - woke with pain easing across my core so I dared a small walk outside that turned into a 4 mile slog fest. It felt good to be alive again.
Came home - ate - then fell asleep for another three hours! Woke feeling even better and worked in my study again until 2.30am whilst posting and reading SR - went to bed thinking “no chance I’ll get to sleep again” and I’ve just woke up again now at 7.30am (BTW I’m in the UK).
So I’m at Day 4 and I’m amazed to say I almost feel ‘normal’? Pain has gone. Tremors are abating tremendously. I’m almost hopeful?
We can all do this!
Regards,
JT
Yesterday was a strange but better day. Upon reflection I was lucky to have been working from home.
I stumbled into it having had about two hours sleep since giving up and started to work away in the study, eyes red raw and body hurting with cramps and soreness across my entire core. I couldn’t do anything except work as I couldn’t move and my mind refused for me to go to sleep. So I literally got a weeks worth of menial admin done in about six solid hours.
Finally my body shut down and I went to lie in the bed and got three hours solid sleep - woke with pain easing across my core so I dared a small walk outside that turned into a 4 mile slog fest. It felt good to be alive again.
Came home - ate - then fell asleep for another three hours! Woke feeling even better and worked in my study again until 2.30am whilst posting and reading SR - went to bed thinking “no chance I’ll get to sleep again” and I’ve just woke up again now at 7.30am (BTW I’m in the UK).
So I’m at Day 4 and I’m amazed to say I almost feel ‘normal’? Pain has gone. Tremors are abating tremendously. I’m almost hopeful?
We can all do this!
Regards,
JT
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 1,543
In addition:
It’s great but sad to see some familiar ‘names’ on here from my SR past - ReadyAtLast, DarklingSong, Strawberry. Great because I know you - Sad because we’re in a new class again for one reason, addiction or another.
I don’t know the rest of you yet but I’ll follow every post with interest and support wherever I can. As Al Pacino said in the great speech from Any Given Sunday “We’re in Hell right now”. It’s a great speech for those that don’t get offended by the odd bit of adult language and can be found on YouTube. Essentially it’s about being a team and fighting together - which we can do right here.
We will not drink today.
JT
It’s great but sad to see some familiar ‘names’ on here from my SR past - ReadyAtLast, DarklingSong, Strawberry. Great because I know you - Sad because we’re in a new class again for one reason, addiction or another.
I don’t know the rest of you yet but I’ll follow every post with interest and support wherever I can. As Al Pacino said in the great speech from Any Given Sunday “We’re in Hell right now”. It’s a great speech for those that don’t get offended by the odd bit of adult language and can be found on YouTube. Essentially it’s about being a team and fighting together - which we can do right here.
We will not drink today.
JT
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Morning everyone. Well it is in the here in the uk 😀
Hi forester and strawberry.
Thanks for the words of advice dee. I didn't mean to overwhelm anyone yesterday with my post. Just getting through the day not drinking is a huge achievement especially in the early days. Happy birthday for ladt week too ☺
Day 4. I still feel physically rough although marginally better than yesterday. I am on an activity holiday till tomorrow with my son and have exercised far more than normal this week. In one way it's keepingoing me active though probably harder due to withdrawal.
I agree darkling about the resentment thing. I find myself playing through situations in my head. Last week I thought someone was really off with me and play it round and round in my head building up resentment and anger. It's only bothering g me though no one else and such a waste of energy. I read on another thread here just to acknowledge the resentment turn it into something positive and be at peace. Suppose it takes practice but think it works.
I'm in my mid 40s too and my anger and resentment is internalised.
How are you linners ? Please don't be scared. As dee says just take each day as it comes and stay on sr . We are all in the same boat.
How are you getting on jt ? hope all is ok.
Hope every has a good day whatever day it is. ☺
Hi forester and strawberry.
Thanks for the words of advice dee. I didn't mean to overwhelm anyone yesterday with my post. Just getting through the day not drinking is a huge achievement especially in the early days. Happy birthday for ladt week too ☺
Day 4. I still feel physically rough although marginally better than yesterday. I am on an activity holiday till tomorrow with my son and have exercised far more than normal this week. In one way it's keepingoing me active though probably harder due to withdrawal.
I agree darkling about the resentment thing. I find myself playing through situations in my head. Last week I thought someone was really off with me and play it round and round in my head building up resentment and anger. It's only bothering g me though no one else and such a waste of energy. I read on another thread here just to acknowledge the resentment turn it into something positive and be at peace. Suppose it takes practice but think it works.
I'm in my mid 40s too and my anger and resentment is internalised.
How are you linners ? Please don't be scared. As dee says just take each day as it comes and stay on sr . We are all in the same boat.
How are you getting on jt ? hope all is ok.
Hope every has a good day whatever day it is. ☺
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 143
Hey all! Hope everyone is well and staying sober! Today marks me being 3 months sober. Something I thought inconceivable when I was deep in that endless and hopeless cycle of addiction. I'm feeling pretty confident and upbeat about staying sober, but I'm also very cognizant regarding relapse - it only takes one sip and you're back. But no way do I want to go back to that. Being sober is a million times better than being drunk!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 7
Good day!
I don't have too much time to post, but I read all of your posts since joining and it's nice to meet everyone.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and the journey.
Yesterday went surprisingly well. I thought I'd change things up a bit under my circumstances. So, got a haircut and shaved and arrived at work early and I'm feeling pretty upbeat.
All of the posts are very encouraging and supportive, so again, thanks to all.
Cya for now!
I don't have too much time to post, but I read all of your posts since joining and it's nice to meet everyone.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and the journey.
Yesterday went surprisingly well. I thought I'd change things up a bit under my circumstances. So, got a haircut and shaved and arrived at work early and I'm feeling pretty upbeat.
All of the posts are very encouraging and supportive, so again, thanks to all.
Cya for now!
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Glad to hear you had a goid day I like marmalade. Sometimes it's the little things go that really make a big difference and make us feel so much better. Hope your today is another good one.
Thanks for the post cat lover. Congrats on your sober time.
Just at swimming with my son although I am just watching as struggling to move 😨 feel pretty peaceful which is positive. Just keeping on keeping on.
Thanks for the post cat lover. Congrats on your sober time.
Just at swimming with my son although I am just watching as struggling to move 😨 feel pretty peaceful which is positive. Just keeping on keeping on.
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