Class of March 2013 Part 48
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
Duff, I felt really helpless after I kicked out my husband. But I dug in and started doing stuff and that helped me feel capable :-). It sounds like it will be fun and I'm betting you'll stay sober. Too many negatives to go back there. 
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,168
As we begin to accept limits we then begin to feel secure within those limits. Suddenly being able to step outside of them feels scary. But we need to step outside our comfort zone or else we end up limiting ourselves further.
On Wednesday, hubby hit his head. Not hard, but it caused vertigo severe enough for him to take an unheard of sick day. Thursday, our day of travel, his concussion was still causing problems and we were concerned he might not be fit to travel.
I had to consider whether to come across alone. It was scary. We had only stayed here once before, the hotel we are at is new to us and I would have been doing everything alone. But I reminded myself that in the new year, I expect to be doing just that anyway as I come across to sort the house.
As it was, he felt somewhat better, and having googled for advice we felt it safe enough for him to fly.
All worked out, he is improving daily, but being here, I know I could have done it alone if I had to, and have no concerns about being over here alone in the new year.
Duff, now is a time of a lot of firsts, scary yes, but also exciting, and with lots of opportunities. You will meet people who will never know you as anything other than teetotal. I always like that.
On Wednesday, hubby hit his head. Not hard, but it caused vertigo severe enough for him to take an unheard of sick day. Thursday, our day of travel, his concussion was still causing problems and we were concerned he might not be fit to travel.
I had to consider whether to come across alone. It was scary. We had only stayed here once before, the hotel we are at is new to us and I would have been doing everything alone. But I reminded myself that in the new year, I expect to be doing just that anyway as I come across to sort the house.
As it was, he felt somewhat better, and having googled for advice we felt it safe enough for him to fly.
All worked out, he is improving daily, but being here, I know I could have done it alone if I had to, and have no concerns about being over here alone in the new year.
Duff, now is a time of a lot of firsts, scary yes, but also exciting, and with lots of opportunities. You will meet people who will never know you as anything other than teetotal. I always like that.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,733
I'd say everyone of our Marcher's is capable and strong. Thank you for all of your kind and encouraging words.
Toots, oh my gosh about Mr. Toots! How scary, I'm so glad he's fine now and you were both able to make your journey.
Horrible night last night - holy cow! I wrote it all down last night and then deleted it. Not sure why. I've actually written and deleted many posts on STBXH's addictions and, again, don't know why. At 2:30 in the am I heard my scottie madly barking outside. I waited a few minutes thinking he'd bring her inside and assumed he was awake since all the lights downstairs were on and the TV was blaring. But she kept barking. When I got downstairs all of the sliding doors and windows were wide open and he was passed out upstairs in the guest room. I kept calling for Bailey and she wouldn't stop so I went outside and was confronted by a raccoon. I threw open his door and screamed at him to get his a** up and help. We got her in unscathed thank God. The boys were awakened and saw him fall down the stairs - they kept asking "what's wrong with daddy?" I think I'm going to check out the friends and family section to see if others have answered that question. I also read through some of my al anon books but really I'm divorcing this jerk and I just want out so badly.
I told him this morning what happened and I told him for the 100th time that he's addicted to ambien and the boozing just makes it worse and dangerous. I truly don't think he'll drink like that when he's alone with the boys but really that's just a hopeful guess. He's had one Dr. stop prescribing him ambien telling him he's addicted, he was denied life insurance bc another dr. reported ambien addiction, and sadly he's found a dr. who doesn't care and keeps prescribing it. I'm sure it's ok by itself but he mixes it with booze frequently. I go to bed long before him and he's in the guest room so I don't know if he's drinking nightly still but he certainly has in the past.
Looking forward to starting my job tomorrow and being out of the house away from this guy. I'm so livid that he put my dog in danger.
Too much drama last night!!!!!
Toots, oh my gosh about Mr. Toots! How scary, I'm so glad he's fine now and you were both able to make your journey.
Horrible night last night - holy cow! I wrote it all down last night and then deleted it. Not sure why. I've actually written and deleted many posts on STBXH's addictions and, again, don't know why. At 2:30 in the am I heard my scottie madly barking outside. I waited a few minutes thinking he'd bring her inside and assumed he was awake since all the lights downstairs were on and the TV was blaring. But she kept barking. When I got downstairs all of the sliding doors and windows were wide open and he was passed out upstairs in the guest room. I kept calling for Bailey and she wouldn't stop so I went outside and was confronted by a raccoon. I threw open his door and screamed at him to get his a** up and help. We got her in unscathed thank God. The boys were awakened and saw him fall down the stairs - they kept asking "what's wrong with daddy?" I think I'm going to check out the friends and family section to see if others have answered that question. I also read through some of my al anon books but really I'm divorcing this jerk and I just want out so badly.
