SandyO

Hi everyone. It's been a cold overcast day and just feeling a bit blah today. My husband had a friend over last night whose marriage broke up mostly to his drinking. I was grateful to my husband for telling him beforehand that I didn't drink so he brought me some juice instead. I wasn't worried about drinking but more what to do with myself. Once they started to get rowdy I did some laundry. I had a good clean up yesterday but just veged in front of the tv most of today. I've got one more day off until I start my new job.
Hope everyone is doing well and being strong. Day 12 today. Feels like it should be longer. Such is the journey I guess. Take care.

jacktryingagain

day 2 ,, phew

Lava256

Congrats, Bebrave, on the sober weekend trip. I was actually waiting to see how that would turn out. If it had been me, i'd have had to either back out of the invite or given in and drank. Cocktails and wine is exactly my kind of thing so.... Not until i'm stronger in my sobriety will I put myself in that position.

Lava256

AA has god stuff in it? I didn't know. I missed the one for earlier this week and I plan on going for my first tomorrow, Friday. I'm wary of religious stuff too but I'm hoping that hearing and seeing other people in the struggle face to face and sharing experiences will help me.

Lava256

I love your sig, by the way. It's so uplifting.

Tronics

It never crossed my mind that I was drinking so much that it would impact my liver, but thinking back I should not be so surprised.
I have actually postponed my new blood tests, I plan on taking them again in a week or so. I need a couple of sober weeks. And honestly it scares me to get the results.. so I procrastinate. My doc wanted to put me on some medication as well (don’t know if it was livolin), but it has been put on hold until the new blood works.

Sounds rough with your dad, it’s another good reason to quit I guess.

lovehoops

Quick check in..starting day 3..feel okay..
Stay strong everyone..we can do this !!!

tonggau

Day 40!
Still a lot of drinking dreams and sleep really could be more restful. In a way I'm happy I do dream about the stuff since it reminds that I do have a problem. No cravings for alcohol but I get this odd feeling a few times a day that I need something - it reminds me about 'needing' a smoke but it's something else. A snack or something to drink usually does the trick - or just wait it out. I think I'm just bad at recognizing my own needs - my default option was to go for a drink or a smoke.
Anyway, I'm grateful for this having been relatively easy on me so far.
Keep going everybody, life is easier outside the drink/regret cycle.

NapsteR1

I had blood tests done in September last year that came back normal, hopefully I haven't pushed it over the edge in the meantime, I've got another "full body MoT test" (MoT is a yearly roadworthiness test in the UK for vehicles) coming up in September and so help me God I'll be off the sauce until then so we'll see what that reveals.

Busy mentally packing for my trip to Spain whilst being disengaged at work. I've not done a trip to a track as long as this before and not on such a rapid motorcycle either so anxiety is biting and "you've got everything done, all you've got to do is chuck some stuff in a suitcase and get to the airport - have a beer to take the edge off your nerves" is in full effect.

There's 6 of us going, two bosses from work, 2 friends of theirs and one of mine, there is an expectation that after track time = lads away beers by the pool time but I've set the expectation that I won't be joining them in the beers, bit tricky cos of management pressure but lots of good reasons why not - like machine control the next day (180mph on two wheels and a hangover = increased risk of death) dehydration at the track, wanting to be as fast as possible (in between binges I've spent a fair amount of time at the gym to prep for these 4 days so why loose that by drinking) etc etc. Fortunately my 7 month on the wagon stint coincided with my joining the company so as far as these guys are concerned I'm pretty much a non-drinker anyway which is a good foundation. Other concern is making sure the thousands of self harm scars on my arm stay concealed which is a little tricky poolside - hey ho. Why the **** have I spent so much of my life trying to self-destruct, makes trying to re-invent oneself all the more challenging as AV has that many more past mistakes and present appearance judo holds to use to throw you off balance and back into the pit.

I'm back on Wednesday next week and prb won't be back on here till then - stay safe and sober in the meantime peeps :o)

NapsteR1

Me too, had a very vivid one last night, woke up in a hotel room having p****d all over the mattress, late for a meeting and couldn't find clothes /shoes to wear either (never actually done this btw). I struggled in and out of the dream and then woke with a thick head and was genuinely upset for a a few minutes that I'd have to give my AA chip back before I settled down and separated dream from reality!!

