Ananda

I'm still reading, but I had to post this real quick and will get back after my meeting....

Kenton - if you have not watched the show "Fear Thy Neighbor" don't do so now!!!! Just know that involving the police early on is a very good idea!!!!!!

I can't stand Zombie movies and shows, but I do love a lot of apocalypse type stuff!

A must see is "The Post Man" with Kevin Costner. It is such a good look at myths, how they arise and what is like for those who are the subject of them. I think it must be like this for most people who become beloved by the masses... It's long and it makes me cry every time.

Be back in a bit I hope.

Dee74

Hi Plenny

I'm not an employee here but as far as I know the app is history and it's not coming back.

The owners recommend the mobile version of the site now.

D

Plenny

Yeah, unfortunately the mobile version is not very intuitive at all. But, that's what I'm using right now because guess what... I can't log in on my laptop anymore. It's not a question of knowing my password. It will not let me log in. It might be a while before I see y'all again. I'm going to try to not let this thing totally out of my power frustrate me so much.

It's bad timing as well. I'm going to my friend's wedding out of town. I am not feeling strong. And I am not patient enough for playing games with a website right now. I feel locked out of a safe space and my friends are inside

Dee74

I'm really sorry for all the log in problems. If I could fix them I would, but I can't.

I use Pale Moon browser which is based on Firefox and I've never had a problem.

There are some other suggestions in this thread,

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...in-issues.html

Can you take your phone with you and check in that way, Plenny?

Please don't let your addiction use something like this against you.

D

Poppy79

I use google Plenny and don't have any issues either. On an iPhone 6.

badgerden

Plenny, do you have any other go to apps that can help calm your mind, get focused again? And we will always be with you one way or the other.

My work week has started, three 12 hour shifts in a row,,,,, oh why cant I win the lottery,,,

Badge

kenton

Just a quick hello to say I've just got back from the wedding. I drank sparkling elderflower and pomegranate all day which was delicious. The wedding was beautiful and no one noticed or cared that I wasn't drinking. No one got really drunk and it made me realise how much drunker than everyone else I must have been on so many occasions. They'd made so much effort to make the day special and I noticed all the little touches. Again, in my drinking days I wouldn't have noticed very much other than the location of the bar. The bride's family is Australian and 26 Australians had made the long journey over. It was amazing to find myself seated with people who live so far away, to learn about their lives. Being sober means I'm far more interested in finding out about other people and other people respond well to this. My family and I have lots of people to visit now if we ever get to Sydney! It's been such a wonderful weekend and I know that if I was still drinking, it wouldn't have been. If I was still drinking, that beautiful day would somehow have become tainted with something ugly.

Plenny, hope you are ok. I'm thinking of you and praying you stay strong.

Fingers crossed for a lottery win Badge..... failing that, sending loads of love and strength for the three 12 hour shifts xx

Thank you for your lovely words Steely, love you so much. You too Poppy and Kev and Dee. Don't know what I'd do without you guys. You're the best of the best xxxx

kenton

And you too Nands, I love you loads. The Post Man sounds great, I'll watch that but give the neighbours programme a miss!! Xxx

Poppy79

It's weird Kenton, I watched a show on tele last night called 'nightmare neighbour' and it's filmed in the U.K. Kept thinking of you and your situation.
The neighbours under attack had to install CCTV to record the abuse, keep logs of dates and times, kept calling the housing council and police to keep a further record of the abuse. It appears like you have to prove to the authorities that these horrid people are actually being horrid. One case it was multiple neighbours being abused and it still took ages for the police and council to take action. I hope it doesn't take as long for you.
Gotta run and get ready for work. Meh! Will check in later
xoxo

Ananda

Shhhhh Poppy! Don't tell her that

Plenny - I am becoming a lot more open to sometimes missing the trip on some things ... open my mind to possibility and being ok with "I don't know" and "could be" .... so ....

You know we are all really right there with you. If you glance through the corner of your eye you will see us. You can feel a hand upon your shoulder and feel a whisper in your ear. And don't be frightened because perhaps it is Us ... walking with you through everything.

I may write a lot more weird stuff for a while. I'm not high or drunk, and not crazy. I just am finding that I need to be willing to know I don't know everything. The whole thing of the deer is in the woods behind my yard whether I know it or not. It doesn't require my acknowledgement. On the other hand ... if I'm not thinking of something in any particular moment ... in a way it really doesn't exist .. at least not for me. That sounds crazy, but no more than some of the stuff that we all have agreed is reality

I'm rethinking some things now about how I should spend my time. Here is good. But I want to make some major changes to my life in November or so. My health is demanding it. Of course it has been doing that for a long time, but now I am willing to listen ... maybe.

