Class of May 2016 Support Thread Part 12
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Des Plaines
Posts: 98
Originally Posted by joandmelandhan 
Hi John and welcome back!
Its always a great relief to see a familiar name return.
11 days is a great start and hopefully a lot of the physical withdrawal nasties have worn off. How are you feeling?
I was a yo-yo relapser for a good 18 months after joining here John. I just couldn't see how I was ever going to break free of it. It eventually took terrifying withdrawal for me to accept that this thing was never going to get any better, I had no control, my future was bleak. I was done and ready to do everything in my power to stay sober.
I do read and post on SR every day with out fail either here, on the 24 hour thread or just adding my support to the threads of others. It has literally been my lifeline. I hope that you are able to establish the level of support you need on your journey too.
I look forward to seeing more of you around xxx
Its always a great relief to see a familiar name return.
11 days is a great start and hopefully a lot of the physical withdrawal nasties have worn off. How are you feeling?
I was a yo-yo relapser for a good 18 months after joining here John. I just couldn't see how I was ever going to break free of it. It eventually took terrifying withdrawal for me to accept that this thing was never going to get any better, I had no control, my future was bleak. I was done and ready to do everything in my power to stay sober.
I do read and post on SR every day with out fail either here, on the 24 hour thread or just adding my support to the threads of others. It has literally been my lifeline. I hope that you are able to establish the level of support you need on your journey too.
I look forward to seeing more of you around xxx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 973
Hi friends 
This is the first time I've been here in a long time. Still not sober I'm afraid. But not completely off the rails either. Somewhere in between playing with fire. I find myself remembering the sober me and wanting to give it a go but then I feel as if I'm kidding myself. 1 year sober. 10 year + not.
In other news....my son is in jail for 5-10 years, I'm semi-happily separated, and I have another new job with a lot of opportunity for growth. Some good, some bad.....all real, real life.
This is the first time I've been here in a long time. Still not sober I'm afraid. But not completely off the rails either. Somewhere in between playing with fire. I find myself remembering the sober me and wanting to give it a go but then I feel as if I'm kidding myself. 1 year sober. 10 year + not. In other news....my son is in jail for 5-10 years, I'm semi-happily separated, and I have another new job with a lot of opportunity for growth. Some good, some bad.....all real, real life.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: 45th Parallel, Michigan
Posts: 816
Good Lord, I wonder who else might be dropping by?! Welcome back, you guys; glad to hear from both of you.
Hang out and read all the Mayfly excitement that's been happening around here. Elke has gone missing of late, but she's probably lurking somewhere, maybe chasing sheep?
Please keep us up to date; Jojo and I are beginning to repeat ourselves with our stories, but that doesn't stop us from posting...
Simples: PM me if you feel like gossiping!
Hang out and read all the Mayfly excitement that's been happening around here. Elke has gone missing of late, but she's probably lurking somewhere, maybe chasing sheep?
Please keep us up to date; Jojo and I are beginning to repeat ourselves with our stories, but that doesn't stop us from posting...
Simples: PM me if you feel like gossiping!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 4,553
Sim darling!!!!
How wonderful to see you!
You've had a hell of a lot going on sweetheart. That's the thing about life it does it's thing regardless....
You can do it again you know. I believe in you Sim ❤❤❤
How wonderful to see you!
You've had a hell of a lot going on sweetheart. That's the thing about life it does it's thing regardless....
You can do it again you know. I believe in you Sim ❤❤❤
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Des Plaines
Posts: 98
Hey all, just checking in-I hope the weekend was good for everyone.
I'm glad I made it past the last two days. I was a a grad party Saturday and my daughter ended up staying with the grandparents that night so it was a test for sure. I took a step toward getting some counseling services but it may be a few weeks before realization of that. There is an AA meeting close to me at noon tomorrow (today) so I might just have to go to that, it would be my first one. I don't think my thoughts are 100% on line with theirs but I know its a good organization and it can't hurt.
I assume anyone can go and show up, right?
-John
I'm glad I made it past the last two days. I was a a grad party Saturday and my daughter ended up staying with the grandparents that night so it was a test for sure. I took a step toward getting some counseling services but it may be a few weeks before realization of that. There is an AA meeting close to me at noon tomorrow (today) so I might just have to go to that, it would be my first one. I don't think my thoughts are 100% on line with theirs but I know its a good organization and it can't hurt.
