ShenzyT

Awh - big hugs.
I felt very ashamed coming back on aswell - but I'm so glad I did.
Well done on day 11.
xxx

tgirl

Another 24 please

Tinker B

It's still the 1st here up in Qld!
Thanks for all the kind words and messages lovely people, it means a lot, truly

julietUK

Good morning everyone. Please count me in for another 24 hour sober please.

Today I am celebrating 4 weeks sober! I can't believe how different I feel. I really believe this 24 hour recovery connection has helped me a lot. Its the first thing I do when I get up and I feel it sets me up for the day.

Thank you being here. I couldn't do it without you.

soberista

You and me both Juliet. Xx

ShenzyT

Same here Juliet
I couldn't do it without being here.
Well done on 4 weeks.

lilymaz

In for another 24

ShenzyT

Good Morning from NE of Scotland, it's 9.00am here.
Signing up for another 24 hours of being sober....
Love this group so much.
x

Gabe1980

Another 24 hours for me please.

A massive Congratulations to all our milestoners!!! We newbies are putting together some great sober time now and it's so lovely. I'm so proud of all of us! 💗💗

I feel massively grateful today for lots of things but most especially for being sober and for this thread. It's scary still to think of life without alcohol but it's getting easier day by day. I'm starting to have faith and a sense of spirituality and it feels safe and beautiful. Gabe x

Gabe1980

Oh TinkerB, I had tears in my eyes reading your post.

I, for one, don't care what name you post under so long as you post. I've relapse 4 times since August and have come crawling back each time. I know lots of others have too. NO SHAME HERE! Only love, compassion and support. Everyone understands. Don't feel bad, it'll make me feel bad, and I feel great! Love to you T. Gabe xx

Canadian Koala

Congratulations to everybody reaching a milestone today!
24 more please!

Thanks
____________
Merci la vie ☼

soberista

Morning ShenzyT

soberista

^^^This

gatorman

In for 24 more please!

Dee74

Welcome back TinkerB

a bumper list today of milestoners - congratultions

QuitNow ~ 1 week! ♥
Donnie34 ~ 4 weeks! ♥
julietUK ~ 4 weeks! ♥
Angie247 ~ 8 months! ♥
Jeni26 ~ 2 years!! ♥
bandicoot2 ~ 2 years & 1 month! ♥
Delilah1 ~ 2 years & 1 month! ♥
Mark1014 ~ 3 years & 4 months! ♥
Coldfusion ~ 5 years & 3 months! ♥

D

kenton

No shame in relapsing TinkerB... everyone falls, what's awesome is what happens after you stand back up. I think you're brave, strong and fabulous. Keep going, you're doing great.

So I have a bit of a dilemma.... yesterday my brother phoned me and said one of my sisters has been saying some pretty awful stuff about me behind my back. It's been going on for about 2 weeks apparently. None of what she's been saying is true. I spoke to a mutual friend last night and my sister has spread lies about me to her too.

I got pretty upset about it last night and this morning my overriding feeling is one of confusion. I don't understand why she's saying this stuff about me. I understand that when I was drinking I was no doubt a major pain in the neck but I've been sober for 15 months now.... I know I haven't done anything wrong. In fact, I've been worried about this sister because I know she suffers from mood swings so I've been phoning her regularly to check up on her and I've spent a lot of time listening to her problems etc.

So, my dilemma is. ... what do I do now? How do sober people react to stuff like this? Do I turn the other cheek, let her carry on spreading lies in the hope she'll get bored soon and no one will believe her? Or do I confront her and try to keep my temper in check?

I've always had a turbulent relationship with this sister, something I've often blamed myself for. She has this weird sense of entitlement and thinks she should always have more than me. In the past she's stolen boyfriends and money from me. The thing is, I always had a problem with alcohol so every time she did something awful to me, I'd get drunk, react ridiculously and strengthen my position as the family lunatic. My reaction would always outshine whatever she did to provoke me in the first place.

I'm not that person anymore... something that most people are starting to see. I'm aware that happy people don't spread lies about another human so I know my sister is unhappy and hurting but am I supposed to just take this? Is it time to call time on our relationship? I know drunk people sever family ties, do sober people do it too?

Last night I was so upset by what she's been saying about me, I couldn't read my book of inspirational quotes. Already her behaviour has started to throw me off course. My sobriety has to remain my priority and I don't want to risk that. Not for anything or anyone. I know I need to remember my signature...'new day, new attitude'... I'm just not sure what that attitude is.

Sorry for writing a novel. I'm pretty churned up ... I don't know who in the real world she has spoken to about me and who believes her lies. Once again, I'm turning to you.... my awesome cyber family.

Congratulations to everyone celebrating a milestone today. 24 more for me please xxxx

Dee74

Hi Kenton

it might not be the popular response but the very best thing to do is nothing. It's not your dog - why walk it?

I know its hard to let it go, but those who really know you, know how great you're doing.

If you drop yourself down to her level, noone wins.

D

soberista

First of all its these things that are a test of your strength however you have said "I always had a problem with alcohol so every time she did something awful to me, I'd get drunk, react ridiculously and strengthen my position as the family lunatic." but now "I'm not that person anymore... something that most people are starting to see. " That's the bit to focus on. You're not that person anymore so now you need to get a strategy together for dealing with these things now you're not that person anymore. My advice would be to sit down and write down how all this has made you feel. Write it all down. How you are dealing with things now, how great you feel, how this drama she is creating is of her own imagination and you are not subscribing to it anymore. Ask why she feels the need to create these stories about you. And then I would go, with my script in hand, take a deep breath and read it to her. See what she says and if she has any explanation. Until then I perhaps dont think you can decide one way or another what you decide to do next.

After my father died 3 years ago I realized how toxic and narcissistic my mother was. I went into counselling and as a consequence have no contact with my mother now. Im 52. My sister still has contact with my mother but she has told me that mum never liked me. This has all crawled out of the woodwork in the last 3 years. You never know but your sister may have some issues too that she is hiding from you. Perhaps your wonderful sobriety and strength is making her feel vulnerable and inadequate. Perhaps the way she is making you feel is actually a mirror of the way she is feeling and for her to deflect it to you removes the spotlight from herself. Without wishing to be rude I wonder if its not really about you but she makes out its that way and now you can see it for what it is. Before you gave her a reason to justify it. Now I am writing a novel!

Neoo

10:15am...24 more please...Love and Congrats to all today

joandmelandhan

Wow Kenton that's a toughie for sure.
I suspect there are people in the world (your sister being one of them) that don't cope too well with "new you" (or me or any of us). They have gotten so used to your position in the pecking order of life as being "the one who reliably and regularly f***ks up".
Plus in my experience women can be strange creatures. I'd love us to all be cheerleaders for one another but I just don't experience that in real life. Take my diet. Honestly - they are all offering me cake and biscuits multiple times a day! Why? Then if the miracle happens and I shed some weight I just know some will say I looked better fat! Strange creatures indeed.....
This smacks of just not coping with your change and more than a touch of the green-eyed monster Kenton.
BUT what the heck do you do? In an ideal world sit her down and call her out on it sounds like the textbook option but would it do any good? Surely she needs to know that:
1) You know damn well what she's said
2) What she has said is absolutely not true
3) You're not prepared to put up with it any longer
4) You lover her dearly but this has to stop

I'm sorry this has happened Kenton sweetheart. We are behind you all the way no matter what you do (or don't) decide to do xxx