Originally Posted by PhoenixJ

Engine de-greaser works a treat for cleaning crap (including double sided tape adhesive) off inside walls.

Originally Posted by Dee74

Hi Kenton

it might not be the popular response but the very best thing to do is nothing. It's not your dog - why walk it?

I know its hard to let it go, but those who really know you, know how great you're doing.

If you drop yourself down to her level, noone wins.

D

Originally Posted by soberista

First of all its these things that are a test of your strength however you have said "I always had a problem with alcohol so every time she did something awful to me, I'd get drunk, react ridiculously and strengthen my position as the family lunatic." but now "I'm not that person anymore... something that most people are starting to see. " That's the bit to focus on. You're not that person anymore so now you need to get a strategy together for dealing with these things now you're not that person anymore. My advice would be to sit down and write down how all this has made you feel. Write it all down. How you are dealing with things now, how great you feel, how this drama she is creating is of her own imagination and you are not subscribing to it anymore. Ask why she feels the need to create these stories about you. And then I would go, with my script in hand, take a deep breath and read it to her. See what she says and if she has any explanation. Until then I perhaps dont think you can decide one way or another what you decide to do next.

After my father died 3 years ago I realized how toxic and narcissistic my mother was. I went into counselling and as a consequence have no contact with my mother now. Im 52. My sister still has contact with my mother but she has told me that mum never liked me. This has all crawled out of the woodwork in the last 3 years. You never know but your sister may have some issues too that she is hiding from you. Perhaps your wonderful sobriety and strength is making her feel vulnerable and inadequate. Perhaps the way she is making you feel is actually a mirror of the way she is feeling and for her to deflect it to you removes the spotlight from herself. Without wishing to be rude I wonder if its not really about you but she makes out its that way and now you can see it for what it is. Before you gave her a reason to justify it. Now I am writing a novel!

Originally Posted by joandmelandhan

Wow Kenton that's a toughie for sure.
I suspect there are people in the world (your sister being one of them) that don't cope too well with "new you" (or me or any of us). They have gotten so used to your position in the pecking order of life as being "the one who reliably and regularly f***ks up".
Plus in my experience women can be strange creatures. I'd love us to all be cheerleaders for one another but I just don't experience that in real life. Take my diet. Honestly - they are all offering me cake and biscuits multiple times a day! Why? Then if the miracle happens and I shed some weight I just know some will say I looked better fat! Strange creatures indeed.....
This smacks of just not coping with your change and more than a touch of the green-eyed monster Kenton.
BUT what the heck do you do? In an ideal world sit her down and call her out on it sounds like the textbook option but would it do any good? Surely she needs to know that:
1) You know damn well what she's said
2) What she has said is absolutely not true
3) You're not prepared to put up with it any longer
4) You lover her dearly but this has to stop

I'm sorry this has happened Kenton sweetheart. We are behind you all the way no matter what you do (or don't) decide to do xxx