I assume anyone can go and show up, right?
-John
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: 45th Parallel, Michigan
Posts: 816
Morning, John--congrats on getting through the weekend sober! Down time is always a test for me; even at 14 months, I'll still have a sudden flash of thought: "Hey, I could..." They come out of nowhere, and make me go a little pale until my 'real' brain kicks in.
I hope you decide to go to your noon meeting; if nothing else, you need to see what a meeting is like, and break the ice, so to speak. I'm old, and did my first rehab at 25, so half my life I've known all about AA meetings! But walking into your first one can be intimidating, and you need to see how laid back and welcoming they really are. And it's perfectly acceptable to say, "hi, I'm John, I'm just listening today." For me, even though I don't work steps, they can simply be a reaffirmation of my decision to stay sober, and a chance to meet real live people who are on the same path. So I really hope you go, and tell us your thoughts!
Hello out there, Jo Caramel Elke Ben Sim (and Dee, of course!)
Check in soon, you know how we worry...
I hope you decide to go to your noon meeting; if nothing else, you need to see what a meeting is like, and break the ice, so to speak. I'm old, and did my first rehab at 25, so half my life I've known all about AA meetings! But walking into your first one can be intimidating, and you need to see how laid back and welcoming they really are. And it's perfectly acceptable to say, "hi, I'm John, I'm just listening today." For me, even though I don't work steps, they can simply be a reaffirmation of my decision to stay sober, and a chance to meet real live people who are on the same path. So I really hope you go, and tell us your thoughts!
Hello out there, Jo Caramel Elke Ben Sim (and Dee, of course!)
Check in soon, you know how we worry...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 4,553
Hi gang. Sorry I've not posted in a couple of days.
Not to sound like a broken record but this break-up has hit me hard. My depression has really ramped up and I'm simply frightened of the future. He did get in touch and we are meeting tomorrow to talk but I fear it is just to confirm that it is indeed over and to arrange the final move out.
If only I could think straight and objectively but right now I just want him back. But then I also don't want to be asked to make all the compromises and start off resentful, back where this whole sorry mess started *sigh*
I was very close to throwing the towel in on Friday night but I just couldn't start again. Couldn't throw my almost 10 months away. It wouldn't make everything better anyway. I'd still be in the same lonely place but remorseful and hating myself.
I hate the pathetic desperate side of me but I am accepting of the fact that my life skills are limited. I let things build up and then bam! I explode in a fit of rage that carries on until every bit of venom is out. That isn't easy to live with.
But I have a lot to offer the world and if this is indeed then end then at least I will know and will be able to start the process of grieving for what could have been.
I could never face this unless I was sober so my gratitude for that is as strong as ever.
Goodnight all
Not to sound like a broken record but this break-up has hit me hard. My depression has really ramped up and I'm simply frightened of the future. He did get in touch and we are meeting tomorrow to talk but I fear it is just to confirm that it is indeed over and to arrange the final move out.
If only I could think straight and objectively but right now I just want him back. But then I also don't want to be asked to make all the compromises and start off resentful, back where this whole sorry mess started *sigh*
I was very close to throwing the towel in on Friday night but I just couldn't start again. Couldn't throw my almost 10 months away. It wouldn't make everything better anyway. I'd still be in the same lonely place but remorseful and hating myself.
I hate the pathetic desperate side of me but I am accepting of the fact that my life skills are limited. I let things build up and then bam! I explode in a fit of rage that carries on until every bit of venom is out. That isn't easy to live with.
But I have a lot to offer the world and if this is indeed then end then at least I will know and will be able to start the process of grieving for what could have been.
I could never face this unless I was sober so my gratitude for that is as strong as ever.
Goodnight all
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: 45th Parallel, Michigan
Posts: 816
((Jo))
I'm sorry you're not ready for this relationship to be over. I wish you had more confidence in your abilities to work and parent and live a complete life without reliance on someone else. I understand lonely, I live alone and always have. But I also know I couldn't deal with any adult in my home who caused resentment and anger to build up to explosive levels; tolerating that just to have a warm body nearby isn't a fair trade for me.
