Class of November 2016 Support Thread Part 5
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,594
Hi Mira,
Instead of me raving on about the difficulties contained in getting sober and raising a child on your own, I should have said exactly what Dee said, in the asking of whether you have support around you?
It was the most pertinent question, and hope there are others around that can help back you up. As blackbird says, take a little time for yourself too. And I know there is little time. Nighttime pampering when your son is in bed?
Thinking of you Mira.
Instead of me raving on about the difficulties contained in getting sober and raising a child on your own, I should have said exactly what Dee said, in the asking of whether you have support around you?
It was the most pertinent question, and hope there are others around that can help back you up. As blackbird says, take a little time for yourself too. And I know there is little time. Nighttime pampering when your son is in bed?
Thinking of you Mira.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,594
Just when you think you've got it clinched the old AV makes a reappearance. Sneaky little coot.
Huge day today cleaning flat from top to toe, chucking out rubbish for Council clean up, install new (ex-Mum) fridge and washing machine, and generally working myself into the ground.
After all was done went to lie on my bed for a while and suddenly found myself getting up to go buy a beer. I deserved it, didn't I? That was my bent thinking.
Didn't last too long and came to my senses, but gee it can just pop out of the blue, and has the voice of reason talking loud and clear. Outwitted the little nark.
I would have felt so bad tomorrow after having done all of that good work, only to sabotage myself one more time. Not this time.
Sipping tea and off to bed soon with real sleepiness, not semi-consciousness.
Hope everyone is travelling well.
41 Days today.
Huge day today cleaning flat from top to toe, chucking out rubbish for Council clean up, install new (ex-Mum) fridge and washing machine, and generally working myself into the ground.
After all was done went to lie on my bed for a while and suddenly found myself getting up to go buy a beer. I deserved it, didn't I? That was my bent thinking.
Didn't last too long and came to my senses, but gee it can just pop out of the blue, and has the voice of reason talking loud and clear. Outwitted the little nark.
I would have felt so bad tomorrow after having done all of that good work, only to sabotage myself one more time. Not this time.
Sipping tea and off to bed soon with real sleepiness, not semi-consciousness.
Hope everyone is travelling well.
41 Days today.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Midwest
Posts: 221
Originally Posted by tnek97 
Last night I went out with close friends. Unfortunately, it was at a local bar that I used to frequent. I was annoyed that I "had" to go, and angry at my friends for choosing that locale. You know, basically riling myself up to already be in a bad mood, even before arriving.
Well, I got there about an hour after they had arrived, and actually had no problem sitting down with a soda instead. In fact, throughout the night, I kept noticing how present I was in the conversation, and, as smug as this sounds, how funny I was! If I were drinking, all I would have been concentrating on was "how fast do I need to drink this beer, so I can get another drink because everyone else is still drinking theirs?"
Not going to lie, when I first sat down, I felt a little like I was being punished: I couldn't drink. Though once again, I was reminded of the fact that going out with friends is fun because of the situation, and the camaraderie, not the alcohol. The AV romanticizes the notion of booze, the reality is the romance is in the friendship. They also didn't push it. They all know I quit drinking, though at varying levels of understanding. One friend did ask when I would drink again. The others understand on a deeper level.
Plus, no hangover! I could see my friends faces become slower, and heavier as the night wore on, and I was glad I wasn't going to experience the same.
Happy Saturday you guys!
Well, I got there about an hour after they had arrived, and actually had no problem sitting down with a soda instead. In fact, throughout the night, I kept noticing how present I was in the conversation, and, as smug as this sounds, how funny I was! If I were drinking, all I would have been concentrating on was "how fast do I need to drink this beer, so I can get another drink because everyone else is still drinking theirs?"
Not going to lie, when I first sat down, I felt a little like I was being punished: I couldn't drink. Though once again, I was reminded of the fact that going out with friends is fun because of the situation, and the camaraderie, not the alcohol. The AV romanticizes the notion of booze, the reality is the romance is in the friendship. They also didn't push it. They all know I quit drinking, though at varying levels of understanding. One friend did ask when I would drink again. The others understand on a deeper level.
