Sunflowerlife

I hope you have a good visit with the counselor today PW...

I am also very glad that you are enjoying the keto way of eating. I made probably one of my best keto meals last night- I surprised myself, no recipe to follow and it turned out so good! I had eaten only 2 net carbs by dinner so I was able to eat a hefty amount of veggies for dinner. I did not feel deprived at all! For me I find I struggle when I get bored with my meals. There are only so many eggs I can eat in a week! Last night reminded me that keto does not have to be boring

Sunflowerlife

I hope more than anything that you were able to enjoy it rather than tack on feelings of guilt and shame. If moderation] works for you, that is all that matters. Wishing you a craving free day! Does your husband know that you are struggling with your diet and trying to avoid things like chocolates?

venuscat

OK... a lot to read s

"She believes that recovery is all about making peace with the foods we have restricted and kept off limits. That releasing the shame, guilt and fear of these foods is what leads us to recovery."

Gulp...not sure if I should be versing my opinions here....but I agree. This is my truth....how it worked for me. I don't have any off-limit foods other than the allium family which will kill me.

But that's just me.

venuscat

Like the amazing lovely person that you are.....

venuscat

Also....I haven't shared....I believe your therapist is spot-on murrill
Self-awareness has been key to me....and after being on this rollercoaster on and off for so many years, I have been able to plug back in to my skills. So I am getting healthier every day again, and feeling proud of my food choices rather than a prisoner to them.

I am ready to get out and exercise again...it has been too cold for an Aussie outside....yes....I am a woos.... And I have a treadmill too. I am weird....I need to get on a good food path and feel a little better before I can get the exercise motivation happening. But it has kicked in now.

Wishing you all a good day....or a better day. ♥♥

Sunflowerlife

I expressed my thoughts in the sugar addiction group this morning run by Bitten Jonsson(the sugar addiction specialist) on FB and am getting a lot of great feedback. She believes that all binge eaters are food addicts. I personally think that perhaps there are 2 groups of binge eaters- ones who can learn to moderate and ones who have to abstain. This makes more sense to me. Still processing all of this...its a lot to absorb!

murrill

The more I read, the more confused I become. I believe that, for me, sugar is addictive. I think that I crossed the line to the point that I cannot moderate it. As an alcoholic, I am very aware that the two drugs are molecularly similar. Also, diabetes runs in my family, so sugar already represents a potential problem. Beyond that, I am stymied. When I quit drinking I had some behavior dysregulation: I overspent, I ate too much (not just sugar), I smoked even more than before. Over time, I quit smoking (a definite addiction), and I modified other behaviors. Other than cigarettes, was I addicted? I'm not so sure. I think that my "stop" mechanism is impaired.
I am indifferent about alcohol and spending and cigarettes; I have no emotional attachment. That is where I want to be with food. Maybe I don't meet diagnostic criteria for addiction to all these foods (sugar notwithstanding). If I were in an AA meeting and heard someone say these things about alcohol, I would put money on them getting ready to drink again. I just don't know.
Anyway, I appreciate that this is a place where I can talk it out with people who understand. Also, as I eat more healthy foods my digestion has improved. I have a history of IBS, so it delights me when my plumbing is functioning well.

Sunflower79

Sunflowerlife

I can relate to that. No one would ever know by looking at me that I am a compulsive overeater. I am athletic and at a normal weight and as far as I know do not have any health issues. I think you are doing a great job trying to figure this all out- we all are! It takes time, patience, faith and trust in the Universe that the right things will come at the right time. I am very proud of you for every step you have made...

Sunflowerlife

THIS is exactly what my intuition is telling me. I had a thought today that perhaps it is like alcoholism in that because it is a progressive disease, once you reach a certain point there is no going back.

I have been binging for 15 years. I think I have done some significant damage to my brain and reward system and that moderation most likely will not work for me. Because not only was it 15 years of food, it was 20+ years of sugar from alcohol.

But perhaps someone who has only been binging for, say, a year, they would be able to reverse the damage by learning how to eat intuitively.

Just a thought.
I appreciate all of you so, so much.
I am the type of person who can only gain clarity through contemplation, discussion and input from others. It's how I get the messages I am meant to hear and between this group and the FB group, I am feeling much better about the whole thing.

I'm on day 2 of keto again and I feel so good. I'm starting to pray that I can hold onto this feeling for good. Perhaps abstinence is the only way for my body and perhaps that is not as scary as it seems. I have surrendered it all to the Divine at this point- whatever happens is up to God. I know I will get the message I need to hear to move forward on this journey. I do think I have a lot of emotional healing to do, and that's what I got from my breathwork yesterday and from talking on the phone to a dear friend today (thank you Suze.) I need to remember this isn't 100% about the food. There is so much healing I need to do...so, so much.

