BrightenMeUp

Good Sunday morning everyone!!

Checkin in on day 26. Still tired, im hesitant to say my sleep is getting a bit better. I try to get in an hour nap when possible. Exercising hard (mostly weights). Had a hiking trip planned for today but I think the rain here in Pa. has other ideas. Maybe some fishing in rain gear is in order.

Wishing the best to all of you going through tough times... Positive thoughts to you guys!! And also a congrats to you guys doing well and keepin your course.

Thanks

Brighten

SoulShine8

Checking in. Still in panic mode but I'm here. ready45 sending good vibes your way. I'm trying to think forward about a time when I can come in here and be on a more even keel. My ruminating thoughts are crowding most everything out though. I don't know what I would be doing if I didn't have here to come to. I read through threads for hours last nite to try and calm myself and it did help some. I see myself in so many others' posts and wish I could say something to help or just hug them. I sympathize over and over with others. And also crave what the long sober have - a bit of peace.

bobdrop

After a marathon day 1, on to day 2. Less talk, more action.

Soberwaitress

Joining up, late....but here I am. This is day 2, don't have a lot to say yet. Sending out positive, sober vibes to the group

LuluBread

Whendovescry
Your post stirred up some memories for me. Counting the hours of the day, days out of the week, the weeks out of the month, to the months out of the year. And the stretches of sober days. Saturday, but definitely not Sunday (don't want a hangover on Monday).
"Scheduled" drinking. Not literally scheduling, but allowing myself the freedom to drink occasionally; giving myself the ok to drink sometimes.... Ultimately "I" was fooling "MYSELF".

Not much more to say today, but just feel drained...and still have alcohol bloat. My pants are way too tight.

Wishing you all a safe and sober Sunday...

If you're going through hell, keep going. -- Winston Churchill

LuluBread

Welcome Soberwaitress.
Bobdrop - actions speak louder than words...way to go!
Soulshine - it does get better,....5 deep breaths for now

waxfruit

I'm going to try and make this as simple I can possibly describe.
Pain is my trigger. Always has been.
So, my aunt, who was more a mom to me growing up and her kids have always supported me and were more siblings than my own,, well, one of my cousins is getting married today and no one told me. My 5 brothers and sisters and their partners are all going. My mom knew and always has known her sister, my aunt, and has always been a mother figure to me.
They just left and just told me. I'm sure my cousins assumed I knew. I live with my parents for god sake. This is horrible and I am pissed! I'm sick of this outcast bs.

waxfruit

And there is no"back story" to why. Im first generation in this country and I have old school, old thinking parents. I am shame to them.

Sunflower84

Waxfruit - **** that is a tough one! So sorry to hear this! There's nothing I can say to make this better obviously but please don't let this mess things up for you. You're doing well and looking after yourself, fixing yourself so please do not let this or anything mess that up.
You are worth succeeding and being happy and healthy!

Here if you need to chat and sorry again to hear you going through all this!!!

K x

rmeatgt350

Wax, just an idea here...maybe take that pain and let it motivate you? Become someone you know no one can feel ashamed of (I am not saying they are or should be ashamed of you) but I'd like to think I'd use that experience to steal my resolve to be the best person I could be. Stay strong.

One my end, I have a small challenge tonight. Cook for friends, a recipe using wine. The irony. I'll be fine, I'm not drinking.

Dee74

Hi wax

I'm sorry that you've been shut out.

I'm the outsider in my family.

Drinking never did a damn for me tho with either physical or mental pain.

I still don't get invited to many family events - the difference is now I don't ask whats wrong with me, I think what's wrong with them?

D

Viperidae

A good day today. I got a lot of errands done. I’m eating. I’ll watch Walking Dead later. It’s not like it used to be, but it’s still ok.

Viper

waxfruit

Thanks Dee-
Thanks Kit-
I fell asleep shortly after posting that, thankfully so. Id be lying if I said I'm not a little bummed, my cousins live out of state, but I'll get a hold of them tomorrow. Didn't want to disrupt or mention anything tonight, that's for sure. It is what it is.
And as for my parents, they never liked "anything " about me. Their embarrassed that I work with animals. Smh... They cried more than me after my divorce and still bring it up-15 years later.
Whatever... I'm actively looking for an apartment. This chapter will soon be over.
Have a good night everyone and Thank You-

waxfruit

Kit-
I'm sorry you're not feeling well. I think sometimes too the weather change effects my mood. Be easy. You're doing really well.
I've had days where I've woken up feeling hung over. It usually has happened after a stressful previous day.
Hope you and everyone has a good evening and wake up feeling fresh.

