Simplicity4114

Happy Friday Everyone! Well I (re)finished Christmas shopping yesterday! Have a few more gifts to wrap and I am Done! Thank you Jesus! We Visited with my mother-in-law last evening since we won't be seeing her on x-mas day and guess what she got me? That's right folks, alcohol. No biggie. I thanked her, let her know I got off the sauce back in April, and left the bottle at her place for her to enjoy. She normally gets me stuff like toilet seat covers or hair ties with big pink flowers on them, so I think she was a little disappointed thinking this year I'd be tickled pink. Oh well, what ya gonna do?
Last day of work for me till next Wednesday and its a half day at that, so I'm super psyched about that! I've been holding off on the job search in an effort to keep things even for myself. I work in the medical field and I'm going to be hard pressed to find employment that doesn't require call, long hours, weekends, holidays, and such. I pretty much have a gravy job. Just a crazy boss. Unfortunately, others are jumping ship and one of girls leaving happens to be my best friend, which stinks. Bah Humbug.
Wishing y'all a great day friends!

Flossyteacake

Hi all,

Glad to hear everyone's ticking along well. I finished up at work yesterday, so am now on holiday until the 9th. Woo hoo! Plans for today are to head to our GP, so the practice nurse can remove a stitch DS had put in his ankle after he managed to get a nasty cut a while ago. We had it glued three times but, because it's on the joint and kept popping open, opted to bite the bullet and glue it. I think he's secretly pretty proud of his war wound. Once that's out of the way we're going to hit the beach for the day, so the smalls can burn off some energy. I need to make the stuffing ready for tomorrow and a lemon meringue pie, then we're ready for Christmas. I've bought soda water and limes, so I have something to drink tomorrow. Mr Floss was given sparkling wine by his boss as an end of year gift. It was my drink of choice. I managed to let it live in the fridge for two days, but figured out that was making me feel out of whack. Mr Floss did offer to just ditch it, but that seemed wasteful. It's now living on the top shelf of the pantry and I feel on an even keel again. It can go in the fridge on Boxing Day morning and then we can take it to the neighbours' place when we have dinner with them that evening. I won't be tempted to drink it, I'm feeling confident about that. So I think I passed that test - stuck with my plan, played the tape forward, addressed the situation rather than giving in to temptation and feel better for it.

Hope everyone has a great Christmas!

Dee74

you too Flossy and everyone

D

PhoenixJ

Safe,happy,sober,sane and happy Xmas everybody.

Camery03

Hi everyone!
Whew! What a week, but I survived! Wish me luck tomorrow--- going to the Packer/Viking game as an early Christmas gift. That is as you know a drunk fest, but I am ready. Thankfully, I am going with people who don't drink so I feel safe........... but............. as you all know, it is hard sometimes. But, as I said I am prepared and with people who aren't going to drink.
Anyways, Merry Christmas to all!!! I will check in on Christmas Day.
Love to all-
Camery

Dee74

You can do it Camery

D

joandmelandhan

Good morning all! Sorry I've been a lurker recently. Been mega busy getting ready for Christmas. Nice busy. Happy busy. For the first time in years I'll enjoy having all my family here and not have that pull of wishing they'd all go so I can drink. The freedom from that is an absolute joy. Of course it's still one day at a time and I'm respecting how sneaky this disease can be but so far I've no desire whatsoever to go back to that life. The more time I put between me and my last drink the better it gets. More normal to be like this and I love it! Not perfect of course. Life is still life and I'm getting bouts of odd emotions (anger comes and goes which is the worst one) but I assure myself that my brain is slowly healing and I can't undo everything quickly.
I hope you all have a happy and peaceful Christmas. Let's not pressure ourself to make it perfect but cherish what we do have. Lots of love to you all xxx

Camery03

Merry Christmas!!!!! So thankful for all of you!!!
Had a great day yesterday-- I had a virgin bloody mary at the game to experience all of the "goodies" a WI bloody mary has to offer and that was it! It was a great day, awesome company, and lots of festivities that didn't involve booze! Today will be a relaxing day at home!
Hope you all have a wonderful day!
Love to all-
CAmery

Elke516

Merry Christmas everyone, it's 8pm and I'm in bed, oh a safe place to be at xmas. I've found it quite hard as the subject of drinking seems to come out of the woodwork everywhere and I can hear myself saying no thank you but the beast is crying out for it. Anyway, very pleased that I'm still sober. My drink of choice is local sparkling water in a posh bottle. it's got a big heart on the front and it's called Bubbly Pembrokeshire which is the name of the county I live in.