With assistance, I am somehow going to skip, dance and maybe even find a way to ride a bike... perhaps with training wheels. I'm going to write more poetry, sing more songs, and give more love.

One of the sutra's we use to chant at the temple had a last line that says "Don't waste time". I really feel that I can no longer waist time. And I don't mean clean, scrub and set high overly reaching goals... I mean to savor every minute.

I remember when I got out of the hospital a year ago may, and I realized that I didn't know the last time I was dancing was the last time I would dance; that the last time I rode a bike would be the last time; that the last time I walked with out a assistance .. would be just that.

I don't mean that in a negative way, and many things are getting better enough that I will be able to do some limit versions of many things. But wow! How I would have savored those moments had I known.

OK .. so I have carried on quite a bit. Bare with me as I work through this. I am now going to go out side and see if I can catch a glimpse of a Manatee swimming though the woods.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=geVZYCcAdBc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2D3YF1vAsk

kenton

Hey Nands, I just had to Google manatee! I learn so much from you guys. Your post reminded me of something I heard once which was basically, "if a tree falls over in a deserted wood, does it make a sound?" If no one is there to see or hear stuff, is it really happening? I love having these kinds of thoughts. I think of it as aerobics for my brain and it always leads to really interesting conversations. The whole tree falling over in the woods split my work place into 2. Half the people I work with thought the crashing tree wouldn't make a sound if no one was there to hear it. I disagreed. But how can we prove it?! You're so right about savouring every moment Nands. Every day is such a precious gift.... even the days that don't feel like it.

I've watched that Neighbours from hell programme Poppy and yes, it's very hard to get the police and courts to take action. The police here are sympathetic because I've got young kids and the abuse is yelled out in front of them but even when I get him recorded, he'll probably just get a police caution. Like I said the other day, I believe everyone comes into your life for a reason. I'm still not sure what I'm learning from these neighbours from hell, other than an interesting over use of swear words but maybe one day it will all become clear.

I'm going to take Ananda's advice and savour every moment of this life and that means turning a blind eye and turning the other cheek whenever they start to rant. And doing everything I can to get them recorded. It's midnight and I'm off to bed. Have a great morning in Australia, afternoon in USA, evening in Germany and morning/afternoon/evening everywhere else xxx

Poppy79

Maybe they are in your orbit to teach you how to ignore their nasty words and rise above them. It must be testing your patience. You have more patience than I do. Lol. I sat here last night yelling at the Tele at the injustice shown on the show. Can't imagine what I would do in real life but I have a sneaking suspicion I would match their insults with some heavy gauge come backs. Something I should work on, I can be a touch volatile when I find a situation wrong or unfair.
Kudos to you though for not taking their bait.

kenton

You could be right Poppy.... They may be in my orbit to teach me patience. Sounds weird but when my AV gets bad I picture it as a person. I picture it as being the most vile of the nightmare neighbours. It helps me to shout back at my AV when I picture it as someone I detest. So maybe that is the purpose of my neighbours from hell. They are unwittingly helping me beat my AV!!

Very quiet here today. Hope everyone is doing great xxxx

Ananda

Hi there!

checking in! Hope all are well. Had an interesting Group business meeting last night. You know I miss how it was when I came in and we would go after a meeting for coffe or to someones house and watch a movie... or spend a Saturday night at Pixie's house playing board games or charades. The people of the home group are upset cause we aren't getting many people coming to the meeting (so we can meet rent and coffee costs). then one woman went on a rant cause the "young people's meeting" is growing and we need to figure out how to get people "back".

I told them about how we don't do activities or candle light meetings or all sorts of things that would draw people.

There was a lot more crap stuff that was talked about, but mostly it just struck me as crazy that people tend to look to really complex "group" answers to problems that can be so easily solved by just changing one's own actions. This all started cause someone didn't like how a meeting was handled, and all she really needed to do was when the leader said "does anyone have a topic" pipe up with one.

Anyhow, I'm gonna check out the young peoples meeting. It might be that I will enjoy it more than where I am now. I use to go to those type of meetings on occasion when I was in my late 20s, and there were always a number of old farts there .... I think of it as the young at heart meetings

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9RchGMmizg

Poppy79

Morning all,
I'm yet to really try an AA group, there is one near my place on a Friday night but by the time i get home from work I am too tired to go. I like to keep possibilities afloat (like AA) in case I need more reinforcement. In hindsight I could see my last blip coming for a mile but I chose to ignore it or I stupidly assumed I had this addiction licked. Will not be making that mistake again no sirree!
I hope the younger group is great Nands. No doubt they will appreciate an older and wiser person to seek advice from I know I would.
How you doing Plenny, Badge, Steely and everyone else? Someone mentioned Solly recently, I hope all is ok there. I loved the handle Sollythegolly. Made me chuckle every time I saw it lol. I just chuckled then.
Have a wonderful day everyone. You guys (should I say girls) are truly amazing and I would be lost without all of you xx

Steely

Just checking in. I have done my back in really badly after lifting a heavy pot plant, and I did bend from the knees. I can hardly move. The pain is awful and no way can I unpack or move stuff.