I told him this morning what happened and I told him for the 100th time that he's addicted to ambien and the boozing just makes it worse and dangerous. I truly don't think he'll drink like that when he's alone with the boys but really that's just a hopeful guess. He's had one Dr. stop prescribing him ambien telling him he's addicted, he was denied life insurance bc another dr. reported ambien addiction, and sadly he's found a dr. who doesn't care and keeps prescribing it. I'm sure it's ok by itself but he mixes it with booze frequently. I go to bed long before him and he's in the guest room so I don't know if he's drinking nightly still but he certainly has in the past.
Looking forward to starting my job tomorrow and being out of the house away from this guy. I'm so livid that he put my dog in danger.
Too much drama last night!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Rogersville, Tennessee
Posts: 2,659
Duff , my wife was addicted to Xanax as well as alcohol, when the Dr wouldn't up her dosage of Xanax I found out that she got a different one to prescribe her Ambien. I called the Dr that prescribed the Ambien the Dr told me that Sherri had promised her that she had stopped drinking.
That's one of the problems that was well known in Monroe County, Dr shopping> One that Sherri was using actually had his prescription privileges revoked.
Hope things get better!
That's one of the problems that was well known in Monroe County, Dr shopping> One that Sherri was using actually had his prescription privileges revoked.
Hope things get better!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Rogersville, Tennessee
Posts: 2,659
Originally Posted by Duffster 
I told him this morning what happened and I told him for the 100th time that he's addicted to ambien and the boozing just makes it worse and dangerous. I truly don't think he'll drink like that when he's alone with the boys but really that's just a hopeful guess. He's had one Dr. stop prescribing him ambien telling him he's addicted, he was denied life insurance bc another dr. reported ambien addiction, and sadly he's found a dr. who doesn't care and keeps prescribing it. I'm sure it's ok by itself but he mixes it with booze frequently. I go to bed long before him and he's in the guest room so I don't know if he's drinking nightly still but he certainly has in the past.
Too much drama last night!!!!!
Too much drama last night!!!!!
I recently talked with Sherri's daughter, she had some questions about when Sherri and I were together. She finally told me why they stopped visiting, the last time they came out she almost drove them off the road after a day at the beach on base. (there is a bar there too).
So please don't assume he will behave, we, of all people know how addicts act.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,733
Originally Posted by BuddinK
So please don't assume he will behave, we, of all people know how addicts act.
Thank you for sharing that.
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,168
Gosh Duff I guess all that happening kind of over shadowed your first day, I'm with Gilmer, how was it?
As to stbexh's addiction, I agree with Ken, you cannot assume he won't allow his addiction to take control when he has the boys. I guess none of his family know or turn a blind eye, is there anyone you can confide in to keep a watch when he has his custody?
It is impossible to tell someone that they have an addiction problem, they have to see it and say it themselves. And even then, they have to want to deal with it. We all have experience of that. Plus constantly telling someone something just bolsters their denial, what may work is asking the right questions to get him to admit it himself.
I have used friends and family threads to help me come to terms with the latent anger I have with ex -(now late) hubby as you say Duff, SR is a great resource!
Hugs and kisses to all my March friends x
As to stbexh's addiction, I agree with Ken, you cannot assume he won't allow his addiction to take control when he has the boys. I guess none of his family know or turn a blind eye, is there anyone you can confide in to keep a watch when he has his custody?
It is impossible to tell someone that they have an addiction problem, they have to see it and say it themselves. And even then, they have to want to deal with it. We all have experience of that. Plus constantly telling someone something just bolsters their denial, what may work is asking the right questions to get him to admit it himself.
I have used friends and family threads to help me come to terms with the latent anger I have with ex -(now late) hubby as you say Duff, SR is a great resource!
Hugs and kisses to all my March friends x
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,733
Hi all! Work was good! You know what first days are like, trying to learn the way the office works but it went quickly. Happy to be home with my boys and dogs.
Toots, you guessed it - his family refuses to see any problems. But they are close, literally, right up the street and if I know him they'll be helping out a lot, which in this case I'm grateful for. The rest of his family are those odd creatures who drink one or two glasses of wine a week. I joke -- I certainly wish I was one of them.
Toots, how's it going and when do you head home?
Toots, you guessed it - his family refuses to see any problems. But they are close, literally, right up the street and if I know him they'll be helping out a lot, which in this case I'm grateful for. The rest of his family are those odd creatures who drink one or two glasses of wine a week. I joke -- I certainly wish I was one of them.
Toots, how's it going and when do you head home?
Congrats on 6 months!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 4,672
thanks guys ! Doing great. You should see me---I'm so proud to be sober. Even tho I have been here before this time seems different. Don't get me wrong as you know---I still have those bad days ---just handle them differently.
thinking about you a lot Duff---Hang in there girl. We are with you.
Thanks again
Babs
thinking about you a lot Duff---Hang in there girl. We are with you.
Thanks again
Babs
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