Just catching up on your lovely posts, I need to thank you all for your posts as they help me sooooooooooo much to stay on track.

Sober and happy times for us all

Simplicity4114

Merry Christmas Friends! Home safe, sound, and best of all sober.

Simplicity4114

Just gotta share this.....
My family received a priceless gift from my sister-in-law yesterday!
She had a DNA analysis done on my family back in the fall and the results are in.
One by one she handed out gift bags filled with Christmas balls that contained the countries of our heritage. After everyone opened the balls one by one and read the countries aloud, she read the big reveal....the percentages in our DNA and based on those percentages, gave us a glimpse of how we historically came to be.
The smallest percentages were from South Asia...India (what?).
Then, somewhat higher percentages from the middle east. (ok, although to the naked eye we are clearly Caucasian, there is an olive tone to our skin that could make sense here).
Now for what accounts for the higher percentages......
Italy, Greece (always did love saying, "bellissimo") & Western Europe (this I expected....only in higher percentages). Our highest percentage (western Europe) only weighs in at 37%......so I guess you could say I'm a bit of a mutt.

She drew a line on a map beginning in India (smallest percentage) to the middle east (higher percentages), on through Greece and Italy (higher yet), northwest to western Europe (highest)....as the line moves west the percentages rise. You can literally see the emigration path of our ancestors!
What struck me was that these people, these distant relatives, kept moving in search of something better, they didn't settle for the hand they were dealt in life.
So what does this mean for me? I come from a line of people who were brave. They left there comfort zone. They moved away from their homes and families, learned different languages, embraced different cultures, had open minds, and most importantly preserved. Because they did this I get to live the better life they were in search of; a life of freedom, opportunity, and safety. Humbling.....and with this perspective in mind, my life has some added meaning to it. My ancestors did not trek across the South Asia, the middle east and Europe so that I could end up a drunk in the US. No, they did this for a better life and I can't think of a better way to honor that than to live my life and enjoy my life to the fullest (sober), jump at the opportunities that come my way, and give back to the world with a grateful heart.
The other thing that struck me is that I am no one race. None of us are. I would have never guessed I had ancestors from India. We are all from one big melting pot, that makes you, you and makes me, me. We are all one race.....the human race. I pray that one day the world will come to embrace that, lay down our arms, and use them for something more productive......like group hugs

Simplicity4114

Happy Tuesday Folks! Last day off before I head back to work. Trying to relax and get a little work done here and there. Would love to power through taking down all the x-mas stuff but grandchild #1 has been in NYC with his other grandmother for the holidays and will need to keep everything Christmasy here until the New Year. Speaking of the New Year......we're going to stay in this New Year's Eve and ring it in at home with plenty of finger foods and Welch's sparkling juice! I'm excited to bring in the New Year sober (haven't done that since........well who knows when) and not be passed out by the time the ball drops! New Year, new traditions, new beginnings
Hope you're all well and I didn't kill the thread somehow

Camery03

Hi all-
No, Sim you didn't kill the thread.. I love your posts, they are so uplifting and enlightening.
Things are going well here. Struggling a bit with some family issues right now. Feeling a bit selfish on some of my decisions I have made, but I have to always keep my sobriety and things in check for when I decide or not to attend some family functions. The latest dilemma is New Years Eve..... my cousin is getting married for the third time I might add. Reception is at a party hotel in the middle of no where, and there are a total of 3 parties there including her reception. My family decided how cool to reserve a block of rooms and all go and spend the holiday together. All good right? Until the fact remains that most or all of my family will be messed up well before midnight and the intention of going is just that. Rooms are 300.00 a night, its a 3 hour drive, no non alcoholic alternatives anywhere in sight, and well..... you know the rest.
So, I am not going. I cant risk anything right now, nor do I want to. The response I got from my family when I told them why was " well, no one said you had to drink". Which in itself is sad.....
So, of course, I am now feeling the after effects of that whole saga. But you know what.... I am a grown woman--- ultimately it is my decision and not theirs. I am stronger then they think!

