Class of November 2016 Support Thread Part 8
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 2,256
Not gonna lie Plenny, the guy you're sharing with; the heavy drinker who snores and cranks up the TV and leaves the bathroom in a state, I'd hate living with him too. But the overriding feeling I get from your post is hope. You've got a plan. You won't be living there forever and after what you've gone through, think about how amazing having your own place will be.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Queensland
Posts: 568
Morning all 
I hope everyone is doing great this Easter long weekend. I've had a couple of moments where I have seriously thought about getting a btl of vino or 10. They are fleeting but still scary. I know I won't drink anytime soon but I am worried about getting more distance between my last blackout and having my determination/sobriety slip.
That said, I have never been happier either. Everything is going great. Which is also a bit scary, it's like I am half expecting something will happen to shatter this happiness.
Off for my morning walk/jog. Clear the mind. I plan on selling some clothes on eBay so that will keep me busy today no doubt.
Stay sober friends xoxo
I hope everyone is doing great this Easter long weekend. I've had a couple of moments where I have seriously thought about getting a btl of vino or 10. They are fleeting but still scary. I know I won't drink anytime soon but I am worried about getting more distance between my last blackout and having my determination/sobriety slip.
That said, I have never been happier either. Everything is going great. Which is also a bit scary, it's like I am half expecting something will happen to shatter this happiness.
Off for my morning walk/jog. Clear the mind. I plan on selling some clothes on eBay so that will keep me busy today no doubt.
Stay sober friends xoxo
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 2,256
Getting spooky how often I read something on here that completely resonates with how I'm feeling! I have had an amazing day with my kids but when we were walking home I suddenly panicked that a car might drive up onto the pavement into them. No cars were speeding; it's not even a busy road. I don't know where the fear came from. Then later I read your post Poppy about half expecting something to happen to shatter your happiness and I think I feel the same. It's almost as though I can't properly allow myself to fully enjoy life because the moment I do, I'm scared everything will be taken away from me.
Then when I thought about it a bit more, I realised my dad was exactly the same. He never liked embracing life to the full for fear of something bad happening and he held this view right up until his alcohol-related death. Maybe it's one of the ways alcoholics view the world? I don't know. All I do know is I'm finally learning that I can challenge my alcoholic thinking and fears. I know bad stuff has happened in my past and I know bad stuff may happen again. After all, very few people get through life without experiencing bad stuff. And if it does happen in the future, I'll deal with it then. But for now, whilst it's not happening, I intend to take all this happiness and enjoy every last bit of it.
Enjoy your run and have fun on ebay. Off to bed now. Wishing everyone happy dreams/day
Then when I thought about it a bit more, I realised my dad was exactly the same. He never liked embracing life to the full for fear of something bad happening and he held this view right up until his alcohol-related death. Maybe it's one of the ways alcoholics view the world? I don't know. All I do know is I'm finally learning that I can challenge my alcoholic thinking and fears. I know bad stuff has happened in my past and I know bad stuff may happen again. After all, very few people get through life without experiencing bad stuff. And if it does happen in the future, I'll deal with it then. But for now, whilst it's not happening, I intend to take all this happiness and enjoy every last bit of it.
Enjoy your run and have fun on ebay. Off to bed now. Wishing everyone happy dreams/day
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Queensland
Posts: 568
The slight panicky feeling is quite freaky isn't it Kenton. Logically I know bad stuff can happen to anyone, does happen to anyone. No point in stressing about the future what ifs, but these sporadic moments of impending doom are eye opening.
I think I have it ingrained in me that when my life used to be quite good, I would ruin it by drinking. Over and over. Now that cycle has stopped I need to realise life can be good for extended periods of time I'm not mucking it up. Yay for me! Yay for us all.
I think I have it ingrained in me that when my life used to be quite good, I would ruin it by drinking. Over and over. Now that cycle has stopped I need to realise life can be good for extended periods of time
I'm not mucking it up. Yay for me! Yay for us all.