P.s I've had headaches 2 days now from the dairy and stevia withdrawal. How crazy is that??

Sunflower79

PeacefulWater12

This is EXACTLY where I am at.

My binge eating started mid teens. I am now 55. Like alcoholism it most definitely have got progressively worse. Now there are so many foods that are triggers for me. They built and built over time. For a long time I could just cut out refined sugar and I was fine. Cravings stopped and I was able to remain binge free for a while, but I eventually always went back to binge eating.

Now my poor body is so battered, it is sensitive to anything vaguely sugary or carbie. It will react and sent my mind and behaviours crazy.

Hence why for me, the only way I will get peace and comfort is to 100% abstain from all sugars (including fruit) and carbs as they bring unhappiness, illness and depression to me.

Comparing again to alcoholism - I am at rock bottom.

I have two choices. Carry on with sugars and carbs and become bigger and bigger and bigger along with a load of health problems or abstain.

I can not be in the middle. Again like with my drinking. I cannot just drink a couple glasses. It is all or nothing.

I thought up schemes and plans to try and allow me to eat my trigger foods safely. It does not work. I ate organic, only at certain times, made all sorts of rules, I was vegetarian for 13 years, I tried all manner of so called healthy eating plans (they were healthy for others but not for my particular body), lots of so called healthy foods are triggers for my body. Oatmeal springs to mind as an example.

They do not work.

As I have said I am feeling very well living the Keto plan BUT even within this, I cannot allow myself to eat the keto friendly bars, breads, cakes etc as they WILL trigger me. The only safe foods are the natural non-processed foods as nature intended.

Well actually that is not accurate, I could eat all these things but the consequences are completely unacceptable to me.

I like being slim, lean, fit and having a quiet mind. Knowing I have a sold and safe food plan. Having a world that is open and available to me instead of it being shutdown as I am in my head obsessing about whether to have ice cream or whatever trigger food I am obsessed with at the time.

Wow, quite a passionate post. It is where I am at. Choice of eating sugary stuff which tastes good for a few moments but then opens up the whole depressing binge cycle. Or eating delicious keto foods that are warm, comforting, satisfying, fuelling, mood stabilising, life enhancing.

PeacefulWater12

I thought that too. That the person is not ready to surrender and needs to go out and practise some more.

Sunflowerlife

Day 3 and feeling great.
About to do some cycling and then work from 7-3.
Have a great day everyone.

Sunflowerlife

Or this is how a person processes their thought and feelings, in order to come to the right conclusion

I didn't make this idea of intuitive eating up. Just google "sugar addiction" and you will find people who support the theory and people who say it doesn't exist and that the more you restrict certain food groups, the more you will want to eat them. I've been keto for 2 years and still binging. So as a natural response I thought, maybe I am doing this wrong? Keto is amazing in how it makes me feel. But it will not heal my diet mentality and that is the problem.

Having said that, I will stick with what I know and that is that I feel much better when I don't eat sugar, grains, and now even nuts, stevia and cheese. I have to somehow find a way to heal my disordered view of my body and food at the same time. I might look for a counselor to help with this.

Sunflower79

WaterOx

Hey guys. Thought I'd report in with a post. The past week has been distressing and so I caved and bought a pint of Ben & Jerrys a couple days ago. Wish I could say it was very fulfilling.

Still planning to cut down the coffee (and hence the sugar) very soon. At the moment, I'm planning to plan the plan for that. haha

I do hope you're all well.

Sunflowerlife

Hey friend-
I am feeling pretty awesome with no cravings or plans of messing this up. As soon as I started worrying about not being able to enjoy the foods I like, God gave me the inspiration for two amazing recipes. Eating a delicious salad at work right now with black soy beans which are low carb and filling!

Tomorrow will be a challenge and I need to prepare-we have a good friend visiting. Haven’t seen him in several years and he is an overeater so we basically used to drink and binge together. Going to order Mexican I think. I will have to make sure I am careful and prepared for any cravings. I’ll keep you posted.

How did you do post Valentines Day??

Sunflowerlife

Hey WaterOx. I’m sorry about the dessert. It was one of my favorite binge foods too. I also find I don’t even enjoy what I eat anymore past the first and maybe second bite. Then it’s just a waste of my energy, time money and of course well being.

Hope you are feeling positive about cutting out the coffee. I am cutting back from one (large) to two cups with only almond milk. So far so good!

Happy Weekend

Sunflower79