joandmelandhan

Hi all! Gosh I think this holiday period has unnerved a few of us. Me included. Of course it's a genuine feeling of gratitude to be sober and nice and steady over Christmas. Can't deny that. However my mind is wandering and thinking about things I don't want to think about. Drinking (yes a bit), the past (yes and not in a good way), fear (it won't go away) anxiety (having visitors I can't rest enough) etc etc......plus I'm easily confused and getting my words mixed up all the time. It's scary. I'm putting it down to revmcover and not that I'm going bonkers......catch up soon guys off out. Take care xxx

joandmelandhan

Back from lovely meal. Looking forward to going home and getting back to my normal routine. Sorry for the typo in previous post I meant "recovery".......anyway I'll keep on keeping on and hope normality calms my thoughts etc down when I get home. Goodnight all xxx

Simplicity4114

Happy Wednesday All! My little nasty starving AV has been a little chatty Kathy today. All the usual lies. When I first came to this site, I wasn't sure if I was actually an alcoholic. I knew I drank a lot, too much, but I wasn't convinced I actually had a problem. I have a problem. No non-alcoholic thinks of drinking everyday. No non-alcoholic dwells on drinking this way or wishes their brain had an off switch for their AV. Jeezus. I've come to think that overcoming this addiction is the second hardest thing I've experienced in life (second only to losing my son). Some days are good, and drinking is only a passing thought. Some days are like this one, a sort of obsessive mental anguish. I will not drink today. If I do not feed the addiction it will slowly die and as it gets weaker, I get stronger.......even so I figured I'd rat out the thoughts, remain accountable.

Camery-Good on you for putting yourself first. You know yourself better than anyone else so if this is the best decision for you at this point in time, then so be it! It's no fun feeling like you're disappointing people....but ultimately it's their problem, not yours....don't buy into the guilt.

Jo-I don't think your going bonkers But if those are the symptoms, I will join you on the crazy train. Thoughts of drinking, the past, regrets, feelings of anxiety & fear and an overall mixed bag of confusion creep up on me also. My main defense.....being present. Choosing to stop the thoughts (as best I can) and focus on the here and now. I often find myself asking, "what can I do to enjoy this very moment more"? Sometimes its as simple as opening the sun roof while driving, turning on some music, lighting a scented candle, or taking a warm bath. Sometimes its stealing away for a couple of minutes and meditating, just me and my breath. At other times it's distractions; a crossword, reading, urge surfing or working out. Whatever you can do to keep your mind in the here and now. So the saying goes, " Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present." -Bil Keane A little cheesy, I know.

Well off to take my own advice and get this AV monkey off my back.....hope the little &^*%$# can swim cause I'm off to draw a bath

Elke516

Hi everyone, haven't been here for a couple of days and I missed you. It's so great to read your posts, almost like coming home

Someone made me a mug of tea today and pored Rum in it Luckily I could smell it and chucked it away quickly. I was quite shocked as it took me by surprise. All I wanted to do is get rid of it. 7 months ago I would have enjoyed it.

Hey Camery, I too think you're doing the right thing. I'm sure you'll have a great new year's eve in your new town!

Hi Sim, thank you for sharing your lovely story about your ancestors. I find it really interesting.

Hi Jo, I'm looking forward to getting back to normal routines too. There is too much talk about drinking around me....

My last test is on new years eve, we're going to my partners drinking friend. Luckily his wife doesn't drink either but he's always trying to serve me alcohol. My plan is to talk to his wife beforehand and let her know that I definitely won't be drinking. Sparkling water for me please!

Hi to Dee, Flossy, Phoenix, CG, LW and everyone else who's reading

Take good care and lots of love xxx

PhoenixJ

I would say hello Elke- to you and everyone. I can't because I have not read you saying hello. Have a good day all. Weird weather every where in the ancient land, this wide- lonely space girthed by sea. ......oh shutup me.

Flossyteacake

Lurking, reading, melting (38c today), staying sober.

joandmelandhan

Back home after being away a few days. I'm very emotional today and it's knocked me a little. So easy to underestimate life and living it sober. Strikes me that I've used alcohol to numb all feelings and they're sneaking out. I'm feeling a craving for something but I don't have the desire for alcohol. It's like I want an out for a while.......but that's not how I live now so back to basics for now. One day at a time. Fifteen years of medicating depression with alcohol will take a lot of undoing mentally for sure. Can't turn back the clock so it's onward and allow time to keep healing........take care all and hope you are all doing well over the holidays xxx