Plus, no hangover! I could see my friends faces become slower, and heavier as the night wore on, and I was glad I wasn't going to experience the same.
Happy Saturday you guys!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Midwest
Posts: 221
Steely... I love your pictures. Congrats on 41 days!
"Just when you think you've got it clinched the old AV makes a reappearance. Sneaky little coot."
^^^ Isn't that the truth? Mine was screaming at me last night. Thank God for chocolate!!
"Just when you think you've got it clinched the old AV makes a reappearance. Sneaky little coot."
^^^ Isn't that the truth? Mine was screaming at me last night. Thank God for chocolate!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Midwest
Posts: 221
Hope everyone is having a safe and sober Sunday!
To all of us making the commitment to stay sober today... Congrats!! Phoenix, Blackbird, Rainy, StarStar, Badge, and everyone else I've missed... Let's do this!
To all of us making the commitment to stay sober today... Congrats!! Phoenix, Blackbird, Rainy, StarStar, Badge, and everyone else I've missed... Let's do this!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,742
Tnek thanks for the inspiring account. I will try to focus on my lucidity and presence when I'm out with friends
I had a friend in town for the past few days. I wasn't sure how I was going to deal with it, but by the time she started getting going in the late afternoon, we'd get something to eat and I'd tap out and get home early. She stayed out and partied with other friends (she still does party drugs too), but I watched movies at home with Bf while she fulfilled that part of her vacation and I gave her my door key and made sure she took cabs.
I just realized it's been 16 days. It might sound weird but I'm really good at not counting my days. 16 days since a crippling hangover (which I'd have every other day no matter how much I drank), 16 days since I had a cigarette because alcohol made me forget all of my rules (I am in danger of having a stroke or aneurism if I keep smoking), 16 days since Bf and I have had a horrible senseless fight and 16 days of pretty much eating whatever I want and sleeping really well (for the most part)
Today I have stayed in and spent some quality time with Bf. He is doing really well even though I know it is hard for him and he gets moody sometimes.
I want to continue to approach everything with love and awesomeness and be a kinder person. Having trouble with all that.
I had a friend in town for the past few days. I wasn't sure how I was going to deal with it, but by the time she started getting going in the late afternoon, we'd get something to eat and I'd tap out and get home early. She stayed out and partied with other friends (she still does party drugs too), but I watched movies at home with Bf while she fulfilled that part of her vacation and I gave her my door key and made sure she took cabs.
I just realized it's been 16 days. It might sound weird but I'm really good at not counting my days. 16 days since a crippling hangover (which I'd have every other day no matter how much I drank), 16 days since I had a cigarette because alcohol made me forget all of my rules (I am in danger of having a stroke or aneurism if I keep smoking), 16 days since Bf and I have had a horrible senseless fight and 16 days of pretty much eating whatever I want and sleeping really well (for the most part)
Today I have stayed in and spent some quality time with Bf. He is doing really well even though I know it is hard for him and he gets moody sometimes.
I want to continue to approach everything with love and awesomeness and be a kinder person. Having trouble with all that.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 336
Originally Posted by tnek97
Thanks, Steely. I do have to credit the book: The Naked Mind, Controlling Alcohol. It really helped me see things from a different perspective, and understand that choosing sobriety is not the same as sentencing yourself to a lifetime of dull nights, and no fun.
Quite the opposite, it allows you to live to your full potential. I would recommend the book to everyone. It might not resonate with all, but for me, it did. I'm not a religious, or spiritual person in the slightest. I am analytical, and more science based. This was the first book that I came across that approached alcoholism from a scientific perspective. It resonated with me on that level.
Anyway...I know it's going to still be hard. There will be harder tests on this journey. For all of us. I'm glad we have this space and place together.