The bloke with 31 years sober has turned out to be a complete control freak even telling me what I needed to 'keep' and what I needed to throw out. He threw stuff without asking me. More than that, but can't go into it.

I've heard it heard it said that length of sobriety does not necessarily equate with good sobriety. The assertion has been proven. Boundaries are up.

Kenton, apologies for my soppy post I'm pretty emotional at the moment with all that has been going on.

Going to lie down again, and standard pain melds don't cut it and don't want to take anything stronger which could become available to me if I asked a friend or two. No way. Hope it improves.

This bloke even asked me how long I had been sober and that he would know if I was LYING! What business is it of his, and secondly why would I lie?

Ananda

Poppy -

Yeah, I like to keep options open as well. Also, sometimes going to AA is just to remember what it was like (if a newcomer is there and sharing) or to remember there are other sober people in the world. One idea though that I'll throw out... you might want to go to one or better 2 in the near future. That is just so you will feel more comfortable going when you really feel you need extra support. Sometimes its hard to go if you either have never gone or go very very rarily. The way I use to do it is go once a month for birthday night just to keep my toes in the water.

Steely (hug) - that was a virtual reality hug (as chris calls them) .. so it won't hurt you.

You know you might see if you can see a doctor. I don't know how your health care system works over there. I know that if I don't treat the pain via a doctor I am suseptable at times to medicate myself with alchohol. I also learned to take pain meds (even asprin and such) as soon as the pain becomes clearly to be becoming a problem. In general, if you wait till the pain is really bad...it takes more medication just to knock it back to a manageable level at a normal dose.

Yeah - there are some pretty sick people in AA (of course there are everywhere really). sometimes people put people on pedistals in AA and think they do no wrong. That is not fair to the other person as they can't help but disappoint us from time to time. (same with friendships for that matter). One of the sayings in AA is "sober up a horse theif and you have a sober horse thief." It is the work on ourselves that we do after we have sobriety that changes us from the horse thief to a horse borrower to a horse trainer over a period of time.

It still bugs me that I have trouble with lying when I feel frightened or threatened. I am getting better at catching it, but it seems to be a really strong defense mechanism I have developed that must have served me well at one time ... not much use for it today.

Love you all and so great to be back in the grove again!

kenton

Blimey Steely, he threw your stuff away?? What the hell?? And yes, what's it got to do with him how long you've been sober for?? And he'd know if you were lying??? Apologies for blatant overuse of question marks but I'm at a loss trying to understand people. These humans that walk amongst us but are so freaking odd. So many times these days I hear or see something and I just have the word "why???" taking up my entire head. I think I must have a permanent quizzical look stuck on my face. Maybe I didn't notice all the odd behaviour when I was drinking but I certainly notice it now. My new policy is to keep myself to myself, try to look less confused when confronted by oddness, devote all my energy and love to those that deserve it and keep my dicta phone ever ready to record random, unprovoked incidents of verbal abuse. It's a good policy
Steely, I'm worried about your back. Can you get to a doctor? A cousin of mine suffers from back trouble and I know from him how painful it is because he's the kind of guy that never moans about stuff so when he says how much pain he's in, I know it's serious. I hope you can see a doctor or a chiropractor or someone who can help you Steely. Sending you loads of love xxx


Poppy, you sound so great. Sounds like you've learnt loads from that very minor blip. And by sharing what you've learnt, you're helping all of us and anyone lurking too. Totally awesome Poppy xx
Nands, like Poppy I think the younger group will love to have you join them and be very lucky to have you.

Hope everyone is doing ok. I just fell asleep watching Game of Thrones and I know that when I fall asleep watching Game of Thrones, I must be tired so I'm off to bed. Does anyone else watch it by the way? I love it and not just because there's dragons. Anything with dragons is good in my world. Maybe I'll get a dragon tattoo...hang on, isn't that a book?? I'm going to sleep before I get all quizzical again and start going overboard with question marks. Night/morning/afternoon everyone xxxx

Steely

Can't reply to anyone at the moment as in too much pain and being a friend difficult. No way in the world will I drink Nands, the pain of drinking outweighs everything.

Love to all.

Steely

That bloke just came in without knocking.