I really doubt that your "life skills" are as poor as you claim they are! I think you're doing an incredible job of raising two teenage girls on your own and supporting them and yourself, and staying sober while you do it. I truly hate the idea that you'd consider getting drunk over a BOY! As we've already learned, boys are stupid...
Be well, my friend, and try to think of yourself the way that other people most surely see you -- strong, capable, loving, and kind.
Arp
I'm sorry you're not ready for this relationship to be over. I wish you had more confidence in your abilities to work and parent and live a complete life without reliance on someone else. I understand lonely, I live alone and always have. But I also know I couldn't deal with any adult in my home who caused resentment and anger to build up to explosive levels; tolerating that just to have a warm body nearby isn't a fair trade for me.
I really doubt that your "life skills" are as poor as you claim they are! I think you're doing an incredible job of raising two teenage girls on your own and supporting them and yourself, and staying sober while you do it. I truly hate the idea that you'd consider getting drunk over a BOY! As we've already learned, boys are stupid...
Be well, my friend, and try to think of yourself the way that other people most surely see you -- strong, capable, loving, and kind.
Arp
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 4,553
Oh Arp thank you!
I promise I won't drink over a BOY! Haha!
He's due here in about half an hour. Yes I am nervous but not to the point of silly anxiety levels.
Deep down I know how it will go and I'm already sad.
Oh well.
I'll check in when I can.
I promise I won't drink over a BOY! Haha!
He's due here in about half an hour. Yes I am nervous but not to the point of silly anxiety levels.
Deep down I know how it will go and I'm already sad.
Oh well.
I'll check in when I can.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Des Plaines
Posts: 98
Originally Posted by Arpeggioh
Morning, John--congrats on getting through the weekend sober! Down time is always a test for me; even at 14 months, I'll still have a sudden flash of thought: "Hey, I could..." They come out of nowhere, and make me go a little pale until my 'real' brain kicks in.
I hope you decide to go to your noon meeting; if nothing else, you need to see what a meeting is like, and break the ice, so to speak. I'm old, and did my first rehab at 25, so half my life I've known all about AA meetings! But walking into your first one can be intimidating, and you need to see how laid back and welcoming they really are. And it's perfectly acceptable to say, "hi, I'm John, I'm just listening today." For me, even though I don't work steps, they can simply be a reaffirmation of my decision to stay sober, and a chance to meet real live people who are on the same path. So I really hope you go, and tell us your thoughts!
Hello out there, Jo Caramel Elke Ben Sim (and Dee, of course!)
Check in soon, you know how we worry...
I hope you decide to go to your noon meeting; if nothing else, you need to see what a meeting is like, and break the ice, so to speak. I'm old, and did my first rehab at 25, so half my life I've known all about AA meetings! But walking into your first one can be intimidating, and you need to see how laid back and welcoming they really are. And it's perfectly acceptable to say, "hi, I'm John, I'm just listening today." For me, even though I don't work steps, they can simply be a reaffirmation of my decision to stay sober, and a chance to meet real live people who are on the same path. So I really hope you go, and tell us your thoughts!
Hello out there, Jo Caramel Elke Ben Sim (and Dee, of course!)
Check in soon, you know how we worry...
(I'm working from home and have weird hours). I'm planning to go to either the same meeting next week or one in the next day or two. Hope you all are doing well.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 4,553
Hi sweetie pies.
Everything went remarkably well. We communicated like adult human beings with care and consideration for each other. It felt good to talk properly rather than bicker and point score. I am very relieved. We are reconciled and making changes to be more caring and helpful to one another. So far so good!
I am not shouting from the rooftops, more relieved and happy to have my best mate back. Onward with stability and hope.
Have a lovely day gang. I am on maths revision duty again!
Everything went remarkably well. We communicated like adult human beings with care and consideration for each other. It felt good to talk properly rather than bicker and point score. I am very relieved. We are reconciled and making changes to be more caring and helpful to one another. So far so good!
I am not shouting from the rooftops, more relieved and happy to have my best mate back. Onward with stability and hope.
