courage2

Congratulations on the sale of the house, glee!

badgerden

Congrats on the house Glee! fun but scary times ahead!!
I agree with the keep it cordial plan Carlos, keep yourself first and safe, things will fall into place if meant to be.

no wine for me today
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Dee74

congrats Glee

D

Gilmer

Yes! Congratulations, Glee!

Check in, Del!

IWLSAST

Hi All,

Congrats, Glee. You are gracious and very deserving of the rewards that have come your way in recovery. Enjoy the ride!

Kris, I've lived most of my life in and around Pittsburgh, with stints in Philly, Baltimore and VA. Congrats on your recent retirement.

Thanks for the kind responses to my request. My friend wasn't at class yesterday, but, is always at the Tuesday cardio class. So, tonight I will have that conversation.

I had forgotten that I was to chair my home-group AA mtg last night, so I was not prepared with a topic. I just went with the flow of my shortened story which led me to throw out what was different about you since your sober journey began.

I've shared many times here that I really did change that just one thing - everything. Yep, not anything like the person I was four years ago. I embrace gratitude, live as present tense as possible, accept and let go of challenges not in my control, listen better and speak less, look for ways to give back without expectation of return...blah, blah, blah...

However, as I looked back after the meeting, it occurred to me that one of my biggest changes was maturity. There was an immaturity, simple mindedness to my life. No depth...nothing spiritual...so me, me, me.

It's funny...by learning to care less about myself in selfish ways and the desire to garner material things, I've found a richness and fullness that I believe is maturity. Alcohol and alcoholic thinking had robbed me of spirituality and any chance to mature and grow within.

Again, as I've said many times before on shares here...I've got a lot to learn about life and recovery...but, a new found maturity has my wondering...and happy for that.

Not drankin today.

Carlos

FBL

Congrats, Glee!

Self-improvement seems a never-ending process...especially for those of us that need a lot of it

tomls

Greeeaat!!!! Gleeee!!!!

courage2

Interesting post, Carlos. Thanks! It made me look up maturity on Wikipedia.

I've been called immature fairly recently. Probably it's true. Or is it congenital weirdness that looks adolescent from the outside? My life will probably go like this: weird kid >>>drug-&-alcohol abusing weird kid >>> alcohol-abusing weird person >>> alcoholic >>> sober alcoholic weird person >>> weird old kid.

Weird isn't in contrast to maturity, so maybe accepting weirdness is a mature act? Sure didn't do me good to fight against it.

Power to the weird & sober!

PhoenixJ

Courage- I used to have a sticker on my car that said 'I am not weird, I'm gifted'.

Gilmer

Don't look at it in terms of weird vs. normal; look at it instead as distinctive vs. run-of-the-mill!

Gilmer

I agree with PJ: you are definitely gifted, Courage!

courage2

Y'all are sweet but that's not my point. O who cares, right? But it's raining and I don't want to walk to the office.

My question, for us all: Is it ok for sober people not to fight (too) hard to achieve normal, mature, day-to-day behavior? I mean, this side of sobriety, I think we can all agree not to drink or use, do-no-harm... but how much else should we push to attain?

My own tendency lately has been more towards expression than suppression, even of the weird. That's clearly selfish -- and Carlos argues for selflessness.

Neither/both of us can be right; it's a ponder though.

Thoughts?

courage2

Distinctive/weird/gifted perpetuates the terminal uniqueness of the alcoholic.

Ordinary/normal/run-of-the-mill keeps a person in their right-sized place & is a great blessing to self and others after the turmoil of addiction. With fewer squirrels!

PhoenixJ

so long as my weirdness/gifted bits are proactive, constructive- I learn/grow and do not hurt others- I am in.

Delizadee

^^^ This!! Fantastic. I couldn't have said it better for where I am stepping into.

Hello my wacky wonderful friends! I had five 14 hours days in a row- and I survived haha. Yesterday it was just me and mine, it was a beautiful day. So we shopped early, lazed in bed, went to a great meeting last night. I feel so buoyed and positive. Today is great. I am grateful.

Congrats glee on the sale of your house!

Courage, I don't think what you are saying is contrary to what Carlos said. Let me think if I can express my thoughts properly on this...

I don't think expressing yourself is something selfish. I think if your motives are well meant, and you are self-reflecting and part of you as a person is the desire to express yourself is natural and totally ok.
Like walking in your own, genuine authenticity does not make you selfish. You are clearly an intelligent, caring person- your presence and encouragement and humour here is evidence of that.

I think part of living a good, healthy life is being true to ourselves while caring about the well-being of others. You seem to do well to work on keeping your side of the street clean which allows you to be more receptive and accepting of the world around you- not trying to control it or diminish it. And it allows you to give back in small and big ways, whether you realize it or not.
You take inventory of yourself often and look at your motives. You strive to do better while accepting and for the most part, being ok with where you are.
What the heck is wrong with that? You're not selfish. Taking care of ourselves first is paramount to being able to give back, which reinforces the positive path in your life. We can't help anyone until we help ourselves.

SO, imho both are important to live a good life. Although self-care is not really a form of selfishness in my mind. If ya gotta speak your mind, express your feelings, be your own weird and wacky self, that is being authentic.
If anyone has issue with that, that's their own problem.

I think where you're at is a stage of growth, and you've come a long way and accomplished so much and given so much. You should be proud and I think you're humble too. That's what I see. Strengths. Courage to question things.

Not drinking today. There is no way I would have survived all of 2017 so far if I was drinking. Being sober has made this year thus far amazing. I might have less and more hanging over my head- so what. I'm free of the obsession to drink which takes away a lot of fear so I'm learning to cope and my gratitude for all I have today has grown in leaps and bounds.
Last night I walked through the house before I went to bed. And I said thank you for all the little and big things I could think. I have all I need today, and I am better than ok. I am really, really good. And I have a lot of people including you guys to thank for helping me get this far.

Wow that was deep for a Tuesday morning.

Delizadee

I am frikken weird, crazy cray cray, and I don't mind one bit. Makes me being with me that much more fun. Life is more interesting.
And I make people smile, and laugh, and that in itself is a gift that I can give that gives back to me.

SoberLeigh

Hello, all.

I love a bit of craziness, too.

SoberLeigh

I will not drink today!

Kris47

Just getting right with myself.

So I can be there for others.

Sobriety doesn't equal normal. It just makes me a better human being.

My brain is like a cauliflower root. It can keep me entertained for hours.

I just don't entertain the thought of drinking anymore.

I can still come up with some crazy ideas.

I just don't act on them anymore.

Well only the ones that shouldn't hurt me.


Congrats Glee!

tomls

^^^^ You one funny girl!!!