Also, yogurt at night may be helping me sleep better? I saw the warm milk post and was thinking maybe there's something to milk products.
See you tomorrow Group!
Much Love
Peace

LuluBread

Sorry to hear this...I know how you feel. It feels like **** at first. I came to a conclusion that, WOW...to hold a grudge for so long or to disown your sister (or any family member) is really harsh. And that they must think it's ok. That to me is weird. And that's why moving back to Texas is easy for me. Since I've been here in CA (5 weeks) my mother is the only person who has called to talk to me. I've gotten over the empty hurt and look at it as something very strange about a family to take to shunning. Anyway, you're doing great here. Keep on taking care of the animals, it's a beautiful thing. Stay in tune with your goals, be of value to yourself....and then you will be a success. Rise above it Wax!

badgerden

Hang in there SoulShine, I feel you are getting stronger, your posts seem to have less "desperation" in your words. Keep checking in, we are here for and with you!

Kit- Hope you are feeling better!, maybe you need more Zygi hugs and loves.

Wax - Sounds like a change of residence is just the thing, fresh start, your own place. I admire how you are handling all the issues, keep posting!

Viper- I used to watch the Walking Dead, up until oh season 5 or 6, than it just became to dark, and overly violent for me. Put me to dark of a place, so I had to stop.

Good luck and have fun with your dinner RMeat, I know you can do it!

LuLu, Bob, and to the rest of the October 17 class hope your day was wonderful, and tomorrow will be even better!

I had a wonderful day with husband, we went to Boise and got some shopping done, had a date night dinner at the Olive Garden, now home kicked back and watching the world series.

Tomorrow and Tuesday are my days alone and historically big drinking days for me. I am taking Kit's advice and spent some time today thinking of what busy work I can come up with, and the list is endless! Also thinking about adding different flavors of water to my routine. Has anyone tried or make those water fruit infusion drinks? ( I hope that is right anyway). Nothing heavy like a smoothie, but clear like the lemon water. I could make a pitcher of that and keep that in reach all day.

Take care all! Luv ya!!!

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BigShoe

Hey everyone Welcome waitress and others joining before we turn the calendar.
Keep struggling till it’s not a struggle.
Returned from fall camping on at the Olympic peninsula. Splendid. Only made it due to my sobriety. Packing would usually take place during a binge and never completed and weekend in bed or couch would sound better. Easier to drink. Not this time. I pretty much packed everything, got us there, home and unpacked all by myself . It was nice that my wife acknowledged this as she was drinking and experiencing the moodiness that accompanies the drink. Feeling good that I can get things done.
Camping under old growth foliage was tremendous. Watching leaves fall is my new favorite pastime. Had all these thoughts of death and renewal. Was very pretty. Plus we were next to a river. Man, we may be poor to most but have rich experiences. Wasn’t all awesome with some of the moods came tears and misunderstandings but I was sober and could still enjoy my surroundings even though the situation wasn’t the best. Moving on.,,,

badgerden

Love your post big shoe. Sounds heavenly plus the fact you can remember all of it! You are indeed a rich man!

Badge

Juno11

This thread moves quickly! Hope all are doing well.

Badgerden, I can't believe you have already watched most of the episodes of Stranger Things 2!! I still have only watched the first episode but am really looking forward to the rest. I am also watching the World Series (for the first time) tonight. I love baseball and it makes me happy, though I'm not invested in either team. Earlier this evening my son and I watched the movie "Child's Play" from 1988. It was a fun scary movie for Halloween.

I will hit my one month soon on Nov. 3. I'm sure I'm going to make it because I have good plans and strategies in place now and have not had cravings. I've got a trip to CA this week with my son, so I will be away on the one month date. It will be exciting to hit one month, even though it's not the first time I've managed that. Still, I'm actually very happy about it.

Take care everyone - I will check in when I can!

DreamCatcher17

October is nearing to an end!! Sure, I may have 2 days where I could screw it all up, but honestly for me I can say that's not going to happen!!! I have made it this far into October without a totally crazy session, well, drinking session. I did manage to have a breakdown, and I feel a lot better after having it. I'm back to working out, made it 6 days this week that doesn't include the 2 days of raking and bagging 15 huge bags of leave, I'm going g to be so sore tomorrow. I'm not even finished with them, I still have 8 piles to bag and more raking to do tomorrow after work. Hey, it beats being drunk and lazy, so I'll appreciate it the best I can!

Good night ya'll