Have a lovely day gang. I am on maths revision duty again!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 4,553
Hi gang.
Back to posts of a more steady nature. You know - the ramblings of little old me!
Strange old day today. First off my boiler is officially kaput and I need a new one - £1,400 gulp! Plus not until Tuesday so it's cold showers for the next 5 days so the girls are not happy at all! Thank goodness its not winter!
Unfortunately poor Hannah had a bit of a disaster in her maths exam today. She panicked and sounds like she didn't do well at all. I'm gutted for her but of course I have hugged her and told her how proud I am of her and supplied some ice-cream to take the sting out of it. She has another 2 exams tomorrow and then it is a week off before it all starts again. So just tonight then she can recharge her batteries a little.
I'm off to the gym in the morning. Back to it with my friend from work and we are lunching afterwards (something healthy of curse!). It's so nice to have even just this little bit of a social life. I isolated myself completely when I drank so I am grateful for each little step in the right direction.
How is everyone doing?
Have a lovely sober and free day dears xxxxxxxxxxx
Back to posts of a more steady nature. You know - the ramblings of little old me!
Strange old day today. First off my boiler is officially kaput and I need a new one - £1,400 gulp! Plus not until Tuesday so it's cold showers for the next 5 days so the girls are not happy at all! Thank goodness its not winter!
Unfortunately poor Hannah had a bit of a disaster in her maths exam today. She panicked and sounds like she didn't do well at all. I'm gutted for her but of course I have hugged her and told her how proud I am of her and supplied some ice-cream to take the sting out of it. She has another 2 exams tomorrow and then it is a week off before it all starts again. So just tonight then she can recharge her batteries a little.
I'm off to the gym in the morning. Back to it with my friend from work and we are lunching afterwards (something healthy of curse!). It's so nice to have even just this little bit of a social life. I isolated myself completely when I drank so I am grateful for each little step in the right direction.
How is everyone doing?
Have a lovely sober and free day dears xxxxxxxxxxx
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Des Plaines
Posts: 98
Hi all - I went to my first AA meeting today. Everyone was nice and we sat at two big tables. A lot of the attention was put on me since it was my first meeting and they turned it into a step 1 meeting at our table. They gave me phone numbers at the end if i needed to talk to anyone and some literature as well.
I'm not sure if it will be something i commit to, but it is good to know that its there.
I'm not sure if it will be something i commit to, but it is good to know that its there.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 4,553
John that's great!
I went to AA for about six months in 2016 and really found it very helpful. An open mind is all you really need at this stage I'd say. I have regrets for not sticking with it but with 2 lively girls it was simply too much to commit to. Having said that I took a lot of good things away with me that continue to help me maintain my sobriety.
I'm relieved and happy that at last I am contented and calm once again. This week coming up is half term holiday for the girls so I am taking Melly up to my parents tomorriw and she is staying there for the week. Hannah is studying from home and I am working from home to keep an eye on her.
Just brewing my morning coffee before the day begins. Aah sober Saturday mornings are an absolute favourite of mine!
Have a lovely day Mayflies and of course Jess the dog and Lady Gaga!
❤❤❤❤❤❤
I went to AA for about six months in 2016 and really found it very helpful. An open mind is all you really need at this stage I'd say. I have regrets for not sticking with it but with 2 lively girls it was simply too much to commit to. Having said that I took a lot of good things away with me that continue to help me maintain my sobriety.
I'm relieved and happy that at last I am contented and calm once again. This week coming up is half term holiday for the girls so I am taking Melly up to my parents tomorriw and she is staying there for the week. Hannah is studying from home and I am working from home to keep an eye on her.
Just brewing my morning coffee before the day begins. Aah sober Saturday mornings are an absolute favourite of mine!
Have a lovely day Mayflies and of course Jess the dog and Lady Gaga!
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Des Plaines
Posts: 98
Jo - It sounds like you are doing quite the good juggling act with the household. I know its harder when the kids are on break from school.
Sober on a Saturday night here...I haven't said that too many times in the last 20 years(or any night for that matter), but its gotta be a trend moving forward.
Sober on a Saturday night here...I haven't said that too many times in the last 20 years(or any night for that matter), but its gotta be a trend moving forward.
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