I hope you get you back too, steely.
Quite the opposite, it allows you to live to your full potential. I would recommend the book to everyone. It might not resonate with all, but for me, it did. I'm not a religious, or spiritual person in the slightest. I am analytical, and more science based. This was the first book that I came across that approached alcoholism from a scientific perspective. It resonated with me on that level.
Anyway...I know it's going to still be hard. There will be harder tests on this journey. For all of us. I'm glad we have this space and place together.
I hope you get you back too, steely.
I made the mistake of searching for it by title on iBooks. Not available. If Apple starts sending me erotic romance titles in my "suggested just for you" emails I will... cry. scream. something!
I found the book on Amazon and will download it, thanks again.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 336
Originally Posted by Steely
Just when you think you've got it clinched the old AV makes a reappearance. Sneaky little coot.
Huge day today cleaning flat from top to toe, chucking out rubbish for Council clean up, install new (ex-Mum) fridge and washing machine, and generally working myself into the ground.
After all was done went to lie on my bed for a while and suddenly found myself getting up to go buy a beer. I deserved it, didn't I? That was my bent thinking.
Didn't last too long and came to my senses, but gee it can just pop out of the blue, and has the voice of reason talking loud and clear. Outwitted the little nark.
I would have felt so bad tomorrow after having done all of that good work, only to sabotage myself one more time. Not this time.
Sipping tea and off to bed soon with real sleepiness, not semi-consciousness.
Hope everyone is travelling well.
41 Days today.
Huge day today cleaning flat from top to toe, chucking out rubbish for Council clean up, install new (ex-Mum) fridge and washing machine, and generally working myself into the ground.
After all was done went to lie on my bed for a while and suddenly found myself getting up to go buy a beer. I deserved it, didn't I? That was my bent thinking.
Didn't last too long and came to my senses, but gee it can just pop out of the blue, and has the voice of reason talking loud and clear. Outwitted the little nark.
I would have felt so bad tomorrow after having done all of that good work, only to sabotage myself one more time. Not this time.
Sipping tea and off to bed soon with real sleepiness, not semi-consciousness.
Hope everyone is travelling well.
41 Days today.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 336
Originally Posted by Plenny
Tnek thanks for the inspiring account. I will try to focus on my lucidity and presence when I'm out with friends
I had a friend in town for the past few days. I wasn't sure how I was going to deal with it, but by the time she started getting going in the late afternoon, we'd get something to eat and I'd tap out and get home early. She stayed out and partied with other friends (she still does party drugs too), but I watched movies at home with Bf while she fulfilled that part of her vacation and I gave her my door key and made sure she took cabs.
I just realized it's been 16 days. It might sound weird but I'm really good at not counting my days. 16 days since a crippling hangover (which I'd have every other day no matter how much I drank), 16 days since I had a cigarette because alcohol made me forget all of my rules (I am in danger of having a stroke or aneurism if I keep smoking), 16 days since Bf and I have had a horrible senseless fight and 16 days of pretty much eating whatever I want and sleeping really well (for the most part)
Today I have stayed in and spent some quality time with Bf. He is doing really well even though I know it is hard for him and he gets moody sometimes.
I want to continue to approach everything with love and awesomeness and be a kinder person. Having trouble with all that.
I had a friend in town for the past few days. I wasn't sure how I was going to deal with it, but by the time she started getting going in the late afternoon, we'd get something to eat and I'd tap out and get home early. She stayed out and partied with other friends (she still does party drugs too), but I watched movies at home with Bf while she fulfilled that part of her vacation and I gave her my door key and made sure she took cabs.
I just realized it's been 16 days. It might sound weird but I'm really good at not counting my days. 16 days since a crippling hangover (which I'd have every other day no matter how much I drank), 16 days since I had a cigarette because alcohol made me forget all of my rules (I am in danger of having a stroke or aneurism if I keep smoking), 16 days since Bf and I have had a horrible senseless fight and 16 days of pretty much eating whatever I want and sleeping really well (for the most part)
Today I have stayed in and spent some quality time with Bf. He is doing really well even though I know it is hard for him and he gets moody sometimes.