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 2,256
Definitely yay for you! You explained that perfectly. I always sabotaged the good stuff by getting drunk. It makes sense that it's going to take time to understand that the good stuff doesn't have to get ruined. It can last. So happy I finally decided to choose team sober. Every day I'm learning new ways in which it's so much better than the alternative xx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Florida
Posts: 298
Never thought I'd say this, but I've been spending some time watching and reading Tony Robbins, and his method for approaching life with a positive attitude.
I'm a sarcastic, thick-headed guy, and I've always brushed off this type of thinking. Well, we see where that line of thinking got me. And what do you know...now that I'm clear-headed, Mr. Robbins actually makes sense.
I'm a sarcastic, thick-headed guy, and I've always brushed off this type of thinking. Well, we see where that line of thinking got me. And what do you know...now that I'm clear-headed, Mr. Robbins actually makes sense.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Queensland
Posts: 568
I've been meaning to get acquainted with Tony Robbins videos. I'd like to be an optimist rather than a pessimist. Think I am slowly making progress shifting my outlook, and the removal of alcohol makes it achievable.
It's bloody great being sober. I wish I had of done this years and years ago.
It's bloody great being sober. I wish I had of done this years and years ago.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 126
Happy Easter
I say "happy" but honestly ever since my mom passed away, there is like this cloud of depression for me on every holiday. I dread them. I do find joy through my children but even with that I get sad because she is unable to see them. And most of all I think of my dad. I cannot begin to put into words the gut wrenching sadness I have on every holiday/significant day when I think about my dad and the pain he must have.
I'm totally with you guys on the feeling of impending doom. I get it constantly and can totally relate to being afraid of something like a car running off the road and hitting my kids.
I know a lot of mothers of babies place their hands on the babies back to make sure they're still breathing. I still do that and my "baby" is 8.
I constantly think I get a whiff of something burning and then imagine the house is going to burn down.
Almost every time I drive somewhere more than a couple of miles away, the possibility of getting into a horrible a wreck enters my mind.
In my case I don't think alcohol is not related. I was a chronic worrier as a child as well. I'm sure it played into why I love drinking so much though. I could finally relax without having intrusive thoughts. I thought that quitting drinking would help a lot more than it has actually.
Well I'd say I'm going to stop myself while I'm ahead but I know I've already gotten a little too deep into the darkness. So I'll stop before I reach the Mariana Trench.
I say "happy" but honestly ever since my mom passed away, there is like this cloud of depression for me on every holiday. I dread them. I do find joy through my children but even with that I get sad because she is unable to see them. And most of all I think of my dad. I cannot begin to put into words the gut wrenching sadness I have on every holiday/significant day when I think about my dad and the pain he must have.
I'm totally with you guys on the feeling of impending doom. I get it constantly and can totally relate to being afraid of something like a car running off the road and hitting my kids.
I know a lot of mothers of babies place their hands on the babies back to make sure they're still breathing. I still do that and my "baby" is 8.
I constantly think I get a whiff of something burning and then imagine the house is going to burn down.
Almost every time I drive somewhere more than a couple of miles away, the possibility of getting into a horrible a wreck enters my mind.
In my case I don't think alcohol is not related. I was a chronic worrier as a child as well. I'm sure it played into why I love drinking so much though. I could finally relax without having intrusive thoughts. I thought that quitting drinking would help a lot more than it has actually.
Well I'd say I'm going to stop myself while I'm ahead but I know I've already gotten a little too deep into the darkness. So I'll stop before I reach the Mariana Trench.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Queensland
Posts: 568
Grief and intense worry can be crippling LSW. Combined it would be very hard indeed so my heart goes out to you. Sending cyber hugs from Australia.
I, too, am an expert on stressing. I totally have it mastered, but I am slowly learning to have a wee conversation with myself when I feel it getting overwhelming. I talk logic in my head and it seems to lessen the impact. It's a slow progress but I do feel I am making progress, maybe give some self talk a try if you haven't already LSW?
I think only time can help with grief. And crying, a boat load of crying.
Happy Easter to everyone and have a wonderful week ahead xoxo
I, too, am an expert on stressing. I totally have it mastered, but I am slowly learning to have a wee conversation with myself when I feel it getting overwhelming. I talk logic in my head and it seems to lessen the impact. It's a slow progress but I do feel I am making progress, maybe give some self talk a try if you haven't already LSW?
I think only time can help with grief. And crying, a boat load of crying.
Happy Easter to everyone and have a wonderful week ahead
xoxo
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 2,256
Your post made me cry LSW because you could be describing me. I went to my dad's grave yesterday and found myself talking to him; telling him I wished I'd been able to help him more when he was alive. How I wished I'd faced up to my addiction sooner so I could have recognised his. How I miss him every single day and wish I could hear his voice just one more time. How I hope he's ok now and how I'm determined to stay sober and make him proud.
I've always been a chronic worrier too and I'm not sure what came first; the worrying or the alcoholism but I think they are both tightly intertwined. I also think that worrying and alcoholism are the main ingredients of my depression. Two weeks before I stopped drinking, back in October last year, I went to the supermarket after work. I parked the car and was just about to get out when suddenly it was like a darkness descended. I found myself sitting alone in my car in a busy carpark, crying and thinking about how life would be better for everyone if I just disappeared. Eventually I got out the car and bought food for dinner. And wine. I still didn't see the connection between alcohol and my mood but obviously deep down I knew because 2 weeks later I stopped drinking.
I still worry excessively and I still cry in private but like Poppy said, I am finally learning how to self talk. When I walked back from my dad's grave yesterday and sat in the car, I was an emotional mess. But then I dried my eyes and thought, "at least you're not sitting in the car park outside the supermarket thinking about suicide." From the first day I stopped drinking I feel like I've been taking baby steps away from that dark place. Just like my sober days keep adding up, so too do all those baby steps. And my mind now is wide open to Tony Robbins and other gurus of positivity. Like Tnek, I'd always brushed off anything like this. Not any more. Thanks for the posts everyone. Sorry this is so long. I got carried away because I still find it so awesome that I'm not on my own with all this anymore. We can all get better, and happy together.
I've always been a chronic worrier too and I'm not sure what came first; the worrying or the alcoholism but I think they are both tightly intertwined. I also think that worrying and alcoholism are the main ingredients of my depression. Two weeks before I stopped drinking, back in October last year, I went to the supermarket after work. I parked the car and was just about to get out when suddenly it was like a darkness descended. I found myself sitting alone in my car in a busy carpark, crying and thinking about how life would be better for everyone if I just disappeared. Eventually I got out the car and bought food for dinner. And wine. I still didn't see the connection between alcohol and my mood but obviously deep down I knew because 2 weeks later I stopped drinking.
I still worry excessively and I still cry in private but like Poppy said, I am finally learning how to self talk. When I walked back from my dad's grave yesterday and sat in the car, I was an emotional mess. But then I dried my eyes and thought, "at least you're not sitting in the car park outside the supermarket thinking about suicide." From the first day I stopped drinking I feel like I've been taking baby steps away from that dark place. Just like my sober days keep adding up, so too do all those baby steps. And my mind now is wide open to Tony Robbins and other gurus of positivity. Like Tnek, I'd always brushed off anything like this. Not any more. Thanks for the posts everyone. Sorry this is so long. I got carried away because I still find it so awesome that I'm not on my own with all this anymore. We can all get better, and happy together.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,594
Well I've read and scrolled everyone's posts and all are blurring into one beautiful soup. Everyone seems to be talking.
And lots of us seem to be struggling including myself, and who just crawled out from under a rock.
Just wanted to abandon ship, everyplace, everything just became too much. Much is happening in my life at the moment. I am more anxious than I can possibly say. Gotta work a way to use the site/Class without becoming stuck like a kid to a video game.
Everyone's posts deserved response but my anxiety and stress levels are peaking but wanted you to know also that I have worked out a really deadly yoga move, which has helped, even after two go's, Apparently your hips are the junk box of your body. Lots of negative stuff held there. Probably bs but does feel better.
Also am now going to walk an additional 15 minutes to the small supermarket across the railway track. They are cheaper than the a/hole in the servo, where the woman worker still sneers and condescends like ****. She has seen me intoxicated, but not for a long time.
Both free activities, both good. Also told someone to go get F!d in the most honourable fashion. Assertive, honest. They needed to be told, and I find that hard. But I did it, and it felt good.
I have raved too long and it was all about me, but we will catch up soon I hope.
I am having salmon and vegetables for dinner. I have not eaten properly for 4 days (2 eggs), but did sugar frenzy on 2 packets of Fruit Tringles, a Violet crumble bar, and a Maccadam Madagascan Salt or some crap ice cream. It was yummy.
The night before I ate an entire container of Turkish Delight. It was the real McCoy and so sweet. I have even been adding sweets/lollies to my shopping list. Hope it settles relatively quickly, and I wouldn't dismiss PAWS either.
Not the sugar so much but head stuff definitely. Even the depersonalisation. It's crap. Onwards
Feel as though I've barged in and am feeling awkward.
You know, now, and for me, it's not about the craving for a drink, it is the head stuff that accompanies its removal that is the killer. in my case, that is.
When I think of drinking I think about any bad idea, simply don't act, it's a bad idea.. Don't even feel the pull to act, but cannot say the same about my head. Crushing. Depression is better than anxiety if you ask me.
Am going to make my dinner and wish I had some ice cream. Natural fructose (?) really is the go. But don't forget to treat myself. .
I didn't like 28 Days either Plenny, white middle class cutsies. Glad she got sober though
And lots of us seem to be struggling including myself, and who just crawled out from under a rock.
Just wanted to abandon ship, everyplace, everything just became too much. Much is happening in my life at the moment. I am more anxious than I can possibly say. Gotta work a way to use the site/Class without becoming stuck like a kid to a video game.
Everyone's posts deserved response but my anxiety and stress levels are peaking but wanted you to know also that I have worked out a really deadly yoga move, which has helped, even after two go's, Apparently your hips are the junk box of your body. Lots of negative stuff held there. Probably bs but does feel better.
Also am now going to walk an additional 15 minutes to the small supermarket across the railway track. They are cheaper than the a/hole in the servo, where the woman worker still sneers and condescends like ****. She has seen me intoxicated, but not for a long time.
Both free activities, both good. Also told someone to go get F!d in the most honourable fashion. Assertive, honest. They needed to be told, and I find that hard. But I did it, and it felt good.
I have raved too long and it was all about me, but we will catch up soon I hope.
I am having salmon and vegetables for dinner. I have not eaten properly for 4 days (2 eggs), but did sugar frenzy on 2 packets of Fruit Tringles, a Violet crumble bar, and a Maccadam Madagascan Salt or some crap ice cream. It was yummy.
The night before I ate an entire container of Turkish Delight. It was the real McCoy and so sweet. I have even been adding sweets/lollies to my shopping list. Hope it settles relatively quickly, and I wouldn't dismiss PAWS either.
Not the sugar so much but head stuff definitely. Even the depersonalisation. It's crap. Onwards
Feel as though I've barged in and am feeling awkward.
You know, now, and for me, it's not about the craving for a drink, it is the head stuff that accompanies its removal that is the killer. in my case, that is.
When I think of drinking I think about any bad idea, simply don't act, it's a bad idea.
. Don't even feel the pull to act, but cannot say the same about my head. Crushing. Depression is better than anxiety if you ask me. Am going to make my dinner and wish I had some ice cream. Natural fructose (?) really is the go. But don't forget to treat myself. .
I didn't like 28 Days either Plenny, white middle class cutsies. Glad she got sober though
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