Lava256

Yes, I'm also eating tons. But not stressed out about it. If there's one thing I know I can control, it's how much I eat and what I eat. I'm just going with the flow for now, though. I need to cement myself in sobriety and then.... then I'll handle all these other issues. But thanks for that word of caution, PJ.

Bebrave

It was tough, I won't lie! It did help I've been having some digestive issues so the idea didn't seem as attractive as it could have. Hey, I'll take it!

Bebrave

Day 18-- had my first drinking dream. Someone made up a new cocktail recipe and wanted me to try it so I took a sip. I was immediately filled with remorse and regret.

More later!

Lava256

Stay the course, jack. Days 1 and 2 were hellish for me. Day 1, in particular, definitely had to be THE day because there was no way I would've been able to ingest even a drop of alcohol. I was so sick. I woke up feeling like hell, got out of bed, got back in, and eventually picked myself up, took a shower, dressed up real nice and drove to a drug and alcohol centre nearby. It was my first time talking to anyone about my drinking. I thought I was going to burst into tears but I kept it together and was very honest about my drinking. The doctor was kind and easy going and at the end, we were making jokes about stuff so I was at ease. I really pray I stick with this decision because, tbh, i've been really lucky to have escaped some potentially detrimental situations brought on by my drinking. I literally could've died years ago, or be dying now, or gone mad, or something. Alcohol hasn't worked at all for the last 10 years i've been using so it's time to try something different. Hang in there. You're far from alone in this struggle.

letitgo

Dark chocolate and sparkling water and unsweetened tea really help me. I am avoiding dark chocolate this time because I at to much and gained wait. The goal is to not push the AV into a new Avenue. Give yourself a break the first month but be aware. Walks and water help alot. Music helps also.
Day 4 here. Check in later.

Lava256

So it's day 10 for me today. A few weeks ago I couldn't have even fathomed going 1 day without drinking something, no matter how little. It's unreal and surreal and very real all at the same time. I'm eternally grateful to SR. I happened upon this website/community by chance and it's been a great resource for me.

I do have a trigger-ish situation coming on later today, though. I'm making dinner tonight and, like many drinkers, I drink while cooking. I guess I'll just have to have my trusted tea at hand, won't I?

Anyways, happy sober Thursday to you all and I'll check in later. xxx

PhoenixJ

Drinking dreams- the brain rewiring, reruns. They suck though They are not real.

Lava256

AV was getting louder and louder and I went back to this article I read a few months ago and it grounded me. Thought i'd share...
5 Things Nobody Tells You About Quitting Drinking

Evienne

Hello dear classmates, got through my first rough day yesterday.

I wanted to do my taxes, in my country your employer pays the taxes, and you have to check at the end of the fiscal year, but I quit my job due to a conflict with them and appearantly they really wanted to screw me over so didn't pay my taxes. Now I'm on welfare and came to find out I owe 600 euro. No idea how I'm going to come up with that... It's not even that much, really, but for me, it's nearly a months income. Feeling a bit sorry for myself and p***ed at my former employer for such a petty deed.

Then my ex of 7 yrs ago started calling frantically. I was out and leave my phone at home a lot so came back to 4 missed calls and some messages, manipulatively guilt tripping me into calling him 'as a friend'. I called to tell him to leave me alone, he wouldn't respect my boundary and tried to further coax me into meeting him, he couldn't say why, but HAD to say it in person. Forced it out of him and it quickly turned out he wanted more... I screamed NO and slammed the horn on the phone (this is when I love having a land line). Turned into creeping me out with very explicit texts which I'm trying to ignore but I'm really mad as hell at him for treating me like this.

Now my plan for days like these turns out to be wobbly so I need to work on that, but I went out to walk my dogs, let the tears flow freely, and went to bed early. Felt somewhat better this morning and got through day 12 just fine

lookinforward

Nice to look in the mirror this morning and not have the shame...Day 3.
Stay Strong
D