I want to continue to approach everything with love and awesomeness and be a kinder person. Having trouble with all that.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Perth Western Australia
Posts: 2,671
Hi guys,
I haven't been posting on this page much at all but I'be been checking into the 24 hour one daily. Just realised I am day 28 today (again!!!!). I'm feeling good. A little nervous coming into Christmas but I've already decided that I won't be drinking this year...Hope everyone has had a great weekend. I'm at work now (monday mornings suck!)..so better go.. xxx
I haven't been posting on this page much at all but I'be been checking into the 24 hour one daily. Just realised I am day 28 today (again!!!!). I'm feeling good. A little nervous coming into Christmas but I've already decided that I won't be drinking this year...Hope everyone has had a great weekend. I'm at work now (monday mornings suck!)..so better go.. xxx
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Greensboro, NC
Posts: 94
Thanks for the welcomes, November group! I will be joining you all, since my date was Nov. 25th. So far, so good. Staying sober by reading here daily and reading "the naked mind". Just returned from a neighborhood party, where I was offered champagne and mimosas as the "drink of the day". I chose club soda! Yeah for me!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,551
Good job on the club soda jill!
Hi nic, congrats on 28 days!
Don't work too hard steely! Good thing you are smarter than that dumb 'ol AV!
Plenny, our goals are similar. The "being a better person" thing. "It's not how much you do, but how much love you put in the doing." -Mother Theresa
Hi abriella, star, tnek, badge, pheonix. Thinking of you Mira.
Hi nic, congrats on 28 days!
Don't work too hard steely! Good thing you are smarter than that dumb 'ol AV!
Plenny, our goals are similar. The "being a better person" thing. "It's not how much you do, but how much love you put in the doing." -Mother Theresa
Hi abriella, star, tnek, badge, pheonix. Thinking of you Mira.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,594
Thanks Abriella re my pics. I like taking pictures, and reckon it adds a bit of colour and context to our posts.
Yes, that AV is very slippery and am so glad I didn't act on my thoughts yesterday, as would feel absolutely shite today.
Hope yours has settled down, and you back doing good things for yourself and digging the benefits of sobriety. I bought ice cream
Have a great day Abriella.
Yes, that AV is very slippery and am so glad I didn't act on my thoughts yesterday, as would feel absolutely shite today.
Hope yours has settled down, and you back doing good things for yourself and digging the benefits of sobriety. I bought ice cream
Have a great day Abriella.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,594
Far out on 16 days Plenny. I didn't realise you had quit the fags too, it's fantastic.
I'm tired of telling people I've quit cigarettes because I constantly relapse. Stroke runs in my family Plenny and really need to quit, and have determined that this is my last pack.
Did you do it cold or use nicotine replacement therapy? It is a really gross habit and am now embarrassed to be seen as a smoker. Feel like a pariah.
Sweet sixteen Plenny, and getting it together on all fronts.
I'm tired of telling people I've quit cigarettes because I constantly relapse. Stroke runs in my family Plenny and really need to quit, and have determined that this is my last pack.
Did you do it cold or use nicotine replacement therapy? It is a really gross habit and am now embarrassed to be seen as a smoker. Feel like a pariah.
Sweet sixteen Plenny, and getting it together on all fronts.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,594
Thanks Blackbird. I really did work like a dog, and think it was one of those HALT experiences. Hungry, Angry, not so Lonely, but tired beyond belief. Gee I'm glad I didn't buy that beer, my mind would be in chaos had I done so.
I want to be a better person too, and reckon we're better people already by doing as we are doing, ie getting sober. We rock.
I want to be a better person too, and reckon we're better people already by doing as we are doing, ie getting sober. We rock.
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