Artists in Recovery Part 2
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,745
Hi out there. I have been really excited this week because I have an opportunity to learn some new skills. Things I have been wanting to learn since I was 12 years old. I know I am being secretive about the specifics (it's not too hard to figure out) but that is mainly because I am just not ready to talk about it, in case I don't follow through or I jinx it or something.
This is really a post about self esteem and constantly being told I couldn't do what I knew I could and my feelings of invisibility. It is a man's world. It really is. It took me about 25 years, but I am here and I am finally crawling out of the shadow that I was lost in. I always felt like I wouldn't be taken seriously (and I wasn't every time I tried) and I knew the exact way I wanted to do this (and I was questioned and dismissed every step of the way) and I proved myself in every way that I could and put myself out there until they couldn't unsee me. And then someone saw my potential and gave me a loophole.
And now I have worked my way up to the bottom. Now I have earned the right to start as a novice. So I will prove myself and make them see me and then I will be the woman who wouldn't listen to no.
This is really a post about self esteem and constantly being told I couldn't do what I knew I could and my feelings of invisibility. It is a man's world. It really is. It took me about 25 years, but I am here and I am finally crawling out of the shadow that I was lost in. I always felt like I wouldn't be taken seriously (and I wasn't every time I tried) and I knew the exact way I wanted to do this (and I was questioned and dismissed every step of the way) and I proved myself in every way that I could and put myself out there until they couldn't unsee me. And then someone saw my potential and gave me a loophole.
And now I have worked my way up to the bottom. Now I have earned the right to start as a novice. So I will prove myself and make them see me and then I will be the woman who wouldn't listen to no.
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Hi, Plenny!
Very happy for you!
I am on business trip and I am exhausted every day and after 30 days of consecutive writing I broke my chain and didn't write for 3 days. Yesterday I fought back my inches, but it's going to be challenging anyway.
See you)
Very happy for you!
I am on business trip and I am exhausted every day and after 30 days of consecutive writing I broke my chain and didn't write for 3 days. Yesterday I fought back my inches, but it's going to be challenging anyway.
See you)
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,745
Hi there, good job fighting back the inches. I know it is hard for me too to start up again after I break.
In fact, after this most recent piece was finished, I badly wanted to zone out for two weeks and just watch bad TV. But I'm gritting my teeth and starting this next painting. Inch by inch.
I already have two more commissions lined up! I am not charging a whole ton of money yet because it is for friends, but I think that keeping up the practice and the word of mouth can only help!
In fact, after this most recent piece was finished, I badly wanted to zone out for two weeks and just watch bad TV. But I'm gritting my teeth and starting this next painting. Inch by inch.
I already have two more commissions lined up! I am not charging a whole ton of money yet because it is for friends, but I think that keeping up the practice and the word of mouth can only help!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,745
Ooof! I had no time to myself over the long weekend so I kicked everyone out yesterday so I could clean my house/studio and clear my head. I turned off my phone. I slept pretty well. Now, to the desk to continue work on a piece I've had on the list for MONTHS! Must finish it
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Hi, artists.
How's everyone doing?
My business trip really threw me off the routine and I am struggling big time to get myself back on track.
I feel out of control and I hate this feeling.
How's everyone doing?
My business trip really threw me off the routine and I am struggling big time to get myself back on track.
I feel out of control and I hate this feeling.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: US
Posts: 16,908
Thanks for checking in, MB....I wanted to get into graphic design a while back but then my priorities got all f-ed up....so I've been trying to practice Illustrator, etc. It's so intimidating to see the awesome work that's out there, but I have to remember not to compare myself to others.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,745
Hey all, I'm still recovering from my last slip and although I feel better and stronger psychologically, I am still putting the pieces back together. So much recovery time and work time lost. Not worth it.
Ok I'm trying out this postimage.org to see if it will help me share some art.
Here's a drawing I did long ago when I felt overwhelmed by my life and the habits and circles I was running in
Ok I'm trying out this postimage.org to see if it will help me share some art.
Here's a drawing I did long ago when I felt overwhelmed by my life and the habits and circles I was running in
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Hi, Plenny.
Sorry to hear about your slip.
But the recovery work is NOT lost.
Some of the elements went off track. You need to identify which one.
You drawing outstanding - profound and multifold.
Keep battling for those inches - they matter both in sobriety and in creative work.
Sorry to hear about your slip.
But the recovery work is NOT lost.
Some of the elements went off track. You need to identify which one.
You drawing outstanding - profound and multifold.
Keep battling for those inches - they matter both in sobriety and in creative work.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,745
Thanks so much MB. I am not discouraged anymore. But I am counting days this time. 8 Days! I think my head is clear enough to start working again soon. Hopefully in the morning.
Phoenix J that is great news! I loved school so much and I went as an adult, with fewer distractions and less ego than my younger fellow students. I got a LOT out of it. I'm excited to hear updates
Phoenix J that is great news! I loved school so much and I went as an adult, with fewer distractions and less ego than my younger fellow students. I got a LOT out of it. I'm